Teena: You're still reading? Yatta! Sugoi! I'm so glad you like this fic enough to come back! *throws pocky and chibi G-boys* Heero: *grins* Get a grip, Teena-koi. You're making a mess. Teena: *stares at him**growls* I TOLD you not to enter this fic, Heero! *slaps him* Snap out of it! Heero: Itai! Duo: *grabs Teena's wrist* Stop it. Now. Teena: *glares at both of them**curses fluently in several languages* I can't believe you two! If I tell you not to do something, you can't wait to go and do it anyway! *shoves them into a personality re-structuring machine and activates it* ::machine beeps, clicks, and whirrs, then makes a ding noise like a toaster oven:: Teena: Stick a fork in them, they're done. *lets them out of the machine* Duo: *bounces out of the machine and glomps Teena* Arigatou, Teena-koi! Being Heero-ish is SUCH a drag! Heero: *likewise bounces out* You're telling me! I'm no fun at all sometimes. Teena/Duo: *stare at Heero, incredulous and horrified* Heero: *smirks* Gotcha. Teena/Duo: KISAMA! Changed Minds Part 3: Poor Wufei... The girl floating over the cabin waited impatiently for everyone to go to sleep. Finally, in the dead of night, she giggled and snapped her fingers, then sat back to wait impatiently for morning. It was the SUSPENSE that killed her. Everyone was woken up by a loud scream. A moment or two later, another, different, scream echoed through the house. Heero and Duo exchanged glances. Duo smirked, and Heero stifled the urge to snicker. The two got out of bed, then went out into the hall. Duo wandered over and knocked on Sally's door. "Oi, Wu, you decent?" "Don't start with me, Maxwell! This is NOT amusing!" Sall... er, Wufei, flung open the door and stomped out, in nothing but her underwear. It was, unfortunately, this exact moment that Trowa and Quatre peeked out into the hall. Trowa's aqua blue eyes widened for an instant, then shut tight. Quatre put a hand on Trowa's shoulder sympathetically as he averted his own eyes. Wufei started ranting about the injustice of being put into a female body, and Duo rolled his eyes. Typical. Out of the corner of his eye, Duo noticed that Heero seemed to be trembling. He turned his head to look directly at the other boy, and realized what was really going on. Heero was shaking with suppressed laughter. "Heero no baka," Duo muttered, then walked over to take Wufei firmly by the arm, steering her back into Sally's room. "Shut up and get dressed, Wufei. Like it or not, you're a woman now, and a woman can not go around in a house full of guys in nothing but her underwear. Get some clothes on, then we'll talk about this." Duo pushed Wufei into the room, and closed the door, ignoring her very angry yell. He turned around to confront three amazed stares. "Nani?" "Duo, were you listening to yourself? You're starting to sound like me. Did you notice what you called me?" "Anou... no. Why?" "It's starting to get to you, too. 'Heero no baka.' That's what you said. Then you proceeded to tell Wufei to, and I quote, 'Shut up and get dressed.' About time, if you ask me. It's not fair for me to be the only one having a real problem with it." Trowa blinked at Heero, lifting an eyebrow. "Heero, calm down. The more you let Duo's personality take over, the worse it'll get." Quatre nodded in agreement, then winced as Wufei's door opened. "Look out, guys... Uh, good morning, Sally." The now male doctor gave Quatre a dirty look. "I would NOT call this a good morning." "Leave him alone," Duo replied. "You aren't going through anything we haven't gone through." "Aside from the sex change," Heero interjected. "Alright, aside from the sex change," Duo conceded. "At least you didn't have to deal with the weirdness of your own body holding a gun on you." "There's another weirdness we've dealt with that Sally hasn't, but that's private." Heero added, smirking. "HEERO!" Duo, Trowa, and Quatre yelped in unison. The latter two were bright red. Sally watched them, with NO idea what the whole exchange was about. Trowa sighed quietly. "I think we should head downstairs and wait for Wufei. Also, would everyone PLEASE try to hang onto their own personalities?" Heero snorted. "You're one to talk, Trowa. Never mind, let's just go." Sally rubbed his temples, fighting back a headache. If this was what Wufei dealt with every day, no wonder the Chinese pilot was always grumpy. Somewhere between five and ten minutes later, Wufei joined them down in the kitchen. She was fully dressed and scowling darkly. Sitting down, she shot a glare at Duo, who shrugged. "You were getting hysterical, and you were embarrassing Quatre and Trowa." Wufei snorted, in a most unladylike fashion, and looked around at her five companions. "This is intolerable! I should not have to suffer such indignities! I want my own body back, right away!" Quatre looked at Wufei sympathetically. "I'm sorry, but all we can do for now is wait. We don't know how to reverse this." "INJUSTICE!" "Oh, pipe down," Sally snapped irritably. "Onna...no, wait, I'M the onna! Now what do I... KISAMA!!" Heero gave Wufei an evil smile. "Now, now, ojousan, calm down. Frowning causes wrinkles, you know." "HEERO!!" Everyone yelled in unison, glaring at him. Heero winced, then slumped in his seat and rubbed his forehead. "Gomen nasai. It's gotten a lot worse overnight. It's gotten worse for you guys, too, in case you haven't noticed." Trowa sighed quietly. "We've noticed, believe me. Unfortunately, there seems to be nothing we can do about this. Heero, please try to control yourself." Everyone blinked. Duo voiced the common thought. "Okay, that really sounded weird. This is officially one messed-up situation." "It took you this long to realize that?" Wufei commented acidly, "What amazing deductive powers." Eyebrows went up. Sally winced. "Anou... did I forget to mention that it's that time of month for me in a few days?" Quatre paled, and, with a mounting sense of horror, spoke. "PMS?" Sally nodded. Quatre whimpered. The poor boy grew up with 29 sisters, he knew ALL about PMS. Trowa winced. He had Catherine, he knew enough about PMS. Heero and Duo exchanged confused looks. They hadn't really been that close to many women. They knew close to nothing about PMS. "Wufei with PMS. That's a... rather horrifying thought, actually," Trowa said. "Why," Wufei asked angrily, "is everyone talking about me like I'm not here?" "Oh, you're still here?" Heero and Duo said in unison. Heero winced. "He IS getting bad. How long has this been going on?" Sally asked. "We first switched a couple of days ago. It's hard to pinpoint when the personality trouble started, since it wasn't obvious at first," Duo replied. "I don't care about the personality trouble, what about our bodies? What if a mission comes in? I can't pilot Nataku like THIS!" "Wufei, none of us can pilot in our current condition. Getting upset will do nothing to resolve the situation. We're doing everything we can, so please calm down," Trowa soothed. Everyone else looked at him. Duo's eyebrows went up. "He's getting worse, too." "We're all getting worse, Duo," Quatre stated quietly. "The problem here is our lack of information. We have no idea what is causing these switches, so we have no idea how to reverse them. Our first priority should be information gathering." "I think we all KNOW that, Trowa. Now, why don't you tell us HOW to gather information about this? It's not like we have huge resources at our disposal. I mean, look around, we're in a CABIN in the middle of the WOODS! We don't exactly have access to sophisticated research equipment," Heero commented. "This is absurd! This so-called discussion is not getting us anywhere. I am going to go worship Nataku. When you actually have a plan of action, come get me!" With that, Wufei stalked out in a huff. Five pairs of eyes watched her go, and Heero let out a long, low whistle. "Wufei's awfully cranky. Even for her. Wonder why?" Sally, Quatre, and Trowa sighed in unison. Sally answered, "PMS. Trust me, you don't want to know." "Wufei's got a point, though, this isn't getting us anywhere. I suggest we just leave it alone for now, the scientists are working on it. Oh, and Heero, stop calling Wufei her. It'll upset him," Duo said firmly. "But Wufei IS a her right now! 'Sides, since when did you want to avoid upsetting Wufei?" "Anou... that's a good point. Trade, Heero. You call Wufei him, and I'll call Wufei her, after all, we're trying to stay ourselves." "Like I said, Wufei IS a her right now. I think we should all refer to her that way. It'll cause less confusion. That's not important though. Oi, is anyone else hungry? We haven't had breakfast yet." There were assorted noises of agreement, so Trowa and Sally started to cook, while the others vacated the kitchen. Quatre wavered a little bit, then blinked and followed Heero and Duo out. A short time later, breakfast was ready. Trowa brought it out as Sally walked into the living room to get the others. "Breakfast time, boys." Heero jumped to his feet. "About time, I'm starving. Let's go eat." "Anou... what about Wufei? She'll want to eat, too, right? One of us should go get her," Quatre suggested mildly. "I'll go!" Heero's eyes lit with an evil gleam. "Oh, no, you won't, Heero. You'll stay right here. I'm sure Duo doesn't want his body getting scratched up in the woods while YOU'RE running away from Wufei. I'll go," Sally replied immediately. Heero started to pout, then pulled his face into a calm expression. He shrugged, and walked into the dining room. The other two followed him, and Sally walked out the front door to go find Wufei. "What was all the fuss about?" Trowa asked as the three boys filed in. "Sally's being a spoilsport," Heero replied casually. "He wouldn't let Heero go get Wufei. I wouldn't have, either. Neither of them would've been back in time for breakfast," Duo elaborated. He sat down at the table, along with the others, and put some food on his plate. "Shouldn't we wait for Sally and Wufei to get here?" Trowa asked. "No," came the joint response. Trowa blinked, then shrugged and served himself. Everyone looked up a few minutes later, as Sally walked in, dragging a loudly protesting Wufei. "Kisama! Release me! I told you, I'm not hungry! Take your hands off of me!" "That's my body, and you're going to take proper care of it, whether you want to or not! Now sit down, shut up, and eat!" Wufei sat, grumbling about insensitivity and arrogance. Everyone at the table sweatdropped and stared at her. "Anou..." Heero said. "Is it me, or is she changing faster than we did?" "PMS is an irresistable force," Sally commented. "Wufei is a somewhat less than immovable object." Trowa and Quatre nodded agreement. Trowa pushed some of the food over to where Wufei could reach it easily, then resumed eating. Wufei glared at Heero as she put some food on her plate. "Do not call me 'she', Heero. I am a man trapped in a woman's body, and I wish to be treated and referred to as male." "That sounds familiar. I think it usually immediately preceeds sex-change surgery," Heero said wickedly. "HEERO!!" Everyone yelled, yet again. Instead of wincing this time, though, Heero just stared back at them defiantly. "I'm sick and tired of all this 'Hold on to your personality' crap! This is just a result of being stuck in the wrong body. When we get our own bodies back, we'll revert to our base selves, so why get all worked up about it? Besides, I'm kinda enjoying being Duo. I've never had this much fun in my life! If you guys wanna get high blood pressure trying to hold on to who you were, that's fine for you, but I'm gonna relax and enjoy the break! I'm done eating, so I'm going out for a walk. Ja ne!" Heero tossed them a salute, then strolled out the door, leaving his five companions staring after him in disbelief. Wufei broke the silence. "That's it, then. He's cracked. He's finally lost his mind." "Actually," Duo said thoughtfully. "I think he may have a point. The personality problem IS just a side effect of the body switch, so it's more than likely that we WILL revert back to our old selves when we get our own bodies back." "What if Heero gets too settled in, though? He may decide to deliberately change after he's himself again. Can we really deal with this Heero on a daily basis?" Trowa asked worriedly. "NO!" Everyone else chorused. "It's hard to believe, but he's actually worse than Duo!" Wufei exclaimed. "He's worse than me on my worst day! At least I have some sense of self- preservation! I wouldn't have made that sex-change crack." Quatre nodded. "I hope something happens soon, or someone is going to throttle him. Probably Wufei." Wufei scowled and nodded emphatic agreement. The five finished eating quietly, and split up, going their own ways for the rest of the day. They all felt they needed to think about what Heero had said. Maybe they SHOULD just relax until they could get their bodies straightened out. Up in the air, the girl snickered. Quatre's hope was about to become reality. He might not be too happy with the outcome, though. After all those in the house fell asleep, she made a gun shape with her hand, and jerked it several times, as if she were firing off shots. When she was done, the girl grinned and pretended to blow smoke off her finger. Ninmu kanryou. In the morning, Heero was the first one to wake up. He sat up, rubbing his eyes blearily, then noticed something. Rather, he noticed the absence of something. Over the past few days, he had grown accustomed to the weight of Duo's braid. Now, that weight was gone. Heero reached back quickly and pulled some of his hair around to look at. It was blond. "Oh, no," Heero groaned quietly. The person next to him stirred. Unknown to Heero, as yet, all the others were waking up, too. Whoever was in Trowa's body sat up, yawned, noticed the bang, and yelped. Heero suddenly doubled over as he felt the shock and upset radiating from just about everyone in the house, as they all realized what had happened. "Ungh, how does Quatre deal with this?" The other person in the room noticed his distress, and rolled across the bed to support him. "You okay?" "I will be," Heero said grimly. He then took a deep breath and yelled, in a voice that carried through the whole house. "DAMMIT, ALL OF YOU, GET A GRIP BEFORE I KEEL OVER!" He smirked as he felt what amounted to a collective blink, then everyone started making an effort to calm down. Standing up, Heero offered a hand to his companion. "We should go down to the kitchen. We need to get things sorted out." The other boy nodded and took his hand, climbing to his feet. "Let's go. How long do you think it'll take the others to get down there?" Heero shrugged as he headed for the door. "Who knows? I guess it depends on how urgent they think this is." "In other words, they'll be down there before us." "Probably," Heero replied, grinning. The two reached the kitchen a couple seconds after the guys, the lone female got there a few minutes later, scowling blackly. They all sat down. Heero spoke first. "Okay, who's who? I'm Heero." The one who'd come down with Heero grinned. "Duo here." "Trowa," said the braided pilot simply. "I'm Quatre," the Chinese pilot said, looking worried. "Sally. I suppose I get to see how your body works from the inside instead of the outside this time, Heero." The last person, who, by process of elimination, must be Wufei, scowled more deeply. "So everyone gets a new body but me. This is the foulest injustice!" This remark prompted a mass rolling of eyes. Heero felt the amusement and disbelief everyone felt, the usual response to Wufei's remarks. He turned to look at Quatre, tilting his head. "Quatre, how do you put up with this? I'm feeling everyone else's emotions, and it's distracting as hell!" Quatre laughed, shaking his head. "Practice, Heero. Pure and simple. I suggest you just concentrate on ignoring it." "Heero, just how strong ARE you?" Sally asked, looking himself over. "Very," Heero and Duo answered in unison, both smiling. "When did this become question and answer time?" Trowa asked, one eyebrow lifted quizzically. "Does it matter?" Heero countered quickly. "Probably not," Trowa answered with a shrug. "Just wondering." "Oh, man! I just realized something. Our bodies are now totally and completely mixed up. You know what this means, Heero?" Duo asked. Heero smacked his forehead, groaning. "No sex! Great, not only are we in the wrong bodies, we're celibate! I shouldn't have gotten out of bed this morning." Heero, Duo, Trowa, and Quatre all let their heads fall to the table. Sally and Wufei stared at them and sweatdropped. It was going to be a long day. ~owari Part 3~ Teena: *is laughing her head off* So Wu's a girl, so sue me. STILL a girl. I just love the idea of Heero dealing with Quatre's uchuu no kokoro. I'm such an evil girl. Duo: *is laughing HIS head off* Ojousan! Wu-ojousan! Absolutely priceless! Heero, shame on you! Heero: *frowns* Hn. Bakas. I'm surrounded by bakas. Teena: *grins* But you love us anyway, don't you, Hee-koi? Heero: *ignores her* You're being forgetful, Teena. The lines from 'INJUSTICE!' to 'KISAMA!!' were taken from Cutter's response to the idea of Wufei as a girl on GWML. Teena: Yah. I snitched. She said she didn't mind as long as I gave her credit.