Rodney stared at the creature that Lieutenant Ford, Teyla, and Sergeant Bates had brought back through the Stargate.Two weeks ago, that creature had had a name, a purpose, a smirk worth a thousand words and hair that spoke in five book trilogies a la Douglas Adams. Two weeks ago, on a supposedly peaceful planet of nuns and monks, that creature had been Major John Sheppard, United States Air Force, Atlantis' Military Commander.
Elizabeth Weir had turned a ghastly shade of white when she saw what had become of the Major. Rodney couldn't blame her. It was terrifying to look at the creature and know who it had been, know the warmth and humor and sarcasm that were the man's personality. Rodney couldn't even think of the creature as John Sheppard. He had to look at it clinically, as a problem to be solved, a cold equation to plug numbers into. It was why he called it 'the creature', or just 'the Major', even in his own mind. If he stopped and let himself remember John Sheppard too much, he'd break down in the halls, like Teyla had done. Or get up and walk out of a meeting with tears running down his cheeks, like Elizabeth had when hearing Carson's diagnosis. Even Ford's voice had broken when talking about the Major.
Rodney knew people thought he didn't care, because he didn't show any emotion. On the contrary, he cared too much. He wanted to hide in his quarters and cry for the friend he'd lost, but he couldn't for fear that he'd never come out of his quarters again.
He probably wouldn't be going on any missions any time soon, and no one was going to Iuglonia ever again. The Iuglonians had seemed to be a peaceful people, a bit too much on the religious side for Rodney, but willing to trade and not try to force their views on religion on the team, so he'd kept his mouth shut.
Maybe he should have been more sarcastic. Maybe the Iuglonians would have gotten offended and tossed them off the planet.
Instead, they'd invited the team to join them in a religious tea ritual. The tea had been drugged, or it was a drug, and they had all been knocked out. Rodney had awoken with Teyla and Ford on another planet, the Major missing. The natives on the planet where they had awoken, the Yagekki, had told them of the Iuglonians' tendency to drug their visitors and toss them through the Stargate, minus one person. One of the Yagekki wise women had told Teyla that the Iuglonians had an underground society that did awful experiments on visitors, turning them into monsters simply for the sake of doing so. The monsters were usually sent on to the Yagekki's planet when they Iuglonians had no more use for them, which was anywhere between a week and a month. Elizabeth had sent Bates' team to wait on the planet while Carson had examined Teyla, Ford, and Rodney. Rodney had chosen to stay behind on Atlantis when Ford and Teyla had gone to join Bates' team. He wasn't sure he wanted to be there if and when the Major was sent through the Stargate.
Now, though, Rodney could see the result of the Iuglonians' complete and utter disregard for any non-native human life in the creature that currently resided in the holding cell. For two weeks he'd hoped that Major Sheppard had escaped the sadistic acts the Yagekki wise woman had described. He hadn't.
The Major's right arm was permanently bent at the elbow, his wrist was knobby, the hands and fingers curled into a claw. His face and chest were covered with a scaly material that Carson said had replaced his own skin. One eye was missing, replaced with an orb of what Rodney could only describe as Borg-like circuitry. His hair had been cropped close to his head, and his scalp looked like he'd been burned.
There were ridges of some sort growing out of his spine, from the T1 vertebra down to the L3 vertebra. The last ridge had tubes running from it to the equine-like legs that were attached at the top of the Major's thighs, just below his buttocks. They were functional legs, turning the Major into a twisted version of a centaur from Greek mythology.
The Major's legs and left arm were the only relatively unscathed part of him. 'Relatively' meaning only scars - cuts and burns and a few Rodney didn't want to even think about what might have caused them.
The worst damage, though, had to be to the Major's mind. Quite simply, the Iuglonians had driven him insane. Bates had had to use the Wraith stunner on the Major just to get him calm enough to get through the gate. Carson had kept him sedated until he'd finished his grim examination and they'd moved him to the holding cell where they'd kept the Wraith prisoners. Since then, the Major had been throwing himself at the force shields until exhausted, screaming at the top of his lungs in some garbled version of English. He'd attacked anyone who had tried to enter the cell. It was as if he didn't recognize anyone as a friend anymore.
Carson had told Rodney, Ford, and Elizabeth that he wasn't even sure how to begin undoing the surgical alterations to Major Sheppard. Even if he could restore the Major physically, he'd added, Dr. Heightmeyer thought that the Major had suffered a complete psychotic break, and it could be years before he recovered -- if he ever recovered.
Rodney couldn't fathom the sheer callousness it took to do this to another living being, and for sport. This wasn't scientific research or torture, this was because the Iuglonians, apparently, enjoyed it.
It made Rodney sick. Not to mention that underneath the grotesque alterations and the broken mind, that was still John Sheppard. Still Rodney's friend.
Rodney sighed. He had less than five minutes to accomplish what he'd come here to do. That was as long as he could loop the security feed on the camera in the corner before anyone in the control room got suspicious. There were guards outside the main entrance to the cells, but Rodney had found an alternate entrance that led to a hallway near the infirmary, probably to ensure rapid treatment of prisoners.
Rodney had to do this now, since the Major had been sedated for another examination not too long ago, and was still unconscious. Rodney deactivated the shield and opened the door. He slipped in; carefully walking around the edge of the cell, ensuring the Major was still out before he approached. He knelt by the Major's side and took a syringe from his pocket. Rodney looked at the Major again before carefully inserting the needle into his left arm, almost on top of the puncture wound from the previous sedation. No point in leaving another mark. Depressing the plunger, Rodney watched dispassionately as the liquid flowed from the syringe into the Major's body.
He'd recapped the syringe and was moving to get up when his arm was grabbed. Looking down, Rodney saw the Major looking at him, his one remaining eye focused on Rodney.
That eye spoke volumes in that moment -- gratitude and forgiveness and even an apology, before the lid closed. Rodney gave the arm a gentle farewell squeeze, knowing some vestigial part of John Sheppard still lived inside the creature, before he left the cell, closing the door and reactivating the shield. He slipped out the second entrance, making sure it was sealed. He'd left his radio on, so he knew no one had seen him -- Elizabeth would have called down to him, wondering what the hell he thought he was doing.
He went back to his quarters, waiting for the inevitable summons to the infirmary. He'd slip the syringe into the biohazard container there.
Looking down at his hands, Rodney wondered if Major Sheppard had felt like this after shooting Colonel Sumner to prevent him from dying at the hands of the Wraith. That hadn't been planned, though, not like this.
John had forgiven him, had been grateful to him for ending the hellish existence he was doomed to. Still, Rodney thought as he got up to answer Elizabeth's summons to the infirmary, he wasn't sure how long it would take before he could forgive himself for killing a friend.