Chapter 13
Frodo wakes up, Gandalf is standing over him.
Frodo: Gangsta G, it’s you!
Gandalf: *Deep voice* Yeah, baby,
Frodo: Why didn’t you meet us for Subways?
Gandalf: I was with my lover.
Frodo: Bilbo?
Gandalf: No, Saruman.
Frodo: You’re cheating on Bilbo?!
Gandalf: I’m sorry, it just happened... I was born to be a
playa.
Frodo: ...Kay.
Gandalf: This is where I was.
Gandalf presses a button on his utility belt and a home theater system
pops up. It shows the flying buddy, followed by the flying cow and they rescue
Gandalf because they didn’t want him to elope with Saruman in Vegas. The video
ends.
Sam comes running in.
Sam: Gandalf, could we be alone for a minute... or
twenty?
Sam sits on Frodo’s bed, smoothing his sheets.
Elrond walks in.
Elrond: Sam, leave Frodo alone...
Sam: Fine...
Frodo mouths “Thank you!”
Chapter 14
The hobbits all meet up again and they all start hugging each other. Sam
gets very angry and starts punching Merry and Pippin. He accidentally punches
Frodo in the nose. Gandalf laughs evilly in the distance.
Sam: Oh! I’m sorry Mr. Frodo! You want me to kiss it?
Frodo: NO!
Frodo runs up to Bilbo crying because he wants
Bilbo to kiss his nose. Then, the screen goes blank and a lot of loud
kissy-smacky noises are heard.
Chapter 15
Elrond and Gandalf are talking about the past.
Gandalf presses his utility belt and the home theater system pops up again. It
starts to show Elrond and Isildur going up
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Boromir rides up on his horse with Eminem’s song
“Without Me” blaring in the background.
Legolas rides in and got off his horse with the
song by Aerosmith “Dude Looks Like A Lady”.
Gimli walks in with the rest of the dwarves with
the song by Queen “We Will Rock You”. (Haha,
“rock”! Get it?!)
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Aragorn is pretending to be a statue holding a book when Boromir walks
in. He walks over to the broken sword.
Boromir: I wonder if it will cut me if I run my finger over
the sharp part of it...
It does cut him.
Aragorn:
Stuuuuuupid.