[ : Home : ] .......... [ : Religion : ] .......... [ : Survey : ] .......... [ : Journal : ] .......... [ : contact : ] Can't figure out what the hell I'm talking about half the time? Not suprising. I've been trying to assemble a guide of local inside jokes and eclectic terminology for some time now. In fact, since the Week That Danuta Left. What a party that was! This page will get updated probably more regularly than most other parts of my page (especially the sex page) and for good reason. Oh, and I do take suggestions seriously. 133t Usage: "j00 a1nt 133t, y0. 1 0w|\|s j00 wit m3 m4d sk!11z. I w!11 h4x0r j00." Yeah, it might as well be jibberish and that's why I'm including it here. There are many sites on the web that will automatically convert web pages or small bursts of text into "leet speak" but you have to be a real prick to use it, and a real "script kiddie" to rely on one of these translators to do the work of making everything you say harder to type and impossible to read. Here's a hint kids, if you wanna be 133t, don't use AOL. Get a real ISP and don't use chat rooms. If you use IRC then you have some redeeming value but for all this extra effort, couldn't you just get a job, go outside, or get laid instead? See also: this and this both shamelessly linked to from Detonate.net A an A word B a B word BDM (Big Dumb Monkey) Usage: "Hi, my name is Lucas and I'll be your Big Dumb Monkey for the evening." While in the past, a BDM has often been synonymous with BAN, it has recently been adopted as the unofficial name for Lucas McDonald. Since almost all of us have AT LEAST three nicknames at any given time, this was one that was granted to Lucas. C a C word Couchmonkey Someone who lives on your couch and doesn't often make much more of a contribution than that. Their presence is often only tolerated either out of necessity or humor. Cracker Usage: "Yo, wazzup my crackaz?" Derogatory slang for people of the pale caucasian persuasion. commonly used among fellow crackers as jest. See also; whitey, wonderbread, honkey, and Patrick. D a D word Donut Usage: "Damn, what a fucking donut. He just needs to sit down." A donut is what you call someone who no matter what they do, they just can't quite figure out how to do something right or how to be cool. Not surprisingly, the people who are usually donuts are people who tend to try too hard to be cool and invariably fuck up because it's forced. E an E word F an F word Failure Usage: Failure G a G word GQ (Geek Quotient) Usage: "I've got a Geek Quotient of 101.5 so bite me and reboot." This is a rating of how much of a geek you are. Results are determined after taking a test. Higher numbers mean that you are more of a geek, therefore higher numbers are better. Gaffle Usage: "Oh damn, you've been gaffled!" Gaffle means to steal or rip off. If someone leaves their box of pizza unguarded and you were to slide up in there and snake a piece for yourself, you've just gaffled a slice of pizza. Can you dig it? H an H word Honkey Usage: "Look at that crazy honkey trying to dance." Derogatory slang used to ground caucasians who have often forgotten that they are white. See also; cracker, wonderbread, whitey, and Patrick. House Girl A female that we let live with us rent free in exchange for doing all the things that we do not do. Simple things like cleaning and looking good. Admit it, conversations are much more interesting if there is a woman in the room to get embarassed or try to kick your ass. House Girls are not girlfriends and it is strongly advised to keep that in mind. I an I word Iro-American Usage: "Kiss me, I'm Iro-American." Well over a thousand years ago, the Anglo-Saxon tribes that were migrating and warring across Europe made their way to Britain and settled everywhere imaginable. Even Ireland. In fact, they were the ancestors of Ireland and as such, everyone with a dominant ammount of Irish in them extends back to these great peoples who also settled most of europe that wasn't taked over by the Germanic tribes and later, anything that came out of Rome. After that, they came to America just to further piss off the British. The term Iro-American is an adaptation of other politically correct terminology and means Irish-American and is short for "Someone with a majority of Irish ancestry but will probably never see Ireland in anything other than TV". See also; cracker, wonderbread, whitey, lucky, and Lucas. J a J word K a K word L an L word Llama Usage: "Mom, you llama, it's pronounced hax0r! How many times do I have to tell you?" Definition: Um... Er... You see it's a... um... Ok I know it's bad. I think it's game related but I don't play online enough to get called one. Maybe I do but I don't sit around and read what people are calling me. I just frag them. I'll look into this and let you know later. See also: whatever this is. M an M word Miserable Failure Usage: Miserable Failure Monkey Usage: "It's cool, he's a monkey like us." Basically, we're all just big dumb monkeys at heart. There is less than a two percent difference between our genetic code and that of monkeys. A damaged skull has been found which proves the "missing link" theory but since it is damaged, widespread acceptance is slow to follow. Anyway, calling each other monkeys reminds us of our ancestry and at the same time as being derogatory it also makes us feel better for having come a long way up the food chain. Often used as a friendly term to describe friends who sometimes act stupid and admit it. Monkey, Big Dumb See also; Big Dumb Monkey N an N word O an O word P a P word Prole Usage: "Him? Oh, he's just a big dumb Prole." Prole, short for proletarian, is a derogatory term for the lowest form of blue-collar working class person. Seldom literate. Without proles, we probably wouldn't have people to build or buy Ford trucks. Proles are easily spotted drinking Budweiser and wearing blue jeans to funerals. Q a Q word R an R word S an S word Short-Round Usage: "Here comes Short-Round, hide your breakables..." Inspired by the Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom movie character (but bearing no resemblance), this nickname has been lovingly given to a couple of my friends. Strangely enough, they have both been short women with really large chests and fierce tempers. I still have bruises but they like Short-Round better than being called "That girl who breaks everything she touches" and "Joel's Ex". Imagine that. If you are lucky enough to meet either of them, see also; Geico. Simian Usage: "Fucking simians..." Unfriendly version of Monkey. While the word Monkey often invokes friendly images of silly primates dangling from trees, the term Simian often invokes more frightening images of war prone primates who habitually fight, steal, cheat, play paintball, and bowl. Used in a sentence like the example above, it is meant to express disgust and/or infuriation at the incompetence of an individual. T a T word U a U word V a V word W a W word Wanker Usage: "Get out of the shower, you damned wanker!" Originally a British White Boy Another nickname for Shane (your humble webmaster) dating back to the Couchmonkey era. Whitey Usage: "Hey, whitey, get out of my seat. Get your ass to the back of the short bus." Another derogatory term for caucasians to have fun with and call each other. Also commonly used in jest since being called "whitey" is about as harmless as calling someone a "boob". See also; cracker, wonderbread, honkey, and Patrick. Wonderbread Usage; "Hey, wonderbread, what time is it?" More caucasian slang. Not used terribly often because it's really hard to pull off any sentence with the word 'wonderbread' in it and not sound like a boob. See also whitey, cracker, honkey, and Patrick. X an X word Y a Y word You don't understand! Usage: "Dude! You don't understand!" This is Patrick's signature phrase. Apparently we are never quite able to comprehend all the evil he has in store for whatever item he is going on and on about. This phrase always immediately sets a person on their guard because whatever follows will certainly be very wrong indeed and may very well cost you your life. That's what makes it fun. See also: The Darwin Awards Z a Z word