Chapter 4

Gandalf is talking to himself when Frodo comes in.

Frodo: What are you doing in my house?

Gandalf: Bilbo and I had a fight, he left. So, this is MY house now, all mine!! Muahahahahaha!!

Frodo: Kay...

Gandalf: But you can have the ring... it’s mean to me. And it reminds me too much of Bilbo. *sniffle sniffle*

Gandalf hands the envelope with the Ring in it to Frodo.

Ring: Yay! A short person again, I hate the tall people.

Gandalf: What about Sauron?

Ring: He wore stilts.

Gandalf: Oh. Well, I have to go.

Frodo: The bathroom is right around the corner.

Gandalf: ...No! I have to leave!

Frodo: Don’t go, you’re leaving, just like Bilbo!

Frodo picks up a plate and throws it at Gandalf’s head. Gandalf presses a button on his utility belt that makes his head rubber. The plate bounces off of his head and hits Frodo in the nose, making his broken nose even worse.

Gandalf’s head: Boing

Gandalf laughs evilly.

Chapter 5

Five minutes later, Gandalf bursts back into Frodo’s house.

Gandalf: Frodo, I’m hoooome!

Frodo: Kay...

Gandalf: Where’s the ring?

Frodo: I just put it away!

Gandalf gets the envelope with the ring in it. He is about to throw it into the fire...

Gandalf: It’s gettin’ hot in herre so take off all yer clothes.

Frodo: Kay...

Gandalf throws it into the fire. Gandalf takes the ring out and holds it out to Frodo. Frodo hesitates to take it.

Gandalf: It’s quite coo.

Frodo: Kay... Gangsta G.

Gandalf: Just call me G, yo.

Frodo: Kay...

Gandalf puts the ring into Frodo’s hand.

Frodo: AHH! GANDALF ARE YOU TRYING TO BRAND ME?!

Gandalf: Yeah.... *laughs evilly*

The ring suddenly jumps onto Frodo’s nose and sets his white tape on fire. Gandalf laughs evilly.

Gandalf: Frodo, quit fooling around and what does the ring say?

Ring: Oh, well THAT’S all you wanted? Geez, why didn’t you just ask? I talk you know!

Gandalf begins to tell Frodo a story about the ring and Sauron. Then he tells Frodo the two words that the Nazgul got Gollum to say.

Frodo: Shire? Baggins? But that would lead them here!

Gandalf: Yea... so what’s your point?

Frodo: Well, that means it can’t stay here!

Gandalf: Wow, you catch on quick!

All of the sudden, Gandalf and Frodo hear a noise outside the window. Gandalf pokes Sam with a stick, and pulls Sam into the house.

Gandalf: Ah, Sam, you get to go with Frodo.

Sam: Yay! Frodo and me... alone?

Frodo: Does he have to come?

Gandalf leaves and Frodo and Sam start off.

Chapter 6

Gandalf rides to his new bride, Saruman. Saruman walks down the stairs with “Here Comes the Bride” blaring in the background.

Saruman: You were stupid for not loving me before! You’re too late! Sauron is my new lover!

Gandalf: Darn... didn’t see that coming.

Saruman: But I will still keep you as my prisoner!

Saruman then throws Gandalf onto his roof.