From the Bullpen

By Tractor Trailer Taylor

(CP) Word on the street is that Captain Ron’s trip to Montreal might have more to do with a new collective bargaining agreement then with just barley and hops and red lights. Sources close to the situation infer that the GSA may be looking at contracting teams in the near future, as some teams in the league have been unable to recoup the operating costs incurred at the beginning of the season. Sources say that the concentration of dead-beats is particularly high on the ‘Hillbillies. When asked by this reporter, Captain Ron merely stated, ‘there aren’t going to be as many private dances on this trip as I’d like’.

Further speculation indicates that the ‘Billies might be looking at moving some of their high-priced mid-season acquisitions in order to make it through the rest of the year. Killer Barnes is already reportedly looking at property in Kitchener, while Mad Dawg Matheson hasn’t made it to the field in weeks. It’s also been whispered in some circles that the cookies that Bubba Gump has been pushing are actually not Girl Guides Cookies at all; under the Girl Guides sticker a faint impression of the words ‘save the billies cookies’ can be seen. It wouldn’t be the first time Bubba Gump has bailed the ‘Billies out. Croothers has also tried to help out, selling her hair to a local doll manufacturing company.

The week ahead promises to be interesting, not only off the field but on it. The 'Billies have a sort of double-header later in the week. With a sweep, the 'Billies could move back into the play-off picture. Charlie Brown looks to finish up what is shaping up as an all-star season, while Bubba Gump and the BIG UNIT are battling it out for the lowest ERA in the league. Unfortunately, this record might come at the expense of the 'Billies play-off aspirations.