Chapter 77

Kevin pulled into the driveway and both of us got out. He came over to me and handed me the keys.

We just stood there staring at each other.

"Um, so can I come in?" he asked, uncertain of my answer.

"Yeah. We have a lot to talk about," I said.

He sighed. "Yeah, I know."

We walked in and turned on a couple of lights.

"Would you like something to drink?" I asked.

"No, I'm fine," he said.

We went into my living room and sat down on the couch. I took my shoes off and sat Indian style facing him. Kevin turned towards me and leaned against the couch.

"Okay, I have. . .," Kevin began.

"Look, I want. . .," I began.

Then both of us stopped.

"Let me go first, okay?" he asked.

"Okay," I said.

"Before you tell me that we have a chance or it's the. . .end. I have to tell you a few things," he said.

I shook my head okay. Then he took a deep breath.

"Janel, Pumpkin, you have to know that I love you more than anything in this world. I mean I've loved you my entire life," he said.

"I am and have been miserable every day that you have been away from me. I need you by my side at night to hold, and in the morning to wake up next to your beautiful face. You're everything to me and now this baby. I don't know what I'd do with myself if you're not in my life."

Kevin wiped away a tear that was about to fall.

"But why, Kevin? I don't understand," I said.

Kevin shook his head.

"I never ever meant to hurt you. . .never. I don't know why. I swear that I didn't do it on purpose. It just kind of happen," he said.

"It just kind of happened?" I questioned.

"I didn't mean it like that. I just meant, well I was drunk and out of my mind. It was completely my fault, I wasn't responsible. But I do know that that's the biggest mistake I've ever made in my life."

"My heart felt like it had been ripped out. I gave you my heart, trusted you, depended on you, and then you betrayed me," I said as the tears slowly rolled down my cheeks. "It felt as though you didn't love me anymore, like I wasn't good enough for you."

"You're all I ever wanted," Kevin said as he placed his hand on my cheek.

I took his hand and held it in mine.

"I know that telling you that I'm sorry is never going to be enough, but I want the chance to show you that I'm sorry," he said.

"Show me that you're sorry?" I questioned.

"Yes. I'll do it with every kiss that I give you, every hug, every time I touch your cheek. And I'll be there anytime you need me, without you even asking, I'll be there. And I promise to take care of you when you're pregnant. I want to be there when our child is first born, and every day afterwards. I want to show you that I love you with every action," he said. "That is, if you'll take me back."

I sat there staring at him as the tears flowed from both of our eyes.

"Please, I'm begging you. I need you more than words can explain," he choked out.

Everything in my heart was telling me to kiss him.

"I promise to always love you. Remember, always and forever," he said.

'No Kevin," I said.

His eyes became wide as his tears continued to fall.

"Don't promise me," I said.

"What do you mean?" he asked, terrified that Janel wasn't going to take him back.

"Show me that you'll always love me," I said.

His whole face lit up as he wiped away his tears.

Then he leaned forward and gently placed his lips on mine.

I wrapped my arms around his neck pulling him close to me as we kissed.

'Oh god how I missed the taste of his sweet lips on mine,' I thought.

Kevin felt her soft skin rest against his neck. He wanted to stay wrapped in her arms forever.

I pulled away from the kiss and smiled.

"I love you Boo," I said.

"I love you more Pumpkin," he said as he smiled.

Then he laid back and pulled me into his arms.

I rested my head on his chest as I continued to cry.

This time thought I wasn't crying because I had lost Kevin, I was crying because I had found my soul mate.

Then Kevin quietly began to sing.

Hush now don't you cry
There will be a better day
I promise you
We can work it out
But only if you let me know
What's on your mind

Baby, I thought it was forever
Through any kind of weather
But some day you will find what you're searching for

Try again
Never stop believing
Try again
Don't give up on your love
Stumble and fall
It's the heart of it all
when you fall down
Just try again

So, lie down, let it go
Hey, you will never be alone
I promise you
If you can't fight the feeling
Surrender in your heart
Remember love will set you free

Baby, I thought it was forever
You and I would always be together
But some day you will find what you're searching for

Try again
Never stop believing
Try again
Don't give up on your love
Stumble and fall
It's the heart of it all
when you fall down
Just try again

Baby when a heart is crying
It sometimes feels like dying
The tear drops fall like rain

Baby, I thought it was forever
You and I would always be together
But some day you will find what you're searching for

Try again
Never stop believing
Try again
Don't give up on your love
Try again
Never stop believing 
Try again

Don't give up on your love
Stumble and fall
Its the heart of it all
When you fall down
Just try again*

I listened to Kevin sing. I knew he had been hurting, both of us were. But now we were going to get back up and try again.

I closed my eyes listening to Kevin's every heart beat.

Kevin kissed the top of Janel's head. Then he grabbed the blanket resting on the couch and covered them with it. Then he turned the light off that was above his head. He tightly wrapped his arms around Janel, never wanting to let go again.

*Song by Westlife