Chapter 16

Elrond: You’re at this meeting because I told you to come. Now let’s go around the circle and state your name, an emotion, and on a scale of 1-10 how you’re feeling today. Let’s start with you, Frodo.

Frodo: My name is Frodo, and I feel--

Aragorn: Wary!

Elrond: Aragorn, wait your turn.

Frodo: Fine! I’m wary. I am a 6.

Gandalf: I’m Gangsta G, but just call me G, yo. I feel--

Aragorn: Worried!

Gandalf: *Growls* Shut up! I FEEL dangerous and I am a ten!

Some other people that we don’t care about introduce themselves.

Legolas: I am Legolas. I feel--

Aragorn: Wishful!

Gandalf: Shut up!

Legolas: Ahem... I feel sexy. I am an 11 1/2!

Gimli starts muttering “Dude looks like a lady...”

Legolas glares at him.

Gimli: My name is Gimli. I feel--

Aragorn: Waxy!

Gandalf: I will smack yo face, foo, if you don’t shut up!

Gimli: I feel hairy. On a scale of 1-10, I feel good.

Elrond: *Whispers soothingly* You’re supposed to say a number.

Gimli: I am an 8, then.

Then some dwarves introduce themselves that we don’t care about.

Boromir: I am standing up. I will state my name. I am Boromir. I stated my name. I will tell you how I feel--

Aragorn: Weak!

Gandalf: I agree...

Boromir: I am saying no. No. I said no. I will state my true feeling. I am feeling repetitive. I stated my true feeling. Now, I will state my number. My number is 4. I stated my number. I am sitting down.

Gandalf: You are shutting up.

Boromir: I have shut up.

Aragorn: I am Wilfred.

Guy Next To Aragorn: *Whispers* Aragorn.

Aragorn: ...Waragorn.

Guy Next To Aragorn: *Stands up* This is Aragorn. He is feeling double-u-e. He is a zero, as he is just plain annoying.

Elrond: Well that was nice, now we have to figure out who will take the ring to the Butt crack.

Ring: *Whispers* Go-go gadget arm!

The ring grows an extendo arm and smacks Gandalf.

Ring: I don’t wanna go to the Butt crack!

Gandalf runs away screaming.

Elrond: Now, seriously, who will take the ring?

They all sit in silence for 10 minutes.

Boromir: I am going to volunteer to take the ring. I will take the ring. I have volunteered to take the ring.

Aragorn: Me too!

Legolas: Me three!

Gimli: Me four!

Gandalf: I’m back! I’ll go too!

Frodo: And I will bear the ring.

Elrond: OK.

Sam, Merry, and Pippin: We’re coming too!

Elrond: OK!

Everyone: Bye!

Boromir: I will say bye. Bye. I have said bye.