I could draw the
universe on your body
And feel the hands of God embracing our souls
In sweat we drink the tears of lonely times
They are all forgotten now, but our soul still remains
With trembling hands I could feel your world replacing mine
I can see you entering my lonely heart and mind
Your words – my words, your touch – my touch
I can feel you
And there are coming those precious moments
When I forget where begins you and where ends I
As my love entwines your love
We speak and laugh could it be real
We are real and we’re not dreaming
In your eyes I see thousand stars
I gazed at only nighttime, always so far away from me
Your mouth is open whispering your senses
Telling me the truth I never knew before.
I could draw the
universe on your body
I keep it here in my little hand
I have it here on my tongue
I have god in my soul
Heaven in my mind
And I am not alone
I am not alone
Your hands on my waist embrace the Earth forever
Mon 25 October 2004
I’m painting
beard on your face
I kiss you like I kiss the one I love
The one I miss and crave for
My loneliness is eating me
And I need a warm touch
Not the touch of mum
I need to be embraced
By freedom and sweetness
By silky darkness
Free now I’m not
I’m a prisoner of freedom
And I chose to wait in the shadow
And spy the other’s love
Till I find my own one again
In the dark I try to collect
The red roses I threw
To find again the sweetness
And the lovely pain
So I walk at night
(Forget my day)
I scream sometimes
And curse myself
Then I laugh
‘cause no one sees me
I took you with me
I gave you my toy
That’s not a drug
I dress you in pants and fancy shirt
It’s my theatre
Will you kiss me?
I’m longing for my boy…
I want my graveyard
back
Someone stow my world
I guess it’s me
I stole myself
Soon is not now
So I drew with the pen
Your lips and kiss myself
Those girlish black lips
Paint dark circles in the lake
Of what we call sensuality
Still holy
But in another kingdom
Six feet under
02:01 Sat 20
Nov 2004
Hater
Let me tell you
how I hate you.
Let me tell you I elate you
Every night in my worst nightmares
And I spit on your fake manners.
I hate every one of you,
you scum, you shit,
I hate you and
make fun of it.
I don't care about your presence,
I don't want your stupid presents.
It's funny how
a person,
so intelligent and proud,
can turn so fast into an asshole
and into a fraud.
This fraud is me, my friend,
this is why I simply hate,
and I turned to your own fiend.
Hath no longer in me faith.
I'm a part of all those losers,
so start getting used to my new face.
I'm no longer that same beauty,
Look at my new social grace.
You probably forgot
I have a soul
a bit more fragile than you do.
Probably it starts to fall
right now and to move
down, down closer to the Hell
and the Earth is getting smaller.
and It's so hard for me to tell,
but I probably go crazy.
Probably I lost my faith
in you, in us, in all this breed.
I was hoping love
is blind.
Well it blinded me to be
one of your so special kind -
that hate people cause they don't see.
No longer, my friend.
This is going to an end.
I'll be spiting
in your face,
I'll be smiling at your tears.
I will always find a way
To hate you more and more today,
Tomorrow and forever.
But I wish you never,
never feel that way, my friend,
As I feel now,
Because I know somehow
I was your hope,
Now I'm your useless crop.
So save yourself and go away
I'm just a hater and you're my prey.
I wanna be cold
I wanna feel pain
So I can at least
Fall in love with you again
I never meant to
be sad
I never meant to be bad
But it’s 3 in the morning
And I’m totally mad
Too late, I realized
I’m addicted to pain
And now I’m enjoying
The stitch in my veins
It’s so good
to be bad
It feels right to be wrong
Cause it’s sweet to sew up
After you have been torn
Wanna cut all my
veins
And then seam back the shelf
Just to have a contact
An intercourse with myself
Wanna open the
window
Wanna lean on the wall
Wanna feel throughout skin
All this wonderful cold
Wanna scream
But I’m silent
I am gritting my teeth
Oh, don’t worry
It feels so good to be ME
I’m so happy
I’m swollen
Ops I did it again -
Feeling pleased and refreshed
After causing me pain
I’m not a
violent child
It is all in my brain
So I will not mess up
And will not feel ashamed
But still wanna
do it
I wanna feel pain
So I can at least
Fall in love with you again