Teena: Okay, I now go at one of Sephiroth's fics. I didn't choose one of the commonly MSTed ones like 'Very Strange Indeed', or the PantherxDuo fic. I feel those have been done enough. Duo: *shudders* The panther fic never should've been done in the first place. Teena: *sighs* When I say done, I mean MSTed. The MSTadventures of Teena & Co. Episode 3-Heaven Keeps No Time The computer went off, beeping loudly. Teena groaned and threw a pillow at it. The infernal contraption continued to beep. She prodded one of her bedmates. "Heero, make it shut up! Shoot it or something." Heero gave her a stern look, and climbed out of bed. He walked over to the computer and hit the read message button. "You don't shoot the computer to make it stop beeping. It might be an important message. You get up and find out what it's making all the noise about." "Well, what is it making all the noise about?" Teena asked sleepily. Heero glanced at the screen, then winced. "Fanfic." Teena yelped, then jumped out of bed and ran over to the computer. She quickly skimmed the message, then screamed in horror. Running to the closet, she pulled out her tank top and stretch pants, and quickly put them on. "Heero, get Duo up and get dressed! I'll get the others up! This is big deal, immediate priority!" With that, she dashed out of the room, leaving Heero to his assigned tasks. She ran along the hall, knocking on the doors and yelling. "Up and at 'em, minna! We've got fiction sign, and it's BIG!" Teena ran downstair, and was joined by the others between five and ten minutes later. They all looked varying degrees of confused, even Heero, and he had seen the message. "Okay, you all need to brace for this one. This is one of Sephiroth's fics. I just thank my lucky stars it's not the pantherxDuo one." "PantherxDuo!?!" Duo yelped loudly. "Calm down, I just said it isn't that one. This is bad, folks, real bad. Get your stuff, and let's go." Everyone gathered their snacks and drinks, and again, Teena slipped something into Heero's soda. The seven MSTers then marched bravely into the viewing room, prepared for the worst. >Heaven Keeps No Time Duo: Why, are all the clocks broken? Others: *chorus of groans* >Heero and Duo ran down the corridor of the OZ facility, firing back at >their pursuers. Treize: Wonderful. More names to memorize. It's a good thing I have an eidetic memory. Teena: *grins* Yeah, you're the proverbial elephant that never forgets. Treize: *looks offended* I'm not an elephant! Am I, Milliardo? Zechs: No, sir, you're as trim as you were at twenty. Pilots+Teena: *snicker* >"What the hell did you rescue me for, Duo?" Heero demanded. "You should've >let me die here." Heero: I'm right. The mission shouldn't be compromised. Duo: Well, neither should your life! Teena: I'm with Duo. ::argument ensues, everyone gets in on it:: Teena: HOLD IT! Fic, peoples! Remember why we're here! >"Not a chance, lover." Duo replied. "Now, hurry up and let's get the hell >out of here." Duo: I couldn't have said it better myself! Quatre: But Duo, that IS yourself. Teena: Ah, the wonderful confusion of fic personae. >As Heero passed him, the Shinigami Pilot reached out and took the Perfect >Soldier's hand. Duo: *as himself* Oi, didn't you read the road signs? No passing! >Holding hands, they kept running, the exit coming into view. Teena: *as exit* Here I am! Do you see me? I'm in view! What's in view? Duo: *as himself* No, no, it's into-view! Those people behind us are going to interview you! Teena: *as exit* Oh, goody! Heero: *mutters* Bakas. Teena/Duo: *v-sign* >Heero felt a blinding pain Heero: I can't see! Hey, doesn't that mean I can read the fic? *cheers* Teena: *wryly* Open your eyes. Heero: *opens his eyes* Damn... >as something struck him in the back. For a moment, everything went black. Quatre: He had pitched headfirst into Duo's shirt. Teena: Oooh, good one! Quatre: *smiles* >Then, he was standing upon a misty Zechs: That's a bad thing. Teena: Yeah, you should never stand on the temperamental redheads. Trowa: *eyebrow goes up* Pointless Pokemon reference #1. Teena: Yup! >white cloud Teena: Oh. Never mind, then. They're not gonna get their brains bashed in after all. >with Duo in his arms. Heero: *looks at his arms* He wouldn't fit. Treize: *frowns* IN your arms, not INSIDE your arms. You're holding him. Heero: *deadpan* Oh. Quatre: *giggles* That face means that he was kidding in the first place. He does have rudimentary grammar skills, Treize. Teena: Though you wouldn't know it, he goes 'Hn' so much. Duo: *shrugs and pulls out the Heero/English dictionary* Wanna borrow this? Teena: *hides the book* Duo! That's trademarked to another author! Do you wanna get me in trouble? Duo: *looks innocent* Gomen. >"This is why you shouldn't have come back." he told Duo. "It got you >killed." Teena: Ah, a little death. Duo: Nani? Teena: Well, he did say 'come' back... Duo: Aaarrggghh! >"We died together." Duo's eyes sparkled, Heaven's starlight reflected >within them. "Neither of us had to leave the other or be alone." Quatre: *sniffles* Trowa: What's wrong, little one? Quatre: Nothing. That's just so sweet... Teena: Yah. I'm glad I'm not diabetic. >Heero leaned forward to kiss Duo, but being unused to the cloud's lack of >any real surface, he toppled over and landed on top of the other angel. Treize: If it lacks any real surface, how are they standing on it? Duo: Who cares? I'm more interested in the fact that Heero's on top of me. Treize: Hentai. Duo: Proud of it! >Duo laughed and kissed Heero. Heero carefully stripped off Duo's heavenly >robes and his own and was about to enter Duo when the braided angel >vanished. Heero/Duo: Damn! Trowa: Angel, hmmm? Treize: I agree. That doesn't strike me as angelic behavior. Teena: *looking at the screen* Who cares? *yells* Oi, Duo, ditch the vanishing cream! Heero: *shoves Teena's braid in her mouth* He can't hear you, baka. Teena: Blech! *spits out her braid* >"What the?!" Trowa: *quoting* The; 1. indicating a particular person or thing, 2. marking a noun as being used generically, 3. used before an adjective to make it function as a plural noun. Quatre: *blinks* How did you know all that, Trowa? Trowa: *pulls out a copy of the Winner Dictionary* Teena: Gah! You guys are determined to get me lynched by angry fic writers! Give me that! *snatches the dictionary and hides it* Gomen, Trio! >Another angel walked up. "Don't worry. He's not in any trouble. He was >just reincarnated, that's all." Zechs: Death's a bitch... then you get reincarnated. Teena: You've been reading my books again, haven't you?! >"Nice timing." Heero grumbled. "So, who's he gonna be? A future leader... >or rock star." All: Rock star! >"Future?" the angel asked. "Oh, future. Not all reincarnations are sent >into today's children. Some are sent into the future you speak of, others >are sent into what you call the past." Zechs: What WE call the past? What do you call it? Treize: *as angel* The tsap. Quatre: Is there any relation to the tsar? Treize: *as angel* This is heaven, not Russia. Teena: I can see how you confused the two. I mean, look at all the white! >"I don't understand." Heero sounded confused. Duo: Whoah. There's a first. Zechs: Yes, I've never heard Heero admit to not understanding before. Heero: *growls* Omae o korosu, Sephiroth. That's OOC. Teena: Right. Even when Heero doesn't understand, he understands. Heero: *smacks Teena* Teena: Itai! >"There is no linear time in Heaven." the angel explained. "Past, present, >and future are as one here." Quatre: Hold on, that doesn't make sense! If all times are one, then Duo would still be there from whenever the person he reincarnated as dies! Trowa: Little one, you really should give up on asking these fics to make sense. Teena: He's right. It's never gonna happen, Q. >"I want to see Duo." Heero finally said. "I want to know he's all right. >Show me!" Duo: I was dead! Anything is more alright than that! Teena: Ah, but you were dead TOGETHER. Obviously, dead together is better than alive apart. Duo: Hmmmmmm..... >"Very well." the angel lead Heero the edge of the cloud. Treize: Shouldn't that say 'TO the edge of the cloud'? Quatre: Yes, it should. *charitably* Maybe English isn't the writer's native language. Teena: That, or Seph was just careless with grammar. >"The reincarnation took place several years ago. A person who was not >meant to die died before their time because one of our enemies attacked >their family, disguising themselves as Federation leaders in order to >cause the war you've been fighting since you can remember. Duo: Woah. That was only two sentences? I'm impressed! Teena: An important thing to remember. Angels don't need to breathe. It makes for interesting speeches. Heero: Actually, this is a rather boring speech so far. Teena: Well, interesting form-wise, not content-wise. Heero: Aa. >This one person was too important to just write off, Trowa: The entire script would've been ruined. Treize: Ah, so the angel is William Shakespeare. Heero: The play's the thing. Teena: *hentai grin* The thing's for play. Heero: *smacks her* Not now. Wait until the fic's over. Teena: Itai! >so we did a reincarnation before the doctors even knew they were gone." Pilots: Doctors?! *group yell of horror* Teena: I think he means medical doctors, guys. Calm down. Pilots: *make an attempt to stop hyperventilating* Duo: Heh. Sorry. Pretty much an automatic reaction. Teena: S'okay. I understand. Those weirdos give me the creeps, too. >"Show me what happened to Duo." Heero: *as himself* I like movies. Quatre: *as Heero* Will it be anything like 'Sleeping Beauty'? Teena: *giggles* >"Which moment would you like to see?" All: A Kodak moment! *start laughing* >"Anything but his funeral." Heero replied. Teena: Yah! Funerals are depressing! Let's have an Irish wake! Zechs: None of us are Irish. Teena: *looks offended* I'm part Irish! I think... Anyway, we can throw an Irish wake if we want to! Trowa: Nobody has died. Teena: Oh... We could go kill somebody, then have a wake for them! Others: No! >"Then look..." the angel pointed at the shoreline where a solitary figure >stood upon the cliffside. Heero: I have a bad feeling about this... Duo: *nervously* There are lots of shores with cliffs in the world. It could be anybody. Quatre: *nervously* Duo's right. I'm sure lots of people stand on cliffs. It looks like a very nice place to take a walk and think. >"HEEEEEROOOOOOO!", Relena called out " I'M RIGHT OVER HERE, SO COME >AND KILL ME!" All: *scream* Heero: *faints* Duo: *latches onto Heero, whimpering* Teena: *holds her stomach* I will not puke, I will not puke... Quatre/Trowa: *shudder* Zechs: Duo is my SISTER?! Treize: *staring at the screen* You have my condolences, Milliardo. >-----Owari----- Teena: Arigato, Kami-sama! Let's get out of here, I think I'm gonna be sick! Duo, help me with him. Others(except Duo and Heero): *get up and leave* Duo: *nods, gets Heero's arms* Teena: *grabs Heero's legs* Teena/Duo: *carry the unconscious Heero out* Teena and Duo knelt over Heero, who was sprawled on the floor, unmoving and unconscious. Teena slapped him a few times, trying to wake him up, to no avail. "Ummm... Does anyone have any smelling salts?" "I do," Trowa replied, taking out the small bottle and tossing it to Duo. The braided boy quickly opened the lid and waved the bottle under his koi's nose. Heero groaned and reached up to shove the bottle away. "What...?" "You fainted, Heero," Quatre said, snuggling into Trowa's arms. "I don't blame you one bit, either. What a terrible ending..." "I don't faint," Heero said stiffly. "Well, you did today," Teena said, helping him to a sitting position. "How are you feeling?" Duo asked worriedly. "Okay... I think. Let me up." Teena and Duo each held one of Heero's arms, helping him to his feet. Once he had his balance, they both firmly latched onto him, shivering. "I told you this would be bad," Teena said, face screwed up into a grimace of distaste. "Kami-sama, what a horrible thought... Duo being Relena..." "Don't remind me," Duo groaned, tightening his grip on Heero. "I'm gonna be trying to forget that for a long time." Everyone nodded agreement, and Teena looked at her watch. "It's not late enough for me to deal with this. Besides, I'm certainly not up to putting food on my stomach after THAT. I say we go back to bed." "Not necessarily back to sleep, though," Duo murmered. "I think I'd have nightmares." Teena nodded, as did Heero. The three ran upstairs, followed by Quatre and Trowa, then Treize and Zechs. The latter two seemed least affected by the fic, but seemed perfectly willing to return to the privacy of their bedroom. Three doors slammed, one after another, then semi-quiet reigned in the building. Semi-quiet. "Jesus Christ, Heero, where did you learn THAT?!" ~owari~ Teena: *grins* Everyone now gets to have the fun of guessing whether that last line was me or Duo. Duo: *grins* And we're not telling. Teena: Hope you liked it. Let me know.