Chapter 17
Frodo is visiting Bilbo right before the Fellowship leaves. Bilbo gives Frodo some stuff. Then, he gets a really scary face and starts crying.
Frodo: Kay…
--
The Fellowship starts to leave. They walk for a while when all of a sudden the lights and music blare up.
Legolas: The hills are aliiiiiive with the sound of music!
The hobbits line up and clasp their hands together singing “aaa-aaa-aaa-aaa”
Boromir: I am going to say you are singing the theme to The Sound of Music. You are singing the theme to The Sound of Music. I have said that you are singing the theme to The Sound of Music.
Gandalf and Gimli: SHUT UP!
They walk some more.
Chapter 18
They are all sitting around eating.
Boromir: I am going to suggest that we sing Little Moosey Foofoo. I suggest that we sing Little Moosey Foofoo. I have suggested that we sing Little Moosey Foofoo.
Merry & Pippin: It’s BUNNY Foofoo!
They start singing: “Sooooo, little bunny Foofoo hoppin’ through the forest, scoopin’ up the field mice and boppin’ them on the head. And dooooooown came the good fairy and SHE said, “little bunny Foofoo I don’t wanna see you, scooping up the field mice and boppin’ them on the head!”
Meanwhile…
Legolas: Oh Gimli! You have the most beautiful red hair!
He takes out some gold ribbon.
Gimli: Gimme gimme gimme!
Legolas: Oh, don’t worry; it will be in your beard.
Legolas proceeds to braid the ribbon in Gimli’s beard.
Legolas: You know, you should really use conditioner. I can recommend you some good ones. Oh! Pantene Pro-V! It really stinks, but it works like a charm.
Gandalf begins to cry.
Aragorn: What’s wrong, Gangsta W?
Gandalf: It’s Gangsta G, yo, but I cry because I’m surrounded by a bunch of idiots!
Legolas runs up to Gandalf.
Legolas: There are big evil spies coming towards us! Run and hide!
They all hide, except for Bill the pony, who puts on Harry Potter’s invisibility cloak. (Well, do you have a better explanation for what happens to him?)
Chapter 19
They walk to a big mountain. They go up it, and are almost to the top when Frodo rolls down.
Frodo: HEEEEELP!
Boromir: As you wiiiiiiish!
Boromir rolls down the mountain after Frodo.
Aragorn: Oh my sweet Wesley.
He rolls down after both of them.
Merry & Pippin: Hey! That looks like fun!
They both roll down also.
Gimli: Oh, they’re not having all the fun without me!
Gimli proceeds to tumble down.
Legolas: Oh NO! You’ll ruin your hair!
Gandalf glares at Legolas and pushes him down. Now everyone is at the bottom of the mountain except Gandalf who continues walking up the mountain alone.
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Saruman decides to be mean, so he makes a blizzard go where the Fellowship is.
Legolas: There is a foul snowman flying through the air!
Suddenly, a snow man falls on the Fellowship. A carrot hits Frodo in the nose, breaking it.
Gandalf laughs evilly. Frodo picks up the carrot and sees a note on it that says: “From Michael Jordan the Nazgul! J”
Frodo: You have to be here and tag me for this to count!
Another carrot comes flying through the air with another note on it that says, “Dang it! We’ll get you someday Frodo! Nazgul J”
Gandalf: It’s getting cold in herre, so put on all your clothes.
Merry & Pippin: I am getting so cold I wanna put my clothes on!
Aragorn: Let’s go to Wmoria.
Gimli: You mean… Moria?
Aragorn: Yeah…
Boromir: I am going to agree. I agree. I have agreed.
They walk to Moria.