Frodo Got Back


Oh my God, Pippin.
Look at his butt.
It is so big. * scoff *
He looks like one of those wizards’ boyfriends.
But, y’know, who understands those wizards * scoff *
They only talk to him cuz he looks like a total elf, kay?
I mean, his butt, it’s just so big. * scoff *
I can’t believe it’s just so round, it’s like, out there.
I mean- gross!
Look!
He’s just so…small!


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I like Frodo’s butt and I can not lie.
You other hobbits can’t deny,
When Frodo walks in with a big hairy butt
And a long thing in your face you get sprung.
Wanna pull up tough
Cuz you noticed that butt was stuffed
Deep in the high waters he’s wearing
I’m hooked and I can’t stop staring
Oh Frodo, I wanna get with ya and
Draw your picture.

My home-elfs tried to warn me
But with that butt you got makes
Ooh Rump-o-hairy-skin
You say you wanna get in my hole?
Well ring me, ring me
Cause you ain’t that average smoothie.

I’ve seen him drinking and dancing
To hell with romancing!

He’s hot…hot…
Got it going like a cooking pot
I’m tired of Bilbo’s books
Saying Pippin’s one hot Took.

Take the average wizard and ask him that
Frodo gotta pack much back.

So, Gandalf (Yeah!)
Gandalf (yeah!)
Has Frodo got the butt? (Hell Yeah!)
Shake it! (shake it!)
Shake it! (shake it!)
Shake that hobbit butt!
Frodo got back!

I like ‘em big and hairy.
And when I’m throwin a jig
I just can’t help myself, I’m actin like a animal.
Now here’s my scandal.

I wanna get him home
And ugh, double-up, ugh ugh!
I ain’t talking bout PlayElf
Cuz silicone parts are made for shelves.
I want him real hairy and juicy,
So find that juicy double.
Boromir’s in trouble
Beggin for a piece of that bubble.

So I’m looking at elf videos
Watchin Bilbo walkin like Frodo
You can have that bimbo!
I’ll keep my women like Shelob.

A word to the very fat hobbits,
I wanna get with ya
I won’t stab or bite ya
But I gotta be straight when I say I wanna * fuck *
Till the break of dawn
Frodo got it goin’ on.
A lot of elves won’t like this song
‘cause them hotties like to hit it and quit it
and I’d rather stay and play
cuz I’m long and I’m strong
and I’m gonna get the friction on!

So, elves! (Yeah!)
Elves (yeah!)
If you wanna shake your pelves (yeah!)
Then turn around! Stick it out!
Even Aragorn has to shout
Frodo Got Back!
Frodo Got Back!
Yeah baby… when it comes to hobbits, Pippin ain’t got nothing to do with my selection.
36-24-36? Ha-Ha, only if you’re 3’4”
So your hobbit rolls a wagon, playin workout tapes by a dragon.
But the dragon ain’t got a tape in the back of it’s wagon.
My wizard’s staff don’t want none
Unless you got a ring, hon!
You can go on wild adventures,
But please don’t lose that butt.

Some dwarves wanna play that that ‘hard’ role
And tell you that his butt ain’t go.
So they TOSS it and leave it
And I pull up quick and retrieve it.

So Merry thinks you’re fat.
Well I ain’t down with that!
Cuz your feet ain’t small and your hair id kickin
And I’m thinking bout slicking

For the very hot elves in Lothlorien
You can’t touch this ring.
Give me a hobbit, I can’t resist
Spongecake was a really big hit
Some Brandybuck tried to dis
Cuz his Took was on my list
He had game but he chose to hit ‘em
And I pull up quick to get with ‘em

So, Wizards, if you’re not ‘The Brown’
And you want a triple X throw down,
Dial 1-900-LEGOLAS
And kick them nasty thoughts
Frodo Got back!


Submitted by: The Ring Doobies/ Elven Fury