Sequel to "Do I Know You From Somewhere" and "Not That Kind"

*****

Buck's mood had been good and improving ever since he'd decided to take JD with him to Wickes Town. Vin's comment about him and JD was almost forgotten. Buck knew who he was, and more importantly, what he was. And he was nothing like Vin, had never looked at another man the way Vin did, and, he assumed, always had done. Buck and JD had become good friends, and he'd honestly admit to caring for the younger man if anyone asked, but that's where it stopped. What two men did with each other was not right. And Chris, who had had such a beautiful wife, how could he even think about being with a man? Buck didn't get it, but decided not to think about it more, not today. He and JD were going to find themselves a woman each, and do things the right way. He turned his attention back to JD, who seemed ever so excited. Buck had an idea why, and smiled. Thank God not all young men were out to corrupt older men with their pretty looks.

When they arrived in the small town, they headed for the saloon first. Buck had a feeling JD needed a whiskey or two to overcome his shyness. When JD pointed at a blonde man sitting close to one of Wickes' women, and asked if it wasn't Chris, he was surprised to see that it was indeed Chris. Surprised, and pleased. Maybe his friend hadn't been corrupted after all. Maybe Vin was the loser in the stupid game he and Chris had seemed to be playing ever since they met. Buck wondered if it was the thought of Sarah that had made Chris come to his senses. Or maybe it was the whore he was with now. She was beautiful. Not as beautiful as Sarah had been, but still, a lovely woman. Buck found his mood was even better now, and he began encouraging JD to pick a woman. This turned out to be a really good day. For a while at least.

After JD and the sweet, blonde girl that he chose had gone into their tent, Buck decided to go back to the saloon for some more whiskey, and to find a nice lady of his own. He didn't get so far, though. The man who had just a while ago been so friendly to him and JD in the saloon was obviously not treating everyone that way. And if it was one thing Buck couldn't stand, it was men beating women, whether it was their own wifes, or working girls. Especially working girls. Managing to stop Wickes from beating the young lady again, Buck didn't achieve much more before Wickes' men came to the rescue of their boss. While receiving blow after blow from Wickes, all Buck could think of was that he should've known that Wickes had people working for him in his own town, and that those people were there to assure the security of Wickes, and not his women.

At the right moment, or at least just a little too late, a gunshot was heard, and Buck was let go of. He didn't have to see who had shot to know it was Chris. Apart from himself and JD, who had apparently been too busy with the lady in the tent to notice the commotion outside, Chris was the only real man in Wickes Town, it seemed. Buck hurt badly from the beating, but looking at the young woman, he could see that in comparison he was doing just fine. The other woman, whom Buck now recognized as the woman Chris had been with earlier, was kneeling by her side, and he suspected Wickes would have a talk with her when they had left. Right now, though, the important thing was to get the younger woman to Nathan. Together with Chris, JD, and the working girl, they left Wickes Town. Buck looked back once before riding on with the others. The place that just a while ago had been so inviting, had seemed like a friendly place, was now just an area of a few small tents filled with scared women, and the atmosphere all around was sinister. This town had no appeal for him any longer, but he had a feeling he'd come back again.

*

When they came to Four Corners, Chris told Buck and JD to take the young lady to Nathan's, then he went to look for Vin. He missed him so much it was almost painful. How had he managed to get himself into this mess, anyway? Was it when he'd agreed to come with him to Tascosa? When he'd thought about it later, he'd realized that he'd never offered to go anywhere with anyone after such a short acquaintance. If Vin knew that, he would know. Know how he felt. Maybe he did anyway. There was just something about how Vin was with him, compared to how he was with the others. They were all friends, even though Buck still seemed uneasy when Vin was around, but whenever it was just he and Vin, the younger man let his guard down, as if wanting to let Chris know how safe he felt with him. How much he trusted him. How much he...felt for him. Whatever it was that he felt. Love? Attraction? If attraction, was it sexual?

It occured to Chris that he didn't really know in what way Vin thought about him. That Vin cared about him was apparent, but did he think about him the same way Chris thought about him? The way he'd thought about him earlier today when he'd been with Lydia? He'd tried to stop himself, but pictures of Vin had kept popping up in his head while he'd been pushing in and out of Lydia. In his mind, Vin had been naked, willingly sucking him, letting Chris slide in and out of his mouth, just like he had in the dozens of fantasies he'd had of him before. Then he'd got down on his hands and knees, just like Lydia, and it was him that Chris had entered. Lydia had been the flesh, but Vin had been everything else. And when he came, he'd been this close to screaming Vin's name. That would've been a bit hard to explain to Lydia. Not that he ever screamed her name, he just screamed, but screaming a man's name would probably have insulted her badly.

While walking around the town looking for Vin, he kept thinking about his fantasies about him. Vin was always naked, or half naked, in them, but Chris knew he couldn't actually know how Vin would look naked, because he'd never seen him without clothes. He didn't even know what it felt like to touch his skin. And in his fantasies, Vin was always more than willing to do anything, please him anyway he wanted him to, but would he really be that way if they ever...? Chris wondered if Vin fantasized about him the same way, and if so, who did what? Did Vin please Chris in his own dreams, or did he make Chris please him? The thought suddenly struck Chris; he'd never actually pleased Vin in any of his fantasies. Vin had done everything, had made him come over and over, but had never come himself. Chris began feeling angry at himself for his fantasies, even if he couldn't change them. As things were right now, they were all he had of Vin intimately, and he needed them that way. But still. Fucking selfish bastard, he thought. You don't deserve Vin.

But he wanted him. So badly. He was still battling with himself over whether it would be right or not to tell Vin about how he felt, though. And when he was honest with himself, he knew that it wasn't just that. It was the fear of being rejected. What if Vin did not at all feel the same way? What if he'd misjudged all the little signs?

"Hey there, cowboy."

Chris looked up. He realised he'd been walking around town deeply immersed in his own thoughts, something quite unusual for a man like him. "Vin." He looked at his younger friend, his stomach suddenly feeling as if it had a big knot in it. He hated that feeling. It wasn't the first time he'd felt that way around Vin, and he was tired of it. If it would never go further than that between them, maybe it was best if they went their separate ways. Did Vin have any idea what his presence did to him? Could he possibly understand what Chris wanted to do whenever he was around? "I was looking for you," he said, looking around the street casually, not wanting to meet Vin's eyes.

Vin looked at him searchingly. "I've been looking for you, too. I was wondering where you were." Their eyes met, and Vin looked down. He knew his question made it seem like he was keeping track of Chris's whereabouts, and that was not it at all. He'd just missed him. He'd never even come close to feeling like this for anyone before, and he was still trying to get used to it. He knew his love wasn't unrequited, but he also knew that Chris wasn't a brave man in everything he did. Chris would never take the first step, so Vin knew that if he wanted anything to happen between them, he'd have to do it himself. But he wasn't always all that brave, either. Right now, he was more scared than he'd been in a long time. He'd never known that emotions could scare him more than someone else's gun pointed at him, but that's how it felt now when the man he loved was standing right in front of him. All he wanted was to take two steps forward, and be enfolded in Chris's embrace. He'd never been held by anyone before, not since his mother died, and he wanted to know how it felt with Chris's strong arms holding him close. He felt Chris's eyes on him, and looked up again, the intensity of his feelings for the older man almost making his head spin. Damn Larabee for crossing his path, and turning his world upside down. But as he thought it, it made him feel good. This was what he wanted. He wanted to have his world turned upside down by this man. Larabee would become his. If it was the last thing he did, he'd make Chris see that they belonged with each other. "So, where were you?" he asked, shrugging nonchalantly.

Chris shrugged too, but from feeling uncomfortable. He didn't want Vin to know where he'd been. He almost felt as if he'd been cheating on him, when in fact there was really nothing going on between them. Nothing at all. If he could only convince his heart of that, too. "Oh, you know...Wickes Town. I've been there a few times."

Vin's heart sank like the heaviest stone. "Oh." He looked at Chris, knowing there was no way that he could conceal from him how hurt he felt. "Wickes Town... that's where all those, er, working girls are, right?" he said, desperately trying to take control over his emotions again. Chris seemed intent on hurting him and pushing him away, and for a moment he hated himself for having fallen so deeply in love with him. Had he not had enough sadness in his life already? But he knew that Chris was still scared. He was still scared too, but he was ready to let himself go, and just let things happen naturally. Apparently, Chris wasn't.

"There are a few of those there, yeah," Chris said, feeling sick. Vin looked sad, and a little confused, and Chris felt like walking behind one of the buildings and eat his own gun. Sure, he might still have things to live for apart from revenge. He was pretty good at keeping things in order, defending people that couldn't defend themselves, and that was worth something, but those were people he barely knew. A person like Vin came along once in a lifetime, and he was here right now, and Chris went out of his way to hurt him. He knew he'd told himself that's what he would do, but in his thoughts, Vin had mostly not seemed to care much. In his thoughts, his feelings for Vin were gone. In reality, it was painfully obvious how much he hurt Vin. And in reality, Vin was the most important thing in his life. The thought of him and Vin together kept him going, and still, he did all but tell Vin to go to hell. He knew he was even more messed up now than he'd been after the deaths of Sarah and Adam. The thought was not comforting.

"So, you were with one of them?" Vin asked, trying to keep his voice steady. He didn't really want to know. The thought of Chris letting a whore do things to him that Vin knew he could do created pictures inside his head that he didn't want there.

Chris shrugged. "Sort of," he said. Vin wasn't meant to know that he'd been with one of the working girls. Chris wondered what Vin would think if he knew that it was him that Chris had taken, not Lydia. That in his mind, he'd kissed and licked Vin's neck soothingly while entering him, but he hadn't even touched Lydia's neck. His body had fucked Lydia while his mind had made love to Vin. He smiled at the memory. When he'd been with Lydia and had kept his eyes closed, it had really been quite nice. It had been more than just a quick orgasm. All because of Vin.

"I take it it was good then?" Vin said, looking at Chris, seeing him smile. Cold son of a bitch. Maybe Chris didn't have any deeper feelings for him, after all. But if so, why did he sometimes look at him the way he did, his eyes warm with tenderness? Vin knew that he was the one who knew Chris the best, apart from Buck, but this he couldn't figure out. If Chris did care for him, why did he treat him like this? Vin had known early on that he would have to go through a lot to get Chris, and it became more and more apparent that that was how it was going to be, but this was getting ridiculous. If, when, he finally had Chris, though, any whore who came near him would live to regret it. Or maybe he should just break his promise to Judge Travis, and leave this town. Leave Chris. He looked at Chris, silently cursing him for being so damn beautiful. He knew there was something happening between them, no matter how things were right now, and he'd be damned if he didn't stay to find out what it could lead to. And he still wanted to know what it felt like to have Chris's arms around him.

Chris watched Vin. The younger man's mind seemed to be spinning, and Chris thought he had an idea why. "It wasn't that good," he said. "I've had better."

"I'm sure you have," Vin said.

Chris took a step closer. "It could be better," he said, looking Vin straight in the eyes. For all of two seconds. What the hell was he doing? Pushing Vin away one second, flirting with him the next? But Vin didn't seem to react. Or he acted like he didn't. What he really felt inside, Chris could only guess. There was a lot of acting going on between he and Vin, and most of the time he seemed to be the more talented one of them, but Vin wasn't far behind. Either he hadn't understood the implications of what Chris had said, or he acted like he hadn't. "Anyway," he said, wanting to escape from the tension that had settled between them, "There's some stuff going on in Wickes Town that we're gonna have to deal with."

"Like what?" Vin asked. He didn't care much for Wickes Town, even less for its inhabitants.

"It seems that Mr. Wickes uses doubtful methods to get his girls to do what he wants."

"Such as?"

"He beats the shit out of them." Chris told Vin about what had happened, but left out all details that included Lydia. "Anyway, we took this girl, Nora, to Nathan. He's taking care of her right now."

"That's good. When she gets better, she should just go home to wherever she came from," Vin said.

"She should. But you know, there's probably a reason why she left there in the first place." Chris watched Vin closely. The nice and friendly Vin who cared for the weaker people in society was strangely absent. Maybe Vin thought Nora was the whore he'd been with. He thought about how he would feel if he'd been the one who'd found out that Vin had been with a whore, and he realised how Vin must feel right now.

"Whatever that reason is, it must be better for her there than in Wickes Town, if that's how Wickes treats his girls."

"I guess you're right. But anyway, she's with Nathan now, and we need to get up there," Chris said.

"We? Why do I need to come with you?" Vin wasn't liking any of this much. He wanted to get away from Four Corners, if only for a few hours. Just saddle up Peso and ride off. All this talk about working girls, of which one had been with Chris, was making him sick.

Chris gave him a surprised look. "You're one of us, ain't you? You're working for Four Corners, just like the rest of us, right?"

"Four Corners, yes. Wickes Town, no." Vin knew he was being unreasonable, but there was just something about the whole thing that made him tired. He didn't want anything to do with Wickes, or his town, or his girls.

"Vin, come on, don't be like that now," Chris said, but he felt like Vin about it. He wasn't working for Wickes Town, but he'd been there when it happened, and he couldn't just let it go. He wanted at least to know that Nora would be all right.

"Fine. Whatever," Vin said, and began walking towards Nathan's, letting Chris catch up with him.

It didn't take long after they'd entered Nathan's room before someone knocked at the door. Vin opened it, not surprised to see who it was. Mary Travis seemed to be following Chris wherever he went. Sure, it was a small town, but still. And she wanted to talk to him. In private, of course. Vin watched Chris go, then he turned his attention back to Nathan and the girl. Not much else he could do.

*

Chris was fuming inside. Mary's heart was only Christianlike when it suited her. Not that he hadn't suspected that of her from the beginning, but the way she talked about the working girls now made it the more obvious. "It's one girl, Mrs. Travis," he said, wanting to end the conversation. Just then, though, a wagon with the despised ladies came into town, and Mary gave him a look that said she'd known from the beginning what he'd missed all along. Well, good for her, he thought. She loved being right, and was probably having the time of her life now, despite what she really thought about the situation.

They approached the wagon, and were soon joined by Nathan and Vin. As Chris had expected, Mary instantly began arguing with Lydia. He himself just wanted to get away from there. With Vin by his side if he could choose, but he knew luck of that kind wouldn't come his way. It was nice the way Vin stood behind him, though. He barely listened to what Mary was saying, but he heard her telling Lydia that she had a say in what went on in Four Corners. That might be the truth, but Mary herself usually acted more as if she owned the town, not only had a say in it. And apparently she liked being one of few women in Four Corners, because she seemed intent on getting the working girls to go back to Wickes Town.

When Chris felt that he'd heard just about enough, he walked away without saying a word. A few moments later, Buck joined him in the saloon.

"So, what do you think, Chris?"

"About what?"

"About the ladies," Buck said.

"It's a problem," Chris said, knowing that was something of an understatement.

"Yeah..." Buck agreed.

"But you can handle it," Chris said simply.

"Me?" Buck sounded as if Chris was joking with him. Maybe this was Chris's way of paying back for all the arguments they'd had lately.

"You're the one who picked the fight," Chris said.

Buck couldn't believe his ears. As if Chris himself hadn't been there too. "You're the one who carried the girl away," he said.

"You started it, you finish it," Chris said, getting a bit angry.

This was payback all right, but if that's the way Chris wanted it. "Fine. Then the ladies stay. We need more women around here, anyway," Buck said.

"I disagree."

Both Chris and Buck turned around. Mary Travis. Who else. Was there no getting away from that woman, Chris thought. One Mary-free day, that was all he asked for. For a start, anyway. "Of course you do," he said, and the conversation was back on again, but this time at least Buck was there, and he let him do most of the talking. He was more than relieved when Vin showed up to tell them they had company. Wickes' men might be tough to deal with, but at least it would be a change from having to listen to Mary complaining about all that she disagreed with, which was pretty much everything.

*

While talking to Lydia, despite her attempting to be inviting, all naked in the bath tub, Chris felt very little, close to nothing. Most of the feelings he'd had before around women, dressed or naked, seemed to be slowly disappearing. She was beautiful, there was no doubt about that. But Vin was beautiful too, and so much more. The thought suddenly came to him; he was truly, deeply in love with Vin. There could be no other reason for how he'd been feeling lately. If he just wanted Vin sexually, then Lydia, hell, even Mary, should hold some sexual attraction for him, but they didn't. Vin was the only one that mattered now, but what on earth was he supposed to do about it? Considering you don't dare tell Vin and take the consequences, he thought, hating himself just a little bit more than before.

When it became clear that Lydia didn't want to take his advice, he told her she and the other girls were on their own, then left the bath house. Just outside, Vin was standing, playing on his harmonica. He hadn't been there when Chris had entered the bath house, and Chris wondered when he'd come, if he'd followed him. As far as he was concerned, Vin could follow him anywhere, anytime. He walked up to the younger man, and put his arm around his shoulders, his hand touching Vin's hair. He'd always thought about what it would be like to touch Vin's hair, had wondered if it would feel as soft as it looked. It did, and now he wondered what it would feel like to run his fingers through Vin's hair, to caress it while Vin pleasured him... "We need a new plan," he said quickly, then walked away, before his thoughts betrayed him again. He really shouldn't think about Vin that way.

He didn't go far, though. He really didn't want to leave Vin, he wanted to keep talking to him. Just be around him. Apparently Vin had the same idea, because when Chris stopped and turned around, Vin was right there. "You okay, Vin?" he asked.

"I'm fine," Vin said. "You?"

"I'm all right."

"Good." Vin looked down at the ground. Why had he come after Chris? He didn't really have anything that he wanted to talk about. Except the one thing that he'd wanted to talk to him about for too long now. Maybe this was as good a time as any, maybe it would turn out not to be, but he knew one thing: he was tired of the small talk he and Chris engaged in every time they talked. He knew they could get beyond that if one of them found the courage to take the first step. He felt that moment was now, if only he would dare.

Chris looked at Vin, saw that he suddenly seemed uncertain. He had no idea what to do about it, though. This was what mostly happened when they were alone. None of them seemed to know what to say to the other. "About this morning," Chris began. "I didn't mean to tell you about my visit to Wickes Town."

Vin slowly looked up at Chris. What was he saying really? It sounded like an excuse, but he hadn't done anything wrong. Of course, Vin thought he had, but he hadn't really. If Chris wanted to run around with whores, he was free to do so. Chris wasn't his. Yet. "With all that's been happenin' in town today, I think I would've heard something about it anyway, even if you hadn't told me."

"Yeah. But I didn't mean Wickes Town in general, I meant..." Chris stopped talking. What the hell did he mean, really? 'I'm sorry I slept with someone other than you.' Was that what he meant? It was, but how would that sound if he said it? A bit strange probably, considering both he and Vin had the right to sleep with anyone they pleased.

Vin gathered all the courage he had, and said, "I think I know what you mean, Chris."

Chris watched him intently. "You do?" he said. If Vin knew what he meant, then he knew... everything. Or more than he should, anyway.

"I think so." Vin was looking everywhere but at Chris. He'd started it now, there was no turning back. He really didn't want there to be, but he was still nervous like hell. "You said it could be better," he said.

Chris knew right away what Vin meant. Their conversation this morning had been the beginning of something, and now Vin was taking it further. "I meant it," he said.

"I think it could be too," Vin said, his heart beating so fast it almost hurt.

"You do?" Chris said.

"Yeah..."

Chris looked at Vin, then took a step closer, briefly touching his arm. "What exactly are you saying, Vin?"

Vin looked up. He had his chance now, and he decided to take it. "I want you, Chris, that's what I'm saying."

Chris's heart jumped. This beautiful young man told him that he wanted him. And he wanted Vin, so much. This was all he'd been thinking of the last few weeks, and now, here it was. And it scared the shit out of him. But he couldn't turn Vin down. Not now, when he'd said that he wanted him. He knew he should, to end this romance, or whatever it was, for good. But that would mean ending himself, and he couldn't. He just couldn't deny himself this. "I want you too, Vin. Have for a long time," he said.

Vin looked at him, his eyes starting to shine more for each second. "I suspected that," he said quietly. Was this really happening? Did Chris really say that he wanted him? The last couple of minutes here with Chris was more luck than he'd had in years, and it felt somewhat unbelievable.

"I suspected you did," Chris said, unable to stop the smile that was spreading all over his face. They stood silently for a long while just looking at each other from time to time. Was this what he'd been so afraid of? Chris couldn't believe it. This was the best he'd felt since his family died, and this wonderful man by his side had everything to do with it. No matter what happened, he'd always love him for giving him this moment of pure happiness. If they hadn't been standing in the middle of the town, with all these people around, Chris would have put his arms around Vin, and held him so hard that Vin would know he'd never let him go, in any way. Instead he said, joy still rushing through him, "We still need a new plan, though."

Vin looked at him, laughing a little. "I know. We'd better come up with one." This day was turning out to be really good, after all.

*

The next day, Vin walked into the saloon, his mind still filled with what had happened between him and Chris the day before. Those nice thoughts didn't last long, though. As soon as he'd asked for a gut warmer, he spotted Lydia in the saloon's mirror. He tried to pretend he hadn't seen her, but she'd seen him, and walked up to him right away.

"Don't worry. I'm not working," she said.

"That don't matter to me," Vin said. And it really didn't. If she wanted to make a living by spreading her legs for a few bucks, that was her choice. A lot of men took advantage of that, but he himself never had.

"We really appreciated your help this morning," Lydia said. "We agreed amongst ourselves we're gonna obey your rules while we're here."

Well, wasn't that nice. "Shouldn't you be laying low? Somebody could recognise you, and tell Wickes," Vin said, wanting her to leave.

"Your friend Larabee sent you here to say that?" Lydia asked.

"I look like a messenger boy?"

"Sorry," Lydia said, sounding a bit guilty. "Mr. Larabee ain't as friendly as he usually is."

Vin's mind darkened. So it was her that Chris had been with. He should've known. "Maybe he don't wanna get caught between you and the town," he said. Could she just go, and leave him alone, for heaven's sake. He didn't want to sit here next to her, knowing that she and Chris had been intimate, doing God knows what.

"You mean between me and Mrs. Travis?" Lydia said.

Vin looked away. Was there any woman he wouldn't have to fight with to have Chris for himself? Lydia, Mary, Sarah. Who else?

"I'm tired of making decisions depending on what other people want. I'm gonna go check on Nora."

With those words, Lydia left the saloon, and Vin was alone once more, just like he'd wanted to be all along. The only company he'd appreciate right now was Chris's, but where he was, he had no idea.

Vin went away for a while to go check on his horse, then went back to the saloon. It didn't take long before Lydia had come back to the saloon, too. They sat silently beside each other for a few minutes, and it was obvious for both of them that they had nothing to talk about. Vin knew that he wasn't very good at small talk, but he thought Lydia should be, considering her profession. Or maybe she didn't talk to her customers, maybe they just got things over and done with. What did he know about that world?

When Chris entered the saloon and joined them, he was relieved. For a short moment, anyway, before he began thinking about Chris and Lydia together. The jealousy that came over him was devastating, he'd never felt anything like it. The thought of someone else caressing Chris's naked body was just about what he could handle, and he couldn't stop himself from wondering how many times Lydia had been with Chris. She'd said he wasn't as friendly as he usually was. What did usually mean, exactly?

Vin's thoughts were stopped by Nora, who came running into the saloon, telling them that Mary had been kidnapped by Wickes. He and Chris walked outside, and he heard Chris telling Lydia that she couldn't come with them. Thank God, Vin thought. He didn't much appreciate her presence. He listened to Chris beginning to talk about them needing some distraction to go into Wickes Town, and when he spotted Ezra on the stairs, trying to teach some of the working girls to behave like ladies, he couldn't help but smile. And he knew exactly what their distraction would be.

*

Chris sat on his bed, feeling more nervous by the minute. He'd almost been shot in the back today, but that was the least of his concerns right now. Not only had he almost been shot, but it was Buck who'd saved him, so he supposed things weren't that bad between them, despite all that had been going on lately, and that knowledge comforted him. He really didn't want to lose Buck as a friend. But Buck wasn't the one who made him nervous right now. And things had gone well in Wickes Town, so it wasn't that, either. Mary had been hurt, and when he'd seen her tied to the bed, he'd realized that he cared more for her than he thought he did, but she was all right now too, so he could let go of that thought.

The thought he couldn't let go of, however, was Vin. When they'd come back to Four Corners, he'd asked Vin if he could come to his room later that night. Well, this was later, and Chris didn't feel so assertive any longer. When Vin finally came, what was he going to do, ask him if he wanted some tea? As soon as Chris had entered his room, and had begun to think about Vin coming there later, he'd wondered what he was supposed to do when he did come. The more he'd thought about it, the less he'd known. The less he'd known, the more he'd drunk. Maybe it hadn't been such a good idea to ask Vin over to his room. He wasn't ready, he really wasn't. And now he was drunk as hell, and he felt that he should just go find a working girl and prove to himself that he could still do it. It never occured to him that he and Vin didn't have to sleep with each other. He was so confused, so drunk, he could barely string all his thoughts together.

Minutes later, there was a knock at the door, and he stumbled towards it, opened it, and let Vin in. He didn't notice Vin looking at him weirdly. He was so used to being intoxicated, he didn't realise how it might look to other people. "Hey, Tanner," he said, his voice less than steady. "You showed up."

Vin looked at Chris, immediately noticing the state he was in. He was disappointed, but he'd known all along that Chris drank, and he guessed he really shouldn't be that surprised. "Hi, Chris," he said.

Chris went to get another shot glass. "You want some whiskey, don't you, Vin?" he asked.

Vin thought about it. He didn't really, but he decided to accept, anyway. If he only sipped at it, Chris wouldn't notice. "Why not," he said.

Chris gave him the glass, then sat down on his bed again. "I'm glad you came," he said.

"I'm glad too," Vin said. And he really was, but it still felt as if there was something wrong here. Chris was drunk, and he seemed absent, somehow. His body was there, but his mind seemed to be somewhere else. It's probably floating around somewhere in his head, together with all the whiskey he's been drinking, Vin thought, noticing the empty bottle on the nightstand. "I got a bit scared today," he said, thinking back to what had happened in Wickes Town. "Thank God Buck saw what was happening." Vin never thought he would be grateful to Buck for anything, but if Buck hadn't been there today, Chris would've been shot. He still couldn't believe that he himself hadn't seen what was coming.

"Things like that happen to me all the time," Chris said casually. The truth was that he'd been scared too. Not when it had happened, because he hadn't noticed, but afterwards, when he'd realised just how close it had been.

Vin looked at him, wondering why he felt he had to keep up that attitude with him. "Well, I'm glad for how it turned out, anyway," he said.

"I bet you are," Chris said, standing up on unsteady legs, slowly walking towards Vin. He stopped just in front of the younger man. "Or you wouldn't be getting a piece of this tonight, would you?" Chris took hold of Vin's hand, and put it on his jeans clad crotch. "I know you want me, Vin, you told me yesterday," he said, his drunkenness obvious in his speech.

Vin looked at him, stunned. What the hell was he up to? "I do want you, Chris," he said, otherwise lost for words.

Chris's fantasies about Vin popped up in his head, and he welcomed them. He couldn't handle anything deeper than that, and right now, that was just fine. "Then show me," he said, his mind filled with pictures of Vin getting down on his knees before him, taking him into his mouth.

Vin just stared at him. Had they really had the same conversation yesterday? They seemed to be speaking two different languages now. "Look, Chris. Why don't you just go to bed, and we'll talk more tomorrow, okay?"

"That what you came here to say?" Chris said.

"You know why I came here," Vin said, withdrawing his hand from Chris's grip, his crotch. He wasn't completely unaffected by the touch, but this was not what was supposed to happen. Chris was not supposed to be drunk like this, was not supposed to do this to him.

"Show me, then. Come on now, you know you wanna," Chris said, beginning to touch Vin everywhere.

Vin tried to push Chris's hands off of him, but it was really hard. Chris's touch felt so good, but he didn't want it to be like this. What the fuck did Chris think he was, some male version of a working girl, or something? If he let it happen, and found a few dollars beside him on the bed afterwards, he wouldn't be surprised, not the way Chris was carrying on. With a final effort, Vin pushed himself away from Chris. "I do want you, Chris," he said. "But I ain't one of your whores. They're not in love with you, I am." It took all Vin's willpower to walk away from Chris, towards the door. He put his hand on the door knob. "And I still will be tomorrow. If you feel you have something to say to me then, come find me." He opened the door, and left.

Chris stumbled to the door. Vin's words hit him right away. What had he done? What the hell had he done? In ten seconds, he felt completely sober, and his loss struck him the harder. 'I ain't one of your whores.' He knew that, of course he did, and he knew they weren't in love with him. And he wasn't in love with them, he was in love with Vin. He walked back to the bed, and sat down. He'd screwed up. He'd thrown himself over Vin like he really was one of them whores he'd been with from time to time. But Vin was no whore. Vin was the only one he truly cared about, and now he might have lost him. He knew he'd stay awake all night to try to come up with something to say to Vin, some excuse for this stupid evening. Anything to be forgiven. But for now, darkness had returned to his life, everything was back to normal. He was alone again.

*

End, part III. On to Part IV