My name is Oleta I am a cancer survivor. I have already had two rounds with it, and I know how it feels when the doctor looks at you and tells you those words you have always dreaded... "I'm sorry, but you have cancer".

I know of the sudden fear, or maybe terror is the right word. All at once you realize how fragile and precious life really is. 
I was diagnosed in 1983 with cervical cancer, then in Feb. 2000 I was diagnosed with breast cancer.

I know how it affects your life and those around you, because I have been on both sides of it.There is no easy way to accept it. 
Its so hard having to watch someone you love go through it. And it's really hard when you know the burden it's going to put on your family and friends.

Its so hard to have to go through the surgeries, then later the chemo and possible radiation. Then you can only hope and pray they got it all. To me, the chemo was one of the hardest things of all. The sore mouth, the nausea, the lost hair. Having to sit for so many hours taking the injections.

The look on the faces of your children or your friends when they see all the changes happening to you, and knowing there is nothing they can really do to help you. Just stand by and love you and pray God in His mercy will help you through.

The weakness you have. When all you really want to do is lay down, and at times - not get up. 

I had already lost my mom to cancer in 1967, then one of my daughters was diagnosed with cervical cancer in 1996.She survived it. Then in 2003 was
diagnoised with breast cancer. They removed her right breast and she had to go thru the dreaded chemo.
She has now finished her radiation and chemo. But the fear remains.She has another 4/12 years to be watched.

I lost Jim, my husband and best friend to it in 1999. He had lung cancer. He lived 11 months after being diagnosed with it. We had been married 24 years.He fought a very
tough fight.Right to the end.When I lost him
It seemed the world was totally against me.
Little did I know that was just the start.
 

My other daughter Tina was diagnosed with it in June 1999. She had breast cancer. At first they thought they had gotten it all. But in Feb of 2000 they knew it had already gone too far. I lost her June 21, 2000. She was only 29 years old and left behind a husband and 2 children. 

I know God has his reasons for everything, and I know we don't have the right to question him. But there are times in our lives when we wonder WHY? Why Me? There have been times when I didn't think I could go on. But He was always there with me and helped me along one more day.

Well guess God thinks I must be a bit stronger
Susan my older daughter has been diagnosed as
incurable with breast cancer now.This was diagnosed
in December 2004.

I dont know how im going to be able to face
this again .It seems when we think we have
hit the bottom it can always get worse.

At this point All i can do is turn it
over to God and pray .I know he will give me
strength. Somehow it seems Im so weak that
I would like to just scream at life in
general. But I know that is wrong too.

I want to reach out and help others that
are facing the same thing. 
There is no easy way to face cancer.
But I have learned that by having others
who have been there helps
And I'm here to help anyone I can who needs me.

If you or a loved one is facing cancer and need someone to talk to I will be happy to. I found that meeting others with the same problems does help.

Sincerely, 
Oleta AKA "Trail of Tears "