I'm Slapping A Restraining Order
on Mr.
Bush !
Enough is Enough! For too long the innocent children of
America have had to
endure the unsolicited advances of shameless office seekers. Especially
during this period in the election cycle, children all over the country are
being stalked, slobbered over, patted, poked, prodded, shaken, squeezed and tossed into the air by
complete strangers whose only interest is a convenient photo-op.
Exactly what is it about parents who offer their
children up to this sort of unwarranted abuse? Isn't it a
throwback to pagan rituals where parents offered their children up to
tribal leaders as human sacrifice? What are we really doing to our
children?
It's telling the way babies molested
by political candidates, later exhibit all the symptoms of severe
emotional trauma, and cannot even talk about what happened to them. Their
parents later report how they tend to
cry a lot, experiencing mood swings and sleepless nights, throwing temper tantrums and
even wetting their pants.
More and more adults today
are recovering repressed childhood memories of abuses they suffered as political road kill
along the campaign trail. I myself continue having painful nightmares concerning a
certain jowly, unshaven Republican presidential candidate who nearly sandpapered
my nose off with his cheek.
Here's a picture of another Republican
candidate
caught in the act of corrupting the
morals of innocent schoolchildren by teaching them how to shoot craps:

For too long our children have been
prostituted by a corrupt political system that treats children like visual sound
bites. For too long Republicans and Democrats alike
have dragged 'the children' into every political debate ("let's do it for the children, bla bla..").
But really only as a means of feigning compassion and a dedication
to America's future they really don't posess, since they never follow up on all their promises.
No More!!
Accordingly, and on behalf of all America's
children, I intend to file
a class action
lawsuit and restraining order against George Walker Bush, Governor of Texas
and Republican candidate for President of the United States. This suit will
compel him to stay
at least 20 feet away from every baby in America, unless, of course, Mr. Bush is directly
related to said baby, or has in his possession a written waiver from the child's
parents or legal
guardians, and has paid a $5,000 cashiers check or money order in advance for each
pre-approved baby he approaches, as a fee and down payment on future therapy.
Why am I doing all this? And why have I singled out Gov Bush, rather than some other sleazy politician?
Because the line has to be drawn somewhere. Because Mr. Bush is undoubtedly the most shameless political
baby-kisser on the face of the planet. And because not only does he seem
to kiss twice as many babies per campaign/hour than any other politician, but his record as governor
makes it abundantly clear that Mr. Bush has done (and intends to do) the least
for America's children than probably any other politician. To Witt, I
intend to file with the court the following bill of particulars concerning Mr.
Bush's tenure as governor, as proof of his false and abusive
affections:
In 1999, Texas rates almost last - 48th in best places to raise
children (1).
When Mr. Bush came into office the ranking was 29th. Why has it gotten so
much worse? Because Mr. Bush has been more concerned with cutting taxes for rich
people than in helping children. Texas now ranks second in children living in
poverty - 24.2% of Texas' children vs. 20.4% nationally (2). It ranks 1st in
children without health insurance (3). 1st in pollution released by manufacturing
plants (4). 46th in High School completion rate (5). 48th in
spending for the arts and culture (6). 46th in spending for libraries (7).
49th in spending for state parks (8). Teen drug use is up in Texas, and down
nationally (9) - and the teen birth rate is the 5th highest in the nation (10). (after all, what else
can kids do in Texas?)
Sound like somebody who loves children?
I think NOT! 
I would also submit that a candidate like
Mr. Bush, someone with a history of alcoholism, drug abuse,
womanizing and temper tantrums, should not be given unlimited access to
impressionable children just because he's running for president. A
divorced parent with such a history would lose custody of their children. Any parent who treated their children with the same neglect as
Mr. Bush has treated the children of Texas, would have those children
taken away. And so should he. That's why I intend to slap a
restraining order on his butt.
Here's baby kicking the bonehead again,
this time in slow motion:
(1) Children's Rights
Council (2 US Bureau of Census, Current Population Trends (3)U.S.
Bureau of Census, Current Populations Trends (4)U.S. EPA, Office of Pollution
and Prevention (5)U.S. Department of Education Office of Educational Research
and Development (6)Texas Observer (7)Statistical Rankings by State (8) Austin American-Statesman, 18
July 1999
(9)1998 Texas School Survey of Substance Use Among
Students: Grades 7-12, Texas Commission on Alcohol and Drug Abuse (10)U.S.
Dept Health and Human Services, National Center for Health Statistics
Disclaimer: This webpage does not
advocate the support or defeat of any candidate for any office and is not
connected in any way to any political campaign. This webpage is for issue
advocacy only and not election advocacy.

Lawsuit compiled by:
trebby@my-deja.com
See George Doing the Hampster
Dance
Also, see why some people are calling
George W. Bush the
AntiChrist!