Chapter 94

I gave Ashley another hug. "This is it."

"Finally," she said, smiling. "I can't wait any longer."

I turned around and then watched as the double doors opened.

Jaime looked adorable in her light yellow summer dress as she happily walked down the aisle dropping flower pedals along her way. Next were Ashley's two bridesmaids. Then it was my turn.

I looked out and saw the rows of people. Then I looked towards the front seeing Brian and then Kevin. I immediately locked eye s with Kevin as I slowly began to walk down the aisle. Both of us were smiling.

The entire time I stared at Kevin, I was wishing that it were me that was getting married. Wishing that after today Kevin would be my husband.

Kevin stood in the front, never taking his eyes off Janel as she made her way down the aisle. He was wishing that he was the groom and she was his bride, walking towards him. He wished that he would be the one professing his undying love as Janel and him would stand in front of the minister.

I stood next to the bridesmaids, still keeping eye contact with Kevin.

"I love you," I whispered.

Kevin's face brightened as he replied, "Always and forever."

Then Ashley stood at the doors ready to make her way down the aisle. Everyone rose from their seat and directed their attention to her.

Brian instantly made eye contact with Ashley, his beautiful bride.

Ashley slowly walked down the aisle, only noticing Brian waiting for her. She had seen the rows of people as she watched her bridesmaids, but now she could only see Brian. The whole world seemed to revolve around her and Brian, just for this one magical moment.

Once she reached Brian, he took her hand in his. Then they turned and faced the minister.

"You look beautiful," Brian whispered.

"Thank you," Ashley said, quietly.

The minister began and soon Brian and Ashley were reciting their vows.

I smiled as I watched Brian place the ring on Ashley's finger. Her hands were shaking and she was trying desperately not to cry.

"I now pronounce you man and wife," said the minister.

Brian and Ashley wrapped their arms around each other while they passionately kissed.

Then they turned to everyone, happiness written all over their faces. Friends and family began clapping as Brian and Ashley made their way down the aisle hand in hand.

Next were Kevin and I. He reached out his hand for me to take. Then he escorted me down the aisle. He bent down and kissed the top of my head.

"I love you," he whispered.

"I love you too," I said, smiling up at him.

We followed Brian and Ashley out. He helped her up onto the horse, and then he got on himself.

Everyone cheered as the horse began to slowly walk away. Both Brian and Ashley waved at everyone. Soon the Mercedes Benz convertibles drove up to take us to the guesthouse that had been turned into a large dance floor where the reception was to be held.

All of us were being taken there while Brian and Ashley made their way to the reception on the white horse along the edge of the beach.

"So how does it feel to be Mrs. Littrell?" Brian asked as he twirled his finger in one of Ashley's curls.

She smiled and answered, "Wonderful!"

"I just want to shout it out that you're my wife and I love you," Brian said as he placed his hand on her cheek.

"What's stopping you?" Ashley asked as she took his hand and kissed it.

He smiled and then yelled out, "I love Ashley Littrell!"

She giggled. Then she pulled him to her, kissing him once again.

Eventually everyone made it to the reception. Then Ashley and Brian arrived as we all cheered.

They stopped and began greeting friends and family as others made their way to the dance floor.

"My babies!" yelled someone.

Both Kevin and I turned around to see Ann.

I smiled as I hugged her. "Hi Mama."

"Hi sweetie!" she said. "Look at how big you've gotten since the last time I've seen you."

"I know," I said, smiling.

"Hi sweethearts, your grandma is here," Ann said as he placed her hand on my stomach.

Then she went over to Kevin and hugged him. "Hi my son."

"Hi Mom," he said.

"How have you two been?" she asked.

"Perfect," we replied.

She smiled at us. "That's good."

"So did you get into the house okay?" Kevin asked.

"Yeah, we were fine," Ann said. "But are you sure you don't mind turning your guys' house into a hotel?"

"Mom, you know it's okay," Kevin said.

"Yeah. I wouldn't want you, Jerald, or Tim to stay anywhere else," I said.

"Just as long as we're not inconveniencing you," Ann said.

"Don't worry about it, because you're not," I said.

"Okay," she said.

Then I Need You by Leann Rimes began to play.

"Excuse me Mom, but Janel and I are headed to the dance floor," Kevin said as he took my hand.

"By all means, go ahead," Ann said.

"Thank you," we replied.

Kevin led me to the dance floor. Then he rested his hands on my hips. While I wrapped my arms around his neck, resting my head on his heart.

You're the hope that moves me
To courage again
You're the love that rescues me
When the cold winds rage
And it's so amazing
'Cause that's just how you are
And I can't turn back now
'Cause you've brought me too far

We slowly swayed to the music as we danced.

Once the song had ended the DJ spoke up.

"This next song is for the bride and her father," he said.

Everyone formed a circle around the dance floor, leaving Ashley and Dave in the middle. He smiled as he pulled his daughter into his arms.

Then the song, Butterfly Kisses, began to play.

There's two things I know for sure.
She was sent here from heaven, and
She's daddy's little girl.
As I drop to my knees by her bed at night,
She talks to Jesus, and I close my eyes.
And I thank god for all the joy in my life,
Oh, but most of all, for…

Butterfly kisses after bedtime prayer.
Stickin' little white flowers all up in her hair.
"Walk beside the pony, daddy, it's my first ride."
"I know the cake looks funny, daddy, but I sure tried."
Oh, with all that I've done wrong,
I must have done something right
To deserve a hug every morning, ad butterfly kisses at night.

I smiled as I watched Ashley and her dad dance. He gently wiped away her tears as she wrapped her arms tightly around him. I knew that he had to be sad that he was giving her away because they had always had a strong relationship.

During her teen years she had a hard time getting along with her mom. Whenever she tried to talk to her Mom, they ended up yelling at each other. So she learned to go to her dad instead.

Eventually things with Ashley and her mom got better, but now she had developed a strong relationship with her dad.

She'll change her name today.
She'll make a promise and I'll give her away
Standing in the brides room just staring at her
She asked me what I'm thinking and I said,
"I'm not sure, I just feel like I'm losing my baby girl"
Then she leaned over…and gave me…
Butterfly kisses

As I listened to the lyrics more closely, I realized that those same words had never been true for me, nor would they ever. Jerry wouldn't be at my wedding giving me away. Nor would he be sad that he was giving me away, because I had never been daddy's little girl. I was always daddy's problem, someone who always seemed to be in his way. Never once had he truly cared for me.

Kevin bent down, kissing the top of Janel's head. As he listened to the song, he knew exactly what she was thinking.

I looked up at Kevin and smiled.

He knew what I was thinking of. And with that one little kiss he reminded me that he loved m, even if Jerry didn't.

"Let's take a walk," he said.

I nodded my head in agreement as he took my hand. We walked out of the reception and into the moon lit light.

"Where to Pumpkin?" he asked.

"Wherever you'd like to go," I said.

"All right," he said. Then he took his shoes off. "Let's go for a walk along the beach."

"Okay," I said.

Then he took my hand in his as we began to walk towards the beach. Once we reached the edge of the beach we stood there watching the waves roll in. Then we continued our walk along the beach, stepping on the soft sand as the cool water washed over our feet.

"Want to sit down and enjoy this beautiful sight?" Kevin asked.

"Sure," I said.

We walked up further onto the beach where Kevin stopped and lay his jacket down for us to sit on.

Both of us sat down on the jacket. Then Kevin wrapped his arms around me while I leaned my head back against his chest. We sat there listening to the ocean, and staring at the bright stars in the sky.

"You know what?" Kevin asked.

"What?" I asked.

"You looked beautiful today," he said, kissing my cheek.

"Thank you," I said.

"Pumpkin…" Kevin began.

"Yeah," I said.

"What were you thinking as you walked down the aisle this afternoon?" Kevin asked.

I closed my eyes, picturing his face as I walked down the aisle earlier that day. "I was wishing that I was the bride. That you were standing there waiting for me so we could get married. I was wishing that after tonight you would be my husband."

Kevin smiled. "That's exactly what I was thinking. I imagined you were my bride and we would be getting married."

"Yeah, that would have been nice," I said as I turned my head and snuggled into Kevin's chest.

We sat there in silence for a while as Kevin softly ran his fingers through my hair.

Then he stopped and reached for something in his jacket.

I looked up at him, wondering why he had stopped because I was so enjoying his gentle touch.

He smiled at me as he took my face into his hands, pulling me forward, and placing his lips on mine. He began tracing my lips with his tongue. Then he began to slowly and passionately kiss me.

"Wow," I said as we pulled away, breathless.

He smiled. "Janel…Pumpkin, you know that I love you with my every being, right?"

"Yeah," I replied.

"And that I never ever meant to hurt you. And that I'll never hurt you again," he said.

I shook my head agreeing. "Yeah Kev, I know."

"Plus, I'm afraid of Lauren," Kevin said.

I giggled. "Good."

"Any ways…what I'm basically trying to say is that I love you. I love you so much that it's hard to explain just how much. All I know is that I want to spend the rest of my life loving you and being with you," he said. "Will you do me the honor of marrying me?"

I smiled as tears began to fill my eyes. "Yes."

He placed the ring on my finger. Then I threw my arms around him, making him fall backwards.

As we lay there in each other's arms he wiped away the few tears that began to fall. "I told you, always and forever."

I rested my head on his chest, listening to his heartbeat. "I love you Boo."