Hammerin’ Hawaiians Down Opposition 22-2

Perhaps it was the rain, perhaps…well it was probably the rain…but both teams were forced to take the field shorthanded. Due to a curious rule in the GSA the ‘Billies were forced to take an out every trip through the order for only fielding 2 ladies (Porn Lover and The Ringer), while the opposition had no such penalty despite having two fewer players.

Offensively little happened in the first inning with both teams failing to score a run. As it has all season the Moonshine Defence was flashing greatness. The ‘Billies cashed in two in the second before letting up one in the bottom of the inning. Then the floodgates opened. Despite having to field Invisible Isabelle for the first time this season, the Hillbilly Offense opened up, scoring a total of 15 runs from the 3rd to the 5th innings. This offensive output was lead by The Hustler, Triple T. and the BIG UNIT all of whom were perfect at the dish. Again Porn Lover was the best Billiette at the plate going 5 for 6 while closing in on the best batting average on the team. But perhaps the most telling stat for this game was that this ‘Billies team; who in the past has been referred to as the glove finders; popped out a mere 8 times (less than once an inning!!!). It has been said on these pages before and it will be noted again today, the pitching by The Messiah and The Ringer has been spectacular and in this writers opinion is one of the biggest reasons that the ‘Billies are posting record numbers offensively.

But the record which really needs to be mentioned happened in the Hillbilly Outfield and no, it had nothing to do with wheels creaking or falling off. On the contrary this night saw the routine flashing of genuine Hillbilly Cowhide. In this age of GSA Softball it is impressive, no amazing, that defensively a team could hold their opposition to two runs. Leading the charge on the defensive front were Bubba Gump, Triple T, and The Ringer who all made fantastic infield stops and off-balance throws to the Messiah look easy; while the leaders of the historic Hillbilly outfield were Captain Ron and Charlie Brown, who used their veteran leadership as well as their steady gloves to keep this undermanned unit focused.

All in all this is easily the most complete game put together by the Hillbillies this season, and perhaps of all time. But it is this season that matters and the victory put the ‘Billies back at 0.500 on the season. Still though if this season turns out to be the success that so many sports insiders expect it to be, this game will be heralded at the coming out party for a team that has been waiting to show off its potential.