Chapter 11

On the bus, in Charleston

"Dear, wake up," an older woman said.

I slowly woke up and jumped when I saw her. I had forgotten where I was.

"It's okay. I just came to tell you that you've arrived in Charleston," she said, nicely.

"Oh, thanks," I said.

I grabbed my stuff and headed towards another bus. I put my things on it and sat down. I sat there and stared out the window thinking of my mom and Kevin.

"Um, excuse me," a young girl's voice said, interrupting my thoughts. "Is this seat taken?" she asked politely.

"No, go ahead," I said quietly, while continuing to stare out the window.

"Hi! My name is Stacey," she said being friendly, while putting her things up.

'Oh, why does she have to sit next to me. I just want to be left alone,' I thought.

"My name is Janel," I said turning to look at her.

She was about 5'5" and thin. She had long light brown hair that went down to about the middle of her back. She had light brown eyes and a friendly face.

"Hi, so where are you from? Oh my gosh! Are you okay? You're face is bruised," she said, surprised.

"Yeah, I'm fine. I'd rather not say where I'm from," I said turning away from her.

"I didn't mean to be so nosy and so, well. . .rude," she said, apologizing.

"It's okay," I said.

I decided to talk to her since she wasn't going anywhere. She seemed to be nice and maybe the ride would go faster if we talked.

"So where are you from?" I asked.

"Charolette, North Carolina. I'm headed to New York for school," she said.

"I'm also headed to New York," I said.

"What for?" she asked.

"I plan on starting a new life," I said.

"How old are you?" she asked.

"Seventeen," I said.

"Have you graduated already?" she asked.

"No," I said.

"So how do you plan on starting a new life," she asked.

"I'm going to live with my cousin and then figure out things from there. How old are you?" I asked.

"Eighteen. I plan on becoming a doctor," she said.

We continued to talk the rest of the ride to New York. We stopped and changed buses two times and each time we sat together. We found out that we had a lot in common. She was so easy to talk to and I felt like I had met her somewhere else before.

Once we got to New York we exchanged numbers. I gave her my cousins number and she gave me her cell phone number. Then she left to get a hotel.

I called my cousin and asked her to pick me up. She told me that she'd come pick me up in about 45 minutes. So I sat down against the wall and buried my head in my knees.

In Kentucky

"Kevin, sweetie. Please unlock your door. We just want to make sure you're okay," Ann pleaded.

"I'm fine, except for the fact that my best friend leaves me without telling me good-bye and somehow I get blamed for it," Kevin said, while laying in his bed.

"Please come out, you have to eat," Ann said.

"I don't want to eat and I'm not coming out," Kevin said stubbornly.

Ann walked downstairs to everyone and said, "He's hurting and he doesn't want to eat or come out. He's been locked in his room for two days now. I'm really worried about him. He could be hurt. Someone needs to get through to him," Ann said, worriedly.

"Let me see if I can get him to come out," Brian said.

He got up and walked out of the house. Everyone looked at him puzzled. He grabbed the ladder from the side of the house and pulled it in front of Kevin's window. He climbed up the ladder and went into Kevin's room through the window.

"Janel? Pumpkin, is that you?" Kevin asked hopefully, as he began to sit up.

"Sorry cuz, it's just me," Brian said.

"Oh," Kevin said, as he laid back down. "Wait a minute, how did you know about the ladder?" Kevin asked.

"Oh come on Kev. I knew both of you had ladders by your windows and would sneak through them. It doesn't take a genius to figure that out," Brian said.

"Oh," Kevin said. He continued to lay there while Brian stood there watching him. Finally Kevin broke the silence by saying, "She's not coming back." As he let out these words a tear began to roll down his cheek.

"How do you know?" Brian asked, while sitting on Kevin's bed.

"Because Brian, I've known her since we were little and I know that she's not coming back. It's just this feeling that I have," Kevin said.

"So she didn't leave you a note or anything like that?" Brian asked.

Kevin sat up and looked his cousin in the eye. He hated to lie to his cousin, but he promised not to tell anyone.

"No, she didn't give me any warning. I found out that she was gone when my mom told me that she had taken some of her things and no one could find her," Kevin said.

"Maybe she'll call you to let you know where she is or if she's safe," Brian said, trying to be optimistic.

"Maybe," Kevin stated.

Then Brian got up and unlocked Kevin's door, letting Ann and Jerald in. Ann immediately went over to Kevin and hugged him. Jerald thanked Brian for talking to Kevin and then Brian walked out. Brian closed the door behind him and left the three of them in the room. Jerald walked over to Kevin and sat on the other side of him.

"We're sorry Kevin. We know how much she meant to you. Your mom and I miss her a lot too, she became like a daughter to us over these past seventeen years. But you can't stay locked in your room forever," Jerald said.

"No, you don't know how much she means to me. I love her," Kevin quietly whispered.

"Joy called. She wants to talk to you, but I told her not anytime soon. You're too emotionally drained and I don't want you attacking Jerry again," Ann said.

"No, I want to go over there today. I'm going to go over there now," Kevin said while getting up and putting his shirt on.

"Are you sure"? I mean you're still. . ." Ann began, but was cut off by Kevin.

"Yes, I'm sure. I'll be fine," Kevin said, as he grabbed his shoes. He put them on and then headed down the stairs.

"Wait son! Are you sure you don't want someone to go with you? Maybe Brian should go with you?" Jerald suggested.

"No, Dad. I need to go by myself," Kevin said, as he crossed the street.

"Jerald, that son of yours is so stubborn. And you know where he gets it from. You," Ann said, staring at Kevin.

At the bus stop

"Janel, is that you?" Lauren asked.

I raised my head and smiled at her. It was so nice to see a friendly and familiar face. She was about 5'7" and her black hair was cut short up to her ears, so that it curved around her face. She wasn't skinny, but she had always been the perfect weight. She had beautiful light green eyes, that often changed depending on her moods. She always looked so beautiful, no matter what she was wearing.

I stood up and she ran to me and hugged me.

"Hi, to you too," I said smiling.

"Oh, it's so good to see you. I can't believe you made it here all the way from Kentucky," she said letting go of me.

"Yep, it was quite a trip," I said.

"What? What. . .happened to you?" she asked, noticing my face.

"Nothing. I'm tired. Can we go now?" I asked, turning away from her.

"I guess," Lauren said, suspicously.

"You didn't tell anyone that I was coming here, right?" I asked.

"No one. Your cousin, Candice, and I don't really talk anymore. We've kind of separated our own ways," Lauren explained, while we were walking to her car.

"Whew!" I said relieved. "Oh, wait I didn't mean that. It's just that I was glad that you didn't talk to her. Oh, oops, I mean well, um. . .," I said.

"It's okay. I know what you meant. You just don't want to deal with your family," she said.

"Exactly," I said.

"So why are you here? Does it have something to do with your bruised face?" she asked.

"I don't want to talk about that right now. It's been a rough couple of days and all I want to do is eat and sleep," I said.

"Okay, we can talk later," Lauren said, as we climbed into the car.

In Kentucky

Knock! Knock!

"Who is it?" Joy asked.

"It's me, Mama Joy," Kevin said.

She opened the door, letting him in. He walked in and looked around for a sign that maybe, just maybe Janel had returned. Joy stared at him and knew exactly what he was thinking.

"She's not here," Joy said sadly.

"Oh, I know. I thought that just maybe. . .well maybe she came back," Kevin said.

"Kevin, please sit down. We need to talk. Would you like anything to drink?" she asked.

"No, thanks. So what do you want to talk about?" Kevin asked.

"I'm sorry about the other day. Jerry was completely out of line. He should have never said those things. I know that you always took care of her and I know that you loved her. He was just upset and he didn't know how to deal with her leaving," Joy said.

"I'm also very sorry about the other day. I should have never attacked Jerry like that. I was really upset with what he said to me. I guess we were all really upset," Kevin said. While he was thinking how could Jerry actually be upset or worried about Janel, after the way he had hurt her.

"That's okay," Joy said, hugging Kevin. She let go and asked, "So did you know anything about this? Did she tell you where she was going? Did you get a note from her? Anything?"

"No, I found out she was gone when my mom came in from the backyard and said you were looking for her. Maybe we should check her room?" Kevin suggested.

"I already did. There's nothing there," Joy said.

"Can I still go look?" Kevin asked.

"Sure, let's go," she said.

They headed upstairs and into her room. Kevin looked around at her bed already made, partially empty closet, and her empty desk where her pictures were. He couldn't imagine how alone she must have felt in her room these past two years.

Then he began to search through her desk drawers and the closet. He also checked her chest of drawers, but nothing was there besides her clothes. He sat down on the bed disappointed. Then he realized her two bears were missing.

He got off the bed and looked under it. There was a box underneath her bed, so he pulled it out. There was a note on top of the box that read: To Kevin. May these two items bring you comfort. Cozy Bear is safe with me. I love you. Please tell my parents that I love them, and also Mama and Papa, and Brian. Love, Janel.

After Kevin read the note he gave it to Joy to read. When she was done reading it, she began to cry. She looked up at Kevin with her tears running down her cheeks.

"Go ahead and open the box, Kevin," Joy said through tears.

He opened the box and there was her white bear named Boo and on top of him was her cross, that she hung above her window. He began to cry and closed the box.

"I'm going to go home now. Okay?" Kevin said.

"Sure. Do you want me to notify you if I receive any new information from the police?" Joy asked.

"Yes. Thank you, Mama Joy. Bye," Kevin said, as he walked out the door.

He walked across the street feeling alone and depressed. He knew why she left and he couldn't tell anyone. If he would have known he could have done something. He could have protected her, they could have told someone, they could have run away together, anything, but instead she kept it to herself.

He walked into his house and his family was waiting in the living room. He went directly up to his room ignoring all of his family's questions. He closed his door and sat down at his desk. He opened the box once again. He took out the cross and placed it above his window, as she had hers. Then he took out the bear and hugged it tightly, while laying his head down on his desk.

Lauren's House

"Oh, it feels so good to relax," I said, as I sat down on her couch. "Thank you so much for letting me stay here. You have no idea how much this means to me," I said grateful for her friendship.

"No problem. Now you have to tell me why you're here. I'm pretty sure it has something to do with those bruises on your face. But first would you like something to eat or drink?" she asked.

"A sandwich would be fine," I said.

"Okay, one ham sandwich coming up," she said rushing off into the kitchen.

"That sounds perfect," I said as I laid down on her couch.

"You can turn the t.v. on if you want!" she yelled.

"Okay," I said.

I just closed my eyes for a second and I was out. I was so exhausted from the past three days, that as soon as my eyes were closed and I let my guard down, I was sleeping.

"Here you go, one. . ." Lauren stopped, as she saw Janel sleeping.

She went and grabbed a blanket and covered me. She sat down on her chair and began to eat the sandwich, while she watched t.v.. She was watching a rerun of I Love Lucy and laughing her head off, as quietly as she could. Then Janel began to stir on the couch.

I cried out, "No, please no more!"

Lauren went over to Janel and began to lightly shake her.

I screamed at her touch. I opened my eyes and then burst into tears. I covered my face with my hands and cried into them. I was embarrassed to let Lauren see me like this.

"Please, Janel, calm down. It's okay you're at my house with me, Lauren. No one is hurting you here," she said, trying to comfort me. "Why don't you sit up, so you can tell me what's wrong?" she asked, softly.

I slowly removed my hands from my face and looked at her. I could tell she was worried about me, so I decided to sit up.

"Can you get my backpack for me please?" I asked.

Lauren got up and brought my backpack to me. I opened it up and took Cozy bear out. I hugged him tightly and then took a deep breath. I slowly let it out and then began to talk. I kept my eyes focused on my bear, never once looking at Lauren.

"The reason that I'm here is because. . .well. . .um. . .back in Lexington my dad beat and raped me," I said.

Then I broke down in tears, and couldn't speak anymore. Lauren quickly wrapped her arms around me and hugged me, while I continued to cry. I cried uncontrollably and began to make myself sick. She helped me get up and we walked over to the bathroom. As soon as I leaned over the toilet, I began to throw up. I sat there on the ground next to the toilet, trying to calm myself down. Eventually my crying calmed down and I just sat there. While I was sitting there, Lauren got me a hot bath ready.

"Here you go, sweetie. Why don't you take a nice hot bath? This'll help you feel better. Okay?" she asked.

"Okay," I said.

She helped me get up and then I sat on the edge of the bath tub. Then she left the room and I slowly got up and into the warm water. I looked at my body and noticed all of the bruises and scars. I continued to cry at the thought of my life. I wanted Kevin to be holding me and telling me that everything would be okay. I wanted to be in his safe and strong arms that would always protect me. But I wasn't with him, so instead I just wanted to lay down and sleep forever.

I laid back in the water and rested my head on the wall. I closed my eyes and enjoyed the warm water, until Lauren knocked.

"Janel, are you okay? I've made some soup for you," she said through the door.

"Yeah, I'll be out soon," I said.

I cleaned myself up and then got out. I walked out of the bathroom with my towel on, and she was on the phone. I grabbed my bag and went into the bathroom to change. When I came back out she was in the kitchen getting me my soup.

I went into the front room and laid down on the couch with Cozy Bear. I closed my eyes and rested. Lauren came over to me and placed her hand on my head to take my temperature.

"Janel, I think we should take you to the hospital," Lauren suggested.

"No! There is no way I'm going to the hospital!" I exclaimed.

"But you've been raped and you have some serious bruises. Something might be broken. You need to tell the police about this," Lauren said, trying to reason with me.

"No. I'm fine. Nothing's broken, and no one needs to know about this. Swear it!" I yelled.

"But. . ." Lauren began.

"No. Swear it!" I said.

"I swear," Lauren said quietly.

"Thank you," I said.

"Here's your soup," Lauren said, handing the bowl to me.

"I'm not that hungry," I said.

"You need to eat something," Lauren said placing the bowl in my hands. "Okay, now you can finish telling me what happened," she said.

I just looked down at the soup and stared at it.

"Janel, I want to know what happened. You're like family to me. You can tell me anything," Lauren said.

I picked up the spoon and blew on the hot soup. I slowly took a bite and swallowed it. Then I took a deep breath and sighed. Then I started to talk.

"When I was fifteen, I went out late one night with my best friend Kevin, who was seventeen. I came home later than curfew and my dad, Jerry, had been drinking. He accused me of sleeping with Kevin and he said that Kevin was just using me for sex. I told him nothing like that had ever happened. He called me a liar and began to hit me. I was taken to my room and beat with a belt," I said.

Then I stopped talking as the tears began to pour out of my eyes. She handed me a couple of tissues. I wiped my eyes and nose. Then I continued.

"Then he decided to rape me. I tried to stop him, but I couldn't. He told me never to tell anyone or I would get it worse, so I kept my mouth shut. He still continued to give me my punishment, as he would call it, almost every week," I said.

I paused and wiped my tears away. Then I took a deep breath and once again continued.

"A couple of days ago, I went to prom with Kevin, as friends. When I got home Jerry had a friend over and they had been drinking. He and his friend began to beat me. The hitting was so bad that I was afraid that I was going to die. Then I was forced to have sex. At first I refused to, but I was afraid that I would have been beaten to death. So I gave in and decided that I had to leave. And that's why I'm here," I said hugging my bear tightly.

"Oh my God! I'm terribly sorry about all of this," Lauren said, while hugging me. Then she let go of me and asked, "Why didn't you ever tell anyone?"

"I was afraid. Afraid of what he would have done to my mom or Kevin. I couldn't let him hurt them," I said.

"So who is Kevin?" Lauren asked.

"Kevin, he's my best friend, protector, and partner in crime. My everything. I've known him since I was a baby. Kevin and I spent so much time together, along with his cousin, Brian. We were the three musketeers," I said.

"So does Kevin know you're here?" Lauren asked.

"No. I didn't tell anyone," I said sadly.

"Maybe you should call him and let him know that you're okay, since he is your best friend," Lauren suggested.

"No, I can't," I said.

"Why not?" she asked.

"Because I can't," I said.

I was afraid that if I heard his voice I would go back. I wanted to go back, but there were so many problems if I did. It already hurt enough knowing that I loved him and had to leave. I couldn't stand to hear his voice and then not be able to see him.

"Fine, then," Lauren said, not understanding why not.

"Thank you," I said.

After that, I decided that was the end of that conversation, forever. There was nothing more to be said. I had told her everything that had happened.

She got up and turned the t.v. on. We continued to talk, but this time about her life. She told me how she had been doing and what she was doing. She was working for a magazine, as one of the editors. She told me that she could get me a job if I wanted. I told her that I would think about it.