Conclusion

"I'd like to change my point of view..."

For someone as prone to dramatics as me, I didn't do anything special that afternoon. I didn't tell the taxi driver to turn around, I didn't call Thene from the airport, I didn't switch my flight to one heading to Boston. No, I got on the plane to Portland just like I was supposed to - like I had to. The trip was nothing special, I slept through most of it. When we landed I retrieved my bags and took another taxi to the hotel we were staying at. I spent most of the day in my room, just thinking.

I didn't have any master plan. I wasn't thinking of breaking up with Julia for Thene. It wasn't right, it wasn't possible, and it wasn't meant to be. I loved Thene, but I was mature enough to know that what had happened over the weekend wasn't real life - at least, it wasn't my real life. I wasn't an anonymous Joe Average. It wasn't easy to stay in a relationship with me, not at all, and Julia had sacrificed a lot to be with me and stay with me. And I did love her, very much. For a weekend I had been someone else, but now I was back and life had to go back to normal.

Howie came to see me soon after he got back. "So how was it?" he asked.

"Fine."

"Where'd you go?"

"Vermont."

He raised his eyebrows. "Vermont?" he repeated. I nodded. "What'd you do there?"

I shrugged. "Walked around. Ate. Relaxed."

"That's it?"

"Pretty much," I said. Howie shot me a look.

"Why don't you tell me what happened?"

"I did."

"Yeah, but you're obviously holding something back," he accused. I sat up.

"You wanna know the truth?" Howie nodded. "I met a goddess, D. She was reading Shakespeare at a bar. We built snowmen, we sang karaoke, and both nights I had some of the best sex I have ever had," I finished and stared at him. He looked at me in silence for a moment then rolled his eyes.

"You're so full of it," he muttered.

Julia came as planned the next week. Things between us were fine and I was happy to see her. No one ever had an idea what I did but Howie, and no one had noticed any kind of change in me.

But there was a change, deep down. I tried not to dwell on the whole experience too much, but occasionally I would think about things. That weekend made me realize that I could still be worthwhile to someone as just me, not as AJ the Backstreet Boy. It gave me back a sense of self that I was really afraid I had lost, and it gave me a genuine feeling of confidence, not just an ego boost. It was a good feeling.

I never called or wrote Thene. It just didn't seem right. I thought about her a lot, though, wondering how she was and what she was up to. At times I was really upset we didn't have some sort of relationship, even a friendship. I missed her in that way you miss your first high school girlfriend during college. Or something close - it's not like I had much experience in those areas.

Six months later we were doing a charity show in Boston. Julia and I took the afternoon before the show to wander around the city. As unlikely as it seemed (Boston is a big city), I just knew deep down I'd see her.

I'm not sure who spotted who first. She'd cut her hair, which looked lighter, probably from the sun. She was tan, too. She was sitting cross-legged on a bench, writing. When she looked up at it me it was just like the first time - those eyes hypnotized me.

I wasn't sure if she recognized me. A smile flickered across her face as I gradually led Julia across the lawn of Boston Common in her direction. When I got closer she stood, her smile wide.

"Hi," she greeted.

"Hi," I returned. Julia seemed a little startled. I don't think she knew Thene had adressed me. "Julia, this is Athena...Thene. Thene, this is Julia."

"Nice to meet you," Thene said sincerely.

"Same here. You have a beautiful name," Julia told her.

"Thank you," Thene said. I couldn't take my eyes of hers. Julia looked from Thene to me, then squeezed my hand.

"AJ, I'm going to wander around here," she said, sensing Thene and I needed to be alone. She smiled at Thene again. "Nice meeting you," she said as she turned to walk away. Thene waved.

"I'll come find you in a minute," I called after her. Thene grinned and we both sat down.

"AJ?" she repeated.

I nodded sheepishly. "Alexander James," I said. She nodded knowingly.

"With that name you look much more familiar - of course, you look a lot different too," she said, touching my freshly bleached hair and gesturing to my piercings, sunglasses and goatee. "So you were that 'actress on the street looking to get away', huh?"

I nodded again. "How are you?" I asked.

"Good, thanks - you?"

"Busy," I said, sighing.

"Yeah, but that just means things are going really well for you."

"That it does." I touched the familiar snowflake glittering against her collarbone. "You still wear this?" I asked, smiling at her.

"Of course," she said.

"I'm glad you do. I'm sorry I never called..."

"Don't be," she interrupted gently. "You never said you would and I didn't really expect you to. It was a wonderful weekend."

"I miss you sometimes," I admitted softly. Thene smiled again, placing her hand lightly on mine.

"So that's Julia?" she asked a moment later. I narrowed my eyes, confused. "I told you you talked in your sleep," she said. I blushed - something I didn't do often. Thene noticed and laughed. "It's OK, you only did it the first night, so..."

"It obviously didn't bother you too much," I teased, regaining composure. This time it was her turn to look embarassed.

"I figured she could have been your sister," she defended weakly. I chuckled. "Does she know?"

I shook my head. "No one does. Just you and me."

"And the karaoke bar," Thene added.

"And the karaoke bar," I agreed with a smile.

"Well, I shouldn't hold you up anymore - you have a big show tonight, I heard, and besides, that girl won't wait forever. I wouldn't, anyway," she said.

"Not even for me?" I asked, acting incredulous.

"Especially not for you," she joked.

"Well, stand up and give me a hug," I instructed, taking her hand and pulling her up. She wrapped her arms around my neck and I held her tightly.

"It was really good to see you," I whispered, kissing her cheek.

"Don't forget me," she whispered back.

I pulled away and looked into those crazy grey eyes with the swirls. "I'd never even try," I told her. "After all, you know we'll see each other again, because-

"-this isn't just a coincidence," we said in unison, then laughed.

"See ya around, then," she said. I grinned.

"Check ya later."

I slowly walked toward the bench I spotted Julia on. I turned around as I walked. Thene waved just once, then returned to her writing.

I snuck up behind Julia and put my arms around her shoulders, kissing the top of her head.

"Hey you," she said, turning to smile at me. "Did your friend leave?" I came around to sit next to her.

"No, she's still there. I just wanted to come see you."

"Aw, how sweet. She seemed nice - has it been awhile since you've seen her?" she asked. I looked back in Thene's direction for a second and smiled.

"It was like a whole other lifetime. C'mon, let's go," I said, taking her hand. Julia smiled, and we stood and continued through the park.