Chapter 36

"So Janel, why'd you call us here?" Ashley shouted.

Everyone got quiet and stared at me. I had moved by the fireplace. I was sitting on the stone ledge with the tissue box next to me. Kevin looked at me. Then he walked away from Tim and Jerald Jr. and sat next to me. He put his hands on my face and focused my eyes onto his. He lightly pressed his lips against mine. I kissed him then I looked into his eyes.

"Go ahead," he whispered.

I turned back around and faced everyone. They were all staring at us wondering what was going on. I looked at Lauren and Nick and they both smiled. They knew what I was doing and they were there to support me. I gathered up the nerve and began to speak.

"You're all probably wondering why I called all of you down here, huh?" I said smiling.

They smiled and nodded their heads yes.

"Well I have to explain a few things," I said.

Then I stopped and took a deep breath. Kevin grabbed my hand and I continued.

"Guys this will explain most of my moods or actions since I've been on tour with you. Stacey this'll explain why I used to get up at all hours of the night. And most of all, it'll explain my reason for leaving," I said as my voice began to shake.

I cleared my throat and squeezed Kevin's hand. He squeezed my hand to let me know that he was there for me.

"The reason for my leaving is. . . ," I began but then I stopped. "Oh god. I don't know if I can do this," I said as tears caught in my throat.

"It's okay. We're all here for you," Lauren said.

I smiled at her and continued, but not before tears began to fall.

"I left my home when I was seventeen because I almost died," I said.

Everyone looked at me puzzled.

"What?" exclaimed Ann.

"Jerry, my so called dad, almost killed me," I said.

"How?" Brian asked.

"He beat and raped me," I said. Then I completely broke down into tears.

Kevin grabbed me and wrapped his arms around me. He was also crying. Everyone was shocked especially Kevin's family. Tears were forming in everyone's eyes.

"But why?" Ashley asked as she cried.

I looked up at her and answered, "I don't know. He said that it was my punishment."

"For what though?" Ashley asked.

"He was convinced that I was sleeping with Kevin, so he'd punish me for that," I said.

"Did you, sleep with Kevin?" Brian asked.

"Never," I replied. "And I think deep down he knew it. But when the alcohol got to him there was no reasoning with him."

"How often did he do this to you?" Ann asked angrily.

"Pretty much any time my mom wasn't home," I said.

"For how long?" she asked.

"For two years," I said.

Everyone gasped.

"What made you leave on prom night?" Ashley asked.

"While I was lying there and being beaten I knew I had to leave before he did kill me. I couldn't deal with it any longer. I had to leave," I said.

"Two years and you never told anyone?" Brian asked shocked.

"How come Kevin didn't know?" asked Jerald Jr..

"Yeah, you and him were always together," Tim said.

"I hid it from everyone," I said.

Ann got up and went for the phone.

"What are you doing?" I asked chasing after her.

"I'm calling the police," she said angrily.

"No, don't. Put down the phone," I said placing my hand on the receiver.

"But that piece of shit deserves to be punished!" Ann exclaimed.

"I know," I said. "Please put down the phone."

She looked at me and slowly put it down. We walked back into the living room.

"How come you didn't tell anyone?" Stacey asked as she wiped away her tears.

"I was afraid to. He had threatened to kill me if I did tell anyone. So I kept my mouth shut," I said. "I also thought he would hurt my mom or Kevin if I did anything."

"So Kevin didn't know about this?" Brian asked.

"No, not until I left. I wrote him a letter telling him why I had left," I said.

"Does your mom know?" Ann asked.

"No, I kept it from her," I said. "I came back to Lexington to move on with my life. I have to face Jerry in order for me to move on."

They all stared at me still processing what I had told them.

"Janel, I'm so sorry," A.J. said.

He got up from the floor and came over to hug me. One by one they came over to me hugging me and crying. Last was Mama Ann, she just held me as we cried.

"I'm so sorry dear. You should have told your Papa and me," she said. "We would have taken care of you."

"I know you would have," I said.

I let go of her and looked at everyone.

"I want to thank all of you for taking care of me. Each one of you have done something for me in your own special way. You've given me a family that I haven't had in years. Now I finally know where I belong and that you guys will take care of me," I said.

They began to cry again.

"Oh please no more crying. We're running out of tissue and I'm sure Mama Ann would still like to have toilet paper in the bathrooms," I said smiling.

They all smiled at me. Then Kevin gave me a big hug.

"I'm proud of you," he said.

"Thank you for being here for me," I said.

Kevin got up and then helped me up.

"If you'll excuse us, Janel and I have something to do," Kevin said.

"Sure, just drop a bomb on us and leave," Ashley said smiling.

"Yeah, that's basically what I planned," I said walking over to her.

She gave me another hug.

"Brian and I are going to leave now. Okay?" she asked. "Or should I stay? Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm okay. I feel better," I replied. "Go ahead and leave. We'll see you tomorrow."

Then Brian came over to me and gave me a hug.

"I can't believe you," Brian said. "You should have told me."

"It's okay Brian. I'm fine now," I said. "Go spend some time with Ashley."

They waved good bye to everyone and left.

Kevin had gone up to his room. He grabbed a couple of jackets and came back down stairs.

"Okay, are you ready?" he asked.

"Sure," I said.

He handed me the jacket and I put it on. Then he put his on.

"Good night everyone, if I don't see you later," I said.

We all told each other good night. Then Kevin and I went out into the backyard.

"Where are we going?" I asked.

"Our clubhouse," he said.

We walked silently to the clubhouse holding hands. Once we got there I began to go inside, but he stopped me.

"What?" I asked.

"I wanted to just look at the beautiful stars tonight," he said.

"Oh, okay," I said.

I looked up at the roof.

"Boost," I said.

He set his hands out for me to step on. I placed my foot on his hands and my hand on his shoulder.

"1, 2, and 3," he said as he helped me up.

I got up and scooted over for him to get on. He jumped up a little bit holding onto the edge. Then he climbed on top. He walked to the very top and sat down. I followed him and sat in front of him. He put his arms around me then rested his head on top of mine.

The moon was out and shining brightly. The stars were twinkling in the great big sky. There was a light breeze in the fresh air. And the only thing that could be heard was our heart beats.

I cleared my mind of every thought. I just wanted to spend the moment in peacefulness. Neither of us said a word. We didn't need to. We knew how much we loved each other.

I closed my eyes. Then I turned my head against Kevin's chest. The steady beat of his heart began to lull me to sleep. Then a cold breeze blew through my hair. I shivered at the cold air.

"Let's go inside," Kevin said quietly.

"Okay," I said.

We stood up. He walked to the edge and got off. Then he helped me down.

"Let's just sleep in here tonight," Kevin said.

"Okay," I said.

He then opened the door for me. I walked in and looked around the room. It had become a room filled with memories. There were pictures everywhere of us as children. He had a map and postcards of where he had been to. He had pictures of him and the guys when they were out on tour. There were pictures of his family and especially his dad. And on the shelves he had some awards that he had won.

I walked around the room gazing at all of the pictures. My favorite picture was of Kevin and his dad. The two of them were playing football and Kevin had tackled his dad. They were both laughing hysterically. There was so much joy in that one picture.

"Kevin, tomorrow I want to go see Papa," I said turning to look at him. "By myself."

"Are you sure?" he asked.

"Yes, I want to say good bye to my one and only father," I said.

"Okay," Kevin said.

He grabbed a piece of paper and wrote the information down. Then he placed it on top of the t.v..

"Thank you Kevin," I said.

He smiled at me. Then he went to the closet and grabbed a couple of blankets. I took my shoes and jacket off and threw them on the chair. He threw the two blankets on top of the bed. Then he took his jacket and shoes off. We pulled the covers back and climbed in. He turned the light off. Then we snuggled close together to keep each other warm. I feel asleep instantly listening to Kevin breathe.

In the morning I woke up in Kevin's arms. I sat up and ran my fingers through his hair. Kevin began to wake up. I continued until he finally opened his eyes.

"Happy Thanksgiving," I said.

"Happy Thanksgiving," he said.

Then he pulled me back into his arms. We threw the covers over our head. Then we laid there keeping warm.

After we had been lying there for a while I said, "Okay, time to get up. I have things to do."

I pulled the covers back. I sat up getting ready to get out of bed.

"Like what?" Kevin asked.

"Well, I planned on helping your mom make dinner. And I wanted to go see your dad," I said.

"Oh yeah, that's right," Kevin said.

"Do you have anything planned today?" I asked.

"Nope. I'm just going to spend time with my family," Kevin said as he sat up.

"Well then, we better go get cleaned up," I said.

"I guess," Kevin said.

We got up and put our shoes on. We made the bed and put the blankets away. Then we put our jackets on and headed into the house. We opened the back door and the smell of food came rushing out. We walked into the kitchen where Ann was already cooking.

"Good morning Mom," Kevin said as he went and gave her a hug.

"Morning Mama," I said.

"Good morning you two," she said. "Where did you two disappear to last night?"

"We just went to our clubhouse," Kevin said.

"Yeah, I needed a little fresh air," I said.

"Yeah, I'm sure," Ann said. "I'm surprised you guys are up, especially you Kevin."

"Yeah, well. . .," Kevin said.

"I made him get up. I told him that I had things to do. And he said he's going to spend time with his family," I said.

"Oh, and what do you have to do?" Ann asked.

"Well, I wanted to help you with Thanksgiving dinner," I said.

"Oh, good because we've got a lot of family here this time," Ann said happily.

"I'll help you as soon as I come back. I have to go somewhere first. Okay," I said.

"Yeah, that's fine," she said.

I kissed Kevin on the cheek and went upstairs. I went into Kevin's room. I pulled my suitcase on to his bed and grabbed my clothes. Then I went to the bathroom and took my shower.