Not one often swayed by superstition this reporter looked out his window at four o’clock on game day. The sky was black, and the rumblings of thunder were all but overwhelming. Surely this was a sign from the baseball gods, but whatever could it mean?

With the Pheonix Cup looming like a dark thundercloud , the ‘Billies knew that this game was of one of importance. A springboard into the postseason, where this fresh young team believes it can do some damage. On the schedule tonight was CHAPPS the Dogg, the team they recently passed in the GSA standings in a desperate bid to avoid relegation to the B Division.

Without regulars Porn Lover, Charlie Brown and Triple T. Taylor (three ‘Billies players leading the team in GSA all star balloting) the double H’s took the field in the life sucking Hamiltonian Humidity.

Captain Ron, the team’s unquestioned leader in the clubhouse, showed once again why he’s earned the respect of those on his bench, and the applause of spectators around the league. Hours after going under the knife at what could only be described as an ill reputed house of dentistry Ron took to the field – against doctor’s orders – to lead his team in this all important late season duel.

Throughout the first half of the game the ‘Billies bats were reminiscent of the five minute thunderstorm that rocked the city mere hours before. The top of the first saw Bubba Gump drive what could be the first good pitch he’s had from the BIG UNIT deep into the forest in left field. Despite not clearing the Chain Link monster Gump made the long trek around the bases scoring not only himself but the Hustler as well. Twice the ‘Billies neared the elusive mercy rule scoring 7, and 6 in the 3 and 5 innings respectively. Not only were the ‘Billies bats aflame, but they were flashing the leather all over the diamond as well and were ahead by a score of 18 to 6 going into the bottom of the eighth inning.

Unfortunately – much like the afternoon thunderstorm – the ‘Billies dominance came to an end more quickly than imagined. Spectators swore that the creaking of wagon wheels could be heard in the bottom of the eighth, as both a three legged horse, and a one eyed dog were seen running wild – in the form of Chapps offence – all over the field. Still despite what felt like an eternity in the field our heroes managed to stop the bleeding at four, before surrendering 3 in the bottom of the ninth, and escaping the damage caused by a team wide epidemic of the Lolligags. When asked about the mass affliction ‘Billies Captain Ron attributed it to the dreaded smog, ending rumors of air born chemical weapons used by Chapps. Before the final out the Billies cashed in 4 runs of their own, making the final score 22 to 13.

It’s worth mentioning that this team looks like one that’s peaking at the right time. With some outstanding outfield play in left GP was showing the world why the ‘Billies made him the top free agent signing of the season. Igor’s bat has come alive in recent games, and opposing defences are beginning to plan for her routine blasts, while Crooothers and Shawn Clarke/The Witch Project continue to put in workmenlike performances both at the plate and in the field. All Canadian Cathy Beaulne was straightening out her bat before vanishing on a ‘hot date'...how are we ever going to break it to Braden?