Part IV

"If I'm smart then I'll run away..."

The next morning I got up early and booked a flight from Burlington to Portland, Oregon - our next stop on the tour. After that I retrieved the necklace I bought for Thene and put it under my pillow. Laying back down, I watched her as she slept. In a way I was relieved today had come - I'd always wondered what an intense, whirlwind relationship was like. Not a one night stand, I'd had those. This was different - much more special. But this day would close the book on it. I think if things had lasted longer I'd start to see imperfections in the one thing I could hold as perfect. In another, more urgent way, though, this was breaking my heart. I knew I'd probably never see Thene again, and certainly not like this. It hurt. A lot. I did love her, and the worst part was I didn't even know if I could tell her.

Finally she opened her eyes, yawning and looking up at me. "Hi," she murmured, smiling.

"Do you know how beautiful you are?" I asked in response. She sat up and kissed me (morning breath and all - I didn't mind), then laid back down.

"I wish this weekend didn't have to end," she said. It wasn't a hidden plea to get me to stay or a hint that we should attempt to keep this going. It was just a pure and simple statement of sincere regret. I understood - if someone could guarantee me the magic of the weekend forever I'd take it in a heartbeat.

"I have something for you," I told her. Reaching under my pillow I handed her the box. Her face was a mask, kept neutral by mixed emotions. She opened it and looked at the necklace, then at me, then at the necklace again. She fingered it delicately and I picked it up, clasping it around her neck. Her finger drifted over the charm now resting against her collarbone.

"Do you like it?" I asked. She raised her head and I saw tears glistening in her eyes, a few slipping over her cheeks.

"I love it," she whispered.

"Why are you crying?" I asked, wiping away her stray tears.

She laughed a little. "This is probably the hugest coincidence ever, but this is the exact necklace I bought for my mom for her birthday the year she died. I never got to give it to her," she explained softly.

"Oh, Thene...God, I'm sorry, I didn't-" But she put her fingertips to my lips. "I really love it, James. Thank you." She kissed my cheek then smiled. "After all, I should know by now - none of this is coincidence," she added, echoing my conscience. I took her in my arms and we laid there together.

"When are you leaving?" she asked after a few minutes.

"My flight leaves at one," I answered, running my hand up and down her arm.

"Do you want a ride to the airport?"

"No, a taxi'll be here at eleven."

"Oh, OK."

And then, it was like we had run out of things to say. I think if we would have kept talking we would have started making all sorts of promises we couldn't have kept - I couldn't have, anyway. Finally, reluctantly, I got up and stretched.

"I need to get ready and get my stuff together," I told her. Thene nodded and got dressed.

"I'll go take a shower and meet you downstairs," she said as she walked out the door. I sighed heavily and took a shower, then packed my few belongings. I tried not to think much as I went about things, and it wasn't hard - I felt dead, sort of. At around ten forty-five I went downstairs. Thene was curled up in the corner of a sofa in the lobby. I turned in my key, then sat down next to her. She was staring out the window. I took her hand and slowly she turned to face me, smiling gently with shining eyes full of unshed tears.

"Guess this is it, huh?" she asked, trying to keep her tone light.

"Guess so."

"I'm so glad you were here this weekend," she told me. I squeezed her hand.

"Me too."

Thene dug in her pocket and handed me a piece of paper. "I know this isn't the kind of thing that lasts, but if you ever feel like dropping me a line, or if you're ever in Boston..." She trailed off, looking sheepish but smiling. I slipped the paper in my pocket, taking a deep breath.

"Thene, I-"

"I know," she said. Honestly I wasn't sure how I was going to end that statement, but I knew she'd finish it the way she needed to, and that it would be the truth.

Suddenly my taxi pulled up. We both stood, Thene taking one of my bags and me taking the other. We put them in the trunk then faced each other.

"Where're you flying to, home?"

"No, I'm off to Portland, Oregon. Another cold city."

Thene smiled. "Maybe another Athena," she said. I shook my head slowly.

"There will never be another Athena," I told her, touching her face and wiping away yet another tear that had fallen. She embraced me, kissing my cheek.

"Thank you," she whispered.

I climbed in the taxi. "Airport, please," I requested. I waved at Thene out the window. She waved once and tried to smile, then turned and hurried back inside. I watched the door after she entered as long as I could see it, then turned back around, a rock in my chest. I had let her down. I let myself down. Who knows what she thought she meant to me.