Don't feel bad, boys. I kick everyone's butt.
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James Cameron's Dark Angel
So I was cruisin' the aisles at Price Club, checkin' out the DVD's and games and shizzo, when I come James Cameron's Dark Angel for X-box. I was like, "Tight stuff," and I go and try to find it for PS2. I couldn't for a while. I found this game called Dark Angel: Vampire Apocalypse and it looked incredibly gay. Anyway, I finally uncover the game and it's only $17.99 so I'm like, "What the hell," and I buy the shizzo (along with the First Season DVD of Dark Angel). So I go home, I pop it in the 'ol PS2, and give it a spin. Little did I know what it had in store...
When the game first comes on, it goes through like the history of why the U.S. is a crap hole. Jessica comes on and is like, "The pulse devastated the country..." and I'm like, "Hell yeah! We're back!" cause I've been quite upset since they cancelled my favorite show EVER (Damn you FOX!!!). So I watch the video and it comes to the menu with the classic seen of Sexy Max standing on top of the Space Needle lookin' out (she's got straight hair in the game, much better than that curly crap from the show). I go to "Extras," check out the screens, then start up the game. It was fun shizzo, yo. I had a bit of a rough time at the beginning because I never read the manuals for anything, but when I started kickin' these punks' asses, I was like, "This is the greatest game of all time!" Of course, that was just in the spur of the moment, for Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time for Super Nintendo is the best game ever (but that's another story), but it was still pretty bangin'. In the beginning, Logan comes on and says you gots to get to his apartment and avoid bein' seen by the military (this thing comes in the top left and makes noise, you hit select, and Logan gives you a message). I didn't know how to pull the stealth moves (very sexy, I'll tell you about 'em later) so I was just runnin' around and I'd get swarmed by like 10 military guys and take 'em all to the floor. A cool thing I discovered when I was holdin' down X (it's in the manual, mind you), that when the red "Rage" bar gets filled up and starts pulsing, you hold down X or Square and you become like this super-mad-hottey-babe-ass kickin' chick and your hits count for like double or somethin'. The game seems to be kinda mindless until you get to Logan's apartment. Then he tells you you gots to save Sylan (I think, it might be a little later but whatever). So you head off and fight some peeps. By this point, I learned how to use stealth a little bit (I also found out I had a gun) and so I'm sneakin' around and it's cool. I'm hidin' behind shizzo, whistlin', the dude comes over, and I choke him and the rest of the peeps don't know what's goin' on. When you get on the boat, it's really tight, cause they're all these hallways and you gots to be really sneaky. It's cool stuff. Throughout the game, you fight different "boss" type guys. They're mutants, too, just they're like human stingrays and beatles and stuff, not a super hot soldier babe. They're kinda tough. It takes a little while to get used to 'em, but most of them have a move where they either shoot something at you fast, or rush you. What you do is you time it perfectly, and right before they go you do an ass kickin' backflip off the wall, then kick 'em in the face. It's fun stuff.
The game is really fun. It's basically like Max Payne, just Max is a chick, the storyline is from the TV show, and there aren't as many weird videos and stuff. James Cameron's Dark Angel has got the slowmo shizzo in it when you take someone down or do a sweet move. My favorite thing is to do tricks off of walls, or run around, get a massive line of guys behind you, then turn and hit jump, then kick, and you do a running kick in the air that takes 'em all to the floor. Fun stuff.
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| TranZion |
