Teena: *clasps her hands over her heart melodramatically* Oh, the horror! Oh, the inhumanity! Duo: Oh, the stupidity. She's done another MST. This makes what, five? Teena: Yeah. Anyway, this is more of the Carebears fic. *shudders* I worry about Bee and Ana, I really do. The MSTadventures of Teena & Co. Episode 5-Carebears Part 2 Several of the MST group were gathered in the living room, amusing themselves in various ways. Treize was reading a book, Heero was working, Duo was pestering Heero, and Teena was skimming things on her laptop. Which suddenly started beeping. Teena blinked and typed something in. A moment later, she meeped. "What is it?" Treize asked, not looking up from his book. Teena looked up, her face pale. "You know that bridge I said we'd burn when we came to it?" "Yes," Treize replied suspiciously, glancing over at her. "Why?" "We just came to it, and it's fireproof," Teena replied weakly. Heero, Duo, and Treize all stared at her in shocked horror. "You're kidding, right?" Duo asked desperately. "No, afraid not. They actually did it. They wrote more of that... thing." "I'll get the others," Heero remarked stoically. He got up and went up to get the missing three members of their group. Duo whimpered, but walked over to the snack bar. Treize stuck a bookmark between the pages he was reading. Teena closed her laptop and crossed herself. A few moments later, Heero, Quatre, Trowa, and Zechs came down. Quatre and Trowa looked slightly ashen, while Heero and Zechs just looked very determined. Teena and Treize got up, and the group walked over to Duo, who had finished gathering his snacks, and was now looking at the doors to the viewing room fearfully. The new arrivals quickly grabbed a few things, then the seven MSTers walked into the room to confront one of their worst nightmares come to life. The next part of the first fic they ever MSTed. >Carebearsx3, x1, x2 >Part 2 Quatre: Oh, Allah, not again... >Otherwise known as "The Most MSTable Fic in the World Right Now But >Not in a Few Days" Teena: Extremely MSTable, but what's this 'not in a few days' stuff? Treize: None of us have ever claimed to understand these people. >by dj jazzy bee Teena: Bianca. I wonder what Ariana was doing while her partner was in the middle of writing this tripe. Heero: Helping, I suspect. >This was way too amusing to write. All: Then you shouldn't have written it!! >The all mighty Fluffy nodded. Zechs: All mighty Fluffy? Where does this person live in relation to reality? Quatre: I don't think there IS a relation to reality. >Then, it pulled out another photo of Heero wearing a French maid's >costume over some unknown man's lap, sucking his fingers. Teena/Duo: HEERO?!! Heero: I didn't! I have never in my life worn a French maid's outfit! Let alone sat in someone's lap wearing one! Teena/Duo: *exchange evil grins* Trowa: I think you won't be able to say that for very much longer. Quatre: *shrugs* So? You can't say that now, Trowa. *eyes widen, claps his hands over his mouth* Others: *stare at Quatre and Trowa* Quatre/Trowa: *blush* >"You wanna get with Heero too?" asked Quatre. Heero: That's just disturbing. Others: *shrug* Again, who doesn't? >He was a bit perturbed. Quatre: That is an understatement. Trowa: To say the least. >Perturbed perturbed perturbed. That was a funny word. Haha. Quatre: I do not think that way. I have never laughed at the word perturbed. Others: What the hell did they GIVE you?! >Then, with sudden violence, he began to smash the two pictures of the >Gundam pilots together, Duo/Teena: Together is where they belong! Heero: *sweatdrop* >tearing little holes through the paper. Zechs: Wonderful. An insane Carebear. Treize: How is this different from any other Carebear? Quatre: Oi! I used to watch Carebears all the time! Teena: Which could explain a lot about Quatre. Quatre: Hidoi~i!! >Quatre gasped. "Oh Fluffy! You're a murdering vicious psycho now! Quatre: Why is all the really WEIRD stuff in this fic happening to me? Heero: You're the only one who wouldn't have shoved a grenade up the bear's ass by now. >What's to become of you?" Heero: I think I just answered that question. Teena: *pulls out a grenade* Who wants to do the honors? Others: I do! >Fluffy, the pink carebear with homicidal urges, shrugged and put on a >Bill Clinton mask. Teena: Hmmm. This could explain the whole Monica Lewinski thing. If he was really a sex-crazed, insane Carebear... >The blonde sighed. It was always the ones suffering from dementia that >ran for office. Pilots+Teena: *stare at Treize and Zechs* Treize/Zechs: Nani?! >~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ Teena: Look! Pretty stars again! Treize: Zechs, what did I do with my helmet? Zechs: I don't know. *sighs, takes off his helmet* You can use mine. Treize: Arigato, Milliardo. *puts on the helmet* Teena: *stares at Zechs, drools* Duo/Heero: *glare at Teena* >"And then, to top it off, Quatre: I had to very carefully pour out just a few drops. Others: *sweatdrop* >the little bastard shoots me twice in the arm and five times in the head! Teena: Which head? I wonder what Heero would sound like as a soprano... Guys: TEENA!! >Then he fucks me"--Heero growled--"and runs!" Duo: Damn fuck and run drivers. The police almost never catch them. >The Japanese boy wailed, clutching his knees. Heero: I do NOT wail. Ever. Teena: Ummm... Actually, there was that one time a few nights ago... Heero: That doesn't count. >His therapist looked a bit...perturbed. Perturbed perturbed... Teena: Maybe it wasn't Quatre's thoughts. Maybe it was just the author. Quatre: I think that makes me feel better. >"I thought you said Duo shot you in the arm and in the leg." Zechs: Consistency is the defense of small minds. Heero: *glares at Zechs* You should know, you're an expert at being inconsistent. Teena: *starts counting off* First he was a bad guy, then a good guy, then a bad guy again, then in EW he was a good guy again. Zechs: *abashed* I couldn't make up my mind. >Heero's eye twitched. Heero: Twitched? >Yes, *twitched*; damn it, this is my fic and Heero'll twitch how I like. Teena: *evil grin* Heero: Don't EVEN say it. Hentai. Teena: *pouts* You never let me have any fun. >Five seconds later, the Sunshine and Rainbows Mental Health Institute Heero: Blew up? >blew up. All: *cheer* >How was poor, poor Heero to know that he'd just loosed a hoard of vicious >demons waiting for backpay from their cable companies? Trowa: Did anyone understand that? Others: Nope. >It wasn't his fault that the Carebears had never received royalties from >syndication. Teena: I don't think cartoon characters get royalties very often... Duo: How would they spend it? >~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ Teena: *claps* Yay, more pretty stars! Treize: *hunches down in his seat, pulling the helmet down firmly* Teena: Are you still twitching about the mallet thing? Treize: Yes. >Fluffy hissed All: Demon bear! >as Duo knocked a blonde with twig-like eyebrows off a golf cart Quatre: *smiles serenely* Heero: The golf cart again? Trowa: Quatre, don't you think you should do something about this vindictiveness towards Dorothy? Quatre: *ZERO look* Yes, I think I should kill her. Others: *scoot further away from Quatre* >and began to drive around, looking for someone. Teena: *as someone* Here I am! Come and get me! Duo: *as himself* There you are, someone! I've been looking all over for you! Heero: Bakas. Teena/Duo: *v-sign* >Suddenly, a blast that had gastric origins rocked the building. All: Who farted?! >~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ Teena: Wow, lots of- Others: Pretty stars... Teena: How'd you know I was gonna say that? >How I pity poor Martin Krutz. All: Who's Martin Krutz? >His well-meaning wife had baked beans that afternoon and he'd eaten >them, though they gave him bad gas. Teena: As opposed to GOOD gas? >Some evil little denizen from the pit had stolen his Beano, he was sure. Duo: *as evil little denizen from the pit* Nyah, I've got your Beano, and I'm NOT giving it back! So there! >Either way, his fart was poorly timed. All: Ok, HE farted. >Only five feet away, Heero was trying to fry his therapist to death with >a lighter. Heero: *evil smirk* Die, spawn of hell. Treize: Spawn of stupidity. That's worse. Teena: Now, now, you don't need to insult Bianca like that. >~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ Teena: *opens her mouth, closes it again* Nah. That running gag ran away. Treize: *peeks out from under the helmet* Does that mean it's safe to come out? Teena: I dunno. >Duo screamed as he saw Heero's body fly up into the air Teena: *singing* He flies through the air... Duo: *singing* With the greatest of ease... Quatre: *singing* That daring young man... Trowa: *singing* On the flying trapeze. Heero/Treize/Zechs: *stare* >and bounce off a telephone pole. "Ouch, that guy must have balls of >steel!" Teena: For some reason, nobody ever thinks of that when they hear Superman's nickname. Duo: Actually, that's always the FIRST thing I think of. >~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ Teena: You know, I think I can actually see constellations... >Quatre woke Quatre: *puzzled* When did I go to sleep? I don't remember that being mentioned. Treize: Continuity is the defense of small minds, too. >to find himself surrounded by... By... They looked like small bears, >but they smelled like aftershave and old beer. He would even go so far >as to say one of them had a beer belly. Duo: Finally, the Carebears had revealed their TRUE forms! >"Oh d-d-d-dear," he said, sighing. Quatre: *offended* I do NOT stutter. I had far too many diction classes as a child for that. Teena: Speech Impediment Quatre. That's even scarier than ZERO System Quatre. Quatre: *ZERO glare at Teena* Teena: *meeps* Or not. >~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ Teena: *sighs* You know, those are much less fun without the running gag. Treize: But much safer. >Relena and Noin, Heero: In this fic, that's a frightening combination. Others: *nod agreement* >who were engaged in an intimate body painting session, Teena: 9xR? Does that disturb anyone else? Others: *raise their hands* Teena: Okay, that disturbs everyone else. Disturb disturb disturb. Others: *stare at her in horror* Duo: Okay, I think SOMEbody is getting messed up by this fic. Teena: *grins* Who, me? Whatever makes you say that? >sadly perished Pilots+Teena: *cheer* Zechs: It said 'SADLY perished'. Heero: I'm sure THEY were sad about it. >after a giant paper machie rainbow Teena: She spelled papier mache wrong. Tsk, tsk. >fell on their heads as the ceiling was caving in. Zechs: I thought Relena was outside. Treize: I thought Noin wasn't even there. Pilots+Teena: *smugly* Continuity is the defense of small minds, remember? Treize: My past remarks seem to be coming back to haunt me. >~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ Teena: What the heck. Once more, for old time's sake. *bounces in her chair* Look at all the pretty stars! Treize: *winces* >TBC... All: THERE'S GOING TO BE MORE?! Heero: *checks the clip in his gun* Who's up for author-hunting? Teena: NO! No author-hunting! Remember, this is just one fic out of many, and most of them are pretty good. Trowa: True, but this one pulls down their average a fair amount. Teena: I know, but we must be merciful. One never knows when one might need compassion for one's OWN bad fic. Duo: But WE don't write fics. Just you. Teena: *gives him a look* You want to argue with me? Duo: *meeps* No, ma'am. All: *get up and leave* Heero popped the clip back into his gun and glared at Teena. "I want to shoot her." "No. There will be no shooting of authors. We are not the MST Avengers. We heckle, but do no harm." "You can't stop me if I decide to go," Heero pointed out. Teena's eyes narrowed, and she leaned over to whisper something in his ear. Heero's eyes widened. "You wouldn't." "Bet?" Heero's shoulders slumped. "You win. No author-hunting." "Good boy. Let's get lunch, I'm starving." Quatre blinked at her. "But you had all those snacks during the fic." "Well, yeah, but junkfood isn't all THAT filling." "I'm hungry, too," Duo added. Heero glanced over at him as he put his gun away. "Baka. You're always hungry." "Yeah. So?" The other four sweatdropped, then exchanged looks and shrugs. Zechs spoke first. "Whose turn is it to make lunch?" "Mine," Quatre replied. "I'll get started." "I'll help you," Trowa said with a gentle smile. The two walked into the kitchen. Teena and Duo started bouncing around, complaining that they were hungry, until Heero grabbed a braid in each hand and yanked. Both braided teens hit the floor. "ITAI!!" they both yelped. "You'll eat when lunch is ready. Until then, shut up and wait." Teena and Duo sat on the floor and sulked, and the other three settled down to wait for lunch. ~owari~ Teena: *curled up in a corner, whimpering* Duo: She would've gotten this done faster, but she had to do it in sections. She can only take so much bad fic at one time. And even so, it did THIS to her. Heero: *kneels next to Teena, shakes her* Snap out of it. It's over now. Teena: *curls up tighter* Duo: I think she's traumatized...