Pairing: Chris Larabee/Vin Tanner
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: m/m sex and bad language
Spoilers: A few minor ones for some of the season 1 episodes
Author's notes: At the time of writing this story I had only seen season 1, so if anything in the story contradicts what happens in season 2, that would be the reason
Summary: Things change, people change...

*****

It was hot, way too hot to be out riding, but if you wanted to get from one place to the next there really wasn't much choice. At least not for the four men who were on their way to see some old friends in Four Corners. The sun unmercifully blazed down upon them, making their bodies bathe in sweat, a most unpleasant feeling, one they were all well used to by now but nevertheless hated. The desert landscape was in full view around them, but however beautiful it was none of the four men saw it. They were tired, hungry, sweaty and just plain sick of what they had to go through for wanting to visit their friends. There was still at least a day's ride left before they would even be near their destination, and no one even knew they were coming.

"Whose brilliant idea was this anyway, taking a trip, go visit old friends for old time's sake?" Ezra squinted at the sky, the sun momentarily blinding him. "I do wonder," he sighed, looking down again, keeping his eyes straight ahead. But his words contradicted his feelings; he might be a bit tired of the heat and the boredom of having been riding for so long right now, but he did think it was a brilliant idea. And he could clearly remember that the idea had been Buck's, and that he had been quick to go along with it.

Chris gave him an angry glare. "Sure wasn't mine," he said. "Four Corners is kind of a past chapter for me, which I keep trying to tell you boys."

"Why is that, really?" Ezra asked. He knew that when they had left Four Corners, no one had been as relieved as Chris, but he'd never been able to figure out why.

"Too many demands," Chris said in a tone that indicated it was all he'd say on the subject. He heard Vin laughing, and gave him an angry stare. "I said something funny, Tanner?"

"Yeah," the younger man said, but stopped laughing, or at least tried to. He really needed to learn how to keep from laughing when it wasn't appropriate. Chris's sense of humor was peculiarly absent most of the time, he ought to know that by now.

"What?"

"You know."

"No, Vin, I don't," Chris said. "Tell me. I could use a good laugh."

"Except you forgot how to do it," Vin said quietly.

"I what?" Chris demanded. "I forgot how to do what?"

Vin didn't say anything. Why the hell couldn't he just shut up when Chris was in this mood. After all these years with the man he should know better. "Forget it," he said.

Buck felt the tension growing, and looked around desperately for a distraction. In the distance he saw it, something blueish glittering. "Look, boys, over there, looks like a pond."

"And some trees too, we could stop and get some shade for us and the horses," Ezra said, glad about Buck's interference; another fight between Chris and Vin wasn't something he was looking forward to. Things were bad enough already. "And take a bath," he added. "God knows I need one."

Chris looked at Vin. "Ain't done with you, Tanner," he said menacingly.

And you never will be, Vin thought, but wisely opted for keeping quiet while hoping he was right.

They reached the pond and unsaddled their horses, letting them enjoy the rest fully. When the horses had been watered, they tied them to some trees, and began unstripping themselves. Soon they were all tumbling about in the water, relieved to get two days worth of dirt, dust and sweat off of their bodies. Chris washed himself, then handed Vin the soap without a word.

"Thanks, cowboy," Vin said.

"Only gave it to you so I wouldn't have to smell your stinking body all night," Chris sneered.

"Really?" Vin sneered back at him, beginning to wash his hair. "Ain't like you were smelling of wild flowers either, you know."

"Well, Tanner, if I smell so fucking bad, why don't you just leave?"

"Why don't *you* leave, Chris?"

Chris looked at him a long moment, not a word leaving his lips, then he walked away, the angry look replaced by that unreadable one he used much too often. Vin finished washing his hair, then got out of the water, taking a look around while letting the heat dry his body. When he returned to the others they had already begun setting up camp.

"We staying?" he asked.

Buck looked up at him. "It's just a couple of hours 'til dawn. Might as well stay here, in case we don't find anything better along the way. We should still be in Four Corners before dawn tomorrow."

"Great," Vin said, but without much enthusiasm. He put his pants back on, and sat down on a rock. Glancing at Chris, he caught his eye. Still angry.

"I'll cook something for us," Buck said. "The usual all right?"

"Do we have anything *but* the usual?" Chris asked, his irritation still in place.

"Hey, I'm just trying to be polite here, doing some small talk, all that shit," Buck said, not liking Chris's attitude. How and why did Vin put up with him?

Twenty minutes later they were eating their dinner in silence. Their usual dinner: biscuits, beans and black coffee. Chris had calmed down, but was sitting a bit away from the others.

"You know, Vin," Buck said quietly so that his oldest friend of the three wouldn't hear him. "Ezra and me, we've been doing some talking, and-"

"And," Ezra interrupted, deciding to help him out right away, knowing this wasn't easy for Buck, "we think we might stay a while in Four Corners once we arrive."

"You and Buck?" Vin said. "Ain't nothing going on between you that me and Chris should know about?" Vin said grinning. Ezra and Buck, wouldn't that just be something else.

Ezra raised his eyebrows. "I can assure you that Buck and I have no liaison of the kind you are implying, Mr Tanner. If we do, it's all in your head."

"Ain't nothing going on in my head between you two," Vin said, his tone darkening. Ezra was still so touchy about the subject that it was amazing he had stayed with he and Chris for so long.

Chris looked at his three friends, heard them whispering, glancing at him from time to time. He assumed they were discussing something he wasn't supposed to hear, and it didn't bother him much. Whatever it was, it was likely to reach him sooner or later.

"Anyway," Buck continued, "me and Ezra thought we could use some time off from..." Buck fell silent. How was he going to put it really? 'Me and Ezra can't stand being around the two of you anylonger' had such a negative ring to it-even if it was the truth-so he had to come up with something else. "We, er..." he looked pleadingly at his eloquent friend. "Ezra?"

"Let me put it like this, Mr Tanner," Ezra said, gladly helping Buck out again. "Buck and I feel that maybe you and Mr Larabee need some, ah, should I say private time, maybe? Some time to work out whatever you need to work out."

Buck looked gratefully at Ezra. That was such a good way he had put it there, getting the message across while still, hopefully, making it seem like they were only doing it for Vin and Chris's best. "That's right," he said.

"Me and Chris ain't got nothing needs working out," Vin said sulkily. "Don't know what you're talking about."

Ezra studied Vin for a long moment. When Vin said that he and Chris didn't have things that needed to be worked out, he probably was telling the truth, the truth as he saw it. He took his eyes off of Vin for a second, looking instead at Chris, feeling his anger surge. He knew maybe he wasn't being fair, but he sometimes felt that Chris had corrupted the younger man, leading him into a life that was so far from what a man like Tanner could and deserved to have. He hadn't known Vin longer than Chris had, but he couldn't imagine this was the kind of life Vin had been dreaming about as a young man, before meeting Chris. But Vin was a grown man, and whatever decisions he made for himself, Ezra knew he had to respect them. He himself was very much looking forward to not having to deal with Chris anymore, but he did know-even if he sometimes preferred not to acknowledge it-that that was not at all how Vin felt.

"Anyone wants some more coffee?" Buck asked, getting two negative responses. Chris was still keeping to himself, and Buck wasn't in the mood to go and ask him.

"Chris probably wants some," Vin said.

"Well, then he can come and get it himself," Buck said.

Vin held out his mug. "Just fill up the damn thing," he said.

Ezra looked at Vin, shaking his head in disbelief. He caught Buck's eyes and saw his feelings mirrored. It would be quite nice to be rid of Vin's presence too.

"Thank you," Vin said once Buck had refilled his mug with coffee, then he walked over to Chris handing him the mug. Chris grunted. "You're welcome," Vin said and went back to Ezra and Buck.

The three of them talked for a couple of hours, dawn slowly closing in around them, the early night chill a welcome change from the day's maddening heat. They-with the exception of Chris, maybe-were all excited about seeing their old friends; Josiah, who had decided to stay and take care of his church and its growing number of attendants; JD, who had settled down with Casey; and Nathan, who had settled down with Rain, not in Four Corners, but nearby, close enough that they could go visit them too. Just one more day, then refreshing new company would be within reach.

Buck got up, stretching his body. "Why don't I take first watch," he said. "It's getting darker, might as well go to sleep, that way we can get up early tomorrow and make it to Four Corners before dawn, like we planned."

"Good idea," Ezra agreed. He got up and went to fetch his saddlebag, then settled in for the night.

Vin walked to the rock Chris was still sitting on. "We're going to sleep," he said. "Buck's taking first watch."

"That's interesting."

Vin sighed. "Wasn't meant to be interesting."

"Why say it then? If it ain't interesting, why say it?"

"You're a fucking bastard, Chris."

"A bastard you keep staying with," Chris said, looking at Vin. "So what does that say about you?"

"It says maybe I should do what Ezra and Buck are planning to do," Vin said.

Chris watched him suspiciously. "Which is?"

"None of your business," Vin said, walking away from Chris. He went to his saddlebag and got the bedroll and the blanket, then found a spot where he lay down. After a few minutes, he heard Chris settling in beside him. "You might wanna go find your own place, cowboy."

"And you might wanna shut up," Chris said, placing his bedroll right beside Vin's. He covered himself with his blanket, then laid his arm across Vin's chest, his head on his shoulder, breathing in the clean scent of Vin's hair. "So, what are Ezra and Buck up to?"

"Ask them yourself," Vin said.

"Might as well ask you, since you apparently know."

"Don't matter," Vin said.

"Why'd you bring it up then?"

"Don't know. Go to sleep will you, or at least be quiet. I need to sleep."

"They tried talking you into something?" Chris asked, ignoring Vin's request.

To anyone else, it would just have been an ordinary question, but Vin heard that small desperate note in Chris's voice, the one he only heard when Chris thought he, or both of them might die in a shootout, or when he thought Vin might be thinking of leaving him. "No, and they couldn't if they tried," he said. He felt Chris's arm tighten, felt him snuggling closer. He kissed the top of Chris's head, let his lips linger on his soft hair. "Go to sleep, Chris," he said, his hand reaching up to caress Chris's arm softly, knowing the older man fell asleep easier when he did that. He lay listening to the sounds of the desert night until he heard the soft snoring that told him Chris was sleeping, then he closed his eyes, following him.

***

Buck slowly woke up and opened his eyes, the sun today as ruthless as it had been the day before. Just another day's ride, then Four Corners and its bath house awaited him. He could handle that. He stretched, working out the kinks in his muscles, his body aching from having slept with only a thin bedroll between himself and the hard ground. Four Corners, a bath house and a bed, he could hardly wait until he had it all. Maybe a girl too, there should still be some of his lady acquaintances left in the town he had called home for a few years before leaving with the three who were his company today. It should all end well, he thought, a smile spreading across his face.

He walked around the camp checking things. Everything was calm, their things were still there and so were their horses. His smile widened. Just one more day. He looked towards the pond, seeing Ezra there, lathering himself with soap. He decided to join him; the pond was no bath house, but it was water. Both he and Ezra felt a need to keep as clean as was possible, even if they were out for days riding. Buck didn't want to risk running into a sweet woman smelling bad, and Ezra needed to play the part of the gentleman gambler, and couldn't very well walk into a saloon smelling of sweat and dirt, that would kind of ruin his image. Their two friends, however, had never seemed to be overly interested in keeping themselves fresh smelling, a few baths a week seemed enough for them. Buck snorted. He'd visit a bath house twice a day if he could.

And now that Chris and Vin had entered his mind, it was inevitable that he began wondering where they were. Before heading towards the pond, he took a quick look around, but didn't see anything. He stood silently for a moment, and then he heard it; soft moans, some of them muffled. No, Buck thought, anything but that. If Chris or Vin had become ill during the night their trip would be delayed, and they, he and Ezra, would have to spend even more time with them. Buck's smile began slowly fading, and he walked closer to where the sounds came from. What little smile he had left disappeared quicker than fast when he saw the activities two of his friends were engaged in behind a bunch of trees.

"Could you take that somewhere else?" he said, his anger rising. Here he'd been thinking someone was feeling sick, and in fact-that was obvious now-no one was feeling sick at all. Before his eyes Chris stood leaning against a tree, his hands entangled in Vin's long hair, Vin on his knees sucking his lover hard.

Chris gave Buck a quick look, then returned his attention to Vin, his hands keeping the younger man in place. "We *are* somewhere else. *You* are intruding on us here, Buck," he said, his voice in no way betraying any feeling of embarrassment despite the situation. "And you can stand there staring as long as you want," he said inbetween panting and moaning, "I ain't inviting you to join us."

Buck had no desire to join the two, but he kept staring nonetheless. Chris seemed to be slowly entering that state of mind where not much mattered except release. Buck had been there a few times himself, having had quite a number of ladies kneeling in front of him, doing to him what Vin was now doing to Chris. He watched Vin's mouth working its magic-Buck assumed it was magic, anyway, judging from the look on Chris's face-on the hard shaft, one of his hands kneading the older man's balls. He didn't even seem to have noticed him at all, or he didn't care. Buck sighed loudly, which was pretty useless since no one heard him, anyway. They used to be so discreet, now they just sneaked behind a few bushes and called it privacy.

He walked away, leaving the two alone. When he reached the pond, Ezra had already gotten out of the water and was getting dressed.

"I hope that isn't something you will attempt to offer me?" Ezra said, chuckling.

Buck gave him a funny look. "What?" He saw Ezra waving his hand in the direction of his precious parts. He looked down. "Oh," he said, futilely trying to cover his rather impressive erection with his hands. "No, not for you," he added, quickly getting into the water, shielding his body from Ezra's eyes. They'd all seen each other naked numerous times before, but they tried not to walk around in the nude with erections. It was all about respect, something Buck felt Chris and Vin were beginning to forget all about. "Don't worry, Ezra, I'll discreetly take care of it."

Ezra laughed. "I take it you saw the show behind the trees?"

The freak show, yes I saw it, Buck thought. "Yeah," he grumbled, not happy that not only had he seen it, he'd been affected by it.

As if reading his mind, Ezra said, "Don't think too much about it, Buck, it's just a reaction, doesn't mean you want it yourself."

"Thanks, Ezra," he said, feeling a bit stupid.

But Ezra's reassurance meant a lot to him. Ezra was smart, intelligent even, and when he spoke, Buck listened. Even if it only concerned his erection brought on by something that really shouldn't have brought it on. The picture of Vin before Chris-sucking, his eyes closed, looking almost blissful-wouldn't leave his mind, though. Unless he was with one of the ladies who knew and liked him, he had to pay them extra if he wanted them to look like they were actually enjoying it. And he was a gentleman, for God's sake, always treated the ladies well. Chris was no gentleman, and as for the way he sometimes treated Vin, well, his behavior was often questionable. In all fairness though, Vin was just the same to Chris at times, and Buck figured that in the end they were just perfect for each other. He quickly took care of his hardness, leaving the traces of his release in the pond. He left the water, not even bothering to use soap to clean himself. He'd forgotten to bring it with him in the rush, anyway. He dried himself, then got dressed.

"Not quite the same as a hot mouth, is it?" Ezra asked, smiling at Buck.

"Not quite, no," Buck grumbled. "Can't wait to get to Four Corners and get the real thing."

"I hear what you're saying, Mr Wilmington, and I fully agree. Although, if Mary is anything like her old self, there will be few, if any working girls to be found there."

"Last I heard, which was of course a while back, was that she's a widow again, and has moved with Billy to a small house outside of town. Apparently she was so grief-stricken, she'd stopped butting into other people's business."

"Now, that does not sound like our Mary," Ezra said. "I'm sorry to hear about her widowed status, though. I was happy for her when she remarried."

"We all were," Buck said. "Especially Chris," he added, laughing.

"Does Chris know she's a widow now?"

"Yeah, I told him," Buck said. "Why do you think he's so reluctant to go back there?"

"I did wonder about that," Ezra said. "He probably thinks she's gonna go after him again. Don't know why he's coming with us at all then, it's not like he has to."

"He knows Vin wants to see the boys," Buck said. "And it's not like Chris and Vin ever leave each other out of sight for long, is it?" His voice had a slightly annoyed tone to it now.

"You can say that again," Ezra said, shaking his head. He'd never met two people who needed each other as badly as Tanner and Larabee, and who acted like they didn't at all, like any of them could leave any second and it wouldn't matter.

"Well, we're almost there now, anyway, and then you and I can just go ahead with our plan."

"I feel almost mean," Ezra said. "We've spent a few years together, you know."

Buck looked at him, nodding. "Yeah, and me and Chris had a history even before that." The thought of not seeing Chris, or Vin, for a while, was actually making him quite sad, but he knew it was for the best. If they went on like this, they'd come to the point where they'd never want to see each other again, ever. It was better this way. And he and Ezra got along fine, always had done. They'd be all right on their own.

"It's probably just temporarily," Ezra said, as if echoing his thoughts. "We're likely to hook up with each other again, we always seem to do." He looked up. "We've got company."

Chris and Vin walked by them, Chris grabbing a soap on the way, grinning at Buck. Then he stopped, turning around to look at him. "Bet you wish that was you," he said.

Anger flared in Buck. What the hell was Chris up to now? "You implying something, Chris?" he said, trying to control his temper. He might have been wishing for a soft, willing mouth instead of his own hand, but that did *not* mean that it was Vin's mouth he'd had in mind.

"Saw the way you looked," Chris said, grinning wider.

Well, at least he's in a good mood today, Buck thought. "I was disgusted," Buck said, half lying, half truthful. He'd never really gotten used to Chris and his choice of life partner, but he'd accepted it. That didn't mean he wanted to see them in intimate situations, that was too much even for a man like him who'd seen a lot in his life.

"Sure you were, Buck. Imagine how disgusted you'd been if you'd stayed and watched Vin swallow every single drop I shot down his throat," Chris said, his tone a bit too casual considering what he was actually saying.

Buck watched him incredulously, then turned his eyes towards Vin. Vin looked back at him, simply nodding as if to say 'Mmm hmm, that's exactly what I did, Buck. Maybe you want to come by and watch the next time I do it?' Buck turned around, looking at Ezra, who seemed stunned for once. "Did he say what I thought I heard him say?" Buck said, not needing the affirmation, because he knew exactly what he'd heard. He just needed to say something, anything, bring the conversation back to normal.

Ezra nodded slowly. "Er..." he said, finding himself lost for anything else to say, a situation he so rarely found himself in that when it did happen he almost felt like a different person. Ezra Standish didn't deliver sounds or one word answers, he delivered speeches. But then, Ezra Standish so very seldom-never before actually-heard men speaking about shooting their sperm down other men's throats.

"I thought so," Buck said. He looked at Vin once more. He noticed the silent man still had that close to blissful look on his face. Buck assumed that he'd gotten his after he had left them, or that this was how Vin looked after having pleasured Chris. Maybe he came from just doing that, or maybe Chris had gotten down on his knees before Vin, sucking him just like Vin had sucked Chris. Buck briefly wondered if Chris swallowed too, then he angrily shook those thoughts away. Damn Chris for having become the man he was today, and damn Vin for helping him along. The married family man Buck had once known was nowhere to be found these days. Still, Chris's anger aside, he did seem happy in his own way. Whatever that meant... "Look, Chris, why don't we end the conversation right now before it gets out of hand," he said, getting an approving look from Ezra. There wasn't that much time before they'd reach Four Corners, and they should all be able to be civilized around each other until then. Even Chris.

"Sure, Buck," Chris said. "Just don't look at Vin the way you did anymore," he added, looking serious.

Buck glared at him, uncertain whether he was joking or not. "I didn't-" He felt a hand on his shoulder, Ezra's hand. He got the message. "I won't look at Vin that way again, Chris. I promise." The last was said in a voice so dripping with poison it would've been lethal had it been real.

"Well done, Buck," Ezra said, watching the two naked men get into the pond, beginning to wash themselves. Wash each other.

"Don't think it didn't take all I had," Buck said. He began packing his things, then saddled his horse.

Ezra did the same, then he and Buck waited for Chris and Vin to get back, to pack and get ready to leave. A while back, Ezra and Buck might have helped them with it, but not anymore. Things changed. Ezra watched his two partners get dressed, Chris in black jeans and a black shirt, Vin in beige pants and a dark red shirt; some things didn't change. And truth be told, he and Buck didn't dress much differently now from what they'd done a few years back either. He waited a couple of minutes, then when he figured Chris and Vin were almost ready, he mounted his horse.

"You boys coming anytime today?" Buck said, getting up on his own horse. Chris and Vin were dressed now, and their horses were saddled, but now the couple were engaged in a passionate kiss, when they really should just be getting up on their horses and go. Buck shook his head, looking at Ezra. He sometimes wondered which was more annoying; when Chris and Vin were fighting, or when they were not.

***

"Anyone wanna stop to eat some?" Ezra asked after they'd been riding for a few hours.

"I think we're just an hour or so away from a small town," Buck said. "Last time I was there it had a saloon which served pretty good food. Maybe we can go there?"

Ezra-who was seriously tired of beans and biscuits-nodded. "Good idea, Buck," he said. He looked at Chris and Vin. They rode so close to each other it was amazing it didn't upset their horses. "Mr Larabee, Mr Tanner. Any thoughts on Mr Wilmington's suggestion?" he drawled. He doubted they would have, they both looked pretty distant.

Vin looked up at him, though, a serene smile spreading across his face. "You said something, Ezra?"

"Are Buck and I riding a few miles away from you?" he said, annoyance clear in his voice. It was really a small wonder that Chris and Vin kept themselves alive these days, considering how distracted they sometimes were. "Yes, I said something, and before that, Buck did. Are you boys hungry?"

"Are we hungry, Chris?" Vin asked his partner, seemingly not having noticed Ezra's annoyance.

"Yeah," Chris said, the one word delivered with obvious reluctance, as if it was a major effort on his part to have to answer mundane questions like that.

Ezra didn't fail to notice. "Maybe we should stop right away for a while, get some rest. Chris must be exhausted after having paid so much attention for the last few hours," he said, his voice dry with sarcasm.

Vin stared at him, but didn't say anything. After a couple of days, maybe less, in Four Corners, they would go their separate ways, and it wouldn't matter then. Too bad it had to end like this between them, though. They had all been so close once, all seven of them. He looked to his left, his features softening. He reached for Chris's hand, held it in his own.

Chris squeezed Vin's hand, and looked past him at Ezra. "I don't need to rest, Ezra, but thanks for your concern," he said, sounding derisive. Ezra-not to mention Buck-were getting tiresome. He looked at Vin, his lover's blue eyes meeting his own green. He smiled, forgetting all about Ezra. "We could stop to do something else, though," he said, addressing Vin, and Vin only.

But Buck heard him. "We are *not* stopping so that the two of you can...can..." He stopped, not really wanting to say the words.

Ezra was becoming confounded by now, too. "And if you do stop, Buck and I will keep riding, and you two can catch up with us in Four Corners."

Chris reluctantly teared his eyes away from Vin's face, looking at Ezra. "What?" he said.

Ezra watched him in disbelief. "Do you ever listen to what anyone says anymore, Chris?"

"It happens," Chris said. And it did. He listened to what Vin had to say. Most of the time, anyway. "What's with the aggression, Ezra, the sun affecting your brain or something? Maybe you need a new hat?"

"Maybe I need new company," Ezra growled.

"Well, you'll be getting it soon enough, won't you, Ezra," Vin said, angry at Ezra for arguing with Chris over things that were of no importance. "Traitor," he added. He didn't care that Chris wasn't supposed to know before they got to Four Corners that Ezra and Buck didn't want to ride with them anymore. He looked at Chris, who looked back at him inquiringly. "They won't be leaving Four Corners when we do," he said. It wasn't like he'd made a promise to keep quiet about it.

Chris let go of Vin's hand, and watched Ezra and Buck in silence before saying, "You tired of me and Vin?"

"They want to leave us alone because they think we have issues need working on," Vin said before the others had time to even open their mouths.

"Issues," Chris said thoughtfully. "Do we have issues, Tanner? We need to work on something?"

"Ain't nothing between us ain't right," Vin said, after thinking it over for a moment.

Ezra and Buck looked at each other, shaking their heads in unison.

"Do you guys ever look at yourselves?" Ezra said.

"I think we have a preference for looking at each other instead of ourselves," Chris said. "Although I realise you and Buck have to settle for looking at yourselves, what with the lack of ladies available and all." He grinned, taking hold of Vin's hand again, hearing his soft laughter.

"Whatever," Buck said, deciding to ignore the comment.

"Yes, whatever," Ezra said, sighing. "Why don't we just keep riding until we get to that town Buck mentioned, then we'll head for Four Corners, all right?"

"Fine," Chris said. "You okay with that, Vin?"

"Yeah."

A little over an hour later, they arrived in a town that was so small and insignificant it barely existed. It wasn't much of a town at all, and it didn't even have a sign that said its name, but it did have a saloon where they could get something to eat and drink. They took care of their horses first, then went inside the saloon. It was almost empty, just the barkeep and two other men were there. They all looked up at the four newcomers. The two men seemed to quickly decide that they were not of interest to them, but the barkeep came up to them right away.

"You still serve some decent food here?" Buck asked.

"I could cook something for you," the barkeep said. "But I'm afraid it will only be just decent. Most people stop by here to drink, not eat, you see."

"Well, whatever you have we'll take it," Buck said, giving the man what was supposed to be a smile. He was still annoyed with Chris and Vin, but knew it wouldn't be fair taking it out on the barkeep.

They sat down at a table, and stayed silent while waiting for the food, while eating and while paying. They really didn't have much to talk about anylonger.

***

"Almost there now," Buck said. It was a rather unnecessary comment, considering they were all familiar with Four Corners and its surroundings for miles.

"Feels like coming home," Ezra said, and it shook him that it did feel like coming home. He looked at Buck. "Or what do you think?"

"It feels pretty good. Like I could stay here for a while," he said.

"What do you think, gentlemen?" Ezra asked, looking at Chris and Vin.

Chris just grunted something unintelligible. Ezra thought he bore his suffering-or whatever it was-pretty badly. What was the worst thing that could happen? That Mary flirted with him, again, and that he had to turn her down, again?

"Looking forward to seeing the others," Vin said, smiling.

"Let's just hope they're still around here," Ezra said.

When they were in the outskirts of the town, the feeling that had arisen in Ezra earlier became stronger. Four Corners had been his home for a long time, and it felt better to be back than he'd ever expected. He couldn't stop the smile spreading across his face.

They rode into town, each with their own thoughts, and their own memories. Not much had changed, at least it didn't look like it at first. They rode around town, checking to see if it was still as peaceful as when they had left it. It seemed to be. Everything that had been there a couple of years back was still there, but there was a second boarding house now, and a grocery store they didn't recognise.

"Everything seems to be intact," Buck said, looking around the almost empty street. It was late and most people were probably in bed already.

"Yeah, including the Clarion News Office," Chris grumbled, not even trying to hide his disapproval of being back in Four Corners. "Why don't we just go check the boarding house and see if we can get rooms?"

"There were two," Buck pointed out.

"What?" Chris asked.

"There is another boarding house now, apart from the old one. Which should we go to?"

"Well, I don't know about you, but me and Vin are going to the old one first."

"The new one is right there, though," Vin said, pointing towards the white painted building in front of them.

"I want to see if I can get my old room."

"What does it matter?" Buck asked.

"That's where me and Vin fucked the first time," Chris said flatly.

Why did I even bother to ask, Buck thought. "So you want to relive old memories, is that it?"

Chris shrugged. "Sort of."

Ezra looked at Chris, then at Vin, noticing the younger man's now almost shy smile. The effect Chris still had on Vin was amazing. "I didn't know you had such a romantic soul, Chris," he said.

Chris looked away without saying anything. If there was a part of him that was romantic-which he reluctantly had to admit there was, on occasion, anyway-he didn't intend to put it on display for everyone to see. "If you and Buck wanna check out this place, go ahead. Me and Vin are going to the old place first. If it's full, we'll come back here."

"All right," Buck said. "If you're not here in a while, we'll just assume there was a room available at the other place."

"Should we meet around breakfast tomorrow, in the saloon?" Ezra asked.

"Yeah," Chris said, already turning his horse around.

"See you tomorrow, boys," Vin said, following Chris.

Chris's old room was available, and after leaving their horses in the livery, they went inside. It looked pretty much the same as it had when Chris had lived there. A bed, a bedside table, a chest of drawers, an oil lamp.

Vin looked out the window, then suddenly felt Chris's arms around his waist, his lips nibbling on his neck. "Brings back old memories, don't it?" Vin said.

"Hmm," Chris mumbled, busying his mouth with other things than talking. He steered Vin to the bed, making him sit down. He began working on getting Vin's pants off, Vin helping him out by raising his butt and unbuttoning his shirt. Soon Vin was naked, Chris sitting on the floor between his legs, reaching up to stroke his nipples. He worked his way down, fondling the hardness before taking it in his mouth, sucking slowly at first, gradually increasing the speed.

Vin came with a scream, his hand entangled in Chris's hair. After a while, he moved back to lie down on the bed, watching Chris undress. When the older man was naked, Vin spread his legs, making room for Chris. A finger coated with saddle oil entered him slowly, moving in and out before withdrawing.

"Sit up," Chris said hoarsely.

Vin looked at him. "What?" he said, frowning. He'd been enjoying that finger, had expected another to join it, but he did what Chris said.

"Suck me," Chris said.

Vin bent forward, sucking the tip of Chris's cock, then looked up again. "This is not what I had in mind, you know," he said, then bent forward again, licking up and down the shaft.

"Don't worry, Vin," Chris said, his voice unsteady, "I'm still gonna fuck you." He moaned loudly when he felt Vin taking almost all of him into his mouth. "Ain't like you're not enjoying this," he added, watching Vin suck his cock, feeling his tongue work steadily. He took hold of Vin's hair, made him stop.

Vin lay back down again, once more spreading his legs, feeling two slick fingers entering him.

"Turn around," Chris said, withdrawing his fingers, smiling wickedly at the disappointment he saw in Vin's eyes. "Do it, Vin, or I'll do it for you," he growled. He was hard enough to burst, and he wasn't about to wait just because Vin had this thing about kissing while they did it. When his younger partner was on his hands and knees he entered him, then stayed still for a few seconds before slowly beginning to push in and out.

"You're such a shit, Chris," Vin managed to say inbetween all the moaning sounds he was making.

"Yeah?" Chris fucked Vin harder and faster, then slowed down again. "Maybe you want me to stop?" he said, almost pulling out.

"As if you could now." Vin snorted. Then he pushed back, impaling himself fully on Chris's cock, taking hold of his own, stroking it.

Chris growled, grabbing a fistful of Vin's hair, beginning to fuck him hard. He heard Vin screaming-with pleasure, he assumed, but didn't think more of it-and he let go of Vin's hair, instead grabbing the narrow hips, ramming his cock in and out of Vin's ass.

Vin fell down onto his elbows, his whole being concentrating on what Chris was doing to him. He felt the hands on his hips holding him firmly in place, and willingly surrendered. He resumed stroking his own cock, and came, screaming his lover's name.

Chris heard Vin moaning and panting, saw how the movements of his arm became faster before the younger man exploded, screaming his name. He came himself soon after, shooting his seed into Vin, a guttural cry filling the room. All his power left him, and he slumped over the younger man's back, bringing him down with his weight. He lay on top of Vin's back, still inside him, panting heavily. He kissed Vin's neck, caressed the sweaty hair.

"I love your hair," he said, making a few lazy movements with his hips, hearing Vin moan.

"I've noticed," Vin said, Chris on top of him making it hard to speak.

"Comes in handy sometimes," Chris said in a teasing tone. More than once, Vin had threatened to cut his hair off, saying how much he hated the way Chris grabbed it every time he took him from behind, but so far he hadn't.

"Bastard," Vin said, his tone a mix of anger and affection.

Chris rolled off of Vin, his cock slipping out of him. He rolled Vin onto his back, lying on top of him. He caressed the face gently with his thumbs, then kissed him, Vin eagerly kissing him back. After just a short while, Chris rolled off of Vin once again, and lay down beside him.

"That all?" Vin asked, disappointed.

"Don't know about you, Tanner, but I'm really tired," Chris said.

Vin sighed. "I just love it when you call me Tanner in bed," he said, his irritation obvious.

"Hey, I like that name," Chris said, turning to his side, putting his arm across Vin's chest. "Goodnight," he said, declaring end of discussion.

Fucking bastard, Vin thought, laying his head on Chris's shoulder, closing his eyes. "Goodnight."

***

Ezra looked up, seeing Chris and Vin enter the saloon. "Good morning, partners," he said.

"Good morning, Ezra," Vin said. "You seem to be in a good mood today." He sat down beside the gambler.

"Well, Mr Tanner, I certainly can't deny that I am. It's a beautiful day and I've just taken a refreshing bath. Why shouldn't I be in a good mood?"

"Because we're in Four Corners maybe?" Chris said, sitting down beside Vin.

"Will you *please* get over it, Chris," Ezra said. "It's not that bad here, we did make some friends, remember?"

"I guess," Chris said, his voice completely devoid of enthusiasm.

"Besides, this is where you met the love of your life," Ezra said.

Chris looked at him questioningly. "My what?"

"The love of your life," Ezra repeated. He looked at Vin, saw him shaking his head slowly. "You met Vin here," he clarified.

"Oh," Chris said. "Right." He looked around the saloon. "Where's Buck?"

"He's still in the bath house. I don't think he'll leave until the water is ice cold. He thought I was crazy to leave after just fifteen minutes."

"Well," Vin said, "how long does it take to get clean? One minute?"

Ezra smiled. Vin had so much to learn about the finer things in life. Of course, as long as he stayed with Chris, that would never happen. "About one minute, I guess," he said.

"I think I might visit the bath house myself later," Chris said.

"Me too," Vin said. "Need to get my clothes washed too."

Chris sniffed. "Good idea. There's a smell in here, and I do believe it's coming from you."

"Shut up, Chris," Vin said, tired of Chris's tendency to comment on the way he smelled. The older man seemed completely oblivious to the fact that he and his clothes smelled just as bad sometimes. "And if I do smell, I think we both know why," he added.

"Gentlemen, please," Ezra said, interrupting the argument before it could go further. He lowered his voice. "Remember that Buck and I are the only ones who know about the two of you. How about keeping it that way?"

Chris looked at him. "Fine. Have you had breakfast already, Ezra?"

"No, just some coffee. I was waiting for Buck to join me. And you two, of course," he added quickly, realising as he said it that he didn't really mind their company now. It was probably because he knew that soon they would go their separate ways, and the time they spent in Four Corners would probably be their last together for quite some time.

"I guess we can wait for him too," Chris said. "Coffee, Vin?"

"Yeah."

Chris went to get them a cup of coffee each, then sat down at the table again. He looked at Vin, noticed that he was slumping in his chair even more than he normally did. "You all right, Vin?"

Vin looked up at Chris, nodding. He sipped at his coffee, swallowing the strong, hot liquid carefully.

Chris didn't believe that he was all right, but knowing what caused the younger man's discomfort, this was probably not the right place to inquire more about it. "Where the hell is Buck? I'm getting hungry here." He drank his coffee, glancing at Vin from time to time.

A couple of minutes later, Buck came into the saloon. He sat down at the table looking absolutely thrilled, to Ezra's amusement. Was it possible that Buck had not only bathed, but had managed to find himself a girl as well, already?

"Do you perchance have any new information you would like to share with us, Buck?" Ezra asked.

"I sure do," Buck said, practically glowing. "Guess who I ran into? Mary, Mary Travis."

"In the bath house?" Vin asked. He was pretty sure Mary had her own tub wherever she lived these days.

"No, out on the street. I almost couldn't stop her from coming here with me, once she knew you all might be here."

"What would it have mattered if she'd come with you?" Vin asked.

"Well, I didn't know if you and Chris would be representative, did I? It's not like me and Ezra saw you in the bath house."

"Why does it matter to her how Chris looks?" Vin asked, becoming annoyed. If that woman was going to start running after Chris again, he didn't know what he'd do.

Buck sighed. "Well, Vin," he said. "You know how Mary always wanted Chris?" Vin nodded. "And then she got married, right?" Vin nodded again. "And now, she's a widow again. She's free, if you know what I mean."

"Chris ain't," Vin said, pulling his chair closer to Chris's.

"But she doesn't know that," Buck said, almost triumphantly. He couldn't deny that it would be fun to watch how Mary would try to get Chris's attention this time. "And," he added, "she invited us all out to her house this evening. I accepted the invitation, of course."

"Of course," Ezra said, smiling.

"What about JD, Nathan and Josiah, then?" Vin said. "You might have come here for Mary, but I came here 'cause I wanted to see them."

"I told her we'd come here to see them, and she said she'd invite them too. Apparently they see each other quite often," Buck said.

"I suppose we'll *have* to visit the bath house then, Vin," Chris said.

"Yeah, but I ain't doing it for her."

Buck sighed impatiently. "Well, whoever you do it for, just make sure you do it before you come to her house tonight."

"If it is at all possible, gentlemen, I say we order us something to eat now," Ezra said, always willing to break the tension, whenever it appeared.

After drinking more coffee and eating a large breakfast, they left the saloon, strolling down the main street. Some people-too many for Chris's liking-recognised them and said hello. They returned the greetings, especially Buck who still wanted to know if any of "his" old girls were still in town. He figured that if any of the people they met were relatives or friends of any of them, there was a good chance that they might still be in or around Four Corners somewhere.

When Ezra stopped to talk to an old acquaintance of his, the other three kept walking. They walked past the hardware store, seeing a few customers inside. Chris stopped.

"I need some ammunition," he said. "I might as well stop here now, and see if I can get some. I'll catch up with you later."

"Will you get some for me too?" Vin said.

"Sure," Chris said, then walked back towards the store.

"You know, Vin," Buck said while he and Vin kept walking down the street. "I'd bet my last money that Mary still wants Chris."

"I don't think Chris wants her," Vin said.

"I wouldn't be so sure," Buck said. "He's had his fun with you, he might wanna move on to something else now."

"I don't see why it matters to you if Chris is with me," Vin said, not liking the turn of the conversation. Buck had always had a way of getting to him and make him lose his temper, but he decided he wouldn't let that happen today. He would try not to let it happen today.

They walked slowly in silence for a few minutes, before Buck began talking again.

"Billy must be almost a teenager by now," he said.

"That's good for him," Vin said.

"Still young enough to be in need of a male role model," Buck said.

"Why don't you stay with Mary then?"

"You know, Vin, that ain't a bad idea. However, it ain't me that Mary wants. She wants Chris."

Vin looked at Buck. "She did once, she might not want him anymore."

"Sure she does."

"Ain't nothing Chris wants that she can give him," Vin said assertively.

"What does Chris want then?" Buck asked. "What can a man possibly want that a woman can't give him?"

"A man wants his cock sucked on a regular basis," Vin said flatly. "Chris does, anyway. You think Mary would give him that?"

Buck's eyes narrowed. "Now, that's not a proper thing to say, Tanner."

"You asked," Vin said. "What, you mean you don't want that from the women you're with?"

Buck stopped, putting his hands on his hips. "We're not talking about them now, we're talking about Mary."

"Mary's a woman," Vin pointed out. "Do you think she'd suck Chris? Can you see her getting down on her knees in front of Chris, sucking him hard?" Vin looked at Buck, grinning. "You know, the way you saw me do?"

"You really should stop talking about Mary that way," Buck said, getting exasperated. "What the hell happened to you, anyway? You used to be a nice and decent man."

"Still am," Vin said.

"A decent man would never talk about a woman like that."

"Ain't like I'm saying it *to* her," Vin said. "I'd never do that. Besides, you started it. I'm just saying I reckon Mary couldn't handle being with Chris."

"Just because she wouldn't suck his cock?" Buck looked contemptuously at Vin. "And you know, maybe she would."

"Maybe," Vin agreed, "but I'm pretty sure she wouldn't swallow. Chris likes that."

That was it for Buck. He'd heard about all he could take. He grabbed hold of Vin's shoulders, slamming him into the building they'd been standing in front of. "Mary is a lady, Vin, a lady, and you damn well better not talk about her like that," he said, his grip on the other man's shoulders fierce.

Vin tried to push him away, but Buck was a strong man. If he could have shot him he wouldn't have a problem, but he couldn't. "Let me go," he said, and was just about to start kicking Buck's legs when the man was forcefully removed from him.

"What the fuck you think you're doing, Buck?" Chris said, slamming him into the wall.

"Your partner was saying some very nasty things about a woman we all know," Buck said angrily by way of explaining. "Now, get your hands off me."

Chris glared at him, then let him go. "I see you messing with Vin one more time, I'm gonna hurt you real bad, you got that? And you know I can." He looked at Vin, saw that he was a bit shaken. "You okay, Vin? Did he hurt you?"

Vin shook his head no. "I'm okay, Chris. Don't worry."

"Were you two talking about Mary?" Chris asked. He assumed she was the woman Buck had referred to.

"Yeah," Vin admitted. He knew he'd crossed the line saying the things he had, but the way he saw it, Buck had provoked him to.

"What were you saying that was so bad, then?" Chris asked.

"Nothing," Vin said, lowering his eyes.

Chris looked at his old friend. "Buck?"

Buck shrugged. "It was nothing," he said. He didn't really feel like repeating what Vin had said.

"All right," Chris said, then looking at Buck, "Whatever it was, you ain't got no right to do what you did, you got that, Buck?"

Buck didn't reply. There was no suitable response that wouldn't get him into more trouble with Chris. He'd just have to settle for knowing that of he and Vin, he'd not been the one to do wrong.

Unfortunately, the location the three of them had chosen for their violent argument was right across the street from the Clarion News Office. Mary stood on the porch watching them, a look of disapproval and despair in her eyes.

Ezra saw first the fight, then Mary. He chose to approach her instead of his three partners when he noticed things were under control.

Mary turned towards him when she saw him coming. "Were you boys always that rough with each other?" she asked.

"Well," Ezra began. He didn't know what had caused the fight, but he could imagine. "The four of us have been riding together for a long time now, and we're a bit tired of each other. I'm sure it's nothing serious."

"I hope so," Mary said, still watching the three men who seemed to have calmed down now. "I wouldn't appreciate it if there was fighting at my house tonight. Billy will be there, of course, and I don't want him to be exposed to that kind of thing."

"I'm quite sure they have let out enough steam today to last them for a while," Ezra said, not sure at all.

Mary kept watching Ezra's partners, then gave him an inquiring look. "Are they ganging up on Buck?"

"Who?"

"Chris and Vin," Mary said. "Well, look at them," she added when it seemed Ezra didn't comprehend, "Chris and Vin are standing right beside each other, and Buck looks like he'd rather be somewhere else."

So she noticed. "I'm sure it's nothing bad. Chris just gets a bit, ah, protective, so to speak, about Vin."

"I always thought they were a bit funny, Vin and Chris," Mary said.

"How do you mean?"

"Well, they got along so fine the first couple of years, and then they started fighting all the time, but they still seemed to be friends," Mary said. "Or at least they always seemed to enjoy each other's company, somehow. Weird..." She looked a bit distant for a while, as if reliving her old memories of two of the men who had once protected "her" town.

"Ah, yes, weird," Ezra said, nodding.

He wondered how much more thinking on her part it would take for her to figure things out. He and Buck had decided to stay in Four Corners for at least a few weeks, but he assumed Vin and Chris might leave tomorrow already. If they did, so much the better. Especially for Mary. There really was no need for her finding out what was really the reason for he and Buck not standing being around their two old partners anymore. Her heart had been broken enough times already.

***

"Exactly what time did Mary want us to come?" Ezra asked, looking at Buck who was standing on the porch outside the saloon.

"Around six."

"And she has a new abode now?"

"Yeah. When she'd decided that Four Corners was the town she wanted to live and work in, she had a small house built for her and Billy, just outside of town." Buck sipped at his coffee, with approval noticing that Chris also only had coffee. Vin and Ezra had never been ones to drink whiskey in large quantities, but Chris would have a glass for breakfast if he felt like it. Dragging a semi drunk Chris along to Mary wasn't something he wanted to have to do, though, Chris was erratic enough as it was even without alcohol. "She said Josiah knew the way there, so we'll have to go looking for him."

"What do you say we try the church first?" Chris said, sarcasm tinging his voice.

"Yes, why don't we?" Ezra said, ignoring the gunslinger's annoying presence.

"Well, that's where he should be," Vin said. "The church is why he stayed, after all."

"You and I got nothing to do in a church, Vin," Chris said, looking at a respectable couple who were walking by them just then. Respectable in that they were a man and a woman anyway. Chris spat on the ground once they had walked past.

"We don't have to walk inside," Vin said. "Ezra and Buck can-" Vin stopped talking, watching Chris who was still looking after the couple, still spitting on the ground. "Something wrong, Chris?"

Chris turned to face Tanner. "No," he said simply.

"Will you stop spitting then, and try to listen to me?"

"Sure."

Vin watched Chris for a moment, then shook his head slightly. "Anyway, I said if you mind the church so much we'll stay outside, and Buck and Ezra can go in and get Josiah."

"If he's even there," Buck said. "Josiah was never very predictable, was he?"

"Not really," Ezra said, thinking back on some of the things Josiah did to surprise them all. "Remember that woman he tried courting once, the one who belonged to that show?"

Buck laughed. "Won't ever forget it. Emma something, right?"

"Yeah." Ezra laughed too. "Who would have thought that such passion, for something not even divine, could fill Josiah's soul?"

"I think he thought she was divine," Vin said, remembering how he ran into the house where Josiah was, thinking he'd been shot, when in fact the big man was almost strangling Emma's customer while trying to teach him a thing or two about the wishes of God.

"Before he found out about the truth, anyway. Poor man." Ezra sighed, almost sadly. "Maybe he's found someone else to share his life," he pondered.

Buck looked at his friend. "About time we did too, or what do you say, Ezra?"

Ezra nodded. "But it isn't quite as easy as you would think."

"Maybe you're looking in the wrong places," Chris said, a mean grin accompanying his words.

"I don't think so," Buck said, practically spitting the words out. "There are two beautiful and nice women somewhere out there for me and Ezra. Look at Nathan and JD, if they can get women like Rain and Casey, imagine what men like me and Ezra can get. We're as good men as they are."

"My, Buck," Ezra said, appreciatively looking at the handsome man, "I do believe that's the most well-considered thing you've said all day."

"Why, thank you, Ezra," Buck said, then turned his attention back to Chris. "Believe me, we are *not* looking in the wrong places."

Vin tried hard to rein in his irritation. "He just said that to get to you, Buck, and you fell for it." Vin began walking in the direction of Ezra's church. "You always do."

Buck, who was still upset about the fight he'd had with Vin and Chris earlier that day, could only agree, albeit only to himself. Damn right Larabee got to him. He'd known the man much longer than Vin had, had seen the husband and father he'd once been turn into the man he was now, a man at war with most of the world, especially those who objected to what men like he and Vin did together. When he'd had his family, and the promise of a future with them, he'd been peaceful. After he'd lost them, he'd become angry, now he was just mad as hell. Now that he had Vin. Buck figured Vin should really be insulted for not, as it seemed, being able to give Chris the peace of mind he'd once had. He wondered why they really stayed together. It couldn't possibly be just because Vin 'sucked Chris's cock on a regular basis' which was pretty much how the younger man himself so nicely had put it. It had to be something else. He followed the others towards the church but walked behind them, wanting to avoid any more fighting with Chris.

Ezra looked back when he noticed Buck wasn't with them. He stopped, waiting for him to catch up. "Chris can be a very exasperating man at times," he said, in some small gesture of comfort.

"Tell me about it," Buck said. He and Ezra kept walking, but with a good distance to Chris and Vin. Buck decided to give voice to some of his earlier thoughts. He knew that with Ezra, he could. "Why do you think they stay together, Ezra? I mean why do they *really* stay together?"

Ezra looked at Buck incredulously. "You are joking, Buck? Tell me you are."

"What?"

Ezra sighed, then shook his head, watching Buck's bewildered expression. "They stay together because they are deeply infatuated with each other, it's that simple."

Buck looked disgusted. And he felt disgusted, almost more now than when Vin had told him how Chris liked being sucked, and liked it when Vin swallowed. "Infatuated?" he said. "You mean they're in love?"

"That would be my guess."

Buck thought that he really should have guessed too that that was what was going on, but he'd never quite wanted to go there. It was easier just thinking that Chris let Vin satisfy his needs while waiting for the right woman to come along. "What they have, that's supposed to be love?"

"Love comes in many forms," Ezra said.

"Well, for Chris, love was once a beautiful wife and a son," Buck said. "What does he have now? Some scruffy man who's much too young for him, anyway."

"Vin isn't that much younger," Ezra said. "And he might be scruffy, but he'd give his life for Chris."

"Hell, *I* would give my life for Chris," Buck pointed out. "I would have once, anyway. I ain't so sure now." He began contemplating if he would or not, if he'd give Chris his life while saving him from a bullet or something else, but before he had to make a decision, Ezra began talking again.

"The difference is that Vin is giving his life to Chris while he's still alive." Ezra looked at the two men walking in front of him, close to each other. "Love isn't only about a man and a woman kissing and having children. It's much more. It comes in many guises, and is sometimes hard to recognise."

"You sound like you're speaking from experience," Buck said. For a while there it was as if Ezra had mostly been talking to himself, lost in his own thoughts.

"Well, you know, Buck, my mother loves me, however hard that still is for me to understand," Ezra said. "But she sure doesn't act like it, and very seldom has."

"I'm glad the two of you have worked some things out," Buck said, aware of Ezra's childhood and how he'd tried to come to terms with Maude.

"Me too."

"Can't say Chris and Vin act like they love each other either, though," Buck said. "They seem to be fighting half the time."

"Maybe that's what's kept their relationship alive for so long," Ezra said jokingly.

"It's possible. But you know, Ezra, Chris was never this angry before. If he's so happy with Vin, why do you think that is?"

Ezra thought about it for a while, then said, "I think Chris is angry because he can't live with Vin the way he lived with his wife. Of all the people Chris and Vin know and have ever met, you and I are the only ones who know that they're more than friends. If you had to hide like that, wouldn't you be angry?"

"I guess," Buck reluctantly agreed. "But it's not like Chris and Vin are the only ones. There gotta be more than them, they can't be that unique."

"They probably aren't," Ezra said. "I mean, how many angry men do we meet wherever we go?"

"You telling me all those angry men are like Vin and Chris?"

"Not all of them, but I don't think it would be wrong to assume at least some of them are."

"You do have a funny way of thinking sometimes, Ezra," Buck said, smiling. "Angry men..." Ezra's logic sure moved in mysterious ways sometimes, much to his amusement. Buck began laughing, the more he thought about it.

Ezra grinned. "Think about it."

"I am thinking about it," Buck said, still laughing. When he'd calmed down, he said, "So I guess Mary's out of luck, then? Shit, I did have hopes for those two."

"Mary needs a more stable man, in my humble opinion," Ezra said. "Wouldn't you agree?"

"Unfortunately, yes I would," Buck said. Despite Vin's obnoxious way of putting it, he'd probably been right when he'd said that Mary couldn't handle being with a man like Chris. And Buck had to admit that some of what Ezra had said made sense too. "I think she still wants him though, don't you?"

"Maybe. And if so, that would be a problem of considerable proportions," Ezra said. "She will assume that Chris is available, and is here in Four Corners to stay. I think all we can do is hope that Chris handles it well, without revealing who he really is."

"And without revealing just in how many ways Vin is his partner," Buck added.

They were almost at the church now and Chris and Vin, who had been a long way in front of them, were walking slower now as if waiting for them.

"Me and Chris will stay here, while you go see if Josiah's in there," Vin said.

"If you wanna go with them, that's all right," Chris said to Vin.

Vin smiled at Chris. "No, I'll stay here with you."

"All right," Ezra said. "Come on, Buck."

The two men went inside the church, and as they had expected, Josiah was there.

"I see you're still keeping in touch with those spirits of yours, Mr Sanchez," Ezra drawled, enjoying the startled expression on the big man's face. He looked as though he was seeing a ghost.

"Ezra." Josiah looked at his long lost friend, barely believing his eyes, then when he saw Buck behind him, the smile he couldn't hold back lit up his whole face. "Buck."

"That's me," Buck said, smiling widely, walking towards the preacher.

"I thought I might never see you two again," Josiah said, then when he'd reached the two men he drew them both into a big embrace.

"But here we are," Ezra said, hugging him back. "And we have two other men with us that you haven't seen in a long time either."

"You mean Chris and Vin are with you?"

"They're right outside," Buck said.

Josiah looked confused. "Why didn't they come inside with you?"

"Er..." Buck mumbled.

"Never mind," Josiah said. "I guess if they don't wanna come to me, I'll come to them."

Buck and Ezra looked at each other, relieved that they didn't have to come up with some explanation for their two partners not having come with them. They followed Josiah outside, saw how his face lit up once again when seeing two more of his old friends.

"Vin." He hugged the smaller man tightly to him.

"Hey, Josiah," Vin said, hugging him back. "Good to see you, it's been a while."

Chris looked at the two men holding each other, trying hard not to let the sight bother him. But when it looked as if Josiah would never let go of Vin, he stepped forward. "All right, all right..." He took hold of Vin's coat, pulling him away.

Josiah laughed loudly. "You afraid someone might misunderstand things, Chris?"

"Uhm...yeah..." Chris said, having no intention to reveal the real reason. The truth was that he hated seeing other people touching Vin, even if it was only Josiah. When he and Vin were in saloons, it often happened that working girls approached them-approached Vin in particular-probably thinking a nice looking man like him would mean easy money for them, and Chris saw red each time. The girls would touch Vin's hair, play with it, and Chris couldn't say one word about it, or he'd risk he and Vin getting into trouble. Chris shook off the thought of all those disturbing girls they'd met through the years. "Well, you know people like to talk," he said, managing a smile.

"I sure do," Josiah said, extending his hand to Chris, shaking it. He'd intended to hug him too, but he could see in Chris's eyes that it wouldn't be a good move on his part to even try. He returned his attention to Vin. "So, young man, you've been all right with these old fellas?"

"Yeah," Vin said, stepping closer to Chris, having noticed his irritation. He glared angrily at him, but Chris just looked back, his eyes clearly saying he didn't think he'd done anything wrong. He looked at Josiah, trying his best to smile. "Buck said Mary told him you know the way to her house."

"Yeah. I've been there quite a few times," Josiah said, beaming.

Buck watched him suspiciously, a crooked smile on his lips. "You don't mean to say that you and Mary are seeing each other, are you?"

Josiah laughed. "No, no, nothing like that going on. We're just good friends. This is in general a very friendly town these days, very peaceful. And a lot of that is of course thanks to you boys, and the work you did."

"Seems to be growing too," Buck said.

"Yeah, a couple of new buildings, and a few more on the way soon." Josiah looked around his town, a pleased expression on his face. "Yeah, this sure is a good place to live. I hope that's why you came back here, to live here?" Josiah looked at the three men. "Or at least stay a while?"

"Well," Ezra said, "Buck and I have the intention of gracing old Four Corners with our distinguished presence for a few weeks."

"Maybe even a few months," Buck added.

Josiah smiled approvingly. "What about the two of you?" He looked at Chris and Vin.

"I think we're leaving tomorrow," Chris said.

"You in that much hurry to leave this place?" Josiah asked, wondering why that would be.

"Not in a hurry really," Vin said, "we just have some plans that maybe we need to get going with."

"May I ask what those plans are?" Josiah said.

"Yes, do tell," Ezra said. He and Buck hadn't been told about any plans of Chris and Vin's. Or maybe they just suddenly had plans so that they would have a reason to leave as soon as possible.

Josiah looked somewhat bewildered. "I thought you boys had been riding together?"

"We have," Buck said, looking at Chris and Vin, equally curious about their plans. "But," he added, thinking that with Josiah he might as well be truthful, "the last months have been a bit rough. I guess the four of us haven't talked that much. We've been riding two and two mostly."

Josiah didn't even have to ask who had been riding with who. "I see. Well, that's understandable. It's easy to start getting on each other's nerves after some time."

Ezra nodded. "Still, I'd love to hear about what plans you two gentlemen have for the future."

Chris shrugged. "We've been thinking about breeding horses. Both me and Vin are good with horses, so we figured we could at least give it a try."

"You want to settle down, Chris?" Josiah asked, surprised. The restless man he'd gotten to know all those years ago hadn't seemed much interested in settling down anywhere, with anyone.

"I've been thinking about it," Chris said. He and Vin had talked a lot about it lately, and they both really were very interested in horses, and good with them. He didn't feel like letting Josiah know why he wanted to settle down, though, didn't want him to know that it was because he wanted to eliminate-or at least lessen-the risk of anything happening to Vin, or himself. "It would be nice to have a home again," he added silently, truthfully.

Josiah watched Chris, saw the faraway look in his eyes. There was more to all this than met the eye. Could it be that Chris and Vin were even closer to each other now than they'd been when he'd worked with them? The thought neither shocked nor pleased him. "And what do you think, Vin? You wanna settle down too?"

"I think so. It'd be nice to have a real home. I ain't had one for ages." Vin glanced at Chris, but didn't meet his eyes. Chris seemed distracted, and Vin figured he was probably thinking about the small ranch they had discussed buying.

"So you'll be settling down together?" Josiah said. "That's nice. It's always pleasant to have a good friend by your side whatever you do."

"Yeah, it is," Chris said, watching Josiah closely, daring him to say anything about the fact that he and Vin would start a home together.

Josiah returned Chris's gaze, seeing the challenge in his eyes. He could handle an argument with Chris, but he didn't see the point of it. He and Vin were free to do what they wanted, just like he himself was. When he'd begun building his church, some had thought he was crazy, but he'd done it, and was a happier man for it. If building a home together would make his two old friends happy, then he wouldn't interfere.

"Boys, should we go somewhere else and talk?" Buck said, sensing the tension between Chris and Josiah. When he thought about it, Chris did have an amazing way of creating tension wherever he went. "The saloon?"

"The saloon is a very good idea," Josiah agreed. "I'm thirsty."

"Me too," Buck said. "And I want to know what's happened here while we've been gone."

"Oh, a lot has happened," Josiah said, smiling. "Chris? Vin? Ezra?" He looked expectantly at all of his friends.

"I'm practically already there, my friend," the gambler said.

"I think me and Chris need to be getting ready for tonight," Vin said. "We still ain't been to the bath house yet."

Buck thought about pointing out that it was several hours before they were supposed to be at Mary's, but decided against it. If they didn't want to join them, if they were so goddamn obsessed with being with each other, then fine. He'd have the company of Ezra and Josiah, he was sure that would be entertaining enough. "All right," he said, doing his best to hide his disapproval of their behavior. "Shall we meet back here at-" he looked at Josiah. "How long does it take to ride to Mary's house?"

"Only about half an hour."

"We'll meet here at half past five then, all right?" Buck looked at Vin, then Chris. "All right?"

"Fine," Vin said. "Sorry, Josiah," he said, turning to the preacher. "We'll talk more tonight, okay?"

"Sure," Josiah said. He was disappointed that Vin and Chris wouldn't join them, but he realised that he couldn't expect things to be exactly the way they used to be. And there was a distance between them now, he had sensed that right away. Not between Ezra and Buck, and certainly not between Chris and Vin, but between the two pairs. He guessed he'd have to be pleased that he had at least two of his brothers back. "See you later, boys," he said, turning and beginning to walk towards the saloon, Ezra and Buck right behind.

When they were out of hearing range, Chris said to Vin, "I would've thought you wanted to talk more with Josiah."

Vin looked at his lover, nodding slowly. "I did. But I think he suspected something."

"About you and me?" Chris said, putting his hands on his hips, watching the big preacher walk away with his two soon-to-be former partners. "Yeah, I noticed too."

"I just figured if we'd kept talking, he'd have asked something, and it wouldn't feel right lying to him."

"I know," Chris said.

"Why did you pull me away from him, by the way?" Vin scowled. "That was rude, not to mention embarrassing to me."

"I thought he was gonna crush you," Chris said, knowing Vin would recognise the lie.

"That ain't why you did it," Vin said. "You just get so jealous sometimes, you can't even stand a friend touching me. You're so stupid, Chris."

Chris ignored him.

"Stupid..." Vin repeated, muttering.

"All right, I'm stupid," Chris said. "So stupid in fact that tonight I'm gonna hug Mary real long and hard." He looked at Vin, smiling. "Just to make Josiah understand I ain't into you, of course. Nothing else."

Vin just looked at Chris. "I don't mind if you hug her," he said.

"It's been a while since I held a woman in my arms," Chris pondered, faking a thoughtful look. "They're so warm and soft," he continued, having no desire to hug Mary or any woman, just having a bit of fun with Vin.

"I ain't?" Vin said.

"You?" Chris laughed. "You skinny little thing. You might be warm, but you sure ain't soft."

Vin gave him a disgusted look. "Piece of shit."

Chris laughed again. "You know you shouldn't ask if you can't handle the answer."

"I don't know why I bother with you," Vin said, walking away.

Chris looked at his retreating lover. He'd said worse things before, why was Vin so upset now? "Hey, where are you going?"

"Away from here," Vin said. "I ain't taking this shit no more."

"What do you mean 'away'? Where are you going?"

"Ain't talking to you," Vin said, heading for the livery.

"Aw, shit," Chris muttered, walking after Vin.

Vin kept walking, hearing Chris following him. When he came to the livery he stepped inside, immediately walking towards the stall where Peso was. The horse whinnied when he saw Vin, and was rewarded with the soft touch of his owner. Vin kept stroking the neck for a moment, then began fiddling with the saddle.

"What are you doing?" Chris asked.

"What's it look like I'm doing?" Vin said, pushing Chris aside when he stood in his way. "I'm leaving." He put the saddle on Peso's back, staring angrily at Chris. "If you think I'm so skinny and disgusting, I'll just leave, so you won't have to look at me no more."

Chris stared back at Vin. Was he having a tantrum? That would be very unlike Vin. Unlike a man, in fact. "Vin, calm down," he tried. "I never said you were disgusting."

"That's what you meant," Vin said. He walked to stand right in front of Chris, then looked him straight in the eyes. "Nice knowing you, cowboy."

Chris stood motionless for a moment, unable to do anything but watch as Vin prepared his horse. Then he took a step towards him, putting a hand on his back. "Vin, Peso's old, he needs to rest some more," he said, trying to appeal to Vin's care for the horse. Things were beginning to feel unreal. They'd both threatened to leave the other several times before, but none of them had ever made a move to actually do it.

"Peso's mine, I'll do what I want with him," Vin said.

"Vin, don't do this," Chris pleaded, starting to panic. "Vin..." Unsure of how else he'd stop Vin from leaving, he grabbed the younger man, pulling him out of the stall. He dragged him to a wall, forcing him against it. "Vin, please," he said, kissing Vin's neck, stroking his hair, rubbing against him. "I'm sorry, Vin, I'm sorry..." His voice was full of repentance, and he kept kissing Vin's neck, amazed that he didn't put up more of a fight. Then he felt the other man's shoulders shaking, and he looked up. Vin was laughing. He abruptly let go of him. "What the fuck?" Chris watched his lover doubling over from laughing so hard.

When Vin had finally stopped laughing, he looked at Chris-who he could see was not amused-seeing him watch him with a stunned expression. "That was easier than I thought," he said.

"What?" Chris was curling his hands into fists, this close to throwing himself over Vin and teach him a thing or two.

"Scared you, didn't I?"

"What?"

"That all you can say? Got you speechless, didn't I?"

"Vin, what is all this?"

"I fooled you," Vin said. "Thought you'd know that's what I was doing."

Chris moved even closer to his lover, his fists clenching and unclenching. "You scared the shit out of me," he yelled furiously. "I should beat you senseless for that."

Vin closed the last distance between them, standing right in front of Chris. "Do it," he said calmly, the trace of a smile playing across his features.

Chris stared at him, Vin's stupid "joke" falling into place in his mind. He took a few deep breaths. "No," he said, his hands falling down at his sides, his head bowing.

Vin looked around the livery. They were still alone. He brought his hand up to caress Chris's hair gently. "You're so mean to me sometimes, Chris," he said softly. "I just thought I'd teach you a lesson." Chris looked up at him, his face shadowed with the fear he was only now beginning to let go of. Vin felt horrible. "I thought you knew I'd never leave you."

"You have a very weird sense of humor, Vin," Chris said, as if not hearing him.

Vin laughed softly. "I always did, I thought that's what you fell for."

"I fell for all of you, you fucking bastard," Chris said, his voice weak.

Vin laughed again, still stroking Chris's hair. "Would you have let me go?"

"I'd have followed you," Chris said, beginning to caress Vin's face tenderly. "Shit, Vin, you scared me."

"You didn't answer my question," Vin said.

"What?"

"I asked if you'd let me go."

"You're staying, right? So do we have to discuss that?" Chris looked into Vin's blue eyes, silently asking him to drop the subject. Vin being Vin, he didn't.

"I want to know what you'd have done if I'd left," Vin insisted.

Chris shook his head. "Don't, Vin. Don't ask me that."

"Tell me." Vin stopped stroking Chris's hair, and just looked demandingly at him.

"You really wanna know?" Chris saw Vin nod. He drew his hand along Vin's cheek, down to his throat, then let go. "All right. If you'd left, I'd have gone after you, and I'd have forced you to stay with me, to be with me," he said, meeting Vin's eyes steadily, watching for his reaction.

Vin looked calmly into Chris's eyes, nodding his understanding. "I was hoping you'd say something like that," he said, then put his arms around his lover's waist, holding him close, his head resting against Chris's shoulder.

Chris shook his head in disbelief, stunned to have learned yet another thing about this tantalizing man who he knew he'd never be able to let go of, in any way. He put his arms around Vin's back, the need to feel him close against him so bad it made him ache physically. "You little devil," he said affectionately, feeling Vin's arms tighten around him. "You're as sick as I am."

Vin drew back a little, just enough so that he could look into Chris's eyes. "Not quite, but I'm getting there," he said, smiling.

"You're a little piece of shit, you know that?" Chris kissed Vin's forehead.

"A skinny piece of shit," Vin said, smiling widely.

"Hey, you already made me pay for that one."

"Say some other stupid thing then," Vin said, "so I can make you pay again."

"No," Chris said quietly, "I think I've had enough of that for a while. And you know, Vin, you need to think about my heart when you do things like that. I can't take that much." He smiled at Vin. "Even if I might've deserved it."

Vin looked at him seriously. "I did scare you, didn't I?"

Chris nodded. "Yeah..."

"I'm sorry," Vin said, reaching up to kiss Chris's lips.

"I got what I deserved," Chris said.

"Yeah, you did," Vin said, then loosened his arms around Chris, stepping away from his embrace. He walked back inside Peso's stall.

Chris walked after him, but stayed just outside watching Vin remove the saddle from the big, dark horse. "As long as you know you'll be punished for what you did."

"Hey, you just said you got what you deserved," Vin objected, even though the threat of being punished by Chris was more of a promise to him.

"Don't mean I shouldn't punish you for it."

"Whatever," Vin said. When he was done with Peso, he motioned for Chris to come inside the stall.

"What is it now?" Chris asked, but stepped inside. The younger man immediately put his arms around him and kissed him deeply. Chris was the first to break the kiss, concerned that someone might come in. "Vin..."

"I know, I know," Vin said, carefully pushing Chris backwards out of the stall. "Besides, we need to get to the bath house."

"Actually, I need to go do some other things first," Chris said.

"What things?" Vin said while they walked out of the livery.

"Things," Chris said. "Do you need to know about every step I take?"

"Don't need to, I want to," Vin said. "So, what is it?"

"Vin," Chris said, trying to sound threatening. But considering he didn't feel like having another fight right away, he didn't think he pulled it off very well.

"Fine," Vin said. "I need to do some things too."

"All right. Should we meet at the boarding house in a couple of hours then?" Chris said, briefly touching the younger man's shoulder, then walked away slowly, waiting for an answer.

"Okay." Vin looked after Chris, wondering what he was up to, then he walked off in the other direction.

***

The five men rode slowly together, not talking much at first. Josiah, Buck and Ezra had spent three hours in the saloon discussing everything between heaven and earth, just enjoying being together again. But now that Chris and Vin were with them the atmosphere changed. Josiah knew that things would never be the same between the seven of them again, and he was beginning to come to terms with that fact. But he still didn't see why they couldn't all just try to talk and get along, if only just tonight, the night he suspected was the last time he'd ever see the tracker and the gunslinger. He was pleased that Ezra and Buck seemed to be their old selves, but he'd have loved to talk more with Chris and Vin too, especially Vin, the soft spoken man he'd had many conversations with back in the days when they'd been working side by side.

Buck watched Josiah, saw him looking at Chris and Vin with a puzzled expression on his face. He leaned towards him, speaking silently. "They've changed, Josiah, me and Ezra told you that." He looked at the older man, saw him nodding. "I think we all have, a little," he added, although that wasn't really true. He hadn't changed much, and neither had Ezra. And after having spent a few hours with the old preacher, he knew he hadn't changed much either. If Nathan or JD had, he'd find out later tonight.

"Not that much," Josiah said. "Not like Vin and Chris." He looked at Buck. "They're keeping a secret from me."

From everyone but me and Ezra, Buck thought. "I think they both just look forward to settling down somewhere, and not have to bother with people," he said.

"If that's what they want, that's what they should do," Josiah said. He always wished he could reach people, but some didn't want to be reached. It was just sad that now it was two friends of his that were drifting away. He looked at Chris, saw that he was riding slightly behind Vin, practically staring at him. He knew now what was going on between them, there was no doubting the look in Chris's eyes when he watched his younger partner; friends didn't look at each other like that. But if they didn't want to tell him themselves, he wouldn't pry. He looked at Vin again, and smiled. There was an obvious reason for Chris looking so hard at him; Vin was wearing a pair of brand new denim jeans, and they looked tight, very tight. "I've never seen you in a pair of jeans before, Tanner," he said loudly so that Vin would hear him even though he was riding some distance from him.

Vin smiled, riding closer to Josiah. "Thought it'd be nice with something new."

"They look tight," Josiah said. "Are they really comfortable?"

"Very comfortable." And very tight indeed, Vin thought, looking back at Chris, who hadn't stopped watching him since he'd first seen him in them. When he had put them on in their room, Chris had looked a bit sceptical at first, but had quickly overcome his initial reaction.

"Nice blue color," Josiah said, looking at the medium blue denim covering Vin's lower body.

"Yeah, I like it." Vin looked to his left, where Chris was now riding beside him. "What do *you* think, Chris?" he asked in a quiet voice.

"You know damn well what I think," Chris growled.

"So you think they look good on me?"

Chris glared at him. "I think you're a son of a bitch to put them on tonight of all nights," he said between clenched teeth.

Vin glanced briefly to his right, then when he saw that the other three were engaged in a conversation of their own, he said, "Ain't got no clue what you're talking about." He looked at Chris, blue eyes shining innocently.

Chris sighed angrily. "Just make sure you keep your coat on."

"Sure," Vin said, intending to do no such thing. "Don't worry, Chris," he whispered, "if you walk around with a bulge in your pants, everyone's gonna think it's for Mary."

"You just live to piss me off, don't you?" Chris looked at his lover, his exasperation growing.

Vin shrugged, but didn't reply.

When they came in sight of Mary's house, Josiah pointed it out to the other four. "See the smoke coming out of the chimney on that house there? That's Mary's place."

"Looks nice," Buck said.

The house was pretty small, but enough for a woman and her son. A very small stable was close beside it, and one rather big corral with three horses inside was right beside the stable, one smaller corral behind it. Some of Mary's horses and some of the men's horses began neighing, as if greeting each other. The commotion made Mary come out of her house, with Billy following after a few seconds. She wore a light purple dress that showed off her waist, which was still very slim despite her having grown older. Her long, almost white hair was flowing over her shoulders, down her back. She looked amazing, as she'd always done.

Billy kept behind his mother, looking shy. He'd grown taller since the men arriving-except for Josiah-had last seen him, but apart from that he looked pretty much the same. He was dressed in blue jeans, although not as tight as Vin's, and a dark blue shirt. He looked like a young gentleman, and would probably become one when adult too. Being Mary's son, she'd allow nothing less.

"Hello, Mary," Josiah said, glad to see his friend.

Mary smiled at him, looking genuinely happy. "Josiah, so good to see you," she said, stopping by his horse. "And you," she said, looking at the other four men, still smiling. "I haven't seen you in a long, long time." She decided to ignore the fact that she *had* seen them that morning, because as far as she knew they'd been too busy to notice her. So unless Ezra, who she'd spoken to briefly then, had told them that they'd had an audience, the men would believe that this really was the first time they saw each other since they left Four Corners a few years back.

"Too long," Buck said, smiling back at her. "And it's been much too long since I saw a woman as beautiful as you, Ms Travis."

"Oh, Mr Wilmington, surely you're exaggerating," she said, an almost shy smile on her face.

"I can assure you, my beautiful lady, that Mr Wilmington's words are most accurate," Ezra drawled, touching the brim of his hat in greeting.

"Mr Standish," Mary said, beaming now. "So nice to see you." Ezra had never been Mary's favorite of the seven men, being a cheating gambler with questionable moral and all, but he was still a good man and she was glad to see him again.

"Ms Travis," Chris said, nodding at her. He watched Vin do the same, then continued. "I'm glad to see you're doing well."

"Thank you, Mr Larabee." Mary watched the tall man she'd once been very much attracted to. That was years ago, and she was surprised now to find that the attraction seemed to be gone. The gunslinger was still very handsome. He looked a bit older, but so did the other men, except for Vin maybe who Mary thought looked almost exactly the same; he still looked young, several years younger than she assumed he was.

"We were all very sorry to hear about the demise of your dear husband, though," Ezra said, meaning it. Mary was a good woman, and for her to have been widowed twice was very unfair. No woman should have to suffer through that.

"Thank you, Mr Standish," Mary said, a bit surprised that he'd been the one to offer condolences on behalf of himself and his partners. She smiled, noticing they seemed reluctant to get off their horses. She was glad Josiah was there, or the situation might have been even more awkward. The four men who had arrived with the preacher were almost like strangers to her now, even though they were old acquaintances. She hoped the tension would break when they'd all talked for a while.

Josiah dismounted. "Can we use the corral behind the stable for our horses, Mary?" That was where he usually left his horse whenever he visited Mary and Billy.

"Sure," Mary said. "Billy, will you help them?" She turned around, making it impossible for her son to use her as a cover. "There's no need to be shy, Billy, these are old friends." She gently pushed him forward.

"Hi, Billy," Josiah said, ruffling his hair when he led his horse past him.

"Hi, Josiah," Billy said, his shyness momentarily leaving him. When the other four men dismounted too and walked towards him, it came back. "Hi, Mr Larabee, Mr Standish, Mr Tanner, Mr Wilmington," he mumbled, almost stuttering, trying to get the greeting session over with.

"Hello, Billy," they said in unison, smiling warmly at the boy, noticing how uncomfortable he seemed.

"Good to see you, Billy," Chris said. "You like living here with your mom?"

"Yeah," the boy replied predictably.

Chris felt bad. He had worked hard to reach Billy once, and he had managed, and then one day when the boy had come back from having stayed with his grandparents for a few months, he'd been gone. That was years ago, and now he suddenly showed up again. He would leave this time too, and he already knew there would be no time for them to reacquaint themselves. They shouldn't have come here. He shouldn't have, anyway. "Glad to hear it," he said. "It's a nice place you have here."

"We like it very much," Mary said. "It's a home, even if it's only me and Billy now." She looked down briefly, as if trying to regain the composure she'd almost lost when thinking about her late husband. "Billy, help them with their horses, please." She began walking towards the house. "The food is almost ready, I think. I'll see to it while you take care of the horses."

Billy fetched food and water for the horses, while the five men unsaddled them and let them loose in the corral. He approached Chris carefully. "Mr Larabee, how come you stayed away for so long?"

"Well, Billy," Chris began, not feeling up to having to defend why he did this or why he did that. And he'd never made any promises to Billy. "You know how we helped make Four Corners a peaceful town? That's what me and three of the partners I had there have been doing most of the time, but in other towns."

"Men like us are in demand, Billy," Buck said, smiling at the boy.

"Do you enjoy protecting towns?" Billy asked.

Chris shrugged. "It pays, makes you get by."

They went to the house, entering it. Before Vin went inside he took off his hide coat, leaving it hanging over a chair on the small porch. He ignored the glare he got from Chris, and casually looked around in the house.

"Really nice," Chris said, trying to avoid looking in Vin's direction. He wasn't sure it did much good, though. Just the thought alone of Vin's well-shaped firm butt in those tight jeans was enough to make his cock stir to life.

Mary smiled at Chris, noticing how good he looked in his black jeans and light green shirt, but she still felt no attraction to him. She smiled wider then. She had wondered what it would feel like to be close to him again, had thought it might be painful to see something she wanted but couldn't have. Now it didn't matter if she couldn't have him, because she didn't want him. Still, she thought it would be nice if the four men who had returned to Four Corners would stay there for a while.

"I have to agree with Chris," Buck said. "It is very nice." The house was even smaller on the inside than it looked on the outside, but it had a kitchen area big enough for a large table, and it had two small bedrooms. "You've done a good job here, Mary. But then, you always seem to succeed with most of what you do."

With most of what I do yes, Mary thought. Most, but not all. She thought about her marriages. They weren't failures really; both her marriages had been happy, but they had ended too soon, through no fault of her own or her husbands. She had felt lately that she might be ready to settle down with a man again, but there were no men in or around Four Corners who would suit her, and Billy. Having a man who would be a good father to Billy was most important, but she still wanted to feel attracted to him, feel the thrill of falling and being in love. Even if it was not passionately. But she had been alone with Billy for some time now, and it really didn't bother her.

"What about the others?" Buck asked. "JD and Casey, and Nathan and Rain? They were coming too, weren't they?"

Mary looked gratefully at Buck, glad that he kept the conversation going. A long moment of silence was the last thing they needed. "Rain is pregnant, I forgot to say that earlier. She and Nathan said they would've loved to come, but she's eight months pregnant, and she didn't want to take the risk of falling off a horse or something, so she's not coming. Nathan said he might drop by later in the evening, but I doubt it. I think he wants to stay and take care of Rain."

"Eight months pregnant, huh?" Buck said. "Well, if they can't come to us we'll have to come to them. I can't speak for everyone, but I think me and Ezra might stop by their place tomorrow."

"Nathan said he was hoping you would," Mary said. When she'd spoken to him, he'd been excited to hear that his old partners were in town, and he wanted to see them as soon as possible. But Rain and their unborn baby came first, and he'd said he hoped they'd understand. "He was looking forward to seeing you all."

"What about JD and Casey, then?" Vin asked, caressing his behind, making it look innocent, like he was only absently taking care of an itch.

Mary looked at Vin, noticing for the first time that he was wearing different clothes from what she was used to seeing him in. Blue jeans, and a white shirt with thin grey stripes. And he wasn't wearing his hide coat for a change. "They would be here, but they said they would be a bit late. JD had to work."

"That kid always did work hard and good," Buck said, almost with fatherly pride. He remembered the young, eager man with a sort of tenderness he seldom felt, and he couldn't wait to see what had become of him.

"Yes, he does work a lot," Mary said. "I'm surprised you didn't see him in town today."

"We did stroll past the jail, but he wasn't there," Buck said, remembering the disappointment he'd felt when he and Ezra had walked around in Four Corners earlier that day after having spent a few hours with Josiah, without running in to anyone they recognised.

"He might've been out riding in the surroundings," Mary said. "He does that sometimes."

"I guess until then we'll just have to settle for enjoying the company of our own pleasant selves," Ezra said.

"They told us not to wait for them," Mary said, "so as soon as the food is ready, we'll eat." She looked around for her son. "Billy, will you help me set the table?"

Chris heard the others talking, but only barely registered what the conversation was about. He was getting increasingly frustrated. Vin was teasing him. He did it with the skill expected of such a silent and careful man, but nonetheless he was teasing him, putting on a show that he knew only Chris would notice. "I'll just go outside for some fresh air," he said, fresh air the last thing on his mind. He needed to go somewhere where he could discreetly take care of his problem, then return to the others and get through this evening without being further distracted by his lover. If he could just come once, he was sure he'd be able to control himself for the hours politeness would require he and Vin to stay. "I'll check on the horses while I'm at it," he added, then walked out of the house.

He walked behind the stable, checking their horses in the corral in case anyone would actually ask about them when he came back, then he walked into the stable, slipping into one of the empty stalls. He stood there for a few minutes thinking that maybe he could regain control of his body in some other way, but it was completely futile. He had to touch himself, but he'd do it quickly, just get it over and done with then take care of that bastard Vin later tonight, let him know he was alive. He opened the fly of his jeans, carefully freeing his erection, moaning from his own soft touch.

"Want some help, cowboy?"

Chris looked up, seeing his lover watching him with a smile on his face that Chris at that moment could only interpret as pure evil. "No," he said, his voice a bit strained. "Go back inside and be your nice little self. And make sure you have that coat on when I get back, or I'll beat the shit out of you."

Vin chuckled. "Sure you will."

"Vin..." Chris tried to stare at him looking as angry as possible, but it was kind of hard when Vin, as it were, seemed to be the least of his problems right now.

"Just let me," Vin said, walking into the stall and quickly removing Chris's hand, replacing it with his own.

Chris moaned loudly. Shit, but Vin had a way with his fingers, his mouth, his voice, his... "Vin..."

"I know," Vin said softly, caressing the hard shaft. "Feels good, don't it?"

"That's not what I was gonna..." Chris stopped talking, not bothering to fight Vin and his exquisitely perfect touch. He needed this, hadn't thought of anything else for hours. When the hand worked him harder and faster he let go of everything else, almost forgetting where he was. He came hard, holding back the scream as much as he could.

"There you go," Vin said, gently milking Chris of every last drop, making sure it all landed anywhere but on Chris's or his clothes.

Chris looked at Vin, felt his hand still holding him, stroking softly. "You're quite something, Vin, you know that?" he said tenderly. "Want me to take care of you?" The younger man shook his head no. "Later then," Chris said. This evening might run smoothly, after all. It would all be all right. They would talk, eat, leave. It would all-

It would all come to an end very soon.

Mary stared at the sight before her, not quite willing to believe what she was actually seeing. Of all the disgusting things she'd seen in her life, this had to be the worst. What she saw was something she'd heard about, but had never wanted to have proof of. And Chris Larabee of all men. With Vin Tanner of all men. She wanted to believe it was just a mistake, some stupid joke they had prepared for her, but it wasn't possible. She saw what she saw, and she wasn't stupid. Chris and Vin were involved, sexually. And maybe it was only sexually, but they were involved. The thought came crashing into her mind with considerable force: Chris Larabee was not someone she wanted to have anything to do with anylonger, he was not the man she had thought he was. She wanted him to go away, and take his despicable longhaired friend-or whatever he was-with him.

She cleared her throat. "I didn't invite you to my house so that you could use it for your indecent actions," she said, trying to hold her voice steady. "You are disgraceful, both of you." Thank God she hadn't sent Billy to tell them dinner was ready. What if he'd found them like this, how would that have affected his mind?

When Vin heard Mary's voice he stepped away from Chris as if he'd been burned, his hand letting go of Chris's cock, leaving it in all its glory for Mary to behold. "Ms Travis," he said weakly. Shit. She wasn't supposed to have seen this, she was supposed to have stayed with the others. He looked helplessly at Chris.

Chris stared at Mary, not a trace of shame to be seen in his eyes. "Your eyes are lying, Mary," he said, his voice cold. "What you just saw don't exist in your world, right?"

Mary looked at him, a blank expression on her face. "What are you saying, Mr Larabee?"

"It don't exist, so what you saw wasn't real." Chris stared her right in the eyes.

Mary snorted, looking at him contemptuously. "Well, that sure looks real." She looked at Chris's manhood, which he had made no attempt to conceal from her.

Chris briefly glanced down at himself, a look of pride on his face, then let his cock slip back inside his jeans. "It is real, and it's very much satisfied right now, thanks to this beauty standing right here." He looked at Vin, who he could see wanted to be anywhere but there. Or maybe he was shocked, having heard for the first time Chris comment on his looks in a positive way.

Mary frowned, shaking her head. "He's a man...he's not a beauty."

"He is to me, always were," Chris said, taking a step forward, kissing Vin right on the lips.

Mary couldn't take any more. "You know, Mr Larabee," she said. "This might not exist in my world but I know about it, I do know it exists. I just think that it's something people should do in private, not in other people's stables."

"You're right, Ms Travis," Vin said, wanting this awful situation to just pass. "And we're really sorry." He looked at Chris, slapping his arm. "Aren't we, Chris?"

Chris gave Mary a crooked-and not very honest-smile. "We deeply regret this situation having occured at your property, Ms Travis," he said tauntingly.

Mary looked at Chris, understanding everything clearly now. She'd always wondered if she'd done something wrong to make Chris not want her, but now she knew it had never been like that. It had never been her fault, and-she assumed, trying to be magnanimous-never Chris's fault either. There was just never a future for them, and now she knew why. Now that she didn't even want him... Nonetheless, she didn't want these two men around her anymore, and she definitely didn't want them around Billy. Her real friends were the men waiting in her house, and the man and woman on their way. Mr Tanner and Mr Larabee would be history from now on. It had to be that way. "That's right, Mr Larabee," she said, "this is my property, and I want the two of you gone within ten minutes."

"Oh, Ms Travis, come on," Vin said almost pleadingly, getting a look from Chris.

"We'll be leaving right away, don't worry," Chris said, steering Vin out of the stable with a firm hand on his shoulder.

They went for their horses, saddling them quickly, then mounted them and rode to the small yard in front of the house. Vin got off his horse, but only to go and get his coat, then he got back up on Peso. Three men and a boy were watching their moves with surprised looks on their faces.

"Are you leaving already?" Billy asked.

Before Chris or Vin could respond, Mary was there. "Mr Larabee isn't feeling all that well you see, Billy, and he and Mr Tanner need to ride back into town again."

"You were fine when you got here," Billy pointed out, the beginning of a pout appearing on his lips. He was just starting to loosen up a bit, and now they were leaving. That just wasn't fair.

"And now I ain't," Chris said, regretting that he had to be so harsh with the boy. "Things change," he added, meaning it in every way.

"Goodbye, Ms Travis," Vin said, then turning to his three former partners, "see you around, boys."

Chris looked at Mary, giving her an almost imperceptible nod. "Ms Travis." He turned towards the three men and Billy, nodding at them too. "Gentlemen." He urged his horse on and rode away, hearing Vin and his horse following closely behind.

Buck looked at Ezra, who frowned at him in return as if saying that no, he had no idea either what the hell was going on here. He looked inquiringly at Mary.

Mary looked at them, her face slightly flushed. "I...I went into the stable to see if everything was all right and to tell them dinner was ready, and Mr Larabee was there and he looked as if he'd throw up any minute." She tried to sound as honest as she could, hoping no one would even consider not believing her. "Mr Tanner said he'd ride back to town with him."

Buck looked at her, knowing it wasn't the truth she was telling them. He had an idea what the truth might be, and he was glad that she had kept it from Billy's young ears. "I'll just go and have a word with them," he said, walking after the two men.

Ezra followed him, but Josiah chose not to. There was nothing to gain here, no people to reach out a hand to; if he did, they wouldn't accept it. The sorrow he felt was profound, and he knew it would take time before that feeling left him. But such were some things in life, and he knew he was blessed to have many people that did appreciate him and his helping hand. It would have to be enough.

Buck soon reached Chris and Vin, and told them to stop. "What the hell did you do?" he asked them, but looked only at Chris.

"How many guesses do you need?" Chris said, managing-barely-to stop himself from sneering at his friend.

"Chris..." Vin said, not wanting another argument.

Ezra raised his eyebrows, looking at them accusingly. "Gentlemen, do not tell me that she saw what I, and Buck, I assume, think she saw?"

Chris smiled. "Well, I won't then."

"But that *is* what she saw?" Buck asked, although he sure didn't need to hear the answer to know what Mary had been exposed to.

Vin looked at Buck and Ezra, guilt written all over his face. "Yeah, that is what she saw," he said.

"I figured," Buck said silently, upset that a fine lady like Mary should have to witness something like that.

"Did she tell you to leave?" Ezra asked.

"Yeah, and I don't blame her," Vin said.

Buck looked at him carefully, trying to see if he was joking. "What's this, Tanner? You didn't seem much guilty yesterday when I saw the two of you, and now you seem almost ashamed."

Vin shrugged. "Well, you know how she feels about Chris, or used to feel, anyway. I just don't think she should have seen that."

"Oh, for God's sake," Chris said. "We weren't exactly doing anything, not when she saw us, anyway. Vin had his hand around my cock, that's all."

"Well," Ezra said, "I would assume that even if she didn't see much, she saw more than enough."

"Look," Chris said, "just say hi to JD and Casey from me and Vin, all right?"

Buck stared at him, hardly believing his ears. "That's it? You're just gonna leave? What the hell are you doing, Chris?"

"I'm letting go of my past, Buck," Chris said, meeting the stare with steady eyes. "You know I need to once in a while."

"You're letting go of your past?" Buck said. "Does that past include me too? Ezra?"

Chris looked away then, a lump in his throat threatening to form. "No," he said after a while. "We'll meet again." He looked at Buck, then Ezra, then Buck again. "If you want to," he added, almost uncertainly.

Buck swallowed before speaking. For a fraction of a second, he'd felt like he was going to start crying, but it seemed he had himself under control now. "Damn right I want to," he said, his voice thick. "And I wanna see you too again, you scruffy old thing," he said, looking at Vin.

Vin smiled at him, a genuine smile. "You will, Buck. Ain't getting rid of me that easy."

Buck laughed softly. "Now, why does that sound like the truth?"

"Because it is," Vin said. "And admit it, Buck, you like it when I annoy the shit out of you." He laughed, glad that some of the tension was gone and that they could part as friends, even if it seemed almost everything else had gone straight to hell.

"Well, you've had your moments, I'll give you that," Buck admitted. He shook his head slowly and smiled, looking at the two men that were about to leave. "We've all had our moments together, haven't we?"

"We have," Vin said. "It's been fun."

"It sure has," Ezra agreed. "And I do hope that we will all cross each other's paths someday in the not too far off future."

"We will," Chris said. "In the meantime, I hope you'll take care of my old friend." He looked at Ezra, saw him nodding. He knew Buck would be in the company of a good man.

"I will do that, Mr Larabee. And you two take good care of each other now."

"And please," Buck said, "keep your clothes on when there are others around." He smiled, hardly believing himself that he was actually joking about it now. But it felt right parting on good terms, and he didn't want to let anything destroy it. So many things could go wrong, and he knew there was that small risk that they'd never see each other again at all.

"We will," Chris said, smiling back at him. He looked at Vin. "Come on, Vin, let's go. Bye, Buck, Ezra." He looked at the two men, then rode away, only looking back once to see if Vin was with him.

"See you, boys," Vin said, then followed Chris.

"Don't let go of your past too much, Chris," Buck called after Chris, sadness washing over him. He looked at Ezra, getting a small smile from him, and he was happy that he still had that man by his side. He began walking back towards the house, feeling a hand stroking gently up and down his back a few times before letting go.

"You all right, Buck?"

Buck thought about telling Ezra that he wasn't, but didn't. He would be all right, he was sure they would all be all right, so he just nodded. "Yeah," he said when they had almost reached the house. "I'm fine."

Chris and Vin rode for almost fifteen minutes before talking. This wasn't the best day they'd ever spent, far from it. It had been harder to say goodbye than either of them had thought. Vin knew it was especially hard on Chris saying goodbye to Buck, even if it was only-hopefully-temporarily. When they rode through the outskirts of Four Corners, Vin began thinking about how stupid it all was really, how things so seldom turned out the way you planned them. He looked at Chris, shaking his head slowly.

"What?"

Vin smiled. "I was just thinking that this gotta be like the worst reunion ever."

"I don't think it counts as a reunion at all, actually," Chris said, smiling too. "But I was always more into unions, anyway," he added, reaching over to caress Vin's leg. "Come on, let's get to our room and see if we can try and forget this day, all right?"

***

"You ain't punished me yet," Vin said, while saddling his horse early in the morning. Early enough that no one else was around, just like he and Chris wanted it. No people, no quarrels. Simple.

"Haven't I? What do you call what happened last night, then?" Chris chuckled softly when thinking back to the failure that was yesterday.

"That was embarrassing, but it was no punishment."

"Yeah, well, I'm sorry about it anyway," Chris said. "Even if it was your fault."

"My fault?" Vin said. "Just because you ain't got no control over yourself..."

"If you hadn't followed me-"

"Shut up, Chris," Vin cut him off. "Besides, I don't think you're sorry at all. At least you didn't act like it yesterday." Vin looked at Chris, carefully studying his face, noticing the smirk. "In fact," he said suspiciously, "I think you had fun."

"You thought it looked like I was having fun when we said goodbye to Ezra and Buck?" Chris said, getting angry. "You know we might never see them again."

"I know," Vin said quietly, sadly. "But that's not what I meant. I meant with Mary, I think you had fun shocking her."

Chris laughed. "Well, maybe a little. But I didn't do it intentionally, you know. She wasn't supposed to walk into the stable like that."

"But she did, and you know, Chris, you were pretty mean to her." Vin thought back to the situation that had arisen, and it occured to him that Chris had been uncharacteristically cold and mean to Mary. "You're not as polite as you used to be."

"I was never polite, Vin, I was just never impolite."

That's quite true, Vin thought, patting Peso's neck. He mounted the horse, then he and Chris began slowly riding out of Four Corners. "I would've liked to see Nathan and JD, though."

"I know, and that's what I'm sorry about, that there was no chance for that. I know that's why you wanted to go there in the first place."

"You think we'll meet them some other time?"

"If you want to, Vin, we can always come back here in a while," Chris said. "I don't care what Mary thinks about me or you. But maybe you do?"

"Not really," Vin said. "I'm just glad I wasn't sucking you when she saw us."

Chris laughed. "I don't think it would've made much difference, Vin."

"Guess not. I'm just getting kinda tired of people watching us having sex."

"That's why we're getting our own place," Chris said. "As soon as we find something nice and affordable, we'll settle down, all right?"

"Sounds good to me."

They stopped to eat and rest a couple of times during the day, then before nightfall they found themselves a place where they could set up camp for the night.

"Vin, if you go see if you can find us something to eat, I'll take care of the horses and set up a fire, all right? But don't go too far."

Vin nodded, coming back twenty minutes later with a couple of rabbits which Chris quickly took care of and cooked for them. After dinner they sat in silence, just enjoying the stillness of the evening, watching their horses grazing and the darkness slowly settling. After a while, Chris got up and walked to get something in his saddlebag. Vin watched him curiously.

Chris walked past Vin, sitting down by a large tree, leaning against it. "Come here, Vin," he said, spreading his legs, making room for Vin to sit there.

Vin joined him, leaning back against Chris's hard and warm chest. "This is nice," he mumbled contentedly.

Chris put his arms around him. "I got something for you," he said, kissing Vin's ear.

"What's that?" Vin asked, tilting his head to look at Chris.

"Just a little something I want you to have," Chris said, picking up the small box with the silver ring in it. He held the ring in front of Vin's face. "You like it?" He didn't wait for a reply, just gently took Vin's left hand in his, putting the ring on his ring finger.

"Are we getting married, Chris?"

"Don't be stupid, of course not," Chris said, still holding Vin's hand.

"That's the finger you put the ring on, though," Vin pointed out.

Chris sighed. "It was meant as an engagement ring, sort of, and that's the closest we'll ever get to being married."

"Where did you get the ring?"

"In Four Corners," Chris said. "I got it at the same time you bought those damn jeans of yours."

"You like them," Vin said simply.

"Yeah," Chris admitted. "You like the ring?"

Vin looked at the now adorned finger. "Yeah, I like it," he said. "I like what it means."

"Means I'm keeping you for good," Chris said, nibbling on Vin's right ear.

"You'd better," Vin mumbled. "So, where's the ring I'm supposed to put on your finger then?"

Chris let go of Vin's ear. "What?"

"You said it was an engagement ring, so where's the other ring?"

"I ain't got one," Chris said, now concentrating on Vin's neck.

"So I'll be wearing a ring, but not you?" Vin asked irritatedly.

"Hey, if you'd come up with the idea first, I'd be the one with a ring on my finger," Chris said defensively.

"That ain't how it's supposed to work," Vin objected.

"Well, I did actually think of getting two rings, but considering the inscription I asked for, I think the jeweller would have been suspicious."

"Inscription?"

"If you take the ring off, you'll be able to read it," Chris said, burying his nose in Vin's hair. "Doesn't say anything you don't already know, though."

"You know I still ain't good at reading, Chris."

"It's just one word, plus my name, you'll be able to read it. It's not very original, though, so don't get too excited."

Vin took off the ring, then got up and walked to the small fire to have a look. "M..." he began, then, "mine. Mine?" He walked back to Chris, staring down at him. "What do you mean not original? I ain't ever heard of an inscription like this."

Chris calmly looked up at his partner. "How many inscriptions have you heard of?"

"Not many, but..." Vin put the ring back on, and sat down between Chris's legs again. "Ain't it usually like 'always' and 'forever' and that stuff?"

"Do you mind the inscription?"

"No, it's not that, I-"

"Good. I just wanted one simple word that would reflect my feelings for you."

"And 'mine' is that word?"

"I thought it was fitting," Chris said flatly.

"It's perfect," Vin said, melting into Chris's embrace. "Now I just need to get you a ring in the next town we come to."

"I don't think that's a good idea," Chris said.

"Why not?"

"Don't you think it'll look a bit odd if we both wear rings, considering we're always together?"

"Weren't we planning on not being around people unless we have to?" Vin retorted.

"Yeah, but-"

"No buts, cowboy, I'm getting you a ring. One just like this, with the same inscription on it."

"I think it's better if yours says 'Vin' though, instead of 'Chris'," Chris said.

"Very funny." Vin tilted his head to kiss Chris's chin, feeling the faint grace of his stubble, then leaned back again. "We should really go back to Four Corners tomorrow and tell everyone."

"I don't think so."

"No, I guess not," Vin said. He closed his eyes briefly, then had to open them right away, wanting to look at the ring again. He caressed it with the fingers of his right hand, loving how it felt, how right it looked. "You know, Chris," he said, "I can't believe it took you like what? five, six years to figure out you wanted to get engaged to me."

"Quit complaining, Tanner," Chris said.

"Ain't complaining." Vin snorted. "It just makes me wonder if you weren't-"

"Vin."

"What?"

"You know how you're usually very good at being silent?"

"What's your point?" Vin asked suspiciously.

"My point is," Chris said, tightening his arms around the younger man, "that this is a very good moment for silence."

"Why?"

"Vin."

"What?"

"Just shut up, all right?"

*****

End

          -Doro, I Adore You