Introduction

"And everywhere I go, everybody knows..."

"So where is it you're going?" Howie asked me again.

"D, I didn't know five minutes ago, I sure as hell don't know now," I replied as I packed my suitcase.

"You're just gonna go to the airport and pick a city?"

I shrugged. "Something like that. Do you think I'll need this?" I asked, holding up my swimsuit.

"I don't know. I don't know where you're going," he said, sounding frustrated. I considered it a moment, then shoved it into my suitcase. "I don't understand why you don't just go home for the weekend," Howie pressed.

"What's at home?"

"Your girlfriend for one," he stated.

"I already talked to Julia. She completely understands."

Howie looked dubious. "Really?"

"Of course," I lied. Julia didn't even know I had three days off, and she certainly didn't know I wasn't spending those three days with her.

"She really doesn't mind?"

"No, she's fine with it. Besides, she'll be out in a week to travel with us." At least that much was true.

"But I still don't understand why you just want to go off to someplace where you don't know a single person when we get so little time off," Howie said.

I shut my suitcase and looked at him. "D, when we're working, who does the majority of our time belong to?" I quizzed.

"The fans?" he guessed.

"Right. And on our days off we go home, and who does our time essentially belong to then?"

"Our family, friends...whoever we're going to visit."

"Exactly. Now, where in that equation does our time really belong to us?" I asked.

"I see what you're getting at, but what is it you want to do with 'your' time?"

I rolled my eyes. "I don't know, I never have any - that's what this weekend is about. Howie, haven't you ever wanted to be someone else? Not just unrecognized, but a completely different person? Have no one to please but yourself?" I asked, peering at him.

Howie shrugged. "I guess, I don't know."

I shook my head and picked up my bags. Howie was one of my best friends - definitely my best friend in the group - and a good guy, but we just weren't on the same page sometimes. Of the two of us I was definitely the more creative and adventurous...selfish, too.

"AJ, are you sure about this?" he asked, following me to the elevator.

"The only thing I'm not sure of is why I decided to tell you," I muttered. Howie's face fell a little, and I felt bad being impatient with him. Howie was perfectly content going home every break and being with his family and girlfriend - of course he wouldn't understand. "I'm sorry, D. Just do me a favor and keep this to yourself, okay?"

Howie nodded halfheartedly, and I knew I could trust him. "What if something happens - an emergency?" he asked quietly.

"My cell phone is packed; I'll keep it on." I pressed the down button on the elevator. Just then Brian left his room.

"You leavin', Boner?" he called.

"Yep, I'm checkin' out."

He grinned. "Have a good break!"

"You, too, Rok!" The elevator opened, and I smiled at Howie. He looked distraught - he was going to make a great dad someday; I just hoped he'd never have kids like me. "Relax," I said, patting his back. He nodded again. I stepped into the elevator. "See ya, D."

"Have fun," he offered as the doors closed.

I grinned cheesily. "Don't worry, I will."

As I sat in the taxi on the way to the airport, I considered what I was about to do. I wasn't running away, I just needed a break, a real break. From everything. Life on the road was getting really routine, and nothing I had tried helped - no night out or crazy prank or anything. It was winter, and I was barely aware of who I was anymore, let alone where. For months on our breaks I'd been flying back to Florida to visit my family and my girlfriend Julia, and even that was mundane now. I needed to do something drastic. Refresh myself.

The solution came unexpectedly a few weeks ago at a record release party. I had started talking with Steven Tyler. We were swapping road stories and eventually I shared my problem with him. He looked at me with a smile.

"Know what I do?" he asked.

"What?"

"On our next break I just take off. Don't say where I'm going, just go."

"But people recognize you, right?" I asked.

He laughed. "The key is to get out of your element."

I shook my head. "I don't follow."

"Think of it this way - who'd expect Steven Tyler in, oh, say, Pennsylvania Dutch country?"

I laughed. "Ah, I gotcha. But still, man, you're pretty distinct looking. No one recognizes you?"

"Maybe one or two people, but for the most part people can't believe that you - a celebrity - would be in their hometown. Those things just don't happen. Rather than chance it and look stupid, they leave you alone. Milk the opportunity, AJ - be whoever you want. Be who you can't normally be."

I'd given a lot of thought to his suggestion and decided it was worth a shot. I hadn't told Julia - I knew she'd take it personally, and I didn't want to hurt her. I hadn't said anything to my mom or the rest of the guys either - they just assumed I was going home. I had only mentioned it to Howie so that if something happened at least one person would have a clue as to what was going on. I rubbed my bare chin self-conciously. I had shaven off all my facial hair, taken off my jewelry and sunglasses, and pulled on a ski cap. What Steven said about people not recognizing you out of your element might be true, but I was trying to play it a little safer.

At the airport I approached the nearest ticket counter. The young woman behind it smiled at me. "Can I help you?" she asked.

"I bet you can. I need to book a flight."

"All right, where is it you're flying to?"

I leaned forward and smiled at her. "Where do YOU think I should go?" I asked her. She cocked her head, looking a bit confused.

"I'm not sure I understand," she admitted.

"I want you to recommend someplace to go," I told her, still smiling.

She glanced at her computer screen. "Well, ah, when would you like to leave?"

"As soon as possible would be perfect."

She looked at me, then at the screen again. "OK, well, we have a flight to Dallas leaving in two hours," she suggested.

'Big city, too many people,' I thought to myself. "No, I don't think Dallas is what I'm looking for," I said.

"All right...we have a flight to Miami in an hour and a half."

'Too close to home,' I ruled and shook my head.

"How about St. Louis?"

"Mmm, no..."

"Atlanta?"

"No..."

She looked a little irritated. "How about Burlington, Vermont? That's leaving in an hour," she tried. I thought about it.

"What's in Vermont?" I asked.

"Oh, well...are you a skiier?" she asked, seeming relieved I was finally interested in something.

I almost laughed out loud. I was a native Floridian, of course I wasn't a skiier. Then I thought about it - I didn't look like a skiier, no one who would recognize me would think I was a skiier..."You better believe I am," I said confidently. She smiled.

"Well, they have some great ski lodges - my sister and brother-in-law went last winter."

"That sounds great. Is the flight booked?"

She checked her computer again. "No, as a matter of fact there are seats available in first class and coach," she informed me. I fished out my Visa and handed it to her.

"I'll take a seat in coach, please."

A few minutes later I stood in line to board with a feeling of excitement I hadn't known in months. "You wanted spontaniety, McLean, this is about as spontaneous as it gets," I said softly.

"Excuse me?" the flight attendant checking tickets asked. I laughed.

"Oh, nothing. Just talking to myself," I told her. "I do it all the time."

She smiled. "Me, too," she replied in a confident toen. "Enjoy your flight and your stay in Vermont."

I winked at her. "Don't have to tell me twice."