Chapter 29

Both of us fell asleep quickly. We were extremely tired and Kevin had another full day ahead of him.

Then about 2 a.m. I laid in bed completely awake. A terrible nightmare had woken me up. I laid there for half an hour afraid to go back to sleep, so I decided to get up. I took Kevin's arm off of my waist and got up. I grabbed my backpack and walked out of the room. I silently closed the door behind me.

I sat on the couch and turned on a single light. I pulled out a brand new journal. I had brought it just for the tour. I knew a lot would be happening and I wanted to write down as much as I could. I put the pen on the paper and my mind went to work.

Entry 1

Then there's my parents I have to worry about. My beautiful mom is dying. Just writing that makes it so much harder to comprehend. I don't believe it or understand it. How did God pick her? Why did he pick her? I just don't understand it. She never did anything wrong. She always took care of me and Jerry and never complained, no matter how bad things got. The only good thing is that Jerry's been taking care of her, supposedly. Now I have to go back and see her, which means seeing Jerry also. Maybe Kevin is right. Maybe I need to show Jerry that I'm moving on with my life. But it just hurts all over again when I think about Jerry or anything that happened.

I finished the last few thoughts quickly because I was beginning to get tired. It was 5 o'clock when I climbed back into bed. I closed my eyes and feel asleep quickly.

About 7:45 am, Kevin woke up. He didn't have anything to do until about noon. He wanted to wake Janel up but he decided not to. He knew that she probably hadn't had a good night. He wanted her to get as much rest as she could. So he decided to go work out in the gym.

He quietly got up and changed. He grabbed his key and left. He had to work out some of his frustration. He was upset with Lou for accusing him of not really loving Janel. Lou had no right to attack Janel or him. Kevin walked into the gym and started to lift weights. Then he became frustrated with himself for moving too fast with Janel. He knew what she had been through and what had just recently happened to her. And yet he still continued to kiss her and then he got carried way. He knew that she wasn't ready, but he just wanted her so badly. Then Kevin went over to the punching bag. He began to hit it as hard as he could. He imagined that it was Lou or Jerry that he was hitting.

I woke up and Kevin wasn't there. I looked at the clock and it was nine. I decided to get dressed just in case we were going somewhere. I changed and did my hair. Then I did my make-up. Just as I finished Kevin walked in through the door. He came in and took his shirt off revealing his sweaty chest. Then he sat down on the couch leaning his head back and closing his eyes.

I walked out and stared at him. He looked so sexy just sitting there. Then I walked over to him and sat on his lap.

"Good morning sexy," I said as he looked at me.

He smiled. Then he gave me a tight hug.

"Oh Kevin! You're all sweaty! Let go of me. I just got dressed," I said.

I continued to whine while he held me. Then he shut me up by placing his lips on mine. He kissed me and then smiled.

"Hey mister. Do you think that's always going to shut me up?" I asked.

"Yep," he said.

"Okay, maybe it will. But that's not the point," I said smiling. "So where'd you go?"

"Oh, I just went to the gym. You were sleeping so peacefully, I didn't want to wake you," he said.

"So did you get a good work out?" I asked.

"Yeah," Kevin said.

"Okay. Well go take your shower because your stinky," I said.

"Oh you don't love me," he said.

"Oh no, I love you, but I'm not finding your odor very attractive," I said getting up.

"Fine then. I'll go take a shower," Kevin said.

"Thank you," I said. "Oh Kevin, who would have a computer?"

"I think Howie has mine, and if not, ask Denise," he said while walking back into the bathroom.

"Okay," I said.

I grabbed my key and left. I went down the hall and knocked on Howie's door. Then he opened the door.

"Hi Janel. Come in," he said while letting me in.

"I came to see if you have Kevin's computer," I said.

"Yeah. Let me just go find it," he said walking into his room. He searched through his luggage and found it. Then he brought it out to me.

"Thanks Howie," I said.

"No problem," he said. "So what do you two plan on doing for breakfast?"

"I'm not sure. Kevin just got in the shower. I'll ask him when he gets out and then I'll let you know," I said.

"Okay. Well I'll talk to you later," Howie said.

"Thanks again, Howie," I said as I walked out the door and to my room.

I set it down on the table and plugged it in. I signed on and decided to type a few e-mails. I wrote one to Stacey and Lauren. I told them about what it was like being on the bus with the guys. Then I told them about the meeting with Lou. I was sure they'd probably hear it from A.J. and Howie, but I decided to tell them any ways.

Then I wrote an e-mail to Rick. I thanked him once again for giving me the time off. I told him that I was having fun and enjoying my time with Kevin. I decided not to tell him about Lou. He would have just bugged me about it to make sure that I was okay.

Then Kevin came out of the shower with only his towel on.

"Hey Kevin. Come here!" I yelled.

He came out and stood next to me. His chest was still wet and his hair was spiky.

"Yeah," he said.

"Does your mom have an e-mail address?" I asked.

"Yeah just look in my address book," Kevin said. He bent down and found it for me. I leaned forwards and kissed him on the neck.

"Hey, none of that," Kevin said smiling.

"Sorry, I couldn't resist. You look so good and smell so good," I said.

"Thanks," he said. Then he gave me a kiss on the cheek. I ran my fingers through his wet spiky hair.

"Okay, go get dressed," I said.

"Fine," he said walking away.

I watched his butt while he was walking away. It was nice and firm. The towel was so tight you could see everything. Then he got into our room and shut the door.

Then I directed my attention to my e-mail to Mama Ann.

I told her how had made the guys breakfast. And what it was like being on the bus with the guys. Then I told her about the meeting with Lou.

Kevin came back out dressed. I finished up my e-mail and signed off.

"So what are we going to do for breakfast?" I asked.

"There's this little place I know of that we can go to," he said.

"Okay," I said.

"Oh, I'm going to call the guys and see if they want to come. You don't mind do you?" Kevin asked.

"Oh no. Actually I was going to call Howie and let him know, but you can do that," I said while sitting down on the couch next to him.

He called the guys and they all agreed. He hung up the phone and we watched t.v. until the guys arrived. They put on their hats and glasses. We walked out and the bodyguards were outside waiting. We went out the back way to the vans. We got in and drove off. Kevin gave directions to the restaurant.

We got there and not too many people were there. All of us got out and walked in. The girl in the front greeted us and took us to table in the back. I knew she recognized them, so she was nice enough to give us a table in the back. We sat down and all the guys took their glasses and hats off, except for A.J..

"So what's planned for today?" I asked.

"Probably the usual," Kevin said.

"An interview before the show, our sound check, and then the big show," A.J. said.

"What do you plan on doing, Janel?" Nick asked.

"I'm not sure. But before the show I thought I could go out and meet some of the fans," I said.

"And do what?" A.J. asked.

"Could I take one of the bodyguards and collect gifts? The fans have all sorts of things that they'd like to give to you," I said.

"Sure, why not," Brian said. "Oh Kevin, we have that thing to do in Lexington. It's been moved to next week."

"You mean the Healthy Heart Club for Kids?" Kevin asked.

"Yeah. They had to change the date because of our schedules, so it's next week," Brian said.

"Okay, that's fine. Oh wait, what about Janel?" Kevin asked.

"What about me? I go where the bus goes. I'll be with the guys," I said.

"But what about at night?" Kevin asked.

The guys looked at each other puzzled. They didn't understand what Kevin had meant.

"I'll be fine," I said.

"Are you sure?" he asked.

"Kevin, I'm a big girl. I can handle a night without you," I said.

"Maybe one of the guys should stay with you?" Kevin suggested.

"Kevin. No. Look at me. I'm a big girl," I said.

"Fine," Kevin said.

"Thank you," I said.

"Don't worry Train. She'll be in good hands," A.J. said while pulling me close to him.

"A.J., that doesn't help," Kevin said.

"Yeah, I'll be fine with my buddies," I said smiling.

"Okay," Kevin said.

We ordered our food and then continued to talk. We took our time and ate our food peacefully. Then we asked the waitress for our check. She left go get it and then came back. She stood there hesitating whether or not to ask them for their autograph.

"Excuse me. I need to use the rest room," I said while standing up. I walked past her and whispered, "Go ahead and ask them."

Then I went back to the bathroom. I fixed my hair and make-up. Then I walked out to the guys. They were all standing waiting for me.

We walked out and the waitress smiled and said, "Thank you," to the guys.

We got back into the van and headed to the hotel. We passed the front of it and there were lots of fans beginning to surround the front. We drove around to the back. The bodyguards got out and made sure everything was okay. Once it was safe the guys and I got out.

We went up to our rooms. It was A.J.'s turn to do the radio interview. So Kevin and I stayed in our room. We sat on the couch and held each other.

"Janel, I'm sorry about Lou," Kevin said.

"It's okay. I've been called worse," I said.

"Yeah, but you shouldn't have been," Kevin said.

"It's okay, it doesn't bother me," I said.

"Are you sure?" Kevin asked.

"Yes," I said.

"But. . .," Kevin began, but I stopped him by putting my fingers over his mouth.

"No more talking," I said.

Then I sat up straight. I moved to the end of the couch and put my feet on the table. I patted my lap, signaling Kevin to lay down on my lap. He laid down and rested his head on my lap. I stared down at him and ran my fingers through his hair. He smiled and closed his eyes. I continued to do this until I realized he was asleep. I stopped and just stared at him. He looked so cute sleeping. I wanted to get up, but I didn't want to wake him. I knew he was extremely exhausted and he needed all the rest he could get.

Then my cell phone rang. I quickly grabbed it and answered it. "Hello," I said quietly.

"Hi Janel. It's me, Lauren," she said.

"Hi Lauren," I whispered.

"Why are you whispering?" she asked.

"Because Kevin's sleeping. His head is on my lap," I said.

"Oh," she said. "So what happened with Lou? Are you okay?"

"Yeah. I'll explain that later," I said.

"What about the nightmares?" she asked.

"Every night," I said. "Oh something happened the other night, but I'll tell you later."

"Is this not a good time to talk because of Kevin?" she asked.

"Yeah. I'll call you later," I said.

"Okay. Bye, love you," she said.

"Love you, bye," I said then I hung up.