Hillbilly defense unravels in the bottom of the seventh!
Peaking Billies surge into post season play, but will it be enough?
Before entering the tournament, the Hillbillies stopped a losing skid by beating (at the time) second place Chapps, before promptly ending the season with a loss to last place Defrost Ted. It was difficult for any sports writer, or fan, to say how they would do in this year end tourney. This was a team that had scored over 13 runs in only one game since the middle of July, but the defense had held solid letting in more than 20 only twice over that same stretch. Still these Hillbillies had posted more wins than ever before, and they ran rampant through the tournament last year despite being ranked two spots lower. It was Thursday afternoon and this sports writer was wondering how the Hillbillies would come together this weekend. The first opponent would be Glacial Speed a team who this season has brought the Hillbilly nation to the edge of their seats with four closely contested games.
The first inning began as so many do for this team as three of the first four batters flew out in the first, but the Hillbillies remained strong in the field letting up only two runs. In the second however Ruby Sue was playin’ a different tune. The Hillbillies began with three strong hits by The BIG Unit, and The Ringer, then Stinky cashed in one with an RBI single. Bubba Gump then brought home two runs with a hard hit double to score two. A pair of hits by the Cheetah and Triple T scored Gump before Glacial Speed could record the final out. The defense then surrendered 4 runs to make the score 5 – 4 for the Speed. Still looking to cash in runs the Billies came out swingin’ with four hits by The Hustler, Charlie Brown, The BIG Unit, and The Ringer. Three runs were scored and the Billies held on defense to lead 7 to 5. Again in the fourth the Hillbilly Bats were merciless opening the inning with hits by The Cheetah, Triple T, The Messiah, The Porn Lover, The Hustler, Charlie Brown, The BIG Unit, The Ringer, and The Stink (yes that’s 9 hits in a row!), Bubba Gump then drove in the eighth and final run of the inning. Again the Hillbilly defense was strong giving up only one run making the score 15 to 6.
In the fifth hits by The Cheetah, The Messiah and The Porn Lover accounted for two Billie scores. The Speed again counted one run. The sixth was uneventful and the Billies went into the away half of the seventh (and final) inning up by a score of 17 to 11. The Cheetah began the offence by reaching base, but was thrown out on the next at bat breaking up the double play and allowing Triple T to reach first safely. The Messiah blasted his patented moon shot to right and with a blaze of speed and a little shimmy for the shortstop Triple T scored from first but on a peculiar play he picked up the ball, which had been thrown and bobbled at home and The Messiah was forced back to second. The Speed then ended the inning before any more damage could be done. And the Billies had a safe lead of 7 going into the bottom of the seventh…or did they?
In a display of hitting that can only be called supernatural the Glacial Speedsters dropped in hit after hit after hit frustrating the Hillbilly defense. Despite not surrendering an error in the inning the Hillbillies gave up eight runs in a shocker to loose by a final count of 19 to 18. There was a definite feeling of disappoint, but not despair on the Hillbilly Bench. “We’ll bounce back,” Captain Ron could be heard saying, “the bats are back and we’re going to do some damage.” Are these words of a desperate man looking to solidify his team, or are they prophesy for the weekend. The Hillbillies still hold to that swagger and perhaps woefully for the other teams in the tournament they have three things in their favor for the weekend.
1. Triple T defends his master’s thesis on Friday
2. Bubba Gump has his Phoenix birthday party of Friday
3. By virtue of being the highest seeded team in the losers bracket the Billies have their first game at 11:00 am on Saturday.
These three facts when put together can only mean one thing. Gigantic booze up Hillbilly Style. “I think that we’re a little better hung over,” mused The BIG Unit on the way to the Phoenix after the game. “It should be an interesting weekend”, Triple T said with a twinkle in his eye. Time will tell, but the rumors around the tournament last season were that the Hillbillies could be seen pounding back beers before games last year and some opposing teams confessed that it was the best that they had ever seen the Hawaiians play.
