Chapter 10

I woke up and no one was in my room. My door was closed and I was all by myself. I got up and locked my door. Then I began to quietly pack my things. The pain from the hitting was unbearable, but I couldn't live in hell any longer, so I forgot about the physical pain and continued to pack.

I grabbed my duffel bag and put as many clothes into it as I could fit. Then I grabbed my backpack and put my personal belongings in it. I put my diary, my camera, a picture of my mom and I, my jewelry, my CD's, my wallet, a picture of Kevin, Brian, and me dressed as the three musketeers for Halloween, and Cozy Bear into my backpack. I also put anything else that I could fit into my backpack, that reminded me of my mom and Kevin.

I decided that I could go live with my cousin, Lauren, in New York. We weren't really cousins, but she was a best friend of my cousin, Candice, so we became like cousins. No one would ever find me in New York or with her.

After everything was packed I sat down and wrote a letter to Kevin. I poured my heart out to him. As I wrote the first two words the tears began to flow.

Dear Kevin (Boo),

Janel Elizabeth Evans (Pumpkin, Shorty)

My heart is aching with the thought of leaving my mom and Kevin behind, but it's for the best. I grabbed a tissue and wiped my tears away. I looked down at the letter and noticed that there were tear spots all over it. I tried not to cry on it, but I couldn't control myself. I put my favorite ring in the envelope, along with the letter. I wrote Boo on the front and sealed it tightly.

I looked around my room one last time and sighed. I threw my duffel bag out the window. Then I put my backpack on and grabbed the letter. I quietly closed my window and climbed down my ladder for the last time. Then I grabbed my bag and headed over to Kevin's ladder.

Once I was at his ladder, I set my bags at the bottom. Then I grabbed the letter and climbed up Kevin's ladder. My tears continued to run down my face. I didn't even try to stop them because I couldn't.

I slowly and quietly opened Kevin's window, not wanting to make the slightest noise. I carefully stepped in his room making sure I didn't bump into something. He was sleeping so peacefully in his bed. I looked at him and made a mental picture. That's how I always wanted to remember him, sleeping peacefully.

I looked up and saw his shirt, that he had been wearing that day, hanging on the back of his door. I walked over to it and smelled it. It still smelled like him and his cologne, so I decided to keep it. Then I saw his cologne on his chest of drawers. I loved that cologne and I could always tell when he would come up behind me. I could smell that scent a mile away. The bottle was only about a third full, so I decided to take it. I wanted anything and everything that would remind me of Kevin. I grabbed a piece of paper off of his desk and wrote: Sorry Boo, for taking your shirt and cologne. I stapled the note to the letter and set it on his desk by his telephone.

Then I went over to him and sat down on the bed next to him. He looked so beautiful just sleeping. I could have stayed there forever just watching him sleep. I rubbed my hand across his cheek and kissed his forehead. I wanted so badly to kiss him on the lips. His lips were so beautiful and they looked so soft, but I was afraid that if I did, I wouldn't be able to leave. So I got up before I changed my mind.

Out on the ladder, I took one last look at him. Then I closed the window and hurried down. I grabbed my things and left my neighborhood, that I had lived in all of my life.

I went to the bank and withdrew the money that I had saved for college. Then I headed towards the bus stop. I bought a ticket for New York, but I would have to go to four different places before I got there. So I bought the ticket for Charleston, West Virginia. Once I had gotten my ticket, I went over to a pay phone and called my cousin, Lauren.Ring! Ring! Ring! Ring! Ring!

"Oh please pick up the phone, Lauren," I said aloud to myself.

"Hello," a groggy voice answered.

"Hi, Lauren. It's me, Janel," I said, relieved that she finally picked up.

"Oh, hi Janel. Why are you calling at this hour?" she asked.

"Lauren. I have a big favor to ask of you. I need a place to stay and I was wondering if I could come and live with you. It'll just be until I find another place," I said.

"Sure. But why do you have to call now to ask this?" What's the matter with where you are?" she questioned.

"I can't explain right now. I'll be there sometime within the next two days. Oh, and don't tell anyone about me coming. Okay?" I asked.

"Okay, but. . ." she said, as I hung up to catch my bus.

I kept my hair down and around my face, so no one could see the bruises. I walked to the very back of the bus and sat down. There weren't very many people on the bus that early in the morning, so I got to sit by myself with no one around me. I put my duffel bag on the floor next to me and my backpack on the seat next to me. Then I pulled out my Cozy Bear and held him tightly.

As the bus took off, I stared out the window until I didn't recognize the area anymore. Then I closed my eyes to forget about what I was leaving behind, or actually who I was leaving behind. I eventually fell asleep holding my bear tightly to keep me safe.

Later that morning, in Kentucky

Ring! Ring!

"Hello," answered Ann.

"Hi, Ann, this is Joy. Is Janel over there? I went to wake her up this morning and she wasn't there. Her bed is made and some of her things are gone. I've already called some of her friends and they haven't heard from her or seen her," Joy said, panicking.

"Hold on Joy, calm down. I'm sure she's here somewhere. I'll go check the clubhouse, the horse stalls, and I'll ask Kevin. You call Brian's house and any other friends of hers. I'll call you back if I find her or you can call me if you've found her. Okay?" asked Ann.

"Okay, thanks a lot Ann. Bye!" Joy said.

Joy turned to Jerry and said, "Ann's not sure where she is either. I'm going to call the rest of her friends. I want you to take the car and go looking for her."

"Yes, honey. Call me on the cell phone if you hear anything," Jerry said.

He walked out to the car, while Joy continued to call more of Janel's friends.

At Kevin's house, Ann looked everywhere before she went to Kevin's room to wake him up. She didn't want to worry him for no reason.

Ann just came in from outside when Kevin came down the stairs.

"Hi, Mom. What are you doing?" Kevin asked brightly.

"I was looking for Janel. Have you seen her?" Ann asked.

Kevin's face dropped, as he asked, "No. Why?"

"Oh, her mom went to wake her up this morning and she wasn't there. Her bed is made and some of her things are gone. Do you know where she is?" she asked.

"No. What about Brian's? Is her mom calling her other friends? How long has she been gone?" Kevin asked, worriedly.

"Calm down, Kevin. Panicking won't help us to find her," Ann said, trying to calm Kevin. "We're not sure how long she's been gone. We've been looking for her for about 45 minutes now. And yes, her mom's calling her other friends," Ann said.

"She's been missing for at least 45 minutes now and you didn't wake me up?! I'm going to go call some more people that might know where she is!" Kevin yelled, as he ran upstairs.

Kevin sat down at his desk and was ready to call Steve, when he noticed the envelope sitting there. He looked at the envelope suspiciously and then picked it up. He read the note and his nickname on the envelope. From the handwriting he knew it was from Janel. He looked around his room noticing that his shirt and cologne were no longer there.

Then he picked up the letter and sat down on his bed. He leaned back against his head board and sighed. He opened the envelope slowly and took out the letter, afraid of what it might say.

He had such a great time last night with Janel. Everything was perfect between them and he finally realized that he was falling in love with her. He knew it before, but only subconsciously. This time he knew it when he was dancing with her. He enjoyed holding her and being close to her.

He opened up the letter and noticed the tear spots on it. Then he began to read it. As soon as he read that she loved him, he began to cry. While reading through the rest of the letter, he went through every emotion. He was crying for all sorts of reasons. Tears of joy because she loved him, tears of pain because she left him, and most of all tears of anger because she had been hurt so much and he didn't rescue her like he was supposed to. He was furious with Jerry for what he had done to her. He wanted to rip his head off.

'How could she not let me help her? How could I be so blind to something like this? I should have noticed something. I should have paid more attention to her,' Kevin thought.

He went to put the letter back in the envelope when he found the ring. He pulled it out and looked at it. It was the ring she always wore on her right pinkie. She never took it off, no matter what she was doing. It was from her grandfather, who died when she was a little girl. Then he placed both things back into the envelope.

"I promise not to tell a soul. I do love you Janel, always and forever," Kevin said quietly to himself.

He got up and put the letter in his desk, where no one could find it. Then he laid back down on his bed and cried his heart out. He cried until he couldn't cry no more. He felt all of these emotions and now he couldn't tell anyone about it. He wanted to go over and beat the shit out of Jerry, but he knew he couldn't for Janel and her mom's sake. He couldn't destroy what family Joy had left.

Finally he realized that he had to go back downstairs to his family before they saw him crying. He had to let them know that Janel was no longer coming back, without telling them about the letter. He slowly sat up and stared at a picture of them when they were little kids. He wiped his tears away and sat there in a daze. He still couldn't believe what he had just read. It didn't seem real, like it happened to someone he didn't know. He finally got up and went downstairs.

He walked into the kitchen where his parents were sitting.

"Did you find her, Kevin?" Jerald asked, immediately as Kevin walked in.

"No, Dad. I called some more people and they don't know where she is either. She's not coming back," Kevin said, quietly.

"What? How do you know? Did she tell you? Have you talked to her?" Ann asked.

"No. I just know her. If she was coming back, she would have at least called me or let me know that she was leaving. But now she's left without any reason," Kevin said, sadly.

"Well, we have to go tell Joy and Jerry," Jerald said.

Kevin cringed at the thought of seeing Jerry or even hearing his name. But he knew that he had to control himself.

They walked across the street in silence. Once they got there Kevin lightly knocked on the door. The door immediately swung open.

"Hi, Kevin. Did you find her?" asked Joy, hopefully.

They all went in and closed the door behind them. They sat on the couch across from the love seat, where Jerry was sitting.

"I'm sorry, but. . .no," Kevin said, and then paused. "I don't think she's coming back," he choked out, and then began to cry.

Joy collapsed onto the love seat and cried into Jerry's arms. Jerry looked up at Kevin with anger in his eyes.

"Liar! You know where she is, you just don't want to tell us. You're trying to take our little girl away from us!" yelled Jerry, while holding Joy.

Kevin, Ann, and Jerald sat there shocked at what he had just said. Then Kevin became enraged.

"What?! I don't know where she is! Believe me, I want to be with her just as much as you do!" Kevin yelled while standing up.

"Yeah, but you want to be with her for other reasons, such as in the bed. We actually love her," Jerry yelled, while standing up in front of Kevin.

"How could you say that? I love her! And now I've lost my best friend and the person who knows me best!" Kevin yelled, in Jerry's face.

Kevin couldn't handle it any longer. He punched Jerry in the stomach as hard as he could. Jerry fell back onto the love seat hitting his head against the wall. Kevin lunged towards him and wrapped his hands around Jerry's neck.

"You bastard! I could kill you!" yelled Kevin, as he was choking Jerry.

Then he began to choke Jerry with all of his anger. Jerry tried to get Kevin's hands off of his neck, but he couldn't. Jerald was coming over to get Kevin off. He grabbed Kevin by the arms and pulled him as hard as he could. He got Kevin off of Jerry for a second, but he wasn't strong enough to keep Kevin from Jerry. Joy was still crying and yelling, and Ann was also yelling.

"Please both of you, stop!" Joy pleaded.

"Kevin! Kevin, stop you're hurting him!" yelled Ann.

Then the doorbell rang and Ann rushed to get it. She swung the door open and it was Tim.

"Is dad here?" Tim asked.

She grabbed Tim by the arm and said, "Hurry, come help your dad!"

He quickly came in and helped his dad get Kevin off of Jerry. They finally pulled Kevin off of Jerry and Tim held him back. Kevin was crying and his face was red with anger. Jerry was gasping for breath and beginning to sit up. Kevin ripped himself away from Tim and ran out of the house.

"What the hell is wrong with your son?" Jerry yelled, out of breath.

"I'm not even going to respond to that Jerry. Enough has been said and we don't need anymore of your bullshit," Jerry said angrily.

"We'll see ourselves out. Joy, if you need me or anything, just call," Ann said. She grabbed Jerald and Tim and they walked out closing the door behind them.

Kevin ran up to his room and slammed his door closed. He grabbed his football and laid on his bed. He threw it against the wall over and over again trying to get his anger out.

Ann, Jerald, and Tim walked in to their house with the sound of banging. The first time Ann heard it she jumped.

"I think we need to check on him. I'm afraid he might break something or worse, hurt himself. And why did he get so violent? I've never seen Kevin like that before," Ann said worriedly.

"Yeah, I've never seen my little bro. that angry before and he used to get mad at me a lot," Tim said.

"Well, what do you expect? Jerry practically said that Kevin was just using Janel for sex!" Jerald yelled angrily.

"No, he didn't," Ann said.

"Not exactly, but that's what he meant. You know how much Janel means to Kevin and now she's gone and he gets blamed for it. I completely understand why he became so violent," Jerald said.

"He had no right to attack Jerry like that, though," Ann said.

"Um, are you guys going to stop Kevin from making all that noise?" Tim asked.

"No, leave him alone. And no, I don't think it was right for him to attack Jerry like that, but someone needed to put him in his place," Jerry said, then he walked into the family room.

Ann and Tim followed him. They chose to watch a movie to try and ignore the noise. Eventually, when Kevin got tired, he stopped throwing the football. He laid down in his bed and cried his heart out. After he had cried himself out, he slowly fell asleep.