Chapter 18

Kevin woke up and took a shower. Then he got dressed and left for Kate's office.

I woke up and it was all ready 10 o'clock. Both Jaclyn and Samantha's beds were all ready made. I figured everyone had eaten and left by now.

I sat up and leaned against my head board. Then I pulled my knees to my chest and began to cry again. For some reason I had this sickening feeling that my dad wasn't coming back.

Kevin walked into Kate's office and found her eating a muffin as she worked on the computer.

She smiled at him. "Morning Kevin."

"Hi Kate," he said as he sat down.

"Is there a problem? I didn't expect to see you so soon," she said.

"Yeah, there is a problem," he said.

"Oh," she said, afraid that he was going to tell her he had changed his mind about getting custody. "What is it?"

"How come I don't have custody of my daughter?" he asked.

She silently breathed a sigh of relief.

"I don't know how much longer I can go without being with her. She means everything to me," he said.

"I know this is hard for you Kevin. But I'm working as hard as I can," Kate said.

"I know you are. But do you have any idea when I will find out?" he asked.

"Actually right now we're looking at temporary custody," she said.

"What?" he asked surprised.

"I know that's not what you asked for, but things are a little complicated since she was a adopted and now you want to get custody of her," Kate explained.

"So what's this temporary custody mean for me?" he asked.

"She'll be able to stay with you for a while," Kate said.

"And once the time is up?" he asked hesitantly.

"She'll have to go back to a foster home," Kate said.

Kevin's heart sank.

Kate watched as Kevin's face fell. "But that's why we hope that you will have full custody of her by then. So that way we won't have to worry about that."

"Oh okay," he said. "When do I get temporary custody?"

"Within the next couple of days," Kate said.

"Thank God," replied Kevin.

"So I take it you two had a wonderful time yesterday?" Kate asked.

"Yes, it was perfect. Just spending the day with my little girl. I didn't want to let her go," he said.

"Ah, I see. That's why you are in here so early this morning," she said.

"Yeah. I want to be with her as soon as possible," he said.

"Well I'm working on that for you Kevin," she said.

"Thanks," he said as he stood up.

"You're welcome," she said. "And I'll call you in a couple of days."

"All right," he said. Then he walked out.

Jaclyn walked in and saw Lily crying. She immediately went over to her and sat down on the bed.

"What's the matter Lily?" she asked.

"Nothing," I choked out.

"Don't tell me that. Tell me why you're crying," Jaclyn said.

"I don't want to talk," I said as I wiped away my tears.

"Are you sure?" she asked.

I shook my head yes.

"Okay then," she said as he walked out.

As soon as she left I began to cry again.

"Jaime, Lily's crying and she won't tell me what's wrong," Jaclyn said as sat down on the couch.

"Is she okay?" Jaime asked worriedly.

"I don't know, she won't talk to me," Jaclyn said.

"All right, I'm going to call Mr. Countrymen over here. Maybe he can talk to her," Jaime said.

She got up and called him. He told her that he would be right over.

Kevin walked into his hotel room to find a worried Nick.

"Where were you Kev?" Nick asked. "I was going to try and call your cell, but that wouldn't have helped," Nick said as he showed Kevin his cell phone.

"Sorry I forgot to grab it," Kevin said.

"So where were you?" Nick asked again.

"I went to Kate's office to find out about my custody with Lily," Kevin said.

"And?" Nick asked.

Kevin sat down and sighed.

"She said that right now I would just have temporary custody of Lily," Kevin said.

"What? Why?" Nick asked as he sat down on the couch next to Kevin.

"Because Lily's adopted, it's making things a little more complicated," Kevin explained.

"Well are you going to tell Lily?" Nick asked.

"I don't know," Kevin replied.

"What do you mean? Why not?" Nick asked.

"I want to Nicky. But it'll be another couple of days until I do get temporary custody for sure," Kevin said.

"So?" Nick asked.

"I don't know if I can go there and see her and then have to tell her good bye again," Kevin said. "I don't think I can take it."

"Why don't you call her?" Nick suggested.

"No, I want to tell her in person. I want to see her beautiful face," Kevin said.

Mike Countrymen walked into Lily's room to find her crying on her bed. He immediately walked over to her and wrapped his arms around her.

I didn't see anyone, I just felt strong arms around me. For a second I thought it was my dad. But I knew better.

I looked up and wiped away my tears and then saw Mr. Countrymen.

"What are you doing here?" I asked.

"Checking in on you," he said. "Jaime and Jaclyn were worried about you."

"Oh," I said.

He sat on my bed and leaned back against the headboard with me.

We sat there for a while in silence, until he asked me a question.

"So how did it go with your dad yesterday?"

"I had so much fun. It was the best day of my life," I said.

"So what's wrong?" he asked. "Why are you crying?"

"Because I don't think he's coming back," I said quietly. "He doesn't want me."

"Oh Lily, don't say that," he said as he hugged me again and I began to cry even harder.

Mike just sat there hugging Lily and gently rubbing her back trying to get her to calm down. Once he realized that she had stopped crying he pulled away from her and looked at her.

"Do you want me to stay with you for a while?" he asked.

"Please," I said.

"Okay, why don't you get dressed while I get something for us to eat," he suggested.

"All right," I said.

He walked out and I grabbed my clothes. It was all ready 3:30 and I was just barely getting dressed. I went into the bathroom and looked in the mirror. I looked like crap. My eyes were all red and puffy. And my hair was just up in a bun with little strands of hair sticking out everywhere. I wiped my eyes with a tissue. Then got into the shower.

After I got out of the shower I went back into my room and brushed my wet hair. Then I put my cross necklace back on. I looked at my dad's thumb ring that I had placed on there.

"Lily!" called Mr. Countrymen.

"Coming!" I yelled as I set my brush down and walked out.

I went into the living room and he was sitting on the couch with a couple of sandwiches and drinks.

I sat down next to him and we stayed there on the couch the rest of the day watching t.v. and movies.

"Kevin, please sit down," Nick said as he continued to play on the video game.

"I can't. I want to do something, but I can't," Kevin said as he paced back and forth.

"You're driving me insane with your pacing back and forth," Nick said. "Just sit down."

"Ugh! Fine," Kevin said as he sat next to Nick on the ground.

"Here play," Nick said as he handed the controller to Kevin.

"I don't want to," Kevin said.

"Yes, you do," Nick said. "Believe me, it'll help. You'll get sucked into the game like I do. You can stop thinking so much for just a second. It won't hurt."

"I guess," Kevin said.

"Well Lily, I have to be going now it's already 8:30," Mr. Countrymen said.

"Yeah, it's getting pretty late," I said.

"Are you going to be okay?" he asked.

"Yeah," I said.

"Remember, call me if you need to," he said.

"I will. And thanks for coming by," I said as I walked him to the door.

"You're welcome," he said as he left.

I waved good bye and then shut the door.

I went back into my room where Jaclyn was on the phone talking and Samantha was doing her homework.

I grabbed my journal and began writing.

I felt so alone again, even though I had been surrounded by people lately. But it was that one day my dad that I didn't feel alone. I finally felt complete, like I was missing something before, but I had found it now.

But now I was back to how it used to be. People coming into my life, but always leaving. Why didn't he call me and tell me that he didn't want to see me again? Why couldn't he just give me a reason why he didn't want me? Why couldn't he just say good bye? Why had he come to visit in the first place? If he wasn't going to stay, why did he take me out and act like he was going to? Why did he have to break my heart?