Personals Ads I've Place That Didn't Work.
These are mostly variations on the same ad. None of them worked, so they are perhaps good examples of how not to write a personal ad.
Whenever I got lonely, I always seem to end up browsing the
personal ads. I don't know why. Yes, there's always that hope
that you'll find one from someone that perfect for you, deep down
inside you know you won't. But it's like a traffic accident,
there's sort of a sick fascination. While the ads here are awful,
with all the scams for porno sites & weirdos, the pay
personal sites are just as bad.
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Anyway, I'm 29, 5'11",165-170 lbs. My profile has a pic.
It's darker than how I actually look. I'm a self-employed
computer consultant, which basically means I don't have much
money, and have a lot of free time. My main interest is trance
and progressive house. Mostly just listening to it, but I am also
a very amateur DJ (like in a club, not like on the radio). I also
read a lot (history, fantasy, sci-fi, gnosticism, old and
historical mysteries). I also enjoy computers, cats, video games,
and baseball/football. I try to exercise a lot, and spend time
outdoors, but tend to get fatigued. And it seems every time it's
nice out, I get sick. I'm just getting over pneumonia. I'm fairly
shy, quiet unless I know someone, fairly nice, and caring. I try
to be positive about life, but am quite cynical about it, and am
honest about myself. I know I'm basically a loser. & I know
that that attitude, coupled with being broke, and being average
looking, makes me incredibly unattractive. But it's who I am.
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So, what am I looking for? Someone basically like me. Fairly
nice, around my age, in reasonable shape, fairly smart, coherent,
no kids, not an alcoholic, with fairly similar interests. While
I'd love to have a serious long term romantic relationship, I'm
mostly looking for a friend and someone I can care about. (No
men, please. I am not gay.)
I am looking basically like me. Unattached, fairly nice, about my
age, in ok shape, smart, coherent, no kids, not an alcoholic,
fairly similar interests (not identical, but with some
overlapping so we don't bore each other). Only female (and no
mustache). While I'd love to have a serious long term
relationship, I'm mostly looking for a friend and someone I can
care about. Not necessarily romantic, but some sort of emotional
connection.
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I'm 29, 5'11",~165lbs. My profile has a pic, but it's darker
than how I actually look. I'm a self-employed computer
consultant, which basically means I don't have much money, and
have a lot of free time. My main hobby (more like a passion)is
trance and house music. Mostly just listening to it, but I'm also
a very amateur DJ (like in a club). I also read a lot (history,
fantasy, sci-fi, gnosticism, old and historical mysteries, and
some paranormal/new agey books). I also enjoy computers, cats,
video games, and baseball/football. I try to exercise and spend
time outdoors, but am allergic to almost everything in MO. I'm
fairly shy, quiet unless I know someone, nice, and caring. I try
to be positive about life, but am quite cynical about it, and am
honest about myself. Look, I know I'm basically a loser. But
really, that's obvious as I'm posting an ad here. As far as
losers go, I'm pretty good. I like myself. I'd rather be a good
person and regarded as a loser, than be a jerk and be regarded as
a 'winner' or somesuch.
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Whenever I got lonely, I always seem to end up browsing the
personal ads here. I still don't know why. It's fascinating yet
sickening at the same time. I once said it was like a traffic
accident, but perhaps a really bad movie is more apropriate (like
the one I'm watching now, the original Gamera, who is supposed to
be a giant japanese flying turtle, but really looks like a guy in
a really bad turtle suit...). That's not quite it either. The
seaminess and desperation remind me of Raymond Chandler's novels,
but those fail to capture the sheer strangeness here.
_______________________________________________________________________________________________Anyway,
I'm 29, 5'11",165-170 lbs. My profile has a pic. It's darker
than how I actually look. I'm a self-employed computer
consultant, which basically means I don't have much money, and
have a lot of free time. My main interest is trance and house
music. Mostly just listening to it, but I am also a very amateur
DJ. It's more a passion for me than an interest. Almost a
religion. It's the most beautiful, wondrous music on earth. I
also read a lot (history, fantasy, sci-fi, gnosticism, old and
historical mysteries). I also enjoy computers, cats, video games,
and baseball/football. I'm just getting over pneumonia, so right
now my stamina's not so great, but I also like spending time
outdoors (usually walking/jogging). I do seem to be allergic to
the outdoors in MO).I'm fairly shy, quiet unless I know someone,
fairly nice, and caring. I try to be positive about life, but am
quite cynical about it, and am honest about myself. Most would
consider me to be a loser, and maybe I am, but all in all, I'm a
pretty good person when it comes to those things that are really
important.
_______________________________________________________________________________________________
So, what am I looking for? Someone basically like me. Fairly
nice, around my age, in reasonable shape, fairly smart, coherent,
no kids, not an alcoholic, with somewhat similar interests. While
I'd love to have a serious long term romantic relationship, I'm
mostly looking for a friend and someone I can care about. (No
men, please. I am not gay.)
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When I got lonely, I always seem to end up reading the personal
ads here. I still don't know why. It's fascinating yet sickening
at the same time. I once said it was like a traffic accident, but
perhaps a really bad movie is more fitting (like the one I'm
watching now, Gamera). That's not quite it either. The seaminess
and desperation reminds me of a Chandler novel, but those fail to
capture the sheer strangeness here (like Gamera does).
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I'm 29, 5'11",165lbs. My profile has a pic. It's darker than
how I actually look. I'm a self-employed computer consultant,
which basically means I don't have much money, and have a lot of
free time. My main interest is trance & house music. Mostly
just listening, but I'm just getting into DJing. It's more a
passion than an interest. Almost a religion. It's the most
beautiful, wondrous music on earth. I also read a lot (history,
fantasy, sci-fi, gnosticism, old and historical mysteries). I
also love computers, cats, video games, and baseball/football.
I'm just getting over pneumonia, so right now my stamina's not so
good, but I also like to spend time outdoors (usually
walking/jogging). I seem to be allergic to the outdoors here. I'm
shy, quiet unless I know someone, fairly nice, and caring. I try
to be positive about life, but am cynical about it. I am honest
about myself. Most would consider me a loser, and maybe so, but
I'm a pretty good person when it comes to the really important
things.
_______________________________________________________________________________________________
So, who am I looking for? Someone basically like me. Fairly nice,
around my age, in reasonable shape, fairly smart, coherent, no
kids, not an alcoholic, with somewhat similar interests, and
sane. While I'd love to have a serious long term romantic
relationship, I'm mostly looking for a friend and someone I can
care about.
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These are just observations, not really an ad. I'm mostly just
doing this because I'm bored, and so you may or may not (probably
not) find these interesting.
The most common ad is for porn sites. I guess some men are
gullible enough to fall for them, but they are so obviously fake.
Like the one that says "You've seen me on Baywatch". Oh
please. Try to make them at least sound halfway plausible. The
really sleazy ones I actually don't mind, because anyone just
looking for sex deserves (at least a bit) to be scammed. The ones
that annoy me are the ones targeting lonely people. There's just
something vile about preying on a person's loneliness. That's why
I hate the pay personal sites - they give you such a hard sell.
"Meet 1000s of people who are dying to meet you, if you give
us $20 a month". Bah. Most those 1000s are actually trial
customers who haven't bothered to delete their info when they
quit. But at least they're cheaper than an actual dating service.
I went to one once, and the cheapest plan was $1000 - that was
their trial offer. They also employed an incredibly hard sale,
coupled with an incredibly gourgeous saleswomen, with a skirt
that made Ally McBeal look like a quaker. And the salesmen for
women clients were just as attractive, though obviously they
didn't wear skirts. There's just something, I dunno, evil, about
scamming people like that.
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Most of the other ads tend to be somewhat strange. Most the ads
for sex are pretty normal, if that's what you're into I guess,
but a small few are really disgusting. Enough to turn an
average's person stomach. And there are a quite a few really
crazy religious ones. I'm more spiritual than religious, but I
have a lot of respect for it, but some are just plain crazy.
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Personal ads can be frustrating. You pour your heart out writing
an ad, and end up with no replies. Or strange ones. Or worse.
Reading them can be frustrating as well. For one, a lot of the
ads are, well, I think 'icky' says it best, if not the most
elegantly. But really, it's the ads from people that appeal to
you, but who aren't looking for you, that get to you the most. I
figure it's best to treat the personals like the lottery - if you
win, then great, but if you don't, it's to be expected.
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I'm 29, 5'11",170 lbs. My profile has a pic. It's darker
than how I actually look. I'm a self-employed computer
consultant, which basically means I don't have much money, and
have a lot of free time. My main interest is trance & house
music. Mostly just listening, but I'm just getting into DJing.
It's more a passion than an interest. I also read a lot (history,
fantasy, sci-fi, gnosticism, old and historical mysteries). I
also love computers, cats, video games, and baseball/football.
I'm still getting over pneumonia, so right now my stamina's not
so good, but I also like to spend time outdoors (usually
walking/jogging). I seem to be allergic to the outdoors here. I'm
shy, quiet unless I know someone, fairly nice, and caring. I try
to be positive about life, but am cynical about it. I am honest
about myself. Most would consider me a loser, and maybe so, but
I'm a pretty good person when it comes to the really important
things.
_______________________________________________________________________________________________
So, who am I looking for? Someone basically like me. Nice, around
my age, in reasonable shape, smart, coherent, no kids, not an
alcoholic, with somewhat similar interests, and sane. While I'd
love to have a serious long term romantic relationship, I'm
mostly looking for a friend and someone I can care about.
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Sometimes I wonder why I post an ad here. I mean, yeah, I'm
lonely, and I don't really have any other ways of meeting women.
I don't drink, so bars are out. I'm picky about music, so most
clubs here are out. There's no beach here. I learned the hard way
to never date someone you met through work. So I'm left with
this. Yet, I'm almost afraid to. It's not due to the lack of
responses - I'm almost relieved when I don't get any. In the year
or so that I've been posting ads on & off in (mostly off, but
still longer than I'd like to admit) I've gotten maybe 15 replies
total. Which isn't bad at first glance, but all have been awful
in some way.
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Many (5-6) were insults, calling me a loser or somesuch. One was
from a gay guy. A few were from women who felt sorry for me,
which is well meant, but it hurts to be pitied. & A few were
from women who weren't what I'm looking for, and a couple of
those were angry due to that. A couple were from very nice women
who alas didn't bother to read my ad, and so got mad when they
found out I wasn't who they were looking for. A couple were
either really cryptic or short (one line) or weren't at all
coherent. The one nice one was from a woman who unfortunately
lived in Greece.
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Ironically, as I was typing this, someone messaged me on Yahoo
messenger. I only run it to check for responses, and never had
anyone message me before. It really startled me, and I
immediately closed it. Clearly, I've gotten gunshy (so to speak).
So, I think the best thing is to stop placing ads for a time
until I get over this. I've seen some ads recently from really
frustrated & bitter men & women, and I don't want to end
up like that. So, so long, for awhile. (I only write this for
myself, not that I think anyone will read it or care. But if you
do, good luck with your own ads/life.)
Hmmm. Describing myself hasn't worked. Not too surprising. So,
perhaps I'll try describing what I am ideally looking for. It
won't work either, but I'm bored. Intelligence is probably the
most important thing. And being well read. Not necessarily a
lover of great literature (I mostly read junk), but someone who
loves to read. Someone who is nice. I don't mind being teased a
bit, but I'm pretty sensitive. I'd really love a woman who
doesn't drink, I don't really like drunk (or even tipsy) people,
but just occasional drinking is okay, I guess. Ideally, I'm
looking for a someone to be my best friend, someone I can talk
with, and have the hours go by like minutes. So it would be nice
to have some interests in common. And especially I'm looking for
someone with a philosophical nature, with something of a mystical
bent. I'm picky about music, but can tolerate almost everything
but country, big band and polka/lawrence welk. I really only hate
country though. Sounds too much like cats getting tortured, I
guess. And speaking of that, I love cats, and am looking for
someone who also loves them (or dogs, too). And being shy would
help. But not too shy, as I'm shy myself, and am not extroverted
enough to be able to draw a really shy person out.
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Physically, looks aren't very important. But I would really like
someone in halfway decent shape. I'm not in great shape, but do
make an effort to exercise and eat sensibly. And someone with no
kids. Not that I have anything against them, they are just not
something I have any interest in right now.
The personals read a lot like a '30s
noir/detective novel. Sordid, sleazy, bleak, with an air of
loneliness and desperation. They're not all like that, you get
the occasional post by a normal person, or someone who has kept
their spirits, but there's this overwhelming sense of pathos. I'm
not sure which are the saddest - ones from married people looking
for a friend or someone they can talk to, the teenagers with
kids, the crazies, or the ones from people who have completely
unrealistic expectations.
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Maybe that's my trouble - I'm asking for too much. It doesn't
seem like it - I'm not looking for anything that I'm not. I'm not
looking for a supermodel or a barbie doll. Just somone like me -
fairly nice, fairly bright, at least average looking, not
morbidly obese, no kids, reasonably sane and coherent, clean,
similar interests, and around my age. And who doesn't insult me
or call me names. Now I admit, some of my interests are a bit
unusual, like trance music or history or reading, but they're
hardly strange.
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Oh well, should you want to know about me, read my other ads. I
talk more about myself there.
It's amazing, since yahoo revamped their personal ads, there really have only been a handful of new ones (and many of those are still scams). I guess the personals here weren't nearly as popular as they seemed to be. So there's probably not much point in reposting this, but.... _______________________________________________________________________________________________ Anyway, I'm 29, 5'11", and 170 lbs. My hair is brown but bleached a lot. I'm a self employed computer consultant, and so don't make much money but have a lot of free time. My main hobby is music - trance and progressive house mostly. Mostly just listening, but I am also a very amateur DJ (not like on the radio, like in a club). I also read a lot (historical mystery, older detective novels, fantasy, sci-fi, the paranormal, UFOs, mysticism, Gnosticism, history, etc), putter on around computers, play video games. I'm also fond of animals, mostly cats but also large (100 lb+) dogs. I'm not much on TV, but do like watching As Time Goes By, reruns of Babylon 5 and Emergency, and I like old-ish movies - sci-fi, giant monster,romantic comedy, anything but sad dramas and overly gorey horror, really. I like to walk a lot, although not in this weather. I think I'm a pretty good person, but honestly, most people tend to think I'm a loser. At least most the women here . I guess it depends on how you judge me. If you go by how much money I make, how large my ego is, how exciting I am, then yes, I am. _______________________________________________________________________________________________ While I would love to have a long term relationship, I'm mostly looking for a friend. But with a possiblity of more, so I'm a bit picky. But nothing that I'm not. Nice, around my age, in reasonable shape (not obese), smart, coherent, no kids(!), not an alcoholic(!), mostly sane, & with somewhat similar interests. I am not interested in 'having fun' or something sleazy, I am looking for a friend, or something serious, someone I can become emotionally attached to.
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