Chapter One

"I'm so sorry she had to go," Uncle Gus was next in line to give Jo condolences "Everything will be alright, Jo."

"I know, thanks Uncle Gus." She smiled politely at the man, this was like the hundredth person telling her that it would all be alright and frankly, she was getting sick and tired of that stupid sentence, the person who ever came up with it, obviously had never experienced real tragedy. No, everything would NOT be alright, she didn't feel like it would ever be, and if that 'comforting' sentence was supposed to heal her wounds and soothe her.. than it wasn't doing it's work very well. She sighed of relieve when she saw the line was coming to an end and she could finally get some coffee. She shook the last hand and turned around, she felt dizzy and a killer headache was torturing her. Suddenly two hands touched her, one placed on her back and the other supported her arm.

"You look like you're gonna faint if I don't take you outside," a raspy thick voice said to her "C'mon Jo, let's go for a walk." He guided her outside into the fresh air.

She trembled, not because she was nervous or secretly having a crush on AJ, but because she was really going to faint if she didn't ate or drank soon.

AJ sat her down on a bench "Wait here, I'll get you some coffee and a sandwich."

Jo nodded and rested her head in her hands while exhaling deeply.

He returned and gave her the sandwich "Jo, what brought that on?"

"What? The dizziness?"

"Yea.."

She finished her sandwich "I have a really low blood pressure.. if I don't eat enough, stress myself or act too hyper.. I get like this."

"Oh, I see."

She took a sip of her coffee and looked around the cemetery, it was a beautiful place for sure, but right now, it was the last place she wanted to be. "Thanks, AJ."

"No thanks." He smiled at her "Are you feeling better?"

"Yea, physically."

"I've gotta say, you're the strongest out here.. you're dealing with it all really well."

A scornful sarcastic laugh escaped from Jo's mouth "Yea, well, you think that's coz I wanna be the strongest?" she looked at him "Oh I'd love to be like my mother and say life's not worth living anymore, that I want to die. I'd love to cry all day and make life even more miserable than it already is. And most of all, I'd love to leave someone else in charge."

AJ looked at her shocked almost "I'm sorry.."

"It's not your fault. Just don't presume that I'm that strong. I'm strong because I'm forced to."

~*~*~

Dear Piper,

Your funeral was today, almost 400 people showed up. Even fans of Nick and the Boys came.
It was a beautiful funeral, we played some of your favorite songs, and Nick sang 'All My Life' a-cappella, well until he couldn't go on any more and broke down crying, then the boys took over for him.
Dad held a little 'speech' about how you were daddy's little girl, and how you would be sadly missed. Mom really wanted to say something too, but she couldn't. So Aunt Marianne did it for her. Grandma and grandpa Rhoades showed up too, they didn't stay after though, because grandpa's heart condition has worsened and grandma can't walk very well any more.

Now it's past midnight and I'm the only one still awake.

Piper, I seriously thought about saying something too, but I decided not to. I feel that everything I would say, would be unnecessary. People already know that you and I shared something very special. You knew how much I loved you, right?
Because I do Belle, I looked up to you so much, you were everything I always wanted to be.
You were pretty, funny, sweet, smart and a great writer and singer and much much more.
I was so proud of you.. and I loved you more than I ever loved anyone.
I wish you were here Piper.

Love always,
your sis,
Jo