Hi, I'm TeenMisty, your author for this fanfic. This is pretty much an AAMRN, from Ash's POV. There is minor violence with TR, beyond the usual, I mean. Comments are welcome, flames will be either ignored or get the mallet. My e-mail address is mistanpha@yahoo.com This is my first completed fic. You have no idea how many uncompleted ones I have. Disclaimer: I don't own Pokemon. Don't sue me, I have a great big mallet. And that's about all I have. Secret Thoughts Darkness. Peace. Quiet. Then pain. A low moan escapes my lips. A moment later I open my eyes. There's a girl bending over me. She looks worried. Who is it? I remember now. "Misty?"I say. Her face lights up. "Ash, you're awake!" she says. "We were so worried about you." We? She's the only one here. Then I realize, she must mean Brock and Pikachu. They're probably waiting outside. I wonder why Misty is the one who stayed with me. I'm not complaining. She's so beautiful. I look at her. Red hair tied up in a spiky ponytail. Sea-green eyes that I always thought were appropriate. She is a water Pokemon trainer, after all. Far and away the best sight in the world to wake up to. Not that I would ever tell her that, of course. As far as she's concerned, I'm just a friend. Maybe even less than that. Bike-wrecking Pokemon Master wanna-be from Pallet. I watch Misty as she gets up and starts heading for the door. Is she leaving now? It looks like it. She reaches the door and opens it, looking down. After a second, she closes it again. I wonder why. Is she leaving or isn't she? Apparently not. She starts back toward the bed. I wonder again why she did that. A moment later I find out, the hard way. A weight hits my chest. It's Pikachu, of course. She was letting him in. I should have expected that. But then, nobody ever called me Mr. Quick-on-the-Uptake. A lot of people think I'm dumb. I'm not, I just don't think about things. I'm pretty impulsive. It doesn't really matter. "Hey, Pikachu. How ya doing?" I ask him. I've always thought of Pikachu as male. Again, it doesn't really matter. "Pikachu chu pika." Translation? "Better than you." Smart-mouth Pokemon. I don't mind. I know he's probably been pacing outside ever since I was wheeled in, frustrated that he couldn't be with me. "Don't worry, pal. I'll be outta here in no time. You'll see."I tell him. A breeze ruffles my hair. Wait a sec, my hair? "Where's my cap?!" Misty rolls her eyes at me as she gets up. When she comes back, she's holding my cap. I take it. This cap is important to me. In a way, it symbolizes my dream. I look at the Pokemon League symbol on the front. "You can't wear it. There's a bandage on your head." Misty says. "Duh. Like I can't tell there's a bandage on my head." I look at her witheringly. She remains unwithered. I'm not surprised. It's hard to be intimidating when you're wearing a hospital gown with a bandage on your head. The fact that she's standing up and I'm laying down doesn't help, either. I drop my cap on Pikachu's head. "There. You wear it for me." Pikachu pushes the cap back on his head. It's a little big for him, it was over his eyes. He grins at me, then does my pose. Cute. Sometimes I wonder how something so cute can be so strong. Not very often, of course. And not out loud. It can be hard to tell what Pikachu will consider an insult. I get shocked enough without provoking him. I glance over at Misty. I see her brush away a tear as she watches us. I quickly face front, but Pikachu noticed my momentary lapse. He smirks at me. I resist the urge to flick his ear or something. I don't feel up to being electrocuted right now. I settle for glaring at him warningly. I take my cap off him, and rest it on top of my head. I don't feel right without it. I'm not actually wearing it, but it's close enough. Misty taps me on the arm. I look over at her. "I'm going to go tell Brock and the doctor that you're awake. I won't be gone long." I nod at her. She doesn't realize I'm watching her as she heads out the door. Pikachu notices, but that's normal. I can never hide anything from him. I give him a look. "Not a word." I tell him. "Chu pika pikachu pika pika, pikapi?" I know what he's saying, of course. I've been able to understand him for a while. "Why don't you tell her you like her, Ash?" I glare at him. "I don't like her, nosy. Why don't you mind your own business?"I say to him. Lying through my teeth, naturally. It's true in a way, though. I don't like her. I love her. I can't tell Pikachu that, though. Little electric mouse has matchmaker instincts. Shocking. Stupid joke, but I chuckle inwardly anyway. If he found out how I feel about Misty, he'd be doing his best to get us together. Sometimes my Pokemon acts like my mother or something. I know he just wants me to be happy, but he tends to go a little too far. I see the door open. Misty comes in first, then Brock, then the doctor. Figures. Brock looks normal. Weird. Was he actually waiting out there instead of gawking at the nurses? They MUST have been worried. "Hey, Brocko. Been girl-watching without me? How's Nurse Joy?"I tease. My head hurts, but if I told them that, I'd get fussed over. I hate being fussed over. Besides, Brock's a mother hen. Brock looks relieved. Funny, usually when someone mentions Nurse Joy he goes nuts. Hormones on overdrive. But he just looks relieved. "I'm glad you're okay, Ash. Misty and Pikachu were going crazy waiting for you to wake up." He smiles a little. Misty freaks, yelling that she wasn't going crazy and she wasn't waiting for me to wake up. Brock likes to take digs at her whenever she shows concern for me. He's always hinting that we make a cute couple. Does he know something I don't? I shrug off the thought as the doctor examines me. He tells Misty that this is a sickroom, and if she can't speak quietly, she'll have to leave. She shuts up. An extremely rare occurence. I don't say that, of course. My head hurts enough as it is. Wish I knew where she gets those mallets. I look over at Brock. Ouch. He looks like another patient for the doctor. Oh, well, he's used to it. The doctor finishes his examination. "Well, Mr. Ketchum, you seem much better. We'll keep you here another day or two, then you should be well enough to release. You're a lucky young man." I've always been lucky. Probably luckier than I deserve. "That reminds me, what happened? Last I remember, we were getting ready to fight Team Rocket. And how long was I out, guys?" It can't have been long. Nothing keeps me down for very long. I watch as all three exchange a glance. They look serious. Finally, Misty speaks up."Ash...you were out for a week." "WHAT?!" I yelp involuntarily. I look at Pikachu for confirmation. He nods, looking somber. "Chu pika pikachu pika, pikapi." I translate it automatically, kind of in shock. "We were scared for you, Ash." "A week."I murmur distractedly. Then I snap myself out of it. "Well, I'm awake now, that's what matters. Okay, now tell me what happened. Did you take care of Team Rocket?" Misty gave Pikachu an odd look. "You could say that. Pikachu was really ticked off about what they did to you, so...well, let's just say they blasted off a little more roughly than usual." I wince. Considering the way they usually blast off..."Ouch. Hey, what DID they do to me anyway? It had to be nasty, to keep me out for a week." Another three-way glance. This time the doctor broke the silence. "When they brought you in, you were suffering from an Arbok bite. Arbok poison is extremely dangerous to humans. The head injury was minor compared to that." My eyes narrow. "Arbok bite. Jessie. When I get my hands on her..."I growl angrily. I've lost a week on my journey, thanks to those losers. Now Gary's even further ahead of me! Then the time loss really hits me. "Aaaarrrgghhh. Come on, sign me out! I've lost a week's time, I need to get moving! Brock, where's the next Gym?" Everyone around me sweatdrops. The doctor recovers first and says"I believe I already told you that I'm keeping you here for at least another day. Arbok poison is nothing to play around with, young man." I start bouncing up and down on my bed. "I can't stay here another day! Gary's already had a whole WEEK to get further ahead! I have to get moving! Misty, where's the rest of my clothes?" I suddenly realize who I just asked what. Aaarrrghhhh! I blush. "Uuuh, I only asked you that because you knew where my cap was. I REALLY didn't mean it the way it sounded!" Pikachu's smirking at me again. "Pikachu kachu." Ack! "Freudian slip." I can't believe he said that! I give him a 'shut up' look. Brock is grinning at me, but Misty looks embarrassed. The doctor is a very understanding man, he just ignores the whole thing and leaves. Before he walks out the door, he looks at me and says, "I'll tell the nurse you can leave if you want to, but I wouldn't recommend it." Now I'm alone with my friends. Misty whispers to Brock, who walks off. A moment later, he comes back with my clothes. "I think you should listen to the doctor, but I know we can't stop you. We'll be out in the waiting room." Misty and Brock walk out. I'm alone with Pikachu. As I get out of bed, I hear a noise at the window. When I look over, I see a shadowed form disappear. I walk over to the window, eyes narrowed. I see something on the outside sill. I open the window, reach out, and pick up a red rose and a note. The note has only one word on it. 'Sorry.' I know who it's from. They must have been waiting for me to wake up. They'll be gone by now. No big deal. I understand. I walk back over to where my clothes are waiting for me, and lay the note and the rose on the table by the bed. I pick up my jeans and put them on. As I'm buckling my belt, my head suddenly gives a sharp throb, and I collapse. I see Pikachu rush to the door, then my eyes close. I start to remember. *FLASHBACK* Lost again. Terrific. Misty's ragging me about it. Figures. I keep trying to tell her it's not my fault, but she won't listen. She's beautiful when she's angry. Of course, she's always beautiful. I'm never going to say that to her, though. I wouldn't dare. Back and forth, we argue about why we're lost. I don't pay attention. I don't even remember what I'm saying to her. It's routine. We have this argument about once a month. I wish something would happen to stop the argument. "Prepare for trouble!" Lord, thank you. This is one of the rare times I'm happy to see Team Rocket. I stand there quietly while they finish their motto. I could probably recite it myself, I've heard it so much. I wait for Jessie to make their usual demand, then I make my usual response. "I'll never give you Pikachu!" Jessie and James send out their Pokemon. Just like always. "Ok, Pikachu, go. Use your Thundershock!" Misty calls out Starmie, and Brock sends Geodude. I figure it isn't necessary. Pikachu and I have this all wrapped up. Pikachu's Thundershock hits Team Rocket. Blast, it missed Arbok! Great, just great. Arbok looks mad. It's probably upset about Jessie getting shocked. All of a sudden, I see it launch itself at Pikachu! "NO! Pikachu!" I throw myself in between Arbok and Pikachu. Arbok looks shocked, but it can't stop in time. Arbok hits my arm, and its jaws snap shut. It hurts. Off to the side, Jessie's gotten up. She has a frightened look on her face. I know why. Hurting people really isn't their style. For one thing, they know full well that assault will get them a lot more time than Pokemon theft if they get caught. Arbok lets go of my arm, and slithers quickly over to Jessie. It looks upset. It didn't intend to bite me, it was after Pikachu. My arm throbs. I can feel the poison creeping into my system. I start to fall, and everything goes black. *END FLASHBACK* I open my eyes again, returned to the here and now. Misty, Brock, and the doctor are all standing over me. Sigh. Pikachu must have gone to get them. I sit up, waving off Brock as he moves to help me. "I'm fine, guys. I remember what happened now. I guess the returning memory was a shock to my system or something." I stand up, holding onto the bed for support. My balance comes back fairly fast. I let go of the bed, and pick up my black T-shirt. "Okay, can I be left alone to finish dressing now? Or are you four going to hover over me for the next half an hour?" Misty looks offended, and storms out. Brock follows, shaking his head. He knows as well as I do that Misty's going to be impossible for a while. She always is when I upset her. I wave the doctor off, indicating that I feel fine, and he leaves. Soon only Pikachu and I are left in the room. I pull my shirt on. As my head emerges, I look at Pikachu. "Mother hen. Did you have to go get them? Now Brock's gonna be fussing over me for days, making sure I don't have a relapse or something." "Pika, kachu pi, chu pika pikachu ka pika," Pikachu replies in a huffy tone. "Well, excuse me, but you don't collapse every day." Touchy, touchy. "Ah, you know I'm just frustrated. A whole week! Hey, Pikachu, what'd I do with my jacket?" I notice Pikachu roll his eyes as he runs over to get my jacket. I can never keep track of things. I take the jacket from him with a grateful smile and pull it on. I pull my fingerless gloves out of the pockets and put them on. I grab my cap off the bed and the note and rose from the table, then head for the door. Opening the door, I call out. "I'm dressed! Hey, Misty, Brock, do you guys have my Pokeballs?" I walk out into the hall. "Pikapi..." My name in Pikachu language. "What is it, Pikachu?" I look back, and see Pikachu dragging my sneakers. Ooops. I can feel my face go red with embarrassment. I go back and put my sneakers on, then head for the waiting room, Pikachu riding in my arms. He usually rides on my head, but we both know that's a bad idea just now. I see Brock and Misty sitting in the waiting room. They get up and walk over to me. "Do you guys..." Misty interrupts. She's so pushy. Oh, well, I love her anyway. "No, Ash, we left your Pokeballs with Nurse Joy. We'll have to stop at the Pokemon Center to pick them up." "Okay, let's get going. Oh, hey, can one of you take this bandage off me? I don't know where it fastens." I watch, fighting back a grin, as Misty and Brock exchange an exasperated look. I see that a lot. Brock goes around behind me and unfastens the bandage, peeling it off my head. I notice he rolled it up as he took it off. Neat freak. He always has been. As soon as the bandage is off, I put my cap on. Much better. Misty hands me my backpack. I feel a tug on my pants leg, looking down, I see it's Pikachu. I didn't even notice when he got down. "Pikachu?" he asks hopefully. Sigh. He's looking at me with those big brown eyes again. I melt, as usual. Digging through my backpack, I find the bottle of ketchup I keep there for him, and hand it down. "There. Now stop looking at me like that." He smirks and looks away, licking at his ketchup. I need more willpower. I can face up to any enemy, any battle, but I can't seem to tell Pikachu no when he looks at me like that. Little electric rodent does it on purpose, too. I shake my head, looking at the ceiling for patience. "Come on, eat your ketchup while you walk, we have to go pick up the others. Ready, guys?" I notice Misty and Brock are looking at me with pity on their faces. I know why. "Hmmph. He's never done it to you." I walk past them quickly, not giving them time to reply. Brock and I have had talks about this, it doesn't change anything. I know I shouldn't let Pikachu get away with that, but I can't help it. He's helped me out a lot of times, saved my life once or twice, and he's my best friend. He's also a sneaky, devious little manipulator with Machiavellian tendencies. I smile to myself. Wouldn't the others be surprised if they heard that thought. Sometimes I believe they think I've never seen the inside of a library. I look down at Pikachu as he walks next to me, slurping up his ketchup. Mother and child, all rolled into one. EVERY child is manipulative. When I was younger, I used my lack of a father and got everything I wanted from Mom. Oh, I was upset about it, but not as upset as I acted. Pikachu is the same way. When he wants something, he'll use every trick in the book, and a few that aren't, to get it. He doesn't usually have to go that far. I'm a softie. I know it, I admit it, just not to Brock or Misty. They tease me enough. I chuckle to myself. I know they think I actually NEED that Pokedex. I only use it to refresh my memory now. I see the Pokemon Center, just a block away now. I start walking faster, I bet my other Pokemon are wondering why they've been with Joy so long. Unless they know what happened to me, in which case they're wondering if I'm okay. At that thought, I speed up to a run. I hear Brock and Misty panting as they try to keep up. I look down and see Pikachu has given up on the ketchup in favor of speed. He knows he can't run fast enough on two feet. He has the bottle sort of slung on his back. The Pokemon Center doors are suddenly in front of me. I hurry through, but slow down to a fast walk as I approach the desk. "Nurse Joy, I'm here to pick up my Pokemon. My friends dropped them off." I point back at Misty and Brock, just entering. Joy smiles at me. "Your Pokemon are doing just fine, Ash. I'll go get them." She walks into the back room where they store the Pokeballs. Man, the Joys have one of the most incredible communications networks I've ever seen. What one knows, all know. Ever since the first ones, I've never encountered a Joy who didn't know my name. 'Cept that one in Gringy City, but she was weird for a Joy. My friends finally catch up to me, and Misty looks less than happy. "Ash, why did you start running like that? You left us in the dust! You're supposed to be taking it easy!" Oooh, yeah, she's unhappy. "Look, Misty, I realized that if my Pokemon know what happened to me, they're probably worried. I wanted to get here and let them know I'm okay as fast as possible. Before you say anything, even if they DON'T know, they're probably wondering why they've been here so long. I don't want them to think I've abandoned them." Misty looks surprised. She was probably expecting me to stutter and get defensive, like I usually do when we have an argument. The difference is, though, that in most of our arguments, I have no clear reason for whatever I did. This time I had a reason that I thought was valid, and I gave it to her. I notice Misty's mouth is kind of opening and closing, but nothing's coming out. "Hey, Misty, you look like a beached Magicarp or something." Oh, no. I didn't mean to say that. A moment later, I'm eating shoe. I guess she didn't hit me on the head with her mallet in deference to my injury. Still hurts, though. I hate being kicked. Geez, Martial Arts Misty. "I do not look like a Magicarp, Ash Ketchum! How dare you say that to me!" Why do I do this to myself? If I would just think before speaking, I'd get hit a lot less. Nurse Joy walks back in. I see she's holding my five Pokeballs. I can't tell that by looking at them, I just know Nurse Joy would never make a mistake like that. She holds them out, and I take them, fastening them to my belt. "Thanks, Nurse Joy. I appreciate you taking care of my Pokemon for me." "That's my job." I like the Joys. They're all such nice people. I hold out one arm, and Brock runs into it. "Don't start, we aren't staying here. Now that I have my Pokemon, we're leaving." I turn to look at him. Like I expected, he has his 'pretty girl face' on. He looks like an idiot. Misty walks up and grabs his ear, dragging him toward the door. I start off after them, turning back for a second to wave and say goodbye to Nurse Joy. Once we're outside, Misty lets go of Brock's ear. Every time we see a Nurse Joy or Officer Jenny, this happens. Brock goes nuts, and Misty usually winds up dragging him away by his ear. It's a wonder that ear's still there. "Can we get moving now? Where's the next Gym?" Brock thinks for a sec, then turns to Misty. "Saffron City, isn't it? Sabrina's Gym?" Misty nods agreement. "Great! Let's go! Ok, Pikachu, time to put up the ketchup." I notice he looks a little upset, no surprise there, but he hands over the bottle without argument. I put it away in my backpack. Pikachu yawns and climbs in, too. Guess he's tired. I put my pack on, then start off, moving quickly. *Time passes.* Aaaarrrghh! We're lost again! It is NOT my fault this time, Brock had the map. Misty doesn't seem to care about that, though. It's always my fault when we get lost. Why me? I argue with Misty about whose fault it is. I start thinking about other things, letting my mouth run on autopilot. I don't need to think to argue with Misty. It's practically ingrained. I wonder how long it'll be until we reach Saffron? I'm tired of wandering around in the forest. Tired of arguing with Misty. Tired of being LOST! Something snaps. "SHUT UP, MISTY! It's NOT my fault we're lost, so just leave me alone!" I move quickly to the front of the group, not bothering to wait for Misty's reply. It only would've been another insult, anyway. Well, more likely a complaint about being told to shut up. I don't care. This sort of stupid junk is exactly why I don't tell her how I feel. The only thing that could make this day worse would be for Team Rocket to show up. "Prepare for trouble!" Speak of the devil. I don't really feel like doing this right now. I interrupt their motto. "Look, I'm having a really bad day, can we do this later?" Jessie looks ticked. "Never interrupt the motto! And no, we can't do this later. Team Rocket does not schedule their attacks for when you feel like it!" I roll my eyes. "I'm not asking you to. I just want you to skip it for today." I pull a rose out of my pack. The same one they left a couple days ago. I start fiddling with it. "Besides, my arm hurts right now. I shouldn't push it by throwing Pokeballs." Jessie and James exchange a guilty look. Bulls-eye. I knew that would get to them. Okay, so I never really grew out of manipulating people. Maybe in a few years. James fidgets, then says,"Well, we don't really HAVE to attack right now. We could wait a day or two, right Jessie?" I watch Jessie glare at him, then her face falls. "Right. Come on, Meowth, we're leaving." Meowth looks a little irked, but he doesn't argue. I smile a little as they move out of sight, then put the rose away. I look over at my friends, grinning. "Can we move on to Saffron, now?" Pikachu is looking at me. He has an almost awed expression on his face. "Pika kachu," he says quietly. "You're good." Too true, too true. I wink at him, then look up at the other two. They're staring at me. "Problem?" I ask innocently. Brock closes his mouth. Did I mention he had been gaping? "How did you do that?" Then Misty sticks in her two cents. "And where did you get the rose?" I answer the easy question first. "I got the rose from them. They left it and a note on the windowsill in my hospital room." I just shrug at Brock. It's kind of hard to explain. I've always been better at it than most kids. Brock wouldn't know, he was forced to take over responsibliity early, and never got a chance to learn. "As for how... I can't really tell you. I've been doing it for years. Maybe Misty can explain." Brock's looking at me funny. Then he turns to look at Misty. "What's he talking about?" Misty looks embarrassed. Serves her right. "I never did it much. My sisters could get anything out of Mom, but she didn't like me as much as she did them. Eventually, I stopped trying." Brock is starting to look frustrated. "WOULD SOMEONE TELL ME WHAT YOU GUYS ARE TALKING ABOUT!?" I sigh a little and try to think of a way to explain. "Umm, well, let's see." I snap my fingers as I realize I DO have a way to explain. "Hey, you know how Pikachu gets me to do stuff for him? You know, the wide eyes, the little pathetic acts, all that?" I can tell Brock is trying to figure out where this is going. "Yeah. I keep telling you not to let him do that to you, but you don't listen." I am going to ignore that. "It's the same thing, really. Kids do it to their parents all the time. Misty did it, till she gave up. Well, tried to do it. I've always been really good at it. Now come on, we've gotta get to Saffron so I can get the next badge!" I start running along the path. Why do things keep happening to slow me down? I have to catch up to Gary! Team Rocket, the way we get lost all the time, the little adventures we run into along the way, all of it taking up time I don't have! Yeah, so I kinda enjoy the fun we have, but I have to focus if I want to be a Pokemon Master. Just not getting lost would help a lot. We spend about half our time between cities wandering around in forests! I suddenly realize that the others have fallen behind, and they're yelling for me to slow down. I stop running. I guess I got carried away. "Sorry, guys. I'm just sorta worried about the time I lost in the hospital," I yell to them. Misty catches up first. "Ash, you promised you weren't going to push yourself! Running like that is going to wear you out. You haven't recovered yet." Is she worried about me? Could she really care? I'm being ridiculous. She just doesn't want me to die before I pay her back for her dumb bike. " I feel fine. You're making a big deal out of nothing." Misty's glaring at me. "AN ARBOK BITE IS NOT NOTHING! What's going to happen if you push yourself too hard and collapse? We're lost! We have no idea where the nearest hospital is! You would die!" I wince, my face twisting with pain and bitterness. "What do you care? All you ever do is insult me and complain about your blasted bike! If I die, maybe you can collect the insurance and get yourself a new one!" I notice Misty doesn't look angry anymore. She looks shocked. Almost horrifed. I turn a way and head down the path. A moment later I feel a hand on my arm, then Misty spins me around to face her. "Ash, NOTHING is worth your life. I would rather never get my bike than get it that way. Ash, I DO care. I always have. I never want to hear you talk like that again. You matter more to me than anything else. I just could never think of a way to tell you." Shock. It's such a simple word for the way I feel. Total stupefaction comes closer. "Misty, you...?" She's looking at me with tears in her eyes. "I love you, Ash. I didn't say anything before because I was afraid. But I'm more afraid of losing you." I look at her, eyes wide. "Misty, I...I thought you hated me. I had no idea...Misty, I love you, too." She's smiling now, her eyes glistening with unshed tears. I lean forward, closing my eyes as my lips touch hers. I feel her arms circle me, and she pulls me closer. Time seems to stop. A moment later, an eternity later, I hear Brock cough politely. I pull back, my arms still around Misty. "What IS it, Brock?" He looks at me with one eyebrow up. "In case you two lovebirds have forgotten, we're still lost. And we DO have to get to Saffron. You can make out when we stop for the night." I glare at him, and beside me, I know Misty is doing the same. I reluctantly let go of her. Brock is right. I look down at the girl I love. "We'll have time. Our whole lives." She smiles at me. "Maybe even longer," she answers. I know that now that we're together, nothing will ever pull us apart. Author's note(or something): That's it. Fics finished. Feedback would be nice, just remember what I said about flames in the beginning. I'm working on about two other fics right now, both AAMRNs. I get the feeling I'll be writing alot of those. Bear with me, I'm sure sooner or later I'll figure out how to write something else. ^_^ Maybe I'll try a dark fic. Or a JAJRN. Hold on, picturing that. x_x Ow, my head hurts. Maybe not a JAJRN. Well, I'll think of something. I'll stop babbling now. Catch ya on the flip side. TeenMisty