Grandma Billy says, "Once that moonshine kicks in, there ain't no stoppin' these Hillbillies!"
Billies Extend Winning Streak to Three Games; Face Biggest Challenge of Season!
With a two game winning streak in their pockets and some help from around the league the Billies had clinched third place in the division. And although the team had not been seeded this high this late in the season since their historical run in the ‘50s they believe that they can still climb higher in the GSA standings. But ahead of them this week are contenders Be The Ball and perennial favorites The Rock All Gannets (a double header Thursday). But the swagger is definitely there on this team and new found fans and hard nosed sportscasters alike can see that there is something special about this squad. So in the desert heat that is the Zone Six parking lot the ‘Billies went to work against a team that they had lost too narrowly in a game filled with controversy.
After surrendering only one run in the top of the inning, the Billies began with their customary slow start, fly out, strike out, fly out…on to the second. In the top of the second the Billies (despite shutting down the best hitters on Be The Ball) were nickel and dimed out of three runs. In the bottom of the inning the Billies could only count one. By the bottom of the third the Billies were down 5-1. Queue the bats.
In an attempt to rally the troops Captain Ron led the inning off with a sky-ball home run over the chain-link monster in left. Then two batters later with the Cheetah on base Charlie Brown added his own in the park trip ‘round the bases by blasting the ball down the line in right. Triple T and two of the three Mikes found the base pads before the Big Unit came to the plate. With runners on first and second the UNIT dug in and drove The Ringer’s offering straight up the middle, a clear base hit which should have loaded the bases for The Ringer. But on this play a foul stench hung over the diamond. With the ball headed straight for him Stinky froze, seemingly glued to second base and when the stench cleared Stinky had been thrown out on the force at third – yes by the center fielder. This play – which rivals Stinky’s two on third for worst base running blunder of the season – killed the rally and had the Hillbillies unveiling their newest motivational tool. For the two following innings Stinky could be seen wearing the GRASS SKIRT. At the end of the third the game was knotted at five.
The Moonshine Defense was strong in the fifth, with Triple T (after minor adjustments on the faster infield) picking up the first double play of the season. With runners on first and second Be The Ball hit a slow roller down the third base line. Taylor charged the ball. As he picked up the grounder his foot plants firmly on the bag, and Taylor takes to the air with Alomar-like grace. Off balance and unplanted the young veteran lofts the ball to first where The Messiah makes the grab. OUT!!! The umpire calls and a dangerous inning is ended by the increasingly impressive gloves of the Hillbilly Infield. Unfortunately the Billies Bats could not find the answer in the bottom of the inning and the fifth began tied at 5.
Again the Billies were up to the task and Be The Ball was retired with nary a runner past the plate. But now the Hawaiians were ready. After a lead off fly out, Triple T, Stinky, Bubba Gump, The BIG Unit and the Ringer found the bags for five consecutive base hits, and two runs. A sacrifice fly from the Hustler brought home Bubba Gump, and left The UNIT and The Ringer on first and second. With two down Porn Lover stepped to the plate. As the tension grew around the diamond you could almost feel the Be The Ball Infield cringe, knowing that one of the Billies most consistent hitters was at bat to keep the rally alive. The Messiah delivered the ball and Pornlover drove the ball hard to short. Despite the brief bobble by the infielder it looked like there would be a play at second. As the shortstop coolly delivered the ball to the second baseman the Ringer threw her body into a slide (while wearing shorts). Just before the ball met the second baseman’s glove the Ringer made contact with the bag…SAFE!! The rally was kept alive and the bases were loaded. Again the diamond fell silent as future hall-of-famer Captain Ron stepped to the plate. Again the Messiah delivered the ball to the meat of the strike-zone and Ron crushed a ball deep off the fence for a base clearing triple. That would be the last hit of the inning but a body sacrificing slide had allowed the Billies to score three more runs and build a six run lead. They never looked back.
Despite a shaky defensive effort in the dreaded seventh the Billies went on to win the contest by a score of 17 to 14 without using the bottom of the ninth. Tractor Trailor Taylor completed the second double play of the season (a carbon-copy of the first), and Captain Ron donned the grass skirt for a strike out after a pseudo-homerun that was inches foul. Again the three Mikes went 12 for 15, the interior of the defense was solid (especially after adjusting to the bone dry field) and the pitching was superb.
Heading into a double header against the league leading Gannets to end the first half of the season the Billies look like they will be a challenge. The bats are looking good as is the Moonshine D. One has to believe that with an easier second half on the schedule the Billies should be able to at least hold on to the third spot in the standings and a jump to second (and maybe even first) is definitely not out of the question.
