Chapter 28

We got into the elevator and waited to go up. Then Denise told the guys the bad news.

"Guys. Lou's waiting for you in my room. He said he couldn't wait any longer, he needs to talk to you right away," she said.

"But it's been such a good day," A.J. said.

"For some people," Nick said standing in the back.

"Kevin, why don't you give me the key? I'll just go to our room and wait for you there," I said.

"No, you can come with me. You're my girlfriend. I'm sure the guys won't mind, right?" Kevin asked.

"Nope. Not at all," Brian said.

"Yeah, but what about Lou? I'm the reason he wants to have this meeting. I don't think it's such a good idea," I said.

"He has to accept that we have personal lives and you're apart of mine. I want to know what he'll say about you being there with me," Kevin said.

"Having you here is not the only reason he wants to talk to us," Howie said.

"Yeah, he's checking up on the rest of our personal lives and giving us a few more restrictions," A.J. said.

"The Boys are right. Plus, the guys aren't seeing some of their money that they've earned. I think it's okay if you go with them, since Kevin wants you there," Denise said.

"Oh okay," I said reluctantly.

Ding!

The bell rang and the doors opened. We got off and headed towards Denise's room. I grabbed Kevin's hand and held it tightly. Denise opened the door and there was Lou sitting on a chair just waiting. We all stood in front of him. He gave me a dirty look as I held Kevin's hand while Densie turned the t.v. off. A.J., Kevin, me, and Brian sat down on the couch. Nick, Howie, and Denise pulled chairs around to form a complete circle facing Lou. We sat down and then came his first question.

"What is she doing here?" he asked rudely.

"Janel is here because the guys and I want her to be," Kevin stated.

"You know what this meeting is about, right?" Lou asked.

"No Lou. Tell us," A.J. said.

"His bitch," Lou said bluntly while pointing to me.

All the guys stood up and began to yell. All of them were up in his face. Denise and I got in between them and pushed the guys back. Denise put her two fingers in her mouth and whistled as loud as she could. Everyone became quiet and looked at her.

"Can we please do this without yelling and name calling? It's not very professional, and Lou, you of all people should know that. What did she do to deserve that from you? Nothing, that's what," Denise said.

I pushed the guys back towards the couch.

"Sit down please," I said.

All of them sat down except for Kevin. Lou wouldn't sit until Kevin did. I took Kevin's face into my hands. I directed his face at me and kissed his nose.

"Sit down, please. I'm okay. In one ear and out the other," I said.

I took his hand and we sat down.

"Okay, Lou. Now go ahead and say what you want to, without the name calling," Denise said.

"She and the rest of the girlfriends are causing problems. They distract the guys, make the fans angry, and get the guys into some situations which the press could tear them apart with," Lou said while staring at me the whole time. "They're going to ruin the guys' careers!" he exclaimed.

"Yeah, which translates into you losing money," Howie said.

"Is that all you think about? Your precious money," A.J. said.

"You don't even really care about us," Nick said.

"You guys don't really love these girls and you know it. You know you could have anyone you want. You're just doing this to piss me off," Lou said angrily.

"You bastard! What do you think I am? Some whore that just goes around fucking the guys for their money!? You don't know a damn thing about me or my relationship with Kevin! So keep your fat ass out of our business!" I yelled while standing up.

Then I grabbed the key out of Kevin's pocket and left the room. I couldn't handle it any longer. I already had enough problems to deal with and I didn't need anymore. I slammed the door of mine and Kevin's room. I laid down on the bed and stared at the ceiling. I could hear them yelling at times, so I decided to find my discman. I grabbed my backpack out and got out Cozy Bear, my discman, and my Limp Bizkit CD. I was in a bad mood and I need some way to express my feelings, so I chose Limp Bizkit. I put the headphones on and laid down on the bed with Cozy Bear.

The guys continued the meeting. They argued over their privacy and personal lives. Then they told Lou about the money situation. He said he didn't know what they were talking about. So Denise pulled out some papers and showed him. He told them that someone had just probably made an error somewhere. Of course he sat there for a while staring at the papers trying to think of something to tell them.

About 9 o'clock the meeting finally ended. Both sides were disgusted with each other. Lou left and the guys stayed in Denise's room for a few minutes.

"Denise get ahold of those lawyers," Kevin said angrily.

"Don't worry, I will. He makes me so angry treating my boys that way," she said.

"We agree that we must get out of our contract with Lou, right?" Kevin asked.

"Definitely," Brian said.

"Yes, very soon," Howie said.

"Yes. I don't want him ruining our careers," Nick said.

"Oh hell yeah!" A.J. said. His mom just looked at him. "Oh sorry Mom."

"Okay. I'm glad we all agree," Kevin said. "I'm going to go check on Janel now. I could have just killed him for saying those things to her."

"Actually, I'm surprised Lou didn't end up walking away with some sort of bruise," Denise said.

"Believe me, I wanted to beat the crap out of him. But I promised Janel I wouldn't hit him," Kevin said.

"That girl's got quite an effect on you," Denise said.

"Yep, she does," Kevin said while walking to the door.

"Night Kevin," Denise said.

"Night Denise," Kevin sad as she walked out the door.

The rest of the guys also said good night to Denise. Then they went to Nick's room while Kevin went to his. He pulled out his extra key and opened the door. The lights were on but there wasn't a sound in the room. The bedroom door was closed so he decided to go there. He opened the door and saw Janel sleeping. She was lying in the middle of the bed holding Cozy Bear with her headphones on. Kevin smiled and then went over and took the headphones off of her. He shut the CD player off and set it on the night stand. Then he sat down on the bed and began to play with Janel's hair.

I felt Kevin's fingers running through my hair. I rolled over and rested my head on his leg.

"Morning Pumpkin," he said.

I looked up at him and smiled. Then I rolled onto my other side and closed my eyes.

"Oh no you don't," Kevin said.

He laid down next to me and pulled me into his arms. Then he turned me around so I was facing him. I just laid there and stared deep into his eyes. I put my hand on his cheek and he held it there. Then he took my hand off and kissed it. I traced my fingers over his soft lips. He opened his mouth and took one of my fingers into his mouth and began to suck on it. I smiled and he pulled my body up against his. Then we began to kiss. At first it was light but then we began to deepen our kiss. He put his hands on my sides touching my skin. We continued to kiss as he began to slowly move my shirt up.

I immediately broke away from the kiss.

"I'm sorry Kevin. I can't do this," I said as I began to cry.

I quickly got up and locked myself in the bathroom.

"Janel!" Kevin said.

I turned on the hot water in the shower. Then I got in.

"Janel, please come out," Kevin pleaded.

I ignored him. I let the water run down my back as I silently cried. I couldn't handle him touching me like that. It wasn't that I didn't want him to or that I didn't like it, it was just that I still felt dirty from Jerry. I needed to wash that feeling off of me.

Kevin continued to knock on the door and call for me. But I continued to ignore him. I slowly took my shower. Then I got out and dried myself off. I wrapped a towel around me and opened the door. As soon as I opened the door Kevin was standing there. I walked past him and went to grab some clothes. I continued to cry lightly as I got my pajamas. Then I took my clothes and went back into the bathroom to change. Once I had changed I went back out.

Kevin was sitting on the bed staring at the t.v. that was on mute. I got on the bed and crawled into his arms.

"Janel, I'm sor. . .," Kevin began, but I placed my fingers over his lips.

"Don't apologize. You didn't do anything wrong," I said. "Kevin, none of this is your fault. Believe me I want to make love to you, but I'm not ready. With all the things that have happened recently, I just can't."

"I understand," Kevin said.

"Please don't doubt my love for you Kevin. I love you, always and forever," I said while hugging him tightly.

"Always and forever," Kevin repeated.

"Thank you," I said quietly while lightly crying.

He kissed the top of my head. Then he just held me and let me cry. I felt so worthless.

Then someone came to the door.

Knock! Knock!

I sat up and wiped my tears away.

"Hold on!" yelled Kevin. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'll be fine. You go answer the door. I'll be there in a second," I said getting up.

I went into the bathroom and wiped my eyes. I looked at myself in the mirror trying to make sure that you couldn't tell I had been crying.

Kevin opened the door and there were the guys. He let them in and closed the door.

"We're hungry," Nick said.

"We are debating whether to go out or stay in," Brian said.

"Hey, where's Janel?" A.J. asked.

"She'll be out in a minute," Kevin said.

"So how is she after the meeting with Lou?" Howie asked quietly.

"I'm fine," I said as I came out into the room.

"Oh, hi Janel," Howie said.

"Thanks for asking though," I said as I hugged him. "So what's up?"

"The guys are hungry and want to know if we want to go out or order in," Kevin said.

"Well, I'd prefer to stay in, but Kevin if you want to go out with the guys that's fine. I don't feel like getting dressed again," I said.

"Actually, I just want to be with you. So if you're staying in then so am I," Kevin said.

"Ordering in sounds good to me," A.J. said. "What do you think, Nick?"

"I don't care. As long as I get food," he said.

"Looks like we're ordering in," Brian said.

"Okay now the hard part. What's everybody want?" Howie asked.

We all gave our suggestions. We couldn't all agree on one thing. A.J. and Kevin wanted Chinese. Howie and I wanted Mexican food. And as usual, Nick and Brian wanted pizza. So we ended up ordering three different things.

"It'll be about 45 minutes," Kevin said as he hung up.

"What are we going to do until then?" Nick whined.

"Oh, I know," I said as I ran back into my room to get something. "We can play Skip-Bo!" I said happily as I showed them the card game I had brought.

"What's that?" Nick asked.

"It looks like an old ladies game," A.J. said.

"Hey! I used to play this with my grandpa. Then I taught Brian and Kevin and we used to play it," I said.

"Janel, it looks kind of gay," A.J. said.

"Well maybe you look kind of gay," I said.

The rest of the guys began to laugh.

"Bone, you set yourself up for that one," Howie said.

"Sorry, A.J.. I couldn't resist," I said smiling at him.

"What? You think I look stupid?" A.J. asked.

"No A.J., you don't look stupid. You look like. . .um. . .well, A.J.. You're just a very unique person," I said.

"Thanks. I think," A.J. said.

"Okay, so can we play? Just until the food gets here," I said.

"Yeah, let's play. Last time we played this Brian was losing pretty badly to us," Kevin said.

"Oh yeah, that's right," I said.

"Must we reminisce," Brian said.

"Um, yeah," I said.

"Let's just play," Brian said.

We moved the table and luggage out of the way. Then we formed a big circle on the ground. Brian, Kevin, and I taught the guys how to play. The we began to play. We played a couple of games until the food arrived.

We grabbed the food we ordered and then we sat back down on the ground. We talked about some of the old times Kevin, Brian, and I had shared. Then they told me about some of the things that had happened to them. They told me about the countries they loved and the people they had met. Howie and A.J. told me about stores that were great to shop in. Kevin told me about the food, Brian told me about the sites to see, and Nick told me about the best places by the water.

After we had finished eating, we turned the t.v. on. Armageddon was on so we watched that. Kevin and I snuggled close together. The rest of the guys spread out all over the floor and laid down.

We watched the movie until 11:00 when it was over. The guys slowly got up and headed towards the door.

"Night guys. Thanks for playing Skip-Bo with me," I said.

"No problem," A.J. said.

"Night Kevin and Janel," Brian said.

"Night guys," Kevin said while sitting on the couch.

I closed the door and went back over to Kevin. I reached out my hand to help him up. He took it and then I tried to pull him up. He just sat there.

"Maybe two hands," Kevin said.

So I reached out my other hand to him. Once again I pulled him as hard as I could, but this time he pulled me onto his lap.

"Now Boo, how are we supposed to make it to the bedroom?" I asked.

"Like this," he said.

Then he stood up with me in his arms. He walked into the bedroom and I shut the door behind us. He placed me on the bed. Then he went to change while I pulled back the covers. I laid there waiting for him. Kevin came back out and laid down in bed. Then he shut the light off.

We kissed each other good night and then he held me. I laid in the dark thinking.

"Kevin?" I asked.

"Yeah," he said.

"Are you mad at me?" I questioned.

"Mad at you, for what?" he asked.

"For not making love to you," I said.

"No, I'm not mad at you. I'm mad at myself for moving too fast. I should have known that you're not ready for that," Kevin said.