You might be a Computer Illiterate if...
if there is white out on your computer screen.
if you don't use Windows because you religiously don't believe in icons.
you wonder who General Protection Fault is and what the hell the army wants from you.
the only reason you hang out with that *geek* next door is because he will fix you computer for free
you think your mouse is a foot pedal
you own a Macintosh
you think the computer from which virus came actually created the virus (it's all a conspiracy).
you think modem usage will show up on your phone bill.
you think the "escape" key will beam you out of the building in case of fire.
you don't know where the "any" key is.
you try to use the microphone on your PC to tell Windows 95 what to do.
you try to use the microphone on your PC to tell DOS what to do.
you use AOL disks as coasters.
you've used the CD-ROM tray as a cup holder.
you've used the CD-ROM tray as a cup holder.
you think Dilbert creates artificially high standards for managers.
you think laser printers receive print commands by laser beam.
you've ever tried to play a CD-ROM in a stereo.
you've ever tried to talk to a modem on the other end of the line.
you went shopping for Microsoft Bob for Dummies...
...and you really needed it.
you think Microsoft Windows is a rip-off, because it never does what you want it to.
Someone gives you a 5-1/4" Floppy and you fold it to fit in your 3-1/2" Drive and wonder why the drive doesn't work.
You immediately move to Mexico or Canada because you got an "Illegal Operation" error on your computer screen.