| Wishes- by kyrdwyn |
| Rated: G Spoilers: None Synopsis: Elizabeth reads Gillian's letter to Santa; Gil is too late answering his phone |
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| CSI, Gil Grissom and company, and places and etc are all property of Anthony Zuiker, Alliance Atlantis, CBS, and other companies. They did not condone this fic, and I am not getting paid for it. I write because I want to. All other characters not appearing on CSI in any way, shape, or form that appear in this story are my property. If you have any comments - good or bad, feel free to e-mail me at: toxicrev@yahoo.com |
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| Elizabeth noticed the letter on the kitchen table when she got home that afternoon. Gillian must have left it there before she left for school that morning, probably for Elizabeth to mail. Sitting down, she picked up the envelope and smiled at the childish printing on the address - 'Santa Claus, North Pole". Gillian's annual letter to Santa Claus - a 6-year-old girl's wish list. Since the envelope wasn't sealed, Elizabeth felt no qualms about reading the letter and seeing what her daughter wanted for Christmas. Though her daughter still believed in Santa, Elizabeth provided the presents that the jolly man left under the tree for her baby girl. When she unfolded the page, her eyes skimmed over the words written in pencil and she caught her breath at Gillian's wish. Dear Santa - I have tried really really hard to be good this year. It is hard to be good all the time. I have been bad some. What I want for Christmas is my Daddy. Mommy and Grandma say you see everything and know everyone. I guess you know my Daddy and know that I have never seen him. Mommy says he lives in Las Vegas. That is very far and I cant visit him. I have pictures of him - he is very handsome. Mommy says I have his smile. But I want to talk to him. I miss him. Even if Las Vegas is too far for a visit, could you have him call me on the telephone? That is all I want for Christmas this year. Thank you. Give Mrs. Claus and Rudolph a hug for me. Love, Gillian Elizabeth Grissom Elizabeth carefully refolded the letter and put it back into the envelope. She stared at the letter on the table, tears running down her cheeks. She hadn't realized just how much the lack of Gil in her life affected Gillian. Gillian had always asked a lot of questions about her father - and they were getting harder for Elizabeth to answer. She refused to keep Gil a secret from his daughter, but she didn't want Gillian thinking that he didn't want her. When Gillian had asked, Elizabeth had brought out the pictures she'd saved from her life with Gil. She was honest about where he lived, and even told her stories about him and his insects - good memories Elizabeth was happy to talk about with their daughter. Gillian had seemed content with that, until now. Oh Lord, what was going to happen when Gillian didn't get her wish? Elizabeth hated having to disillusion her baby girl in any way. But since Gil didn't know about Gillian, her wish wasn't going to come true. Elizabeth closed her eyes, sighing. Every year that went by it got harder and harder to try to tell Gil about their daughter. She hated keeping Gillian from him. It was evil of her, she knew. But at the time Gillian was born, she'd still be dealing with the emotional pain of the ending of their relationship. She'd been selfish in not wanting to share Gillian, and she'd never really gotten over that. Gillian was the one part of Gil that Elizabeth could keep with her - a daily reminder of the joy and friendship and love that had lasted for almost twenty years. A reminder that Gil didn't have -- couldn't have -- unless Elizabeth told him. Getting in touch with Gil to tell him was always the hardest part. It wasn't something she could tell him in a letter, but every time she worked up the courage to call him he was never there. With both of them working different shifts in different states - and different time zones - she was never able to connect, and she didn't want to leave a message, afraid he might not call her back. She didn't know how the last six years had been for him. For all Elizabeth knew, Gil had moved on with his life -- found someone else, maybe gotten married, had children with her. In a way, Elizabeth wished he had -- she still loved him and wanted him to be happy. Part of her, though, hoped he hadn't -- hoping that if she ever did tell him about Gillian they could patch things up, maybe become a real family. There were times she just wanted to pack up and move back to Las Vegas and beg him for another chance, for him to forgive her. If he asked her, she would in a heartbeat. But first she had to talk to him. She owed it to Gillian to try once more, to tell Gil about her.. It was what Gillian wanted for Christmas. Elizabeth got up and went into her bedroom, picking up the phone to dial his home number. Funny how after 6 years she still knew it by heart. She listened to the ringing, hoping he was there, that he would pick up and she would hear his voice. When she did hear it, though, it was the same as always - his machine. She set the phone down before the message could finish playing. Leaving a message on his machine seemed so cold. Elizabeth was dialing the number for the crime lab when Gillian's voice sounded in the front hall. She was calling her good-byes to the girls from the bus stop. Elizabeth set the phone down and wiped away her tears. She went back into the kitchen just as Gillian entered. The little girl gave her a big hug as she always did. Elizabeth hugged her back, grateful to have this small reminder of her love. * * * * * Gil raced across his living room and picked up the phone a second behind his answering machine. Before he could say anything, he heard the click of the caller hanging up their end of the line. Gil cursed, hanging up the phone. For a moment he just stared at it. Every time this happened over the past 6 years, he always wondered - hoped - that Elizabeth was trying to reach him, to talk to him. He wanted to talk to her, to apologize. He'd never forgotten her, never stopped loving her. If she asked, he'd drop everything in a heartbeat to go see her, be with her, love her. |
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