Chapter 49
"Need me to help you with anything?" I asked as I sat down at the table, while Kristin prepared dinner.
"No, everything's done," she said as she put the fajitas into a bowl. "Unless you want salsa."
"Yeah, I'll make it," I said as I got up.
Kristin continued setting the table for the two of us.
"What do you want to drink?" she asked.
"Cherry coke," I said.
"Okay," she said.
Once I had finished making the salsa, I poured it into a bowl and set it on the table. Then I sat across from her as she served me a plate.
"So how was school today?" she asked.
"Pretty good," I said.
"Anything exciting happen?" she asked.
"Nope, just the usual boring school day," I said.
"So you and Angel always talk to each other about your usual boring school day?" she questioned.
I smiled. "Pretty much."
She laughed. "Like I believe that."
"So how was your day?" I asked. "Did you pick your date yet?"
"Yeah, your dad and I decided on April 17th," she said.
"In about 2 months," I said.
"Yep, so now we really got to get things in order," Kristin said.
"More craziness?" I asked.
She smiled. "Yep, but it's okay. Everything will work out."
Then Kristin and I heard the front door open. "Kris I'm home!"
Both Kristin and I looked at each other puzzled as we heard my dad's voice.
"In the kitchen!" yelled Kristin.
Soon my dad came walking in. He went over to Kristin and kissed her. "Hey babe."
"Hi Kev," she said. "What are you doing home?"
"The guys and I desperately needed a break, and something to eat," my dad said. "So they gave us an hour off."
"Oh, you have to go back then?" she asked.
"Yeah, we're not finished yet," my dad said. He grabbed a plate and then sat next to Kristin. "I won't be home until late tonight."
I picked up my plate and put it in the sink.
"I'm going to do my homework," I mumbled as I began to walk out.
"Lily!" yelled my dad.
I stopped and turned around to look at him.
"I…um…I'm…" my dad stuttered. Then he sighed. "Never mind."
I turned around and went upstairs to my room.
"What's wrong, Kev?" Kristin asked.
"Nothing, I just wanted to apologize to her. But then I realized I didn't want to do it like that, I want to talk to her," Kevin said.
"It's about time," Kristin said.
"Oh, thanks," Kevin said sarcastically.
"Well you should have talked to her instead of trying to avoid her," Kristin said.
"I'm not trying to avoid her," Kevin said.
Kristin looked at him skeptically.
"Okay fine, you're right," Kevin said as he sighed. "It's just that I feel really bad about what I said to my baby and I'm scared to talk to her."
"You know what she's thinking though, don't you?" questioned Kristin.
"I don't know," Kevin said.
"Yes you do. You just want to admit that you caused her to think this way," Kristin said.
"Geez, I come home and all you do is attack me," Kevin said.
"Don't try changing the subject on me Kev, we're talking about Lily," Kristin said.
"Well I go to work and the guys are telling me what to do about Lily and I come home for a break and you're doing the same thing," Kevin said.
Kristin ignored Kevin's comment. "Lily is feeling as though you don't care. Like you stopped loving her. Your actions are telling her everything."
"She knows that's not true," Kevin said.
"Does she?" Kristin questioned. "That's not what you've been showing her. All you've done lately is proved that she doesn't matter. That all your time goes to something more important than her."
"Whatever," Kevin said annoyed.
Then he got up to leave.
"Go talk to her Kev," Kristin said.
"Not right now," Kevin said. "I have…"
"Something more important to do?" Kristin asked. "What could be more important than your daughter?"
Kevin ignored Kris's comment. "I have to be back at the studio soon."
Then he grabbed his keys from off the table and left again.
I stared out my window as I watched my dad drive off.
It was no longer a matter of me not talking to him, but him not being there for me to talk to.
The Studio
Kevin had been at the studio for half an hour before the other guys finally arrived again.
"Took you guys long enough," Kevin said irritably.
The guys looked at each other puzzled.
"You said one hour," AJ replied.
"Yeah, and we're all here on time," Nick said.
"How long have you been here?" questioned Howie.
"30 minutes, waiting for you guys to show up," Kevin said annoyed.
"Why so early?" asked Brian.
"Why not?" replied Kevin.
"Problems with Lily or Kristin?" asked Nick.
"None of your business," Kevin snapped.
"What the hell is your problem?" AJ asked angrily. "We come here on time just like you asked and you jump all over us."
"Maybe you should just go home," suggested Brian.
"No, we have to finish this," Kevin said.
"Not if you're going to be a jerk," Nick said.
"Why are you acting like this, Kev?" Howie asked.
Kevin just stood there staring at them.
"Well?" AJ asked.
"I'm a bad parent," mumbled Kevin as he turned away from them.
"Say again?" asked the guys.
"I'm a bad parent," repeated Kevin quietly.
The guys smiled a little.
"What? Why are you guys smiling?" Kevin asked.
"Cuz, you're not a bad parent," Brian said. "You're just learning, that's all."
"Yeah," agreed Howie. "You're not going to know everything."
"But you're learning," Nick said.
"Just talk to her Kev. I know that if you guys have a close relationship now, you won't have anything to worry about later," AJ said. "She'll know that she can always go to you for anything."
"But I'm scared that she hates me," Kevin confessed.
"She doesn't hate you. Lily will never be able to hate you, she loves you too much," Nick said.
"You think so?" Kevin asked.
"Of course," Nick said.
"We've all seen how happy she is when you two are together," Howie said.
"Yeah, I guess," Kevin said.
"So are you going to talk to her?" asked Brian.
"Yeah, when I get home," Kevin replied.
"All right, good. Now let's get this show on the road so you can go see your little girl soon," AJ said.
The guys all agreed and then went into the studio, ready for a few long hours of hard work.
After countless tries, they finally perfected the song. All of them were pleased with the way it turned out, and definitely ready to go home.
They told each other goodbye and then Kevin headed home.
He looked at the clock; it read 10:25 pm. He hoped that Lily would still be up so he could talk to her, but he doubted it. If she were asleep, then he'd have to wait until the afternoon to talk to her because she would be at school during the day.
Kevin walked into his house and found Kristin watching the 10 o'clock news while sitting on the couch. He went over to her and kissed her.
"Is Lily still up?" he asked. "I have to talk to her."
"You changed your attitude?" she asked, smiling at him.
"Yeah," he said.
"I just told her goodnight about 10 or 15 minutes ago," Kristin said. "So she might still be awake."
"Okay," Kevin said. Then he went upstairs to Lily's room.
He quietly opened her door and then stood there watching as she lay in her bed.
"Lily?" he asked quietly. "Are you asleep?"
He waited for her to respond, but she didn't.
"Sweetheart?" he asked.
He sighed. "I guess I'll talk to you tomorrow. Love you baby girl."
Then he turned to leave her room.
"Daddy?" I asked as I turned to look at him.
He stopped as he heard her soft voice. Then he turned around, coming back into her room.
"You're awake?" he asked.
"Yeah," I said as I sat up.
He came over and sat on the bed next to me. Once he moved close enough, he engulfed me in his arms.
I instantly began crying. It seemed like he hadn't held me in forever. I had missed my dad so much.
"Ssh, it's okay," my dad said quietly. "I'm right here."
I could tell that he was also crying, as he gently rocked back and forth with me tightly wrapped in his arms.
After a while, my dad pulled away and wiped my tears away, along with his.
"I'm so sorry," my dad whispered.
Then he got up from my bed.
"Please don't leave," I whispered.
"Oh no, I'm not going anywhere," my dad said. He then got onto my bed and pulled me into his arms as we leaned against the headboard.
"Dad, I'm sorry," I said.
"For what?" my dad asked.
"Um…for taking up your time," I said.
"No, don't be sorry for that," my dad said. "You're not taking up my time."
"But you said…" I began.
"Forget what I said before, I didn't mean it," my dad said.
"Then how come you said it?" I asked quietly.
"Because I was angry with myself and I took it out on you," my dad said. "I know that I've been acting terrible these last few days, but it's not your fault. It's mine."
"Can I ask you a question?" I asked.
"Sure," he said.
"Do you not want the responsibility of taking care of me anymore?" I questioned.
I hated to ask that question because I wasn't sure if I wanted to hear what my dad had to say, but I had to know. I had to know if there was a reason for me staying with him.
My dad sighed. "How do I say this?"
Then he was silent as I prepared myself for the worst.
"Okay, I don't know how to exactly answer that. So I guess I'll just sort of explain it to you," my dad said. "Okay?"
"Okay," I said quietly.
"From the moment you were born I knew that I had to take care of you. But it wasn't because my parents or anyone else was forcing me to, it was because I wanted to," my dad said. "I wanted to be there for you."
"I knew that if I needed to, I would give up everything for you," my dad said. "If you needed me to, I would give up my career for you."
"But you love singing so much," I said shocked. "I can see it when you perform."
"Yeah, you're right, I do," my dad said. "However, if I had to take care of you then that would be the most important thing to me."
"Dad, I just want you to know that I never want you to quit," I said. "I know how much it means to you."
"I know. I just want you to know how much you mean to me," my dad said. "I want you to see that I'd do anything to take care of you."
"I love you Daddy," I said as I hugged him tightly.
My dad then bent down and kissed my forehead. "I love you too my baby girl."
"Are you always going to call me your baby girl?" I questioned as I smiled at my dad.
"Yep. No matter how old you get, you'll always be my baby," my dad answered.
"Okay Daddy," I said.
My dad sighed. "I'm so thankful that I found you. I was lost without you ever since you left me. I can't imagine not having you here in my arms."
"And I can't imagine not ever knowing you," I said. "You saved me from the loneliness. You saved my life."
"Come on, let's lay down," my dad said.
"Okay," I said.
Both of us got underneath the covers, with me resting my head on my dad's shoulder as he held my hand.
"Daddy, can you please sing to me?" I asked.
"Sure sweetheart," he replied.
"Thank you," I said.
Then he began to sing softly.
I would give up everything Before I'd separate Myself from you After so much suffering I finally found unvarnished truth I was all by myself For the longest time So cold inside And the hurt from the heartache Would not subside I felt like dying Until you saved my life Thank god I found you I was lost without you My every wish and every dream Somehow became reality When you brought the sunlight Completed my whole life I'm overwhelmed with gratitude My baby I'm so thankful I found you I will give you everything There's nothing in this world I wouldn't do To insure your happiness I cherish every part of you 'Cause without you beside me I can't survive Don't want to try If you're keeping me warm Each and every night I'll be alright Because I need you in my life Thank god I found you I was lost without you My every wish and every dream Somehow became reality When you brought the sunlight Completed my whole life I'm overwhelmed with gratitude My baby I'm so thankful I found you See I was so desolate Before you came to me Looking back I guess It shows that we were Destined to shine After the rain, to appreciate The gift of what we have And I'd go through it all over again To be able to feel this way Thank god I found you I was lost without you My every wish and every dream Somehow became reality When you brought the sunlight Completed my whole life I'm overwhelmed with gratitude My baby I'm so thankful I found you I was lost without you...
"Thank God I Found You" by Mariah Carey