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Who is that swarthy bad man?
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Web Overlord's note: Due to the absence of Captain Ron and Tractor Trailer Taylor at Game 16, this game summary is brought to you by erstwhile centre-fielder Charlie Brown
With all of the rumours about contraction and free agent acquisitions in
the air, the 'Billies took to the field against the commissioner's team
- Liquid State - in a battle of the two worst teams in GSA softball. The
commissioner was given a first hand look at why the 'Billies have been
considered for contraction, starting the game with only 8 players, and
Invisible Isabelle. The 'Billies lineup filled out in the 2nd with the
late addition of The Hustler and Crothers... Invisible Isabelle was
benched.
Still agitated by last season's extra inning loss to the 'Billies (then
known as the Dynamechs) in the Beer Bowl, Liquid State came out with
guns a blazin'. As has become the norm, the 'Billies surrendered 4 runs
in the first inning, and followed it up with 2 fly-outs and a strike-out
(no fault of TTT this time) in the bottom half. No one seemed
particularly concerned, 'cuz afterall, we were playing Liquid State!
The 'Billies came to life in the bottom half of the 3rd. With two outs,
a rally started with consecutive hits by Charlie Brown, Bubba Gump and
Rusty, followed by a 4-bagger by The Witch Project (his first since
turning professional), knotting the game up at 4 going into the 4th.
With the first inning jitters out of the way, the 'Billies settled down
and played stellar defence, culminating with a textbook 6-4-3 double
play orchestrated by Bubba Gump, and the Cuban Hustler in the 5th - a
definite candidate for the highlite of the nite. However, the double
play was not enough to get the 'Billies out of the inning. A long fly
ball, sure to end the inning, was misplayed, proving once again that
sometimes the best of us couldn't catch a bus. Liquid State proceeded to
score 3 runs, leaving them trailing by only 3.
The 'Billies put the game away (or so they assumed) by scoring another 5
runs in the 8th, catapulting them passed their season average of 13
runs, to 17. In a last ditch effort, the State put on the pressure in
the 9th, causing the wheels to loosen up a little, scoring 3 more runs
before the 'Billies were able to shut them down, landing their 5th
victory of the season.
This was by far a night where the 'Billies shined as a team, rather than
a bunch of individuals. Every player contributed to the run scoring,
including yet another 'Billies call-up, Dr. Dan, sent by Captain Ron to
fill in in his unexplained absence. Other contributions were made by The
Witch Project, The BIG Unit, The Hustler, Crothers and the ever-present
Igor. Unfortunately, due to the inadequacy of the BIG Unit's pitching,
The Porn Lover was the only player to not score a run... seems they have
issues that extend beyond the ball field, as the rest of us didn't have
a problem hitting... The Porn Lover proved to be more successful against
the middle relief of Bubba Gump...
The top 3 in the order (Brown, Gump and Rusty) combined for a total of
10 runs, and flew out only twice! (both in the first inning) Speaking
of which, despite the implications of a certain Limerick, the 'Billies
committed what is believed to be a season low of only 9 fly outs! (not
even double digits)
As my first game summary, let me take this opportunity to select the
first ever 'Billies player of the game. Despite home runs hit by The
Witch Project, and Charlie Brown, the true hero of this game was the
returning Hustler. Fresh from his vacation in Cuba, the Hustler was a
double shy of hitting for the cycle, and had a stellar defensive game at
2nd base. The rumours around the ball field were that The Hustler was in
Cuba catching some rays and hangin' with The Wife, but apparently he was
taking part in an intense training regime with the 2004 Cuban National
Baseball Team. Whatever he was doing, it sure paid off...
Congratulations Hustler, you are the first recipient of the Hawaiian
Hillbillies Golden Lei*... (it should be noted that the Witch Project
had an equally impressive game in the field and at the plate - again
only a double shy of the cycle. So, for this game only, an honourary
Silver Lei* will be awarded to the Witch Project for a job well done)
As a side note, repeated negotiations to acquire Lauren from Liquid
State failed once again...
* the "Golden Lei" and "Silver Lei" are trademarks of the Hawaiian
Hillbillies and are purely fictitious. So please, do not ask for you
Leis, 'cuz they don't exist.
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