Chapter 6

Ring! Ring! Ring!

I slowly opened my eyes. Then everything that had happened last night came flooding back to me. I automatically burst into tears.

The phone stopped ringing and I could hear my dad yelling.

"Hello?" he asked.

"Hi, Mr. Evans, this is Kevin," he said politely.

"What do you want?" Jerry asked rudely.

"Damn, right it won't! She is not to see you or talk to again! I will decide if and when she sees you again! Now don't call or come over here!" Jerry yelled and then immediately hung up, leaving Kevin shocked.

Kevin stared at the phone and then hung up.

'How can he do that to me? She's my best friend, I can't just stop talking to her. I'll stop by her window tonight to make sure she's okay. I can't believe he got so upset. She was just a little past curfew and she was with me. Doesn't he know that I will always take care of her?' Kevin thought.

I turned and looked at the clock. It was 10 o'clock in the morning and my mom was already at work. She worked six days a week and Sunday nights.

I held my Cozy Bear and tried to calm myself down.

I knew Kevin had probably called to apologize, but unfortunately he made the mistake of calling when my dad or Jerry was home. I never wanted to think of Jerry as my dad again. My real dad was Papa Jerald because he would never hurt me. Unfortunately, I still have to call Jerry, Dad, when my mom's home because she can never find out about this. It would break her heart and she already has enough to worry about.

'I have to make sure that I go sleep early, just in case Kevin comes to my window. I can't let him see me like this. He'll know that something's wrong and he'll bug me until he finds out,' I thought.

Finally I forced myself to get up. Once I got up I looked around my room and on my bed. A few things had been knocked off my night stand during the night. There was also blood on my sheets and pillow. I picked up the things that had been knocked off my night stand. Then I took the sheets off of my bed and went to go throw them in the washer. It took all of my strength to turn the doorknob and go downstairs, knowing that Jerry would be down there. But I knew that I had to clean up, so that my mom wouldn't suspect anything.

I went downstairs and to the laundry room. Unfortunately, the only way to get there was through the kitchen and Jerry was sitting in there. He was reading his newspaper and drinking his coffee. I walked through the kitchen hoping or actually praying, that he wouldn't notice me, but it didn't happen.

"Good morning, sweetheart," he said warmly.

I couldn't believe he was acting like nothing ever happened. Last night he was hitting me and taking everything away from me. He was so furious with me, and now he was calm and seemed to have a different personality.

"Honey, do you want me to make you breakfast?" he yelled.

"Um, no thanks. I'm not hungry," I yelled back.

I walked out into the kitchen. Then I grabbed an orange juice from the refrigerator.

"So, who called this morning?" I asked, knowing it was Kevin.

"Kevin," he said coldly.

I could see his anger rising and his other personality starting to come out.

"You know you are not to see or speak to him," he said.

"Yes, I know," I said as I headed towards my room, before he got really mad.

I needed someone to talk to, but I couldn't tell anyone. So I turned on my computer and pulled out my disk and put it into the computer. Then I pulled up my file with my diary on it. I typed in it for two hours, until my fingers started to hurt. Then I decided to take a shower.

I grabbed another pair of pajamas and then I jumped into the shower. My back hurt badly from the belt. My lip also hurt a little, but it wasn't too bad. I stood there in the shower feeling all alone in the world. The water and tears ran down my face blending together. I began to wash myself. I scrubbed myself as hard as I could. I wanted Jerry off of me. I didn't want the touch or smell of him on me ever again.

Once I got out of the shower, I was tired emotionally and physically. So I grabbed a blanket from my closet, a pillow, and Cozy Bear, and laid down on the floor. I lightly cried myself to sleep.

Knock! Knock!

I sat straight up fearing that it was Jerry. I looked at the clock and it was 5 o'clock.

"Daughter, it's time for dinner," came my mom's voice through the door.

I breathed a sigh of relief.

"Are you up?" my mom asked.

"Yeah, Mom. I'll be down in a few minutes," I said happily, knowing that my mom was home, and I wasn't alone with Jerry anymore.

Luckily for me, it was getting near winter, so I could wear jeans and a long sleeve shirt to cover up the bruises. I got dressed and threw my hair up in a bun. Then I fixed my face, so it didn't look like I had been crying. I quietly went down the stairs and I could hear my parents talking.

"She is not to see or speak to Kevin, until I decide it's okay for her," Jerry stated.

"I'm sure they didn't do anything wrong. If they say they went to the movies then that's what they did. Kevin's a good boy, he takes care of Janel," my mom replied.

"I don't trust him. She's not to see him until I decide. End of discussion Joy," Jerry stated.

I slowly walked in and I could feel the tension in the air. I didn't even want to be in the same room as Jerry, but I had to be strong, for my mom.

"Is everything okay?" I asked.

"Yes, your father and I were just discussing your punishment. You know what your father decided, right?" she questioned.

"Yes, I'm not to see or speak to Kevin, until he decides," I replied calmly, while I was screaming inside.

We sat down at the dinner table and served ourselves. Then we began to eat, but my mom kept staring at me.

"What happened to your lip?" she asked.

As she asked this, my heart skipped a few beats. I slowly looked up from my plate and met Jerry's eyes. They became cold and angry like last night. It was his warning to me, not to tell her or else I would be in big trouble.

I finally looked at my mom and said, "Oh, I was out riding my horse earlier today. She got scared and I fell off and hit my lip on a rock."

I prayed that she bought my answer. Luckily, she did.

"Oh, did you have your dad look at it?" she asked.

"Yeah, she's fine. It'll heal in a couple of days," Jerry said, answering for me.

The rest of dinner was mostly quiet, besides my mom talking to Jerry about work. I probably couldn't have handled my mom asking me any more questions. If she would have, I probably would have broke down into tears.

When I was finished with my dinner I quietly asked, "May I be excused?"

"Sure," replied Jerry.

I got up and took my plate to the sink and began to wash it. Then I put it in the dishwasher.

"Oh, honey. Are you going to church with me tomorrow?" my mom asked.

"Yes. Same time, right?" I asked.

"Yes, 10 o'clock," she answered.

"Okay. Well, I'm going to bed now," I said.

"But it's only 6 o'clock, sweetie?" my mom questioned.

"I know. I'm going to do some homework, and watch t.v. for awhile, then I'll go to bed. I'm just not coming back downstairs later," I explained.

"Oh, okay. Well good night, love you," my mom replied sweetly.

"Night mom and dad, love you," I said, choking out the word dad, as I hurried upstairs.

I knew I had to get sleep before Kevin came up to my window. I put on a movie and tried to get into it, but I couldn't. I watched the two hour movie mindlessly. Too many thoughts were racing through my mind. So after it was over, I went out and grabbed some sheets for my bed and made it.

Then I went to bed at 8:15 p.m.. I laid there and tossed and turned. I looked at the clock and it read 9:20. I had been laying there for about an hour just thinking. Then I heard a light knocking on the window. My heart skipped a beat, realizing it was Kevin. I laid there still and tried to ignore it, but it was no use. He continued to knock, until I got up. I left my light off and opened it.

"Yes?" I whispered coldly.

I didn't mean to sound like that, but I was terrified that my dad would over hear.

"What do you want?" I asked.

"Nice to see you too," he said.

"Well, you're the one who got me in trouble," I said, which I immediately regretted afterwards.

"Sorry. I just came over here to see if you were okay. Obviously you are, so good night," Kevin said feeling hurt, while climbing down the ladder.

"No, wait! Kevin please don't go. I'm sorry I just didn't want to get into more trouble. Boo, please!" I said pleading, but it was too late he had already hopped down.

I closed my window and climbed back into bed.

'I'm so stupid. How can I blame him like that? None of this is his fault, it's all mine. The one person I need the most and now he's mad at me. How could I be so stupid?' I thought.

I closed my eyes and began to fall asleep. But I woke up every hour. The dreams were terrible and I kept reliving the experience over and over again. Each time I would wake up in tears.