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Q. I'm embarrassed to be completely naked in front of my boyfriend. I insist we always have sex in the dark, and I cover myself up as soon as we're done. How can I feel more comfortable in the nude?
A. Chances are your boyfriend isn't nearly as critical of your body as you are. Men don't look at us and think, "Breasts could be bigger; stomach has an extra inch; look at those monster hips!" More likely they're thinking, "Naked woman; warm soft flesh; delicious curves!" Even so, in a culture obsessed with model-thinness and perfectly shaped buns and breasts, it's tough to feel good about what you've got.
Your first step toward no-clothing confidence is to love your body when you're alone. Strip down to your birthday suit and check yourself out in the mirror; then warm up to your own beautiful image. Walk around your apartment naked. Do chores in the buff, like washing dishes and vacuuming. (I've been cleaning in the nude for years. My boyfriend lovingly calls me The Naked Cleaning Baroness.) Soon you can take your nudie show on the road (i.e., back to his bedroom).
When you are alone with him, ease yourself into full exposure. Make love in the glow of a candle instead of bright light; flickering candlelight illuminating your flesh is far sexier than fluorescents. After sex, throw on a sheer nightgown or slip if you feel overexposed. If he begins removing your security layer, tell him you feel sexier with it on. Keep yourself comfortably covered until you are sure you can carry off the female "full monty" with pride. Body confidence is one of the key ingredients of being sexy. Men are enamored with females who flaunt their flesh without self-consciousness — no matter what their size or shape. So show him what you've got, and be proud of it!
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