Music plays.


Curtain rises.



Act Two, Scene One. Building the Barricade.


John, all of his associates, Katherine, the lackeys, and the miners are on stage, in front of the giant Morphz screen. The lackeys and miners seem to be carrying around old furniture and junk as they enter and exit the stage from various sides. Everyone else is gathered around John as the music starts.

John:
Here at this link we will build our Barricade!
At the entrance to the board we claim as our own!
Each man to his duty and don't be afraid
Wait! I will need a report on the strength of the foe!

Katherine:
I can find out the truth!
I know their ways
Did their jobs, served my time
In the days when I was good!

John considers this, then nods at her. She runs off, stage left.

Ili: Now the people will fight!

Jan: And so they might!

Ian: Dogs will bark! Fleas will bite!

Cole Slaw: They will do what is right!

Dark Shadow (off by himself, watching):
Well, now, what is this I see?
An army made of willing fools
I know this is no place for me
But I must stay if I'm to rule.

I should get out before the trouble starts
Get out or I might get shot
Technically I'd get Oreo’d
But it'd still hurt quite a lot.

I just have to hope that John will win
So I can start my kingdom here
But he is such a stupid head
He'll probably lose, I fear

Either way
My time is near!

John and everyone exit stage right and left. The giant Morphz screen rises to reveal the Tri-Leaders still sitting in the party room. It moves towards the front of the stage again. Holli, Tails, and Tyrael are playing Monopoly. Sally is sitting next to a (thankfully) clothed Roseidous. Ann and Roses are talking. Katherine enters, stage right.

Roses: Katherine! Good morning! I see you got away from John. What's the news?

Katherine: Well, for one, John is my father.

Everyone gasps.

Tyrael: Ewwww! He had you while he was 5?!

Katherine: No, while he was fifteen. I'm pretty sure my mom did some genetic tampering to age me, so that John would have a harder time dealing with me.

Roseidous: Why would you be hard to deal with?

Everyone stares.

Katherine: Don't blame him, he's never had to share a room with me.

Ann: He's never experienced the "Got Your Nose" game from Hell, huh?

Katherine: Nope…until now!

She reaches up and pinches Roseidous' nose.

Katherine: I've got your nose! I've got your nose!

She runs around while Roseidous chases her.

Roseidous (on verge of tears): Give it back! Give it baaaaaaack!

Katherine climbs on top of the statue of the naked woman.

Katherine: I've got your nose! I've got your nose!

Roseidous: Give it baaaaaaaaaaack!

Holli and Tails start laughing, Ann yells "Throw it out the window! Throw it out the window!" at Katherine, and Tyrael crawls under the couch and covers his head saying "Somebody stop the yelling! PLEASE STOP THE YELLING!!!!".

Roses: SHUT UP! Katherine, give Rosey back his nose and come down.

Katherine pretends to throw something down at Roseidous, who immediately starts twisting his nose, presumably trying to screw it back on.

Roses: Now, Katherine, aside from that strange, Star Wars-esque revelation about your parentage, what else did you learn?

Katherine: La Resistance has bigger plans than we thought. They really are setting up a barricade.

Ann: They wouldn't dare!

Katherine: Oh, but they are. And I know where they're doing it.

She pauses for dramatic effect.

Katherine: The Morphz Message Board.

Tails: He wouldn't!

Katherine: Sadly, he is.

Holli: Okay, he's crossed the line with this one! We have to head this off.

Katherine: Too late, the Barricade's probably already set up. I wasn't able to sneak away until they were building it.

Roseidous: Surely someone has to have noticed!

Katherine: Maybe. They did it pretty early this morning, though. And don't call me Shirley.

Roseidous: Huh?

Katherine: Never mind.

Roses: Well, I wasn't expecting something this big from him. But we can't let him take over Morphz- that would give him unbelievable power!

Tyrael: So what are we going to do?

Roses: Rosey, assemble the clones. Holli, Tails, get the associates. Tyrael, get as much milk as possible. Ann, get your Oreos together. This means war!

Holli: Oooooh! Can we get Mr. Packard?

Roses: Yeah, sure, we'll need all the help we can get! Oh, and tell him he has to wear spandex so that he can move faster on the battlefield.

Ann, Holli, and Tails grin happily. Tri-Leaders exit stage left and right. A projector screen drops from the ceiling and shows a movie of the Super Model Clones assembling, looking oddly like scenes from Star Wars Episode II. The Death Army of Roseidous Theme Song plays in the background as more scenes are shown of the other Tri-Leaders preparing for battle.

An Unseen Choir:
Gloria
Honorifice
Pralium Facio

Animus
Gradior Quo
Prodo

In Excelsis
Precedo
Bellator
Decerte
Adversa
Incurro
Invadoria

Desideratus Fatum
Desideratus Bellum

The projector screen rises and all the Tri-Leaders re-enter the stage from various directions.

Ann: Is that everything?

Holli: Yep! It’s all done!

Roses: Listen up, people! This is war. Okay, so there are no real bullets and no one is really going to die, but you never know what could happen with those Oreos. So be careful out there. Oh, and um, leave no man standing! Throw them all in the mines!

She suddenly becomes “dramatic.”

Roses: We few, we happy few, we band of brothers. For he who sheds his blood with me today shall be my brother! And let it be known throughout the land, that those who fought here on the fields of Agincourt, shall be remembered upon this holy day, the day of St. Crispin!

Ann: Ahem. Did you make that up?

Roses: Oh, sorry. It’s Shakespeare. Sort of. Some of it’s right, and some I made up. I watched that movie way too many times, I think. But it's really a great speech. Kenneth Branaugh does it much better.

Ann: I’m sure.

Tyrael: So that’s it, then. We really are going to do this?

Roses: Well…you see…I do have one other option…

She and Ann grin evilly at each other.



Curtain drops.