Chapter 30

I sat on the couch for another fifteen minutes. Then I decided to wake Kevin up. We would be leaving soon and I didn't want him to be late. I bent down and kissed his forehead and then made my way to his lips. I kissed him about five times and he wouldn't wake up. I sat up and stared at him and he smiled. He opened his eyes and then sat up. He pulled me to him and kissed me.

"Did you sleep good?" I asked.

"Yes, I did. With you running your hands through my hair, I just relaxed and fell asleep," he said.

"I didn't want to wake you, but we'll be leaving soon," I said.

He looked at his watch. "Yeah, you're right," he said.

We got up and went into the bedroom. I gathered all of my clothes and things. I put them back into my backpack and suitcase. Kevin also picked up his things. We brought our things out by the door. Then we sat down to watch t.v.. After a while the bodyguards came by and picked up our luggage. They took it out to the tour bus. Then they came back again and then we headed to Denise's room. She took all of our keys. Then she wished the guys good luck and we left.

"I thought Denise came to the shows," I said.

"She does. But she usually has other things she needs to do before we leave. After that she comes to the show," Brian said.

"Oh okay," I said.

We got into the van and left for the venue. Once we got there, girls were already starting to wait outside.

I sat down and watched the guys do their sound check. After that they got ready for the concert. They went into the dressing room and changed. I went over to where they had the food set up. I picked up a plate and filled it with vegetables. Then I sat down on the couch. The guys came out and Kevin sat next to me.

"So what are you going to do during the concert?" Kevin asked.

"Well, Lauren called while you were sleeping and I told her I'd call her back. So that's probably what I'll do," I said.

"Oh okay," he said.

"Oh, hey Janel. Tell Lauren I love her," Howie said.

"No problem," I said.

"Guys, it's time," an assistant said while popping her head in.

I gave Kevin a kiss and hugged him. "Good luck. And no more losing your pants!" I said laughing. "You have a girlfriend now."

"Yeah, we'll make sure Kevin only loses his pants for you," A.J. said.

Kevin began to turn red from embarrassment.

"Thanks A.J.. We only need one stripper, and that would be you," I said smiling.

"I know. What are you trying to do Kevin, take my job?" A.J. asked while laughing.

"Okay. I get the point. Let's go A.J.," Kevin said while pulling A.J. by the arm.

"Love you!" I yelled.

"Love you too!" yelled Kevin.

I made myself comfortable on the couch. Then I waited until the guys went on stage to call Lauren. I wasn't even going to attempt to call at the very beginning. The screaming was unbelievable. I could barely hear myself think.

After they sang Larger Than Life, the screams died down slightly. So I called Lauren.

"Hello," she said.

"Hi Lauren," I said.

"Oh hi Janel. Are you at the concert right now? I can hear screaming," she said.

"Yeah," I said.

"Aw! I want to be there," she said.

"Howie says he loves you, if that helps," I said.

"Tell him I love him also. So what's up?" she asked.

"Oh, everything," I said.

Then I told Lauren everything that had happened recently. I hated to burden her with all my problems, but I really needed to tell someone. Besides she was my best friend, she was supposed to listen to my problems. Of course, I would always do the same for her. She helped me to make the right decisions or give me advice. Or she would just listen to me and that was all I needed sometimes. I talked on the phone with her for about an hour and a half or until the concert was over with.

The guys came into the dressing room and went straight for the food.

"Janel, is that Lauren?" Howie mouthed to me.

I shook my head yes.

"Can I talk to her?" he mouthed.

I shook my head yes again.

"Well Lauren I better let you go. Someone else wants to talk to you," I said. "So good bye, I'll talk to you later," I said then I handed the phone to Howie.

The guys showered and ate. Then it was time for us to leave. We got on the bus and settled down. We went into the entertainment room and watched a movie.

The next week and a half flew by. Everyday was the same schedule, but a different city. It was so exciting to see the country and different people.

At the beginnings of the concerts would go out and see some of the fans. They were all so excited to see the Boys in concert. Some of them had books filled with letters and poems for the guys, presents, and plenty of stuffed animals. I told them I was an assistant and would take the stuff to the guys. At first they didn't believe me, so I brought Tommy, the keyboardist, with me to help prove myself. Once they saw him they began to believe me. I got a whole bag full of things for the guys. Then I took pictures of the craziest fans. It was so nice to see how much the guys were loved.

When it was time for the concert I went to the dressing room. I wished Kevin good luck and gave him a kiss and he was off. Then I would help Denise do any extra things. She always had little things for me to do.

The problems with Lou had died down because he went back to Orlando. He was working with his other groups. The guys had decided to meet the lawyers as soon as they got a break.

I still continued to have the nightmares. Every night I would wake up from them. I didn't want to bother Kevin because I knew he was exhausted, so I would get up and watch t.v.. I'd watch t.v. until I got tired again and then I would climb back into bed.

Tonight was the night that Kevin and Brian were leaving. They would leave right after the concert to the airport. Then they would come back the day of the next day concert.

The guys came in the dressing room along with Denise.

"Okay, Kevin and Brian. The limousine is waiting to take you to the airport," Denise said. "Let's go."

"Walk me out," Kevin said.

I took his hand and we walked out with Brian and Denise. I began to lightly cry.

"Bye Brian. Have fun," I said while hugging him.

"Bye Janel," he said. Then he got into the limo.

"Don't cry," Kevin said while wiping my tears away. "Maybe I should stay."

"No, it's okay. You're going to help a good cause and I'm glad. It's just that I remember saying good bye to last time," I said.

"Yeah, well this time it's only for a couple days. I promise," he said.

"You better get going. You're going to be late," I said.

He grabbed me and hugged me. I kissed him and then pushed him towards the limo.

"Love you," I said.

"Love you too," he said.

He was just about to get in when he looked back.

"Don't worry Kevin. We'll take care of her," Denise said.

"Thank you," Kevin said.

Then he got into the limo. I watched it drive away and then Denise and I left for the tour bus.

I got on and went to the bathroom. I blew my nose and wiped my eyes. Then I went into the entertainment room where the guys were.

"Hi Janel. Want to play Skip-Bo?" A.J. asked.

I laughed. "Sure, why not," I said.

I sat down and played Skip-Bo with the guys. We played for about an hour. Then Howie and A.J. went to call their families, so Nick and I played a little Nintendo.

"I won!" I yelled. After playing Nick at least ten times, I had finally managed to win.

"Just because I'm tired," Nick said.

"Oh, is it past Nicky's bed time?" I asked.

"So what if it is," he said.

"Okay, we can stop playing now, since I finally won," I said.

"Sounds good to me. I'm exhausted," Nick said.

We put the game away and then he helped me pull out the bed. I went to the storage bunk and pulled out my pillow and blanket. I brought them back and placed them on my bed. Nick left the room to change. I went out to the table where Howie and A.J. were talking.

"I'm going to bed now," I said. "Night A.J.," I said while giving him a hug.

Then I went over to Howie and gave him a hug. "Night Howie," I said.

"Night Janel," they said.

"If you need anything, you know where we sleep," A.J. said.

"Thanks," I said while walking away.

I went into my room and Nick was sitting on the bed.

"Good night Janel," Nick said.

"Night Nick," I said.

I gave him a hug and then he left closing the door behind him. I sat down and got my journal out. I wrote in it for about half an hour and then I went to sleep.

Again I woke up from a nightmare. I sat up and stared into the darkness. Then I got up and looked out the window. I watched the passing cars.

I wanted my mom to be with me. I missed talking to her or just hearing her voice. I wanted to see her again. But that house brought back so many bad memories. Of all the memories that were there, I could only seem to remember the bad ones. But I had to see her because she is dying. The thought of her dying hurt so much and it seemed so unreal. But if it was true I had to see her.

I was getting tired of thinking so I laid back down. I closed my eyes and held onto my bear.