Sequel to "Do I Know You From Somewhere", "Not That Kind", "The Lonely One" and "Truth Or Lie"

*****

Chris woke up with the feeling that something was wrong, like so many times before, but it took him a while to come up with the reason for it this time. Something had always felt wrong the last few years, but since he met Vin, it had gradually begun feeling better. And after that day when he'd kissed him, his life, everything about it, had begun feeling different, good somehow. He had barely recognised the feeling at first, it had been so long. But now it was gone, again. He thought about the last couple of days. Vin had started to avoid him again, had looked at him with hurt and anger in his eyes, and all he could think was 'What have I done this time?' He had no idea. He'd thought that stupid night was forgotten, or at least forgiven, but apparently not. Or he'd done something else, he had no idea. Vin wasn't an easy man to figure out. He had so many secrets, so many things he didn't seem to want to share. Except for the bounty thing, Chris knew almost nothing about Vin's life up till the day he met him. He'd intended to ask him, but then Vin had begun staying away from him again, so he was still in the dark concerning Vin's life. These days, he felt as if he was sometimes in the dark about everything.

He got up and got dressed, then went to the saloon to get some breakfast. Not that he was hungry, but he knew he needed to eat something, or he couldn't function properly. He didn't want to lose a possible gunfight just because his brain was elsewhere due to lack of food. The heat was bad enough, and enough to make him dizzy, there was no point in adding to it. He stepped inside the saloon, right away spotting three of his friends by their usual table. Ezra and Josiah. And Vin. He nodded at them, then went to get some food and coffee. When he came back to the table, his friends were still there, talking quietly. Except Vin, who seemed to have gone silent when he came in. Chris glanced at him, caught his eyes, the look in them. Oh yeah, Vin was angry, that was for sure. But what Chris wanted to know was what the hell he'd done. This wasn't the right time to ask though, not with Ezra and Josiah around.

"You guys already ate?" he asked, a bit unnecessarily since there were empty plates in front of both Ezra and Josiah. Before they could respond to his stupid question, he asked Vin, "You too, Vin"? Maybe they had already removed his plate.

Vin just looked away, as if he hadn't heard his question. There were so many things he wanted to say to Chris, but none of them would be appropriate here.

"Vin?" Chris said. If Vin was going to ignore him, he could at least do it when none of the others were around.

Ezra glanced at the two men, felt the tension between them. He had a pretty good idea what was going on, but it was none of his business. He considered most things none of his business, unless he could make money from it. It had worked well so far. He cleared his throat. "It seems our young friend has momentarily lost his ability to create sounds with his mouth, so I will take on the responsibility of answering for him," he said.

Chris looked at Ezra, for the hundreth or so time wondering why he couldn't just speak like a normal man. Then he glanced at Vin, saw him glaring at Ezra. He couldn't help smiling. Vin was pretty sweet when he was angry. But not half as sweet as he'd been that day when he'd kissed him. He'd looked so lost somehow, and at the same time he'd looked as if he'd found just what he'd been looking for all along. Chris knew he himself had, and he was not going to lose it. He just had to find out what had happened between that kiss and now. "Please do, Ezra," Chris said, getting an angry look from Vin.

Ezra smiled. "No, Vin has not eaten," he said.

Vin hated Ezra. Well, disliked him a little, anyway. "Ain't no reason for you talking like I ain't here," he grumbled.

Chris smiled at Vin. God, he loved hearing that man speak, loved the way he talked, his drawl. His language revealed his lack of education, just like Ezra's revealed the opposite, but there was no doubt who Chris could listen to for hours. Not that Vin would ever talk for hours, but if he did. "Well, you'll just have to answer when I ask you something, then," he said, smiling to take the edge off his words.

"Ain't none of your business if I eat or not," Vin said angrily.

Ezra looked at Chris, noticed the slightly hurt look on his face. He'd never get away with speaking to Chris like that, but obviously Vin did. He knew he was right about his suspicions about the two, there was definitely something going on between them. He decided not to stick around, he wasn't sure he was ready to hear anything that would confirm it. He only hoped they could keep it to themselves. "Gentlemen," he said, getting up from his chair, "I believe the fresh air is calling for me to come join it outside."

Josiah stood up too. "I'm not sure what fresh air you're talking about," he said, thinking about the dust and the heat outside, "But I'm coming with you." He wasn't quite sure what was going on here, but whatever it was, it was between Chris and Vin.

Chris watched Ezra and Josiah leave, then looked at Vin again. He was leaning back in his chair, but didn't look as comfortable as he usually did. "You should eat something, Vin," he said softly.

"And you should mind your own business," Vin said, giving him the same angry look he'd given Ezra earlier.

Chris sighed. "What have I done, Vin? I thought we were...you know..." What were they, really? Lovers? They hadn't slept together, so he didn't think lovers was the right word. But he'd thought they were a couple at least. He thought of Vin as his, no matter how angry the younger man was now. Chris knew he hadn't done anything wrong, there must just be some misunderstanding between them. He looked around. The saloon was almost empty, but he didn't want to talk to Vin there anyway, not about this. People often had better hearing than they let on.

"So did I," Vin said. "I also thought we were...you know..." he mimicked Chris, looking almost contemptuous.

"Vin, I-"

"You what?" Vin interrupted him. He leaned forward and spoke silently, angrily. "I ain't gonna let you treat me like shit, Chris. Anyone else can do it, but not you. I ain't gonna take it, not again."

Chris looked at Vin, and shook his head slowly. "Vin," he began, "Please explain to me what it is you won't take. What did I do?"

Vin was silent for a while. Chris seemed so honestly lost, he almost backed down. "Remember that day we were out riding?" he said.

Chris nodded. "Of course I do," he said softly.

"You told me how much I mean to you," Vin continued.

"I meant it," Chris said. He had no idea where all this was leading.

"What if I said I know something about what you want," Vin said. He still felt it would be wrong to let Chris know what Buck had told him.

Chris was getting annoyed. Vin was using words he understood perfectly, but he still didn't know what he was getting at. "Well, Vin, I know exactly what I want, but why don't you tell me," he said. "You know, just in case I don't know myself what I want," he added sarcastically.

Vin sat back in his chair again. Either Chris was messing with him, or he really didn't know what he was talking about. "Well, it ain't me you want, that's for sure," Vin said sadly. All his anger was gone now. What was left was the feeling that he'd lost Chris, the one thing he'd decided he wouldn't do. He got up from his chair, taking his coffee cup with him, and slowly began walking away.

"Vin," Chris said, turning around. His friend had stopped, but wouldn't look at him. "You're wrong." He didn't know what more to say just then. He watched Vin leave the saloon, then began eating some of his now cold breakfast. It didn't taste much, and he'd rather just go after Vin and work things out, but he decided to leave him alone for the time being. After eating about half of his breakfast, he left the saloon and took a walk around town. He walked past Ezra, Josiah and Vin who stood talking to each other. Vin hardly acknowledged him, and if Chris had not already felt down about what was going on, or not going on between he and Vin, that did it. It was like nothing had ever happened between them at all.

He stopped by the Clarion News Office and sat down on the porch outside. Grabbing a loose piece of wood laying on the ground, he took out his knife and began carving it. It was intended to be a horse, one just like so many others that he'd made for Adam all those years ago. He couldn't explain to himself why he did it. He knew he shouldn't, it only depressed him and made him think about his lost family, and today it also made him think about Vin, and that he might have lost him too. But he didn't stop. It was as if he actually wanted to make himself fall into a state of depression. He felt maybe that was where he really belonged, after all. Meeting Vin had made life worth living again. It had made him think about more than revenge for his family, but now everything seemed to be turning back to normal, the last thing he wanted. Normal meant no Vin, and he'd be damned if he would just sit back and watch that little chance of happiness just disappear.

He decided he would talk to Vin as soon as there was a good opportunity, and was just about to get up and leave when he saw Mary come walking with a young boy. Her son Billy, he assumed. It was pretty much the only thing she'd been talking about the last week; her son coming to visit her. He was happy for her, but seeing the boy with his mother didn't improve his mood at all. He knew he had to find Vin, and talk to him, make whatever was wrong right again. Mary appeared to be in heaven, but Chris noticed Billy didn't quite share her feelings. He didn't know why, and wouldn't ask either. He had enough problems of his own right now. He heard Mary and the hotel owner talk, and then Mary walked away without her son to get him something to eat. Chris glanced at Billy, saw that he was curious about what he was doing.

"What do you think? Think that looks like a horse?" he asked the boy, even managing a small smile. Billy nodded. "It's yours," Chris said, giving the little horse to the boy, who smiled and walked into Mary's office.

Chris felt good. He might not be too happy himself today, but at least he'd made the young boy happy. He stayed on the porch, and just sat there thinking, wondering how he should approach his angry, young friend to make everything all right again, when Billy suddenly came running out of the office. He was scared, that much was obvious, and he ran right out onto the street, and when he noticed the wagon coming towards him at full speed, he seemed to become frozen with fear. Chris knew there was no way that Billy wouldn't be run over unless he did something. He or someone else, but he was closest, and he acted quickly and ran towards the boy and grabbed him, pushing him to safety. When Mary had reached her son, and was holding him so close it looked like she'd never let him go, Chris asked the boy if he was all right, but didn't get a reply. He touched the brim of his hat as if saying 'You're welcome', but he really didn't expect anyone to thank him for saving their life. Saving other people's lives was almost everyday business for him. He just wished he could save his own too.

*

Mary walked with Billy to Nathan. It didn't look like he'd been hurt, but she wanted to make sure. And now that she knew her son was fine, at least physically, all she could think of was how Chris, the man she wouldn't mind starting a new family with, had saved Billy. He'd thrown himself in front of the wagon, risking his own life. Chris was a real man. He was handsome, brave and nice. Sort of nice, anyway. And she was a beautiful woman, she knew she was, and it bothered her that Chris didn't seem to notice that. She did realise that he still thought about his dead wife and son a lot, but surely he needed to get on with his life some time? And why not with her? She and Billy would give him the home he'd lost, and together the three of them would build a new life. Maybe they would even become four, or five. She wasn't sure what it was that she felt for him, it didn't feel like love, and she knew she wasn't *in* love with him. But she was definitely attracted to him, and she knew he'd make a good husband and father. And there were so many few good men around, you had to hold on to what you had. Only problem for Mary was that she didn't quite have Chris, not yet. She knew that needed to change.

She went looking for him, intending to thank him for saving Billy, and to ask him a favor. If she only got him involved in her and Billy's life, everything else would come naturally, she was sure of that. She almost felt ashamed to admit it, even if it was only to herself, but she was glad now that there were so few women in Four Corners. As far as she was aware, all the other women in town were already married, apart from a few who were widows, but they were quite old, anyway, and wouldn't interest Chris. She wouldn't have to compete for his attention.

When she spotted him, she was glad to see that he was reading. So few men, and women for that matter, could read. It would be good for Billy to have a role model like Chris. She walked towards him, suddenly feeling almost shy. Maybe she was a bit in love with him, after all? She shook of the thought, she could think about that later.

"Mr Larabee, I'm in your debt, for saving my son," she began, then when he didn't say anything, just stared at her with a look in his eyes that she couldn't read, she continued, "I know this may be a bit presumptuous of me to ask... well, I was hoping that you might be willing to have a little talk with Billy."

"Talk?" Chris said. What did she want from him this time? Thanking him for saving her son was one thing; she was a polite woman, he'd expected her to come find him and do that. But he'd rather be left alone right now. He'd gone looking for Vin, but hadn't found him, and he was in a worse mood now than he'd been earlier.

"You see, he's never spoken about the night his father was killed," Mary said.

"Well, I can understand that," Chris said.

"But I think he needs to," Mary insisted. "It'll keep haunting him."

"Think he saw what happened that night?" Chris asked.

"I hope not," Mary said, with one of her well-used suffering expressions on her face. She was aware that she used that look a little too often, but so many men fell for it. Why couldn't Chris fall for it, too? But at least this time she didn't fake it. Whenever she thought about Billy losing his father, it broke her heart. "But the loss of his father alone is enough to..." She stopped. Chris didn't seem to think this was a good idea, she could see that. But she wouldn't give up without having really tried. "Well, he... he hasn't been the same since. That's partly why I sent him to live with his grandparents. There's too many ghosts here."

"Maybe he just needs a little more time. Best to just leave him be," Chris said. He knew all about ghosts, but if he could hardly handle his own ones, how could he take care of someone else's?

Mary shook her head. "No, we've done that, and he hasn't gotten any better. But when I saw him with you earlier, the way he looked at you... he even smiled," she said, smiling herself.

"I don't know, Mary. I'm just not sure I'd be much help." Chris had to admit it was nice the way the boy had looked at him the way young boys often looked at older men, admiringly. But he was beginning to understand what Mary was after, and he wasn't ready to become someone else's kid's stepfather. Not to mention that he wasn't ready, or even interested, to be with Mary. Vin was the one for him, the only one he wanted to be with, even if things were a bit rough between them right now.

Mary nodded, understanding perfectly. "All right," she said. She was disappointed, really disappointed. Chris had even begun reading his book before she'd even left, to let her know he didn't want to talk with her anymore, she assumed. She walked away, her heart feeling heavy. She worked so hard, and still, things so very seldom went her way. But she wouldn't give up, she'd just have to think of something else.

*

Chris decided to take a walk around town before going to bed. He was bored and depressed, and he wanted to see Vin. He hadn't seen him since this morning, when Vin had been talking to Josiah and Ezra, and ignored him. Chris needed to know what was wrong. If he only knew, he could fix it. When he noticed the younger man walking around on the main street, his heart skipped a few beats.

"Vin," he called. To deaf ears, it seemed, because Vin didn't stop. "Oh, for God's sake," Chris grumbled quietly to himself, then ran to catch up with Vin. "Didn't you hear me?" he said.

Vin stopped, but didn't look at Chris. He'd hoped he wouldn't meet him. "I heard you," he said, sounding cockier than he felt.

"But you just ignored me, like you've been doing for a few days now," Chris said.

Vin shrugged. "I ain't ignoring you," he said.

"Yes you are," Chris said. "You're acting like there's nothing between us, and you're gonna tell me why."

"Or else?" Vin asked.

Chris sighed. "Or else nothing," he said. "I'd never hurt you, and you know that damn well. But you're hurting me with what you're doing, and you seem to not even care."

Vin looked at Chris. He did look hurt. What if Buck *had* lied to him? Maybe Chris wasn't interested in Mary, and all that she could give him. "Ain't trying to hurt you," he said weakly.

"But that's what you're doing, Vin," Chris said. "I thought we had something, you and me." It was dark, and few people were outside. Chris dared a brief touch to Vin's arm. "Don't we?" he asked softly.

Vin nodded slowly. "I hoped we did," he said.

"What happened to make you think we don't? Did anyone say something to you?" Chris thought about that. Who would talk to Vin, and say something that would turn him against him? As far as he knew, Buck was the only one who suspected something, but he seemed to stay away from Vin as much as he could. That annoyed Chris, but maybe it was for the best. For now, anyway. Maybe Mary had said something, but Chris thought that even if she had, Vin should understand that he had no interest in her.

"No one's said anything," Vin said, avoiding meeting Chris's eyes.

Chris noticed that, and shook his head. "You're such a lousy liar, Vin," he said, his voice tender. "Who talked to you, and what did they say?"

Vin turned to walk away. "I'm really tired," he said.

Chris stopped him with a firm hand on his shoulder. "Vin," he said, sharper than he'd intended. "Was it Buck?" Vin didn't answer, but Chris could see in his eyes that his guess was right. "Buck. Of course," he said. "What did he say?"

Vin shrugged. "Just that you wanted a new family, and that he thought you and Mary would make a great couple..."

"I'm gonna kill that man," Chris said, angrily. "And you believed him?"

"It made sense. He told me how happy you were with your family, and-"

"I *was* happy with my family," Chris interrupted him. "But they're gone, and I've never breathed a word to Buck about wanting a new family. Maybe if you wanna know something about how I feel, you should talk to me," he said, still upset. At Buck, mostly.

"Okay," Vin said. He felt stupid. He should've known better than to listen to Buck, especially since he knew how Buck felt about the idea of he and Chris together. "I'm sorry," he added, looking down at the ground.

"Don't be," Chris said. "It's not your fault, it's Buck's fault. He's a good friend, but he doesn't know me half as well as he thinks. And he sure as hell don't know what I want."

"Actually, I think he does," Vin said. "That's probably why he lied to me about you and Mary. He wants to keep us apart."

"You gonna let him?" Chris asked, looking straight into Vin's eyes.

Vin shook his head no.

"Good." He and Vin stood quietly together for a moment, before Chris spoke again. "What have you been doing all day, anyway? I've tried to find you several times."

Vin smiled. "I've been trying to avoid you, that's what I've been doing."

Chris laughed. "I figured," he said.

"And me and Josiah and JD spent some time with Ezra's mother tonight. I know now where Ezra got his gambling skills," Vin said, smiling.

"Ezra's mother, yes," Chris said. "Ezra don't seem too excited about her presence from what I've seen."

"They sure seem to have issues," Vin agreed. "She's a fun woman, though."

"I'm sure," Chris said. "What about you and me, then? Are we okay?" he asked.

"Yeah..." Vin didn't know what more to say. He was relieved that Buck had lied, and that there was nothing going on between Chris and Mary.

"Can't you come with me to my room?" Chris said. "I don't mean stay the night, just... we could talk some more."

"I'd like that," Vin said, almost shyly. "But I ain't sure it's such a good idea."

"Why not?" Chris said.

"You know... someone might see us."

Chris nodded. "I guess we'll have to be careful. Come here," he said, taking Vin's arm, and steering him towards the porch outside the Hardware store. He gently pushed Vin down, then sat down close beside him. They sat in silence for a long moment, glancing at each other now and then. Chris felt happier than he had in a long time. After making sure no one was watching them, he reached his hand up to caress Vin's hair, running his fingers through it. "Are you mine?" he asked Vin, regretfully withdrawing his hand.

Vin looked at him, surprised. Did he belong to Chris? But apart from belonging to himself, yes, he did belong to Chris. He nodded. "Yeah, I'm yours," he said quietly. "And you?"

"Am I yours?"

"Yeah. Are you mine, Chris?"

Chris smiled. "Sure am," he said. And if he could only tell everyone else that he was, things would be almost perfect.

*

Vin had just had some coffee when he saw Mary come running down the street, screaming at the top of her lungs. "Mrs Travis," he said, "Mrs Travis, what's wrong?"

"He's gone. I woke up and he was gone," Mary said, close to hysterical.

"Mrs Travis, he's probably just wandering around the town," Vin said, trying to calm her down. It didn't work. She kept running and screaming. Vin began walking towards the boarding house to get Chris, but Chris was already on his way.

"What's happening, Vin?" Chris said.

"Billy's gone, apparently," Vin said.

"Oh, shit," Chris said. "Good morning, by the way," he added, lightly squeezing Vin's shoulder.

"Good morning," Vin said, smiling.

They reached their horses, and began preparing them for the ride. There was never any discussion any longer who would ride with who. Chris and Vin always rode together, if they had the possibility, and the others could choose themselves who they wanted to ride with, a bit depending on what mission they were on. Mary was saddling up her own horse, and wanted to come with them, but Chris told her it would be better for her to stay in town in case Billy came back. He did think it was better for her to stay, but mostly he wanted to be alone with Vin. Josiah, JD and Ezra went in one direction, and Chris and Vin in another, while Buck and Nathan stayed in Four Corners and kept looking for the boy. With seven men looking for Billy, there was a good chance of finding him, unless he'd been kidnapped, but there were no indications of that. They rode at full speed at first, then slowed down after a while. Vin jumped off his horse to look for tracks on the ground.

"We're getting closer," Vin said. "He's managed to cover a lot of ground for a little kid."

"He must be scared," Chris said.

Vin got back up on his horse. "What do you think made him up and run off like that?"

"I don't know," Chris said. "He's running from something."

"Ain't we all?" Vin said.

"I guess," Chris said. They kept riding slowly, looking for Billy. "I'm glad you're not running from me anymore, though."

Vin looked at Chris. "Yeah, I shouldn't have listened to Buck, I know that now."

"Well, I can't really blame you. Buck's a smooth talker, I'll give him that," Chris said. "Speaking of running from things... I've been thinking about what you said when we were in Purgatorio."

"What did I say?"

"That thing about us going to hell," Chris said.

Vin laughed. "You don't think that's where we're going?"

"Well, I ain't sure. I know what we're doing is considered wrong, but I ain't so sure about going to hell for it," Chris said.

"Oh," Vin said. "I ain't so sure about that either. I was just referring to us in general. We've killed a few people, you know. I don't think God approves of that."

"Well," Chris said, not liking the idea of God judging him. "I can only speak for myself of course, but as far as I know, I ain't ever killed an innocent man."

"Me neither," Vin said, laughing. "But I ain't sure if God takes that into consideration."

"Maybe not," Chris said. After a moment of silence, he added, "So you don't think what we're doing is wrong?"

"No," Vin said, moving his horse closer to Chris's. "I don't think it's a sin being with another man. I know most people think it is, but I don't," he said. "It can't be a sin feeling the way I do," he added quietly.

Chris knew he shouldn't pressure Vin, but he couldn't resist asking, "And how do you feel?"

Vin looked at him from under the brim of his hat. "You know," he said, so low Chris could barely hear him.

Chris smiled. He loved this soft side of Vin, his shyness. "I think I might have an idea, but why don't you tell me," he said teasingly. He couldn't remember when he'd last been this silly, and he was probably too old to be, but he was enjoying it.

"Well, I said I was yours, didn't I?" Vin said. He wanted to tell Chris he loved him, but he was afraid it would come out sounding stupid. He'd never said it to anyone before, he thought maybe he should practise saying it alone first.

Chris smiled. He was pretty sure Vin loved him, but he seemed as reluctant to say it as he himself was. "You did," he said. "I just hope you realise that when I have something good, I hold on to it."

"I hope that's a promise?" Vin said, glad that Chris didn't push the subject further.

"Sure is," Chris said, and reached out to take Vin's hand. He held it for a while, then let go.

After a few more minutes, Vin stopped his horse. "I think he's here somewhere," he said.

Chris had no idea what Vin saw, but he trusted his skills. "Let's go have a look around," he said, getting off his horse.

Vin dismounted too, and began searching the area. When he spotted Billy, he ran after him and grabbed him. He was glad when Chris reached them and helped him with the boy, who seemed to think they weren't there for his sake at all.

Then someone began shooting at them, and they had to run for cover. Chris brought Billy with him, and yelled for Vin to get down. If something happened to Billy now, after they'd managed to find him, Mary would be devastated. If something happened to Vin, Chris would be devastated. It didn't occur to him at first that Vin might feel the same if something happened to him. He'd lived for so long now with the feeling that it didn't matter much if he was dead or alive, and the only reason he'd had to stay alive at all was to get revenge. He thought about it all the way back to town. He had another reason to live now, and he actually wanted to live. He reckoned he'd enjoy getting used to the feeling.

*

Chris opened the door to Mary's old house, where he'd taken Billy. The boy would be safe there while the others, hopefully, took care of whoever it was that was after him. He'd wanted to go with them, and have someone else stay with Billy, but the boy was scared, and he was the only one in town, except for Mary, that he seemed not to be afraid of. He prayed that things would go well, and he did know that he couldn't be by Vin's side all the time, couldn't protect him from everything. He also knew that he needed to have some faith in the skills of his six partners. They were just as good as he was. The thought calmed him a little, but he couldn't stop thinking about Vin, and that things did go wrong sometimes.

He walked inside the old house, noticing that Billy was reluctant to follow him. No wonder, this was where the boy's father had been murdered, and his memories of the place were probably highly unpleasant. He and the boy talked, and Billy seemed a little less scared now. Chris was glad he could do that for him, and being here with Billy reminded him of how much he liked kids. And how much he missed Adam, and Sarah. But he hadn't lied when he'd told Vin he didn't want a new family. If it was possible, he'd like to be able to change the past, and have his old family back, but that would never happen. To him, Vin was his family now, even if no one else would ever consider two men a family. Maybe in the future they would live together. They were both handy, they could build a house together. The idea made Chris smile. Never since he lost his family had he thought so much about the future, and now, starting a new life with Vin was almost constantly on his mind. He figured maybe he should talk to Vin about it first, before he made plans that Vin might not agree to. But thinking about it was no crime, and it took the darkness out of his thoughts.

The hours went by, and despite Vin occupying his thoughts most of the time, being in Mary's house, where a family just like his own had once lived, made him think about Sarah and Adam, and the revenge he still intended to get for them. Whoever killed his family wouldn't get away with it. He hoped Vin would understand, and that he wouldn't mistake it for anything else than what it was.

He was just beginning to wonder what took his partners so long, when he heard commotion outside, then before he could hardly react, his arm was hit. He went to get Billy, and told him they had to get to the barn. He heard a sound from the doorway, and drew his gun, shooting whoever it was, then they ran together from the house to the barn. He lifted Billy onto his horse, and told him to ride away from there. He was outnumbered, and every time he fired his gun, two or three people fired back at him. Then his ammunition ran out, and he knew he was in a very bad situation, when Billy came riding back, pushing the man who was going to shoot him to the ground. Thank God for disobedient kids, he thought.

He heard riders coming towards the house, and he prayed that it was his partners, because if it wasn't, he and Billy would both be history within seconds. He saw a man with long, dark hair approaching them with his gun ready. The man fired once, but missed, then another shot was heard, and Chris carefully looked up. The man was lying on the ground, and behind him were Vin and Peso. Chris figured Vin must have shot the man in the back, something he knew that Chris disliked. Well, I might change my mind about that after this, Chris thought. He was so happy to see Vin, but there was no way for him to show it, he couldn't even manage a smile, his arm hurt so much. But he and Billy were safe now, and so was Vin, and his other partners. Right now, that was all that mattered.

*

"How's your arm?" Vin asked Chris. It was after midnight, but they were out walking around town. It gave them a good alibi to be together. They were hired to keep the town peaceful, and that's what they were doing, at least that's what people would think when they saw them.

"Hurts a bit, but not too bad," Chris said. "It could've gone worse."

"Yeah, you got me mighty scared there, Cowboy," Vin said. When he'd seen the long haired man pointing his gun at Chris and Billy, he'd reacted instinctively. Afterwords, he'd thought of what Chris always said about never shooting a man in the back. Well, that was Chris's rule, not his.

"I'm glad," Chris said, smiling.

"You're glad?" Vin said. "Well, thanks a lot, Chris. I didn't know you liked me being scared."

"It means you care," Chris clarified.

Vin snorted. "As if you didn't already know that."

"I guess I did," Chris said. They kept walking. The town was dark and quiet. It was really quite nice. And Vin was with him. What more could he ask for? He thought about tomorrow, and what he'd promised Billy, and knew there was one thing he could ask for, and that was that there would be no more misunderstandings between he and Vin. "Vin," he said, "I promised Billy I'd go fishing with him tomorrow."

Vin looked at Chris, and smiled. "That's nice of you," he said.

"Well, I thought he could use having some fun for a change," Chris said. "I just wanted to tell you, and I want you to know that it doesn't have anything to do with Mary."

"Oh," Vin said. "You thought I would think that?"

"Well, wouldn't you?" Chris said.

Vin laughed. "Maybe," he said. And the truth was, if Chris hadn't told him, and he'd found out some other way, he probably would've suspected something. He wouldn't admit it to Chris, but he did still feel a bit uncertain about what he and Chris had. They hadn't even slept together yet. The thought of being with Chris intimately both excited and scared him. He wouldn't admit that to Chris, either.

"You got nothing to worry about, Vin. Believe me," Chris said. He wanted to tell Vin that he was so in love with him that he hardly looked at other people anymore. Not like that, anyway. But he could still understand if Vin doubted him, considering how stupid he'd behaved earlier.

"Well, I hope you guys have fun," Vin said.

"Why don't you come with us?" Chris said.

Vin looked at him, honestly surprised. "You're kidding, right?"

"No," Chris said, a bit disappointed with Vin's reaction. "It could be fun, don't you think?"

Vin shrugged. "I don't think so. I ain't very comfortable around children."

"Does that mean you don't like children?" Chris asked.

"No, it means I ain't comfortable around them," Vin said. "Don't matter much, does it? Ain't like you're gonna get me pregnant or nothing," he added.

Chris smiled, and decided to drop the subject of children for now. He didn't want to have another argument with Vin, not now. "I wish I could," he said, laughing.

Vin laughed too. "Well, Chris, I'll make a deal with you," he said. "If you ever manage to get me pregnant, I'll have your baby."

Chris laughed, putting his arm around Vin's shoulder, drawing him close. "That a promise?"

"Well, it sure ain't no threat," Vin said.

"I look forward to trying," Chris said. He could feel Vin tense. "I was only joking, Vin," he said. "You nervous about it?"

"No," Vin lied.

"I am, a bit," Chris said, deciding to be truthful when Vin wouldn't be. He moved his arm lower, and stroked Vin's back, before letting go.

"You are?" Vin said. Chris Larabee, nervous about being with him? That had to be a lie.

"Well," Chris said. "I'm kinda hoping you'll want to spend the rest of your life with me, so I figured it wouldn't be a good idea to mess up the first time."

Vin stopped. He looked at Chris, trying to see if he was bluffing. "You mean that?" he asked.

"Yeah, I mean it," Chris said. "You should know by now that if there's one thing I don't like, it's messing things up, whatever I do."

Vin shook his head. "No, I meant the other thing you said."

"Oh, that," Chris said. He'd said it without even thinking about what he was actually saying, but he had meant it. "Yeah, I mean it. Of course, if you don't feel the same..." Chris suddenly got a bit nervous. Maybe his feelings for Vin were stronger than Vin's feelings for him. That might sort of change things.

Vin stepped closer to Chris. "I do feel the same," he said.

"You don't know how much it means to me hearing that," Chris said softly, his voice barely carrying. He remembered telling Billy that sometimes the bravest thing after losing someone was to just go on living, but too often he'd felt like just ending his meaningless life, thinking it would never get better. But now it had, and he had proof that he'd been wrong.

"Looking mighty intimate there, pards."

Both Chris and Vin turned around when they heard the familiar voice.

Chris sighed, getting angry just seeing Buck, his lying friend. "What's that supposed to mean, Buck?"

"It's supposed to mean that maybe the two of you ought to be more careful with those affectionate little touches in public," Buck said, looking disgusted.

"I guess it would be better if it was Mary here with me," Chris said. "'Cause you know how much I like her, don't you, Buck?" Chris asked, staring angrily at Buck. "In fact, I even wanna start a family with her, don't I?"

Buck looked contemptuously at Vin. "Had to run to Chris, did you? Guess you're too young to take care of things yourself? How old are you, anyway? Fifteen?"

"Oh, shut the fuck up, Buck," Chris said. "You know he ain't that young." Chris looked at Vin, who stayed silent, looking at the ground. He did look very young, Chris thought, but he'd thought that from the beginning. But he sure wasn't fifteen. "And he didn't come running to me. I found out, anyway. You really thought I wouldn't?"

Buck ignored his question, looking straight at Vin. "And you and I co-operated so well today. Shit, you almost scared me the way you threatened that man we hung upside down in that tree. For a while, you almost had me believeing you were a real man. Too bad you had to go changing that like this."

Chris grinned, despite the situation. "Upside down in a tree? Vin, I had no idea..."

Vin shrugged, giving Chris a brief smile. "Hey, you do what you gotta do." Turning to Buck, he said, "I don't wanna fight, Buck, not with you."

"Well, son," Buck said, the term of endearment completely lacking affection, "I don't wanna fight with you either, but I ain't about to watch you inflict your immoral values on Chris. God knows where you learned them," he said, almost spitting the words out.

"My what?" Vin asked. Shit, Buck had almost sounded like Ezra there for a while.

"Your immoral values, Vin," Buck repeated. "What's the matter, you can't understand English no more? Or am I using too difficult words for you?"

"That's enough, Buck," Chris said, ready to smash his fist into Buck's face. Vin might lack formal education, but that was not for Buck to comment on. Besides, Vin was still smarter than most men Chris had met, and he had skills most so called educated men could only dream of. "Why don't you just go back to where you came from, before you say something you'll regret."

"Hey, if you wanna destroy your reputation-"

"Where did you come from, by the way?" Chris interrupted him. "Some married woman's room?" Chris watched Buck, and saw that he'd been right. "And I take it you weren't only having a nice chat with her?"

Buck shrugged. "She might be married, but at least she's a woman," he said, not wanting his own view on morality questioned.

"That makes it all right, of course?" Chris sneered. He looked at Vin, who was quiet, and half hiding behind him. All his anger disappeared. "Just go, Buck," he said. If you wanna discuss this, we can do it some other time, all right?"

Buck looked at Vin. The young man who he knew was more than capable of taking care of himself was nowhere to be found. "Yeah, why not," he said, "I guess you gotta go put the kid here to bed. You shouldn't stay up this late, Vin. You're still growing, you need your sleep." He laughed, feeling mighty evil. If he couldn't stop Chris from being with Vin, he'd make damn sure they at least understood perfectly what he thought about it. He turned around and left before either Chris or Vin could reply.

Chris shook his head slowly. "Sorry about that, Vin," he said.

"Ain't your fault him being like that," Vin said.

"He'll get used to it," Chris said, but he wasn't so sure.

"I doubt it," Vin said. "But as long as he don't tell anyone else..."

"He won't," Chris said. "He's more worried about me ruining my reputation than I am myself." He turned around to face Vin, who was still standing behind him. "You ain't scared of him, are you?" he asked, concerned.

Vin shook his head. "No, I'm scared of what I might do if he goes too far," he said. "If he wants to insult me, fine, but I won't take it listening to him disrespect you."

"I'll talk to him when I get the chance, make sure he leaves us alone," Chris said.

"He's awfully interested in you starting a new family," Vin said.

Chris smiled. "Well, I'd say he's awfully interested in me not being with a man. He sure seems to have a problem with that."

"Or maybe it's just me that's the problem," Vin said. "Maybe if you were with Ezra, he'd be okay with it. I think he likes Ezra better."

Chris laughed, shaking his head. "I do like Ezra, but..." He kept shaking his head. "No, I think Buck feels Mary's just the right one for me. Mary, or some other woman."

Vin nodded, feeling that stupid insecurity again. If he and Chris could just go somewhere together for a few days, maybe it would go away. "You know, you might not want Mary, but she sure wants you," he said. And it sure would make things easier for you, he added silently to himself.

Chris put his hand on Vin's neck, stroking gently. "Don't worry about that, Vin. I've noticed her being a bit interested in me, and I'm doing my best to push her away, but I don't wanna be too mean. I just have to make her understand that I don't want her, and she *will* understand." He played some with Vin's hair, then withdrew his hand. "Mary's a lot of things, but she ain't so stupid she'll keep running after a man who don't want her."

"I hope so," Vin said quietly. There were many things he would do to men if they bothered him or Chris in any way, but he could do none of those things to a woman, and he knew it. All he could do was try to trust Chris, and try to forget the way he'd been hurt by him before.

*

End, part V.