*When Gillian woke, the room was dark. For a moment, she was unsure of where she was or how she got there. Instinctively, she checked for her weapon, but it was missing. Then, she felt Don lying beside her on the couch, and she what had happened came flooding back. The meeting at the church, the yelling, the anger, getting to meet D and being truly afraid for her own life and Don's. The fact that by now the entire Devereux family knew what had happened didn't help matters any. Like it or not, they were in this together. If she died, Don would go after D, who would undoubtedly tear him apart like a wet napkin. If Don died, Gillian didn't know what she would do, and she didn't want to think about it either. So, she just lay there in the dark, listening to his heartbeat.*

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*He stirred, and slowly woke moments after her. He looked around, blinking his eyes a few times letting them adjust. He knew where he was, but it took a few seconds to have the events of the night come rushing back, and he gave out a quiet groan. It was then he realized they simply slept on the couch, and that she was still here. Things were...fucked to put it midly. And he was now involved waist deep in whatever GIllian was, and until death.

He stirred and sat up quietly, trying not to wake her, not realizing she was awake. He ran his hands over his face and through his hair, trying to clear his mind. It was dark, so it was either just a short time later, or they slept for 24 hours. He figured it was the former of the two.*

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*She heard him groan. Either he was dreaming, or he was awake. When he sat up, she sat up as well. It was still dark enough that she couldn't see him very well. She wanted to apologize again for dragging him into this, but it would just be empty words. Nothing she could say or do would change the fact that the only way he was getting rid of her or vice versa was if one of them died. Instead, she reached for the bottle of scotch. *Morning, Don. I mean, I guess it's morning. It's still pretty dark outside. *Then, she took a drink of scotch before placing the bottle back on the table.*

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*He turned to her, silent as she grabbed the bottle. He only knew this from the sounds of the liquid sloshing around in the glass. Once she placed it down and spoke, he sighed a little*

Seems fitting. The darkness that is.

*It seemed like there was a cloud over the two of them. It didn't matter what he was, or what he would ever be. He was marked, only now he was just as marked as she was. This was more than marriage, this was like some twisted version of it.

The idea made him smirk grimly, as he reached to click on a lamp by the couch, flooding the room with unwelcome light. He squinted, and blinked several times.*

So what now?

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*She would have to agree that the darkness was fitting, both to the seriousness of their situation, as well as the state of their moods. When he turned on the light, she found herself blinking repetitively for several moment before she could leave her eyes open. When she looked at him again, he could see the guilt that she'd carry until they both died.*

I don't know. I can't say this has ever happened to me before. *She felt a lump forming in her throat. What was coming was going to be difficult, but it was important that he knew.*

Don, you've probably already figured this out, but I still am in love with you. If anything was going to come of what we once had, I wanted it to be because it was what we both wanted. What happened yesterday took that choice away from you, and for that I'm sorry. I meant what I said about not wanting to cause you any more pain. Unfortunately, that's one promise I'm going to be unable to keep. *She wanted to cry, but getting emotional was what got her into this mess. So, she just looked down at her hands.*

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*He leaned back against the couch, closing his eyes and crossing his arms as he listened to her speak. So he wasn't imagining her look in the cab, and the way she acted. She still loved him. Of course that complicated things, but then again, the whole situation was complicated beyond belief in the matter of a few hours.*

I won't lie to you, Gill *He opened his eyes, turning only his head to look at her* I was perfectly content walking out on you tonight like you walked out on me. Then you had to break down like I did, and I couldn't just leave you there.

*He sighed and turned his head away from her* And then I was simply going to talk to you, shake your hand, and let you be on your way. It's been an emotional roller coaster from the start, and as much as I probably needed it, I dunno if I -wanted- it.

*Of course he did. He still loved her too, but refused to let himself feel it. Why? What good would it do? Oh, yeah...since we're linked for life, I love you too. It sounded trite in his mind.*

But now things are different, and we're stuck with one another. Like it or not, and we now have to deal with our problems instead of run again. I dunno if I could love you again...like you do me. I want to....but...I just don't know, Gill.

*It was confusing as hell, all the conflicting thoughts and emotions. He just wished there was some sort of easy answer book he could look into to get the answers. As a priest you'd think having 'faith' would be enough.*

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*She listened to what he said, and wasn't surprised when he couldn't look her in the face. His reaction hurt her, and it was evident in her face, but he wasn't looking. She balled her hands into fists, digging her nails into her palms as she crossed her arms over her chest. She wanted to ask him what the point behind all that bravado was with D? How he would kill D if anything happened to her? She wanted, no needed, to know, but couldn't bring herself to ask. She had no right to make any demands of Don after she'd taken so much from him. The man who sat beside her was only a shell of the man she used to know, back when she was young and unweighed by the burden of her choices. She had done that to him, at least in part, and the thought turned her stomach.* I understand, Don. I wouldn't have expected you to say that you love me. *She could restrain them no longer, and tears began sliding down her pale cheeks. The real truth that she was unable to admit to him was she wasn't sure if she loved herself anymore.*

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*He turned to look at her and noticed the tears streaming down her face. He closed his eyes tightly and opened them again, sitting back up. He wrapped his arm around her, and just held her close to him. It was one roller coaster dip after another...the emotions were running high in the room.*

Look, Gill, there's no reason to cry, alright? What's done is done, and I...I -do- have feelings for you, but what we need to focus on right now is what's going to happen to us.

*He suddenly thought to D, and what he'd said to him a few hours ago. Sure he meant it, because it was no fair if Gill paid any price for merely being his friend. But what would D do about it? He tried not to think about it, but it was important.*

We need to figure out where we go from here, ok?

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*She wasn't expecting him to take her in her arms, and she also wasn't expecting it to feel so good. Over the course of a day, she'd turned from a cold-hearted killer into a blubbering baby, and she hated the feeling. But, that was the price she paid for keeping her emotions buried so long. Like a long dormant volcano, they exploded to the surface leaving chaos in their wake.* Go? *She managed to chuckle, weakly, her head still lying against his chest.* We're not going anywhere. The Devereux family owns New Orleans, but more and more outsiders keep showing up. It's only a matter of time before it turns into all-out war. *She'd known it was coming for some time now, but she'd been looking forward to it. Perhaps she did have a death wish. After the previous day's events, she was beginning to realize that she'd rather live.* That's why you need to start carrying a gun. That way you won't be defenseless, not that you ever were.

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*He nodded* I've got a few I can both carry on myself as well as put in strategic places within the church. I'll be fine in that regard. But an all out war... *He continued to hold her, breathing deeply as he sat there, resting his chin on her head, running his hand up and down her back. He was comforting her when he needed just as much as she did. But she needed it more than he did at the moment. He was used to taking care of himself, and this would be no different, just a little more intense.*

And...I meant where do -we- go from here? Personally...

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*It felt so nice to be here, to have him beside her again. Then, she realized she was just doing what she'd always done, which was take away from him without giving back nearly as much. As a result, she almost missed his comment about where would -they- would go. Upon hearing that, she sat up, and turned to face him.* You already know how I feel about that, Don. I'm perfectly willing to wait until you feel the same way. *She didn't say that neither of them might live much longer, even though they both knew that was the case. Instead, she put her arms around his neck and just hugged him. He'd been awfully brave on her behalf, and she just didn't have words to tell him how much she appreciated it.*

---------------------------------------------

I already -do- feel the same way, Gill. I just...it's too soon to dive right in. Or maybe it's not. I just don't know, honestly.

*He was confused. Probably because of the way he used to feel about her, and how much he enjoyed that sensation. He practically melted into the hug, and hugged her back just as tightly, burying his face in the crook of her neck instinctively*

Plus, I'm a priest, and well...you know what regulations I have with -that-.

*He chuckled softly. As confused and emotionally wrecked as he was at that moment, he still felt that the mood didn't have to be completely suffocating*

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*She just held him close, stroking his hair with one hand. He always liked that. She found herself laughing at Don's comment about the priesthood.* Yes, that's true, but you were the one to tell -me- that you weren't priest material. Of course, I knew it as soon as I saw you. If you were happy, though, that's all that was important to me. I just wanted you to be happy. *For what seemed like the hundredth time, she wondered what exactly had drawn her into the church. If there was a God, he was probably having a good laugh at this one, watching a sinner and a fraud getting what they deserved.*

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*He leaned back a bit, looking into her eyes, a hand come to cup her face, and a thumb ran gently over one of her cheeks. He smirked slightly and took in a breath, letting it out quickly*

Looks like we're stuck together for the long haul anyway...so we might as well deal with the emotional baggae and get that out of the way. I still love you, and I don't think I ever stopped. But I was also hurt a lot by you and I am only now realizing it wasn't even that bad. I projected my brother's death onto your leaving, causing it to blow out of poroportion.

*He sat there, a little surpised at himself. He basically said everything he didn't want to really admit. Either it was the fact they probably didn't have long for the world, given the night's events...or maybe he did want to love her again. Whatever the case, here he was putting it out there, 100%*

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*She leaned her face against his hand and smiled. She watched him as he told her everything that he'd been hiding from her. Now, it was her turn.*

Don, I wasn't entirely honest. I didn't leave because I wanted to be an assassin. It wasn't because killing people was in my blood. *It was taking every bit of her will to keep looking into his eyes as she spoke, and she covered the hand touching her face with her own.* I left because I was scared. I saw how losing Stephen changed you, and I couldn't help you. I wanted to help, but nothing worked. I was scared by how much I cared about you, and what would happen to me if anything happened to you. So, I left. *She exhaled harshly, and anger tinged her words.* Leaving didn't help, it just made things worse. I vowed I'd never let myself get close to anyone ever again, and I didn't. *She paused long enough to take a deep breath, exhale slowly, and breathe deeply again. She had started to shake again, almost imperceptibly, but this time there were no tears.*

Then, I saw you in the church, and it all just came flooding back. When we went to the parking lot behind the donut shop, I wanted you to hit me. I wasn't angry at you, I only hated myself for what I'd done to you.

*Her voice dropped to a whisper.* Ever since I left St. Louis, I've been trying to get killed because I hated myself. I've never been able to admit that until now.

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*He pulled her close to him again, hugging her tightly*

I had a feeling that was why you left, but Gill...I had no idea.

*He whispered his words and just held her. It seemed they both had made a lot of mistakes in life and now somehow ended up in New Orleans to try and fix them. Of course, it would take time...nothing was like the movies where everything was fixed and solved in the last thirty minutes. But he felt like a lot of weight had been taken off of him tonight, as he could only imagine she shared. But then an odd thought hit him*

Wait...after what D said...does this mean I work for the Devereux's like you do? Or what? *He was actually a little more anxious at that sudden realization. He had no desire to commit crimes for them, nor did he have an desire to be included. But then, he may never have a choice in that again.*

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*She just let him hold her, and it did feel like a great weight had been lifted from her shoulders. It would take time for things between them to be right again, and at this point, time was a luxury they may not have.*

I don't think you work for them, Don. That's not the impression I got from D, anyway. I think he was referring more to not doing anything stupid that would draw unnecessary attention like bragging. *She laughed, although the situation was not funny at all.*

I could have told him that wasn't the type of man you are. *She wasn't looking forward to running into D again, because she was sure he had some harsh words to tell her in regards to her behavior. She'd had about all the harsh reality she could handle for at least the rest of the day, maybe longer.*

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Good. *He felt slightly relieved at that notion. But then he was of little use to the family, and probably viewed as little more than a loose end for one of their hired killers. He hoped she had a little more sway within their family to prevent his being 'tied' up. He shook his head and pulled away from her, breathing in and out a few times deeply*

Well, what do you want to do then? It's not like I can simply drop being a priest, as that would probably raise too many questions from both the Devereux's and any enemies you've got who are looking for a perfect weakness.

*And that's what he was now. A weakness. When they should be focusing on their relationship and future, or lack thereof, together...he was more worried about being a liability and getting either of them killed. Wonderful.*

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She didn't know what to tell him, there wasn't an easy answer to his questions. In reality, there might not be an answer. In spite of the increased danger their relationship brought, she would -never- consider him a liability.* You're not a weakness, Don.

*She put her hand out and covered his closer one. She gave it a squeeze.* Besides, I don't think you want to do what I do, or do what any of us do for that matter. It's not the kind of person you are, Don.

*She moved closer, wrapping her arms around his neck, and hugging him agaian. She wasn't used to feeling this useless, and she hated the feeling.* I know you can't quit being a priest. I just don't know what to do now, either. We'll figure something out together, though, I promise.

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Yes, but I'll still -feel- like one.

*He finally got up from the couch and headed towards the kitchen. His throat was dry, and he needed something to loosen it up a bit that wasn't scotch.*

You want anything? *He pulled two glasses from a cupboard, not waiting for her response, and turned on the faucet and let it run to get the water cold. Wasteful, but he was never one to wait long for cold water, and there were no ice cubes made. He watched as the water flowed into the drain, and could only smirk and chukly dryly to himself at the parellel. Ah well...now was as good a time as any to talk about their relationship.*

So...ever date a priest before?

*He asked from the kitchen, smiling as he said it...the very thought of it amusing, and he was sure there was a joke somewhere about this. An assassain and a priest.*

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*And there it was, even after all these years, they'd fallen into an old pattern. He was in pain, and she couldn't help him. It wasn't what she wanted, but there wasn't a damn thing she could do about it now. Despite her inner turmoil, she still found herself smiling at his question.*

I told you I didn't date, Don, but no, I haven't dated a priest. I've heard some groups allow that, though. *She paused for a moment, then laughed.*

Ever date an assassin? If you have, tell me now. I know they hold grudges..

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*He shook his head, coming back out with two glasses of water, smirking. He handed her one and sat down next to her, drinking almost all of his at once. Damn he was thirsty.*

No, no assassins, OR little boys. *He made sure to really point that one out.* And yeah, i've heard of certain branches of the catholic church taking a more modern view of letting their Priests wed and whatnot.

*He shrugged and turned to her* After all this, we're -practically- married, so I dunno...does that count?

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*She took her glass, and drank half of it. Her mouth had been dry for some time. She looked into his eyes and sighed, her smile was sad.* It doesn't count to anyone but us, Don. No one else knows but you, me and the whole Devereux family. Besides, how on earth would we explain it? *She reached out to him, brushing his hair away from his eyes.* I probably shouldn't even be here. There's only one problem. *She smiled again, but it was still sad.* I can't bring myself to leave. Not after the fact that leaving you the first time was the biggest mistake I've ever made, and I made some big ones.

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Yeah, maybe you're right...

*He spoke quietly, reflecting on whats he has said, but smirked at the her saying she couldn't leave part. He didn't really feel like having her leave either. For what it was worth, despite what he'd said and felt he did truly enjoy her company and liked her being so close.

Of course, it could also be a direct result of his having no 'womanly' contact in over 5 years.*

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*She finished her water, and then looked at him and his little smirk. He'd always had such an odd sense of humor, but it had been one of the things that attracted her to him to begin with. It made her laugh, and she hugged him again.* Whatever happens, it's good to see you again, Don.

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Yeah...despite all the shit that's gone down tonight, it's actually been really good to see you too, Gill.

*He honestly meant that as he looked at her, and reached out and placed a hand on her leg, just above her knee, giving it a gentle and comforting squeeze*

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I can't help but wonder, Don, what would have happened if I hadn't gone in that church last night? Would you have been a miserable priest the rest of your life? Would I have stayed an assassin with a death wish? *She shrugged, the alternate possibilities would never be known now.*

It's funny. I should be exhausted, but I'm not. I think it's because I expect someone else to come crashing through that door. Nothing would really surprise me anymore, I'm afraid. I'm not sure if that's a good thing or a bad thing..*She let her voice trail off, and rested her head on his shoulder.*

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*He leaned back against the couch, with her head still resting on his shoulder. He brought a hand up to run through her hair as he though on the infinite possibilites.*

Honestly? Probably. Until they kicked me out for some reason or another, like the ARMY. *He chuckled a bit at the thought. All he did was cuss out and kick the ass of his commanding officer for being an asshole. He was a little more than drunk at the time, and instead of pressing charges, they decided to end his 'promising career'. It tore him up for a little while, but it wasn't that hard to get over.*

And I have to agree with you. Still kind of in a 'surreal' mood right now about all of this...

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*She'd known he'd been kicked out of the Army. He'd told her in one of their brief phone calls. Why wasn't really important. No matter what they tried to call it, she knew he'd behaved honorably and didn't deserve what he'd gotten. Of course, if he'd stayed enlisted, he wouldn't have ended up in New Orleans. Gillian found it ironic that he might have been safer in the military, and a chuckle escaped her lips.*

It was a good thing we got some sleep, though. I don't know about you but I was just so drained by the time D left, I didn't know what to do.

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*he let out a soft chuckle, instinctively moving to kiss the top of her head like he'd done hundreds of times before, when they were together.*

Yeah. That was definetly a draining experience. If that was one of your 'friends', I'd really hate to see what kinds of people you've made into enemies.

*After speaking he realized his face was still slightly buried in her hair, from the kiss, and he inhaled her scent. Slicght perfume and whatever shampoo she used mixed to make it smell like vanilla and jasmine. Some things never changed*

Still using the same shampoo?

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*She was surprised, but happy when he kissed her head. Not all old patterns between them were bad, it seemed.* Yeah, I know exactly what you mean. *She'd made quite a few pretty bad enemies.* Yep, I am using the same shampoo. You should know I'm just quick to change relationships. Shampoo is forever. *She chuckled, and leaned against him again.* I bet you still wear the same cologne.

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*He nodded, letting her know he did.* Not as much as I used to. For some reason in the past few years it has started to actually get an alergic reaction of of me, so I use it sparingly.

*She'd know he'd be a little broken up about that. One thing he strived for was good hygeine. As odd as that sounds. But still, it seems some things could never really change*

Yeah...relationships. Obviously I haven't had so much as a friendly kiss since we parted ways...what about yourself?

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Well, then. I'll have to help you find one that doesn't cause any problems. It's not like you stink or anything, Don, honest. *His question caught her by surprise. Relationships had never been anything she cultivated as an assassin, it just couldn't work. Not that it mattered anyway, since her heart wouldn't have been in it. She sat up, and tilted her head, looking him in the eyes.* Me neither, and I think we should fix that. *Without waiting for a response, she took his face in her hands and kissed him square on the lips.*

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*He wasn't expecting that. Maybe a little bit of awkward silence and explanations...more build up to the fateful moment...but there it was. She made the first move, and he was actually thankful for it. He at first was shocked, but quickly eased into the kiss, moving his arms around her and holding close as he deepened the embrace.

It brought back a flood of more emotions he'd long since forgotten about, and he broke away from the kiss to simply catch his breath*

That...was rather unexpected.

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*All she knew was that kissing Don felt right, and it was a relief to see that he was enjoying it as much as she did. Perhaps she would have to thank D after all. Without the impetus of his arrival, who knows how the night may have ended.* Yes, it was unexpected. That's why I just had to do it. If I'd thought about it, I'd lose my nerve. *She smiled again, and could feel herself starting to blush.*

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*He grinned at her, moving a hand up to cup her face again. He was surpised at how soft it felt to his touch. And as he looked at her it was almost as if no time had passed between them. She didn't even look a day older than when she left.*

Well, then I better not think about what I'm about to do either.

*Logic dictated he should not kiss her back, but it felt too damn good, and before his brain could stop his heart, he moved in for another kiss, holding her close. Confusion and logic seemed to take a vacation when he kissed her, and he could care less how much he'd been hurt by her at that moment.*

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*She kissed him back with renewed enthusiasm, wrapping her arms around his neck. Part of her knew this could only end in tragedy, but she wasn't listening to that part right now. She was listening to her heart, which was telling her to make the most of what she had now because nobody ever knew about tomorrow. The only difference was that she and Don were painfully aware of that fact while most others weren't.*