The Tale of the Transvestimentals! Coming Soon!
Have patience, my pretty! Bernie will speak candidly
..only when he is ready.

.....Ok he is ready!

The Tale of the Transvestimentals-A Scandalous Romance
by Bernie Morocco

Prologue:
It is all beginning in 1997,the Spring. A fascinating figure steps out of the shadows on the streets of Paris .It is I, Berne Morocco! I shock even my own self with this sudden
appearance on the stage of life! I am ,naturally quite handsome, and a little dangerous. I age a bit,it's true,but who does not? But I am told by the beautiful women it becomes me. In this time of my life,it is the turning pointage.I have decide it! I will become the rock and roll drummer supreme.

Chapter One:
For many years I am the thrower of knives and sometime actor,but then I tire of the itinerant gypsy life. From the throwing,my arm aches in the night,but I do not care or ask for pity, even though it is a hurt like a hell on earth! As if fateful at this time,I meet in Paris the incomparable and lovely Miss Betta Behave. She is a she-devil and a golden-throaty singer.Her past,it is a shroud of mystery! She say to me" I am not French." and I am reply'" It is no matter: is not the very creation of mankind also a mystery?" Ah,she love the talk philosophical! I press my advantageousness: "Miss Betta Behave,you do seem bizarrely cold to the manly charm of me, Bernie Morocco, and believe it,this NEVER happens to me with the beautiful women before or since,yet nonetheless,I wish it for you to be the singer and guitar-strumming queen of my new band which I am forming as we speak,calling it "TRANSVESTIMENTALS" to excite the speculation prurient as to how we are hand-washing lacy underthings,and for us to dress as we please to please no-one but ourselves,and large audiences also." All this I say to her,at once,no breathing. I wait.....And she reply to me "....uh huh."
Ecco!!! So cool,such a mysterious,she is! She is driving me to insane! So now,I must run (or swagger more fast) through all the great cities of Europe and beyond,recruiting others to be of her equal before she QUIT!! I hear the rumours of a guitar wizardress of whom I have cross the paths before,in a faraway place. I go!





Chapter Two:

At last: I find! In the darkest corner of the smokiest bar, I spy the white-skinned,blue-eyed, thin and languid beauty,draped herself on the sofa,with the bottle of Opium in her listless hand. "No,not the vile Opium!" I roar. "Ah. I see,"she state,"and what would you have? That I use Chanel? All those numbers.It's so pushy."
With that,this elegant creature I learn to be called Polly Dolly he is sink back onto the sofa,look into space and ignore me. (Later, I find this is typical!) So I,Bernie Morocco,sieze the Opium and try it,and on me it is quite good. (But for him a mistake;too musky for the blonde.) I fling down upon his icy feet and declaim in a cry, "I,Morocco,the greatest drummer in this room have scoured Canada to find you ,the Glam Prince of Camp Rock, to become the twin star to Miss Betta Behave,although I am confess it to you that she is the one woman ever to be unmoved by the passion of Bernie Morocco."I end on the sour note, I admit,so I quickly continue." I ,who wishes it to hire you,the astonishing Polly Dolly!!!" She look at me,silent,for five or six hours.Then,she speak." I, too, am quite uninfatuated with your oily,piratical looks,"(Impossible! Not so! This is unheard of to me!!!), however," he continue as if I do not speak,"I may spare a few evenings to meet with Miss Betta Behave,for if she is what you so describe..." AHA! He is saying it with three dots,so I sense it is destined to be the destiny of those two...


Chapter Three:
Basta!! They strike it off!!! Oh,whata luck it is for me,Bernie Morocco,even though they are so disinterest in my well-known attractions,(but so what of a deal?I allow the spell to work in time.)Soon they are write the song after song,totally originale! and after I get them on the board,it is as easy as a pie to acquire that school-girl siren of the bass guitar,Darwin Bludgeon,to be with me the true guts of the band! Yes!! The sultry bass and the bashing drums shall mate,even though I am pretty sure this Bludgeon is a guy,since even I can see he is far from consumed by the heat of the fire of the passion of me, Bernie Morocco,which is so foreign to my experience as I am foreign to it. We do not speak of the same language! Yet Darwin,she is the genius complete of the modern world technicological,and in spite of that delicate demeanor,she capable is of the invention and repairs of all machine things! and when she say,"Circuit boards have a quiet beauty."I swoon,and curl my pencil mustache at her,but she or he is not caring or noticing much,as she is always think to herself in the code:"I write code,and do also the programming."she declare seductively like the Mata Hari she is! Ah,Darwin,she is agree to joining us! Avanti! Excellentissimo supremeverra!!! Whee!!! Now we have brains too,on our side.

Epilogue:
So. That is,my friends,the tale of the form togethering of the Transvestimentals,fiery and hot as the sausages of my country,and how we ripen in two years like very much the cheeses of my homeland into the rich,pungent,glittering mannequins of glam -rock-and-roll-a-billy that you can see,as we explode onto the stage of the world and Vancouver,Canada! We are at once invisible and famous! We wish to attract even more of the shy eye-liner boys and girls to leave the hiding in the bed-sitting rooms(also lighting the candles and crying sometimes),to come out dressed for excess and we will serenade you with our songs of gleeful sexuality,thwarted love and glamourous confusion,if that you can believe! Come and see!!! The audience is one half the show: without you we are nothingness.Ciao!
Ah yes,how easy it is to write one's first novel!

The End

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