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BLUE CAGE by VanillaMint
Part 17
“ Where did Toshiya go in the middle of practice?” Die frowned as he pressed the redial button on his phone.
“ It’s been 2 hours since then. I suppose he’d have gone home,” Shinya said.
“ Then why isn’t he picking up his phone?”
Shinya continued driving silently while his friend kept trying to reach Toshiya. The wiper swiped smoothly across the windscreen, clearing the raindrops for a second before Shinya found it difficult to see again.
“ Can’t get him. Do you think you can drive me to Toshiya’s place?” Die asked the drummer.
“ What? It takes me a whole hour to drive back from Toshiya’s apaato to my house! It’ll take even longer at this time considering it’s rush hour and it’s raining cats and dogs!” Shinya could not believe Die was asking this of him.
“ Please..~” Die begged. “ I need to know if he’s okay.”
The younger man sighed as he queued behind another car to make a U-turn.
“ Thank you so much! I’ll buy you dinner some day!”
“ You owe me more than a dinner,” Shinya glared at the redhead.
As expected, they got caught in a traffic jam. Shinya rolled his eyes as he listened to the rain drumming the top of his car. He himself wondered why he can never reject Die.
I’m always being used by him. He never sees me or care for me half as much as he does Toshiya. Shinya paused and dawdled on his thoughts. How much more pathetic can I get? I told myself that day that I won’t step between him and Toshiya. But every time we have practice and I see them as a couple, I envy Toshiya so much…even though…
“ Remember what I told you about Toshiya?”
“ Huh?” Shinya broke from his thoughts.
“ About someone hurting him.”
Shinya nodded. He remembered Toshiya, crying in the darkened hotel room. How he held on to Shinya and cried.
“ Yeah.”
Die looked gloomily at the rain outside. “ It’s Kaoru.”
The younger man stepped on the clutch. The traffic in front was moving slowly, the cars inching forward bit by bit. “ I know.”
Surprised, the guitarist turned to look at the auburn-haired man. “ You knew? Since when?!”
“ Not long after you did,” Shinya answered simply.
“ How did-”
“ Toshiya told me.”
Die leaned back against his seat. “ He never mentioned to me that you knew and you didn’t say anything either!”
Shinya frowned. “ What’s the big deal? After all, he did tell you it was Kaoru. And furthermore, Toshiya asked me to keep it a secret.”
Die felt a bit guilty. He was going to tell Shinya what Toshiya told him in confidence. It did not matter whether Shinya knew or not. Toshiya had trusted Die not to tell anyone. But the fact that the bassist confided in Shinya made him curious.
“ What else did he tell you?” Die asked.
Shinya narrowed his eyes and glared at the redhead. “ Nothing.” The drummer stopped his car in front of Toshiya’s apartment building.
“ We’re here.”
“ Thanks,” Die opened the door into the rain.
“ Wait!” Shinya called and handed an umbrella to him. “ Why not I wait for you here? In case he’s not in. If he’s up there, then gimme a call and I’ll go home.”
Die flashed him a thumbs up and dashed towards the apartment with the umbrella.
Shinya flopped back on his seat, staring absently at the roof of his car.
Why do I care so much about Die?
Shinya thought about that day in the hotel room.
He had been kneeling on the floor, arms around the shoulders of the crying bassist. They stayed like that for quite some time until Toshiya’s tears subsided.
“ Toshiya, what’s wrong?” Shinya had asked softly.
Toshiya looked at Shinya with his tear-stained face. Even the waterproof mascara was smudged around his eyes. But he looked so broken, so fragile. “ What would you do when the person you love hurts you?”
Shinya kept quiet as he thought for a moment. “ I guess it would depend on what was it they did…”
Toshiya pulled away from the drummer and unbuttoned his shirt. “ These scars and fading bruises were left on me by him. Not once but he hurt me so many times.”
Shinya tried to absorb what his friend was saying. The person that Toshiya loves…not Die; Die would never do this to anyone.
The younger man moved towards Toshiya and slowly rebuttoned his shirt. Then he touched Toshiya’s face, bringing their eyes to meet. “ Then you have to leave him.”
Toshiya closed his eyes and his expression grimaced in pain. “ I know…but I love him so much I’m actually choosing between leaving and letting him do this to me. I want Kaoru to love me back…”
“ Toshiya…you’re stupid.”
Toshiya cried again. “ Yes, I know.”
“ Then stop. There is someone near you who loves you already…”
The bassist wiped his tears.
“ If you give that love a chance, you might be happier.”
“ Do you think so, Shinya?”
Shinya put his right hand over Toshiya’s and squeezed it tightly. “ I do.”
At that time, Toshiya had smiled and thanked the drummer. Now inside the car, Shinya sighed all by himself.
Toshiya, don’t need to thank me. I wasn’t saying it for you. I was saying it for that dumb ass annoying-as-hell baka Die…
Die, you baka…
Shinya, you baka…
The rain continued pouring down.
+
Die pressed the doorbell again but there was no response. Either Toshiya was not in or he was ignoring him. Inside his heart there was a gnawing unpleasant feeling that he did not want to think about.
Something to do with Kaoru and the boy he brought to practice earlier.
+
The droplets of rain wet his hair. The young man stared at the screen of his cell phone. Die was calling him but he could not answer it now. His mind and heart was in turmoil. The worst thing was that it hurt…it hurt seeing Kaoru with someone else. Why couldn’t he just embrace Die’s love fully?
Toshiya scrolled down the list of names in his phone and stopped at one.
+ to be continued comments onegai^^?
back to deg fics pg 1
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