That's right folks.  It's time to chronicle
the worst Transformers names ever.
Today, I think we'll limit this list to
the American toys, if only for the
sake of brevity.

WINDBREAKER
Rule number 1 in marketing:  never name a toy after a piece of
clothing made popular by the Karate Kid movies or a term for farting.
Well, it may not be a hard and fast rule, but it really should be.
 
 

SIDE BURN
Personally, I'm looking forward to the Armada characters
"Mutton Chops" and "Soul Patch."
 
 

GROOVE
I have to ask the obvious question here:  was Hasbro
channeling Jerry Garcia when they named this fellow?
 
 

COSMOS
Now look, don't get me wrong, I love this guy.  He's one of my
favorite Transformers... but "Cosmos?"  Couldn't they have just called him "TiredAndHornyToyDesignerJustWantsToGetHome'CauseItsGettingLate"
and been done with it?
 
 

HUN-GURR
I don't get it.
 
 

HUFFER
I'm sure there's a good reason behind his name, but I can't help
think it has something to do with the dangers of household cleaners.
 
 

FLYWHEELS
Now, on the surface this name may not seem too bad...until, that is, it is
revealed that these Duocons separate into two characters,
one named Fly and the other named Wheels.
 
 

WIDELOAD
This was actually an improvement over his original name:
"Dangerously Obese."
 
 

KROK
I still don't get it.
 
 

ZAP
That's the sound made by the pricing guns as he was quickly marked down.