Chapter 25

Kevin held my hand as I called. The phone began to ring and my heart began to race.

"Hello?" the woman asked.

I froze.

"Hello?" the woman asked again.

Kevin took the phone from me and began to talk.

"Hi Mom," Kevin said.

"Oh hi honey," she said.

"Mom, there's someone here that wants to talk to you. Hold on just a second," he said.

"Okay," she said.

Kevin covered the phone and said, "Go ahead, talk to her. It's okay."

I took the phone from him and said, "Hi Mama Ann."

"What did you just say?" asked Ann.

"Hi Mama Ann," I repeated.

"Oh my God! Janel, is that you?" she screamed.

"Yes," I said as I began to cry.

"I can't believe Kevin found you! I'm so happy to hear from you," she said beginning to cry.

"I'm happy to hear your voice again, Mama. I've missed our talks so much. How have you been?" I asked.

"Pretty good," she said.

"Mama, I'm so sorry about Papa. I miss him so much," I said.

"Thank you. I miss him too. So what about you? How have you been?" she asked.

"Oh, a roller coaster of emotions. Your son and I are going out and I'm on tour with him right now," I said happily while staring at Kevin. He got up and kissed me on the top of my head and left the room.

"That's so wonderful. I was surprised that he said he had a girlfriend on the last interview. I wondered who it could be and now I know. I'm glad it's you. So how did you and Kevin meet up again?" she asked.

"Well my friends knew that the guys were coming to town and that I would love to see them. So they reserved three front row tickets and a backstage pass for me. They surprised me with the tickets on the day of the concert," I said.

"So how was the concert?" Ann asked.

"Oh it was amazing! I screamed, danced, sang and cried," I said.

"Cried?" she asked.

"Yeah, when Kevin dedicated Back To Your Heart to me. I cried throughout the whole song," I said.

"Before the tour started he was so worried that you hadn't heard of him. Or that you would never find out that he had written a song for you. I'm so glad that you like it. He put a lot of hard work into it," she said.

"It's the most beautiful song I've heard. There are no words to describe it," I said. "Any ways, after the concert I went backstage and handed him my number and walked away. I didn't say anything to him because I was afraid that he would be mad at me for leaving, so I figured he'd call me if he wanted to talk."

"Are you serious? You just walked away?" she asked shocked. "He wasn't mad at you, just more hurt than anything," she explained. "So then what happened?"

"He came after me and told me that we needed to talk. He took me to their dressing room and I waited there with Tim until he came back. But unfortunately I started off on the wrong foot with Lou. He thought I was some stalker and started ranting and raving before I even had a chance to explain," I said.

"What did Kevin do?" she asked.

"He didn't hear what he said, but Brian did. So Brian stopped him and told him that I was a friend of his and Kevin's," I said. "I think I've caused some problems between Lou and the guys."

"No you haven't. They've been having a lot of disagreements with Lou lately. Kevin doesn't feel like the right decisions are being made," she said.

"Yeah well, he really doesn't like me. He doesn't want me on tour with Kevin or for that matter anywhere near Kevin. He thinks I'm trying to destroy Kevin's career," I said.

"Why does he think that?" she asked.

In the kitchen, on the bus

"So what's Janel doing?" Brian asked.

"She's on the phone with my mom," Kevin said. "I want her to come back to Lexington with me for Thanksgiving, but she's not to sure about it."

"Oh," Brian said.

"So how did you finally get Lou to leave?" Kevin asked.

"Dude, you guys really pissed Lou off by ignoring him, and then turning on the loud music. It was hilarious," A.J. said.

"Denise reasoned with him, sort of," Howie said.

"She told him that we had to get going and that we'd discuss it later," Nick said.

"Yeah. He wants to talk about it on our next day off, which is in a couple of says," Brian said.

"That should be fun," Kevin said sarcastically.

"Should we say anything to him about the lawyers?" A.J. asked.

"No. We'll hear what he as to say and then we'll decide about whether or not to contact lawyers," Kevin said.

"Okay," the guys agreed.

Entertainment Room

"Well when I was. . .um. . .raped, he didn't like the fact that. . .," I tried to continue quickly.

"Wait a minute. Back up. Did you just say that you were raped? When? What happened? Was it him?" she asked angrily.

"No, it wasn't him," I said.

"So what happened?" she asked.

"Well the guys, my two friends, and I were out at a club. Kevin and I were dancing the night away and supposedly this guy had been watching me the entire night. My friends and I went to get drinks and he came up to me and started hitting on me. I told him that I was with someone and left. Later the girls and I went to the rest room and when we came back out he was waiting for us," I said as I started to cry. "He asked me to dance and again I turned him down. He grabbed me and took me out. . .to the back alley. . .and began to rape me," I said slowly because I could barely talk.

"I'm so sorry sweetie. I had no idea," she said as she cried.

"It's okay. Hold on just a second," I said getting up. I set the phone down on the bed and walked out. I went into the bathroom and grabbed the roll of toilet paper and then went back into the room. I blew my nose and then dried my tears.

"Okay. Just had to calm myself down a bit," I said smiling. "Any ways, Kevin beat the crap out of the guy and then some idiot was taking pictures. He was going to sell them, so Nick broke the camera and ruined the film. The guys had to go to the police station, but everything was cleared up. Lou was worried that they or actually Kevin would get a bad reputation," I said.

"So Lou didn't even care that you had gotten hurt?" she asked.

"No. He thought I was trying to get the guys in trouble on purpose," I said.

"That bastard! I would've strangled him!" she exclaimed.

"Yeah well, if it makes you feel any better Kevin almost did," I said.

"So how are you?" she asked.

"Well I have my moments. It's only been a few days so we'll see. The worst is at night though. I have these terrible nightmares and I wake up screaming and crying," I said.

"What happens in these dreams?" she asked.

"Um. . .I don't really want to talk about it," I said.

"Okay, but if you ever do want to talk you can always talk to me," she said.

"Thanks Mama," I said. "Well the reason for calling is because Kevin wanted me to come back to Lexington with him for Thanksgiving."

"That's wonderful," she said.

"So you wouldn't mind if I came?" I asked.

"Are you crazy? I'd love to see you. I've missed you and so has Kevin. This will be the happiest Thanksgiving ever. But what about your parents?" she asked.

"Please don't let them know that I've talked to you or that I plan on coming down for Thanksgiving. I'm still debating whether or not to see them," I said.

"Sure. I won't tell them. We hardly even talk anymore," she said. "You probably don't want to talk to them because you ran away, right?"

"Yeah, I'm kind of afraid," I said.

"Why did you leave?" she asked.

Knock! Knock!

"Hold on Mama," I said into the phone. "Yeah, it's open!"

Then Nick came in and asked, "Do you know where the toilet paper is, Janel?"

"Oh, sorry," I said tossing it to him.

"Thanks," he said while walking out.

"Okay sorry Mama. What were you saying?" I asked.

"Why did you leave?" she asked.

"That's a long story that I'd rather not get into right now. Okay," I said.

"Okay, but I think there's something that you should know," she said seriously.

"What? What's wrong?" I asked worriedly.

"It's your mom," she said.

"What about my mom?" I asked as a million terrible thoughts raced through my mind.

"She has cancer," she said softly.

"What? No, she can't!" I exclaimed.

"I'm sorry sweetie, but she's had it for a few years now," she said.

"How bad is it?" I asked.

"The doctors told her that she only has a few months left to live," she said.

"Just a few months? Can't they help her? Have they done everything? There has to be something they can do for her!" I said as I began to cry.

"I'm sorry Janel. They've done everything they can for her. She's been fighting this for about the past four years and now it's just taken over," she said.

"Are you sure?" I asked while crying.

"Yes, Pumpkin," she said sadly. "I hope you'll visit her and your dad when you come for Thanksgiving. They've been through a lot and would be thrilled to see you again."

"Is Jerry taking care of my mom?" I asked, worried that she was all alone.

"Yes, he's been by her side through all of it and he still is," she said.

"Well I better let you go. It's getting late," I said as I quietly cried.

"I'm sorry if I've upset you. It's just that I thought you should know," she said.

"No, it's okay. Thank you for telling me," I said. "Bye, Mama Ann. It was nice talking to you. I'll make sure to keep in touch."

"Please do and take care of my little boy," she said.

"You know I will. Bye, love you," I said.

"Love you too. Bye!" she said.

I hung up the phone and then sat there staring at it. I decided that I didn't want to stay up any more. So I grabbed my pajamas and went into the bathroom to change. I changed and then wiped my eyes. I didn't want Kevin to know that I had been crying. I went back into the room and threw my clothes by my bag. I took Cozy Bear out and threw him on the bed. Then I went into the kitchen.

"Kevin. I'm going to bed now. Where can I get a pillow?" I asked.

"They're in the storage compartment below A.J.'s bunk. Here let me get it for you," he said.

"No, that's okay. I'll get it. Night guys," I said walking away.

"Night Janel," they said.

Kevin looked at them funny and then got up. I was getting a pillow from the compartment when Kevin came up to me. "So how'd it go?"

"Great," I said.

"So what's wrong?" he asked.

"I don't want to talk anymore tonight Kevin. I just want to sleep," I said walking back to the room.

"Okay. Do you want me to lay with you?" he asked.

"No. I just want to be alone," I said looking at Kevin. I could tell he was a little hurt, so I said, "Tuck me in please."

"Okay," he said.

I climbed in bed and grabbed my bear. Kevin covered me and then bent down and kissed my forehead. I grabbed his head and placed his lips onto mine. He was surprised at first, but then he began to kiss me. Then I hugged him.

"Night Kevin. I love you," I said.

"Good night Janel. I love you. If you need anything you just come and get me," he said. "Okay?"

"Okay," I said.

Then he shut the light off and closed the door behind him. I waited until Kevin was back with the guys and then I cried my heart out. I laid in bed crying.

'How could my precious mother be dying? The thought was to hard to comprehend. Why her? I needed her. I needed my mommy. Why couldn't it be Jerry?' I thought.

After a while I eventually cried myself to sleep.

The guys stayed up a little while longer watching television. Then they decided to get some sleep. It had been a long and tiring day. They climbed into their bunks and immediately fell asleep.