A dark storm threatened the debut of the 'Billies dynamic duo
Tie Goes To The Runner…er…The Defence…er…ummm…OUT!!!!
The original title of this game’s write up was to be Worlds Collide…If Weather Permits. This title was a reference to the historic event of both The Ringer and All Canadian Cathy Beaulne (The A.C.C.) playing together on the same field. It was supposed to be about a team coming together, the changing of the guard and the force brought to bear on the opposition by two Future Hall Of Famers. But last night there were other forces at work…forces far more sinister.
On a night where rain was in the forecast the ‘Billies took to the field. As mentioned above this was to be a special night for the organization, with both The Ringer and The ACC in the line up. Despite the call for thunder the Hillbilly Nation was out in full force, this was surely going to be a night to remember. Not only had the ACC returned from a self-imposed exile, but Lisa – a standout in the Hillbilly resurgence this year – was back in the lineup as was Billy’s veteran Bubba Gump. On top of all that Stinky was gone away on a conference. All signs pointed to these Hillbillies vaulting over the .500 mark, the only piece missing from the puzzle was Triple T who was off on special assignment.
Coming off a franchise record for runs the ‘Billies and their legion of fans were expecting big things from the bats on this night. The top of the first saw three consecutive pop flies, while the bottom saw four opposition scores. Things were as grim as the Hamiltonian sky, but the ‘Billies have seen adversity often this season, and it is something they meet head on these days. After shaking off the rust, the Billies took the lead by the fifth. This feat was accomplished by clutch hitting by the likes of the Messiah who went 4 for 5, Charlie Brown who stood tall at the plate delivering a Grand Slam in the third, and the Ringer who caught the oppositions Boy’s napping by driving a ball deep over all the fielders – only now is this prospect beginning to get the respect she deserves by opposing defences. As usual the female Billies were strong at the plate with the Porn lover driving the ball hard in the infield and Lisa beating out throws with her blistering speed. Unfortunately last night beating a throw wasn’t sufficient for getting the call and Lisa was robbed on no fewer than two plays at first base – it was that kind of night.
From here play was hotly contested. The Billies relinquished the lead when the perverbial wheels fell of in the seventh and the opposition scored the maximum 8 runs. With grim faces the Billies went to work and in their end of the eighth a rally was born. As has been the case this season the Billies hitters answered the call when they needed to, the mission was simple; get some runs, keep the lead. Unfortunately sabotage was in the air. With one out and the Billies attempting a game saving rally, the ball was hit hard in the dirt. Captain Ron barrelled toward the plate knowing that the call would be close. The Umpire calls “OUT” as the ball makes its way to first. Still Captain Ron sprints for home. The first baseman turns and fires…Captain Ron crosses the plate (or rather the clearly marked safe line…the catch is made at home…the Billies rejoice, they are now only down by one run with runners in scoring position. But a hush falls over the crowd, for no call has yet been made. “Um…safe…no…OUT!!” cries the umpire, siting the fact that the foot of the Hillbilly Captain had not in fact touched the dirt before the ball was caught. Though this may be true in this league (and in just about any sport’s league the author has ever heard of) all that is required is the crossing of the plane. So the inning ends and the rally dies.
After playing solid defence in the bottom of the eighth the Billies could do nothing at the plate, their spirits crushed. The game ends with the Hawaiians two runs shy…
